Sami Wunder Success Story - How My Client Paula Went From Chronically Single To Soulmate Love

So hello, this is Sami Wunder, and I am excited to bring forward a huge success story from one of my clients, Paula, from New Zealand. And thank you, Paula, first of all, for making this happen for us.

My pleasure.

Thank you for making the time. I know you're a busy woman, in-demand woman. And as maybe everyone who's watching this already knows me, but for those who don't, And my gift on this planet is to support smart, strong, highly successful women in also being highly successful at love. So my mission is that women on this planet, millions of women on this planet, get to know that they don't have to choose between success and love, that they get to have both. And I live this in my own life. And I am here to showcase a success story with another woman who is living her dream. She's successful and she is highly accomplished, very highly educated, and she has amazing love in her life. So Paula, can you tell us a little bit about how you found me? When was it that you first found me and what was it like? What was your initial response to what you saw?

Sure. So I think a friend actually passed on the ebook that you wrote, and it must have been beginning of 2016. So I was 46, 47, single, not very successful with relationships. And I read that ebook, and my initial thought was, oh, the feminist in me had a real problem with it. And then I sat with it, and actually it started to make a lot of sense. So, I decided to explore a little bit further and went on your page and just started reading about all these women who were having amazing success stories with their love lives. So, I think I then bought Date Like a Diva soon after I did Attract Your Soulmate. I've kind of done everything that I could possibly do of yours. I've been like a sponge just soaking it all up. I mean, it's, you know, you get to my age and you're very set in your ways and suddenly there's new ways of thinking. So it really challenges you and it's really great. So I did Leap Into Love, I did Inner Circle back in March 2017, and then I did Extraordinary Love, which was for the singles last year, went to Malta last year, and did Extraordinary Love for Relationships last year as well because I got to graduate. Yay!

So yes, you've, you've literally come full circle. You've started with the really small programs and then you were inspired inspired and dived in quickly with the first edition of the Inner Circle. I remember that when we first started it, you were in it. Then you did 2 editions of it as a single woman, and in the second edition, you found your amazing love and graduated to the third edition, which was women in relationships. So wow, it's— it's— you have really invested in your growth, and you have really invested, like, time, energy, emotion. It's remarkable, and you have created those results for yourself, which is so inspiring. So, Paula, I want to ask you, you said something really interesting. You said the feminist in me was angry or pissed off or irritated. What was that? Can you tell us more about it?

I think, you know, just throughout my whole life, I've been Yeah, a go-getter, and I'll go out and get what I want, and that includes men as well. So I've been the one that's always, you know, or not always, but has initiated contact with men. And, you know, you kind of think in this day and age, well, if I like someone, why can't I chase them or go after them? But clearly it wasn't working. So, you know, and I was at this age where I'd almost convinced myself that this was my lot in life, that I was going to be single, and maybe this was what I was going to be like for the rest of my life. Grow old, be single, maybe have a few lovers on the side, and that was it. And I think all my family and friends thought the same too. And then I remember reading that book and listening or reading some of the posts on your page and thinking, well, actually, I too can have this. Why can't I? What's stopping me? You know, so let's dive in.

That's beautiful because I think one of the biggest reasons why women don't dive in and do the work is because we believe at some level that we can't have it. Just, it's just that resignation that comes once you've been, you know, burnt and you haven't had success in this particular area of your life for a long time. Um, I think it's just really hard to believe you can have it. And this is what stops so many people from diving in and jumping in. And do you want to tell us— we will go into the results in more detail, but do you want to just give us one sentence on what were your results from all this work that you have done, 3 rounds of the Inner Circle? What were your results?

Um, I think it's finding my true self. And just feeling so much happier in myself. You know, I wasn't very happy. I was quite negative, especially when it came to men. I had a lot of beliefs that there was a shortage of decent men out there of my age in my small town, in my small country. And I really had to work on busting those limiting beliefs. And once I did, then everything just went ahead in leaps and bounds. So I think it's a sense of— Calmness and really just having that faith in who I am.

And it's so funny, you don't even talk about your man.

No, no, that's just a side product, a very nice side product. But yeah, no, seriously, it is, it's all about yourself, and you can't get the man until you've done that work on yourself.

So you do have the man for those who are looking to, you know, Be inspired. Do you think you found your soulmate?

Yeah, yeah, definitely. I've, you know, I went on an awful lot of dates last year. I hate to think how many I went on. And I actually had a lot of fun doing it. So I think it was up around about 60 dates alone last year before I met my man. And yeah, he's a lovely man and he treats me well and I'm on that pedestal and everything's just so easy. It's really, really easy with him. And, you know, he's everything I journaled about, everything that I, you know, when I first journaled about the way I wanted to feel around a man, he's exactly it.

Wow, that's amazing. So we'll talk more about your man in just a moment. But I mean, firstly, I'm so proud of you. My heart is just so full because to see you that way and to see you here now is just such a joy. I think what I want to ask you is if during the journey at some point you were scared again and were losing faith, or, you know, maybe things were not working out the way you would expect them to work out, and you were doing all this work, Inner Circle 1, 2, 3, was there any time you questioned, oh my God, what am I doing? Like, why is it not working out?

Oh yeah, yeah, and I definitely remember having those calls with you. And yeah, getting up at ridiculous o'clock. I think it was about 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning that I— in the middle of the week that I was getting up to have these calls with you. And definitely that first Inner Circle where just I hardly went on any dates and I wasn't getting dates and I didn't know what was wrong. And yeah, you do start questioning. What is it that I'm not doing? Yeah, so there was times, and I remember you saying you just got to keep staying on your bridge and working on it. And that's all I can say to anybody else that's going through that. Yes, you might be experiencing that, but if you keep persisting, you will get those breakthroughs.

Yes, I think what we also found out in Malta, when I observed your energy, I could just, after the Malta retreat, so for everyone who's watching, they may not know what Malta is. So it was the Malta retreat that Paula was also a part of while she was in the Inner Circle. And I think there, your vibration really shifted. Like, I could feel it from when you arrived to when you left, there was a different woman. Energetically, there was a different woman. She was more fun, she was more relaxed, she was more open, she was less outcome-oriented. I could just see that shift. What was going on there?

Did you

feel like everything was coming together? The living of the work was coming together?

Yeah, everything was coming together. I think also just being with like-minded women really, really helped as well. I was a little bit hesitant and maybe a little nervous about going to the Malta retreat. I've never been away with a a big group of women just to talk to women before, so I was a little bit nervous about that. And actually, when I got there and went on the retreat, I just realized, you know what, these women are really cool and they're all so supportive. And that was really lovely. And I've made some really good friendships from that as well. And I think the other thing that really worked for me was that I discovered I'd had some past hurts, which I thought I'd sort of dealt with, but clearly I hadn't. And so, yeah, I remember you leading us through— was it some meditation? And that really, really helped as well. And all these past hurts came up, and I just thought, wow, I, you know, I thought I had really put those to bed, but clearly I hadn't. So I think just having that time out, that dedicated time to work on those things, really, really helped.

Yes, I can totally resonate with that. I think we carry so much baggage that weighs down our hearts. And I think the older we get, the more jaded we get or the more heavy our vibe gets because it's like with each year, there's 2 more bricks added to that bag of weight on your shoulders. So I think it's so important to, when you do this work, to really free yourself from all that is holding you back. So that you can start afresh and you can create brand new, a brand new love story. So, Paula, tell us a little bit more about the 3 key breakthroughs you had from this work. And as you can see, the results at the beginning are so intangible. So I think people have a hard time investing in the intangible, which is self, right? Your soul is not tangible. How you feel is not tangible. A Chanel bag is tangible, a trip to Costa Rica is tangible, but this work on self and being supported— so I would love to know what were the results you got, what were your biggest breakthroughs in the last 2 and a half years we've been working together?

Yeah, okay, being able to speak my truth. I haven't been a very good communicator and I've been very aware of that in relationships. So learning how to speak my truth in a soft, feminine diva way, but remaining true to myself, that's been a really big thing. And it's still a work in progress. You know, I've been the type of person that's avoided conflict. And I remember you helped me deal with a conflict that had nothing to do with me, and it happened with a friend, and you gave me a script. And it was really, really scary to have to deal with this person and and ask them, you know, something that's— yeah, I won't go into detail, but I just remember I was very, very scared, but the script you gave me just really helped. And then at the end of that, I just felt so powerful and true to myself. And that was a real big breakthrough, learning how to do that. Besides the vibe, you know, which I talked about earlier, just being happy about myself. And the other Big one that for me that I really remember is busting my myth around men, like I said before. So it was that scarcity mindset. I changed my mindset around that and that just opened up the floodgates. In fact, a friend who was doing this course convinced me to go on Tinder Gold. And that's when you can see who likes you. And I'd been, you know, maybe matching with 10, 20 guys And then when I went on to Tinder Gold, I saw I had something like over 2,000 likes, and that just changed everything as well. So, you know, really just working on those limiting beliefs and that scarcity mindset and just truly believing that there is somebody out there for me.

Yeah, and we could go on and on, right? You know so much. You're a semi-expert yourself now on relationships. Tell us about your man. How was the journey with him? Where did you find him? What was the courtship like?

I met him on Tinder.

Tell us.

And when I saw his photos, I didn't hold out a lot of hope. He's somebody I wouldn't have normally have even been attracted to. He takes really bad photos. He's so much better in real life. But, you know, I was trying to be open and and date people I normally wouldn't date and just basically go off what they were writing. So I thought, well, what have I got to lose, you know? And I had a really lovely date with him. He was a perfect gentleman. And at the end of that date, he invited me out for a second date. And he continued to do that throughout our courtship. So at the end of every date, he would ask if I could go out for the other date. He would also text and say, may I phone you? And even to this day, he doesn't really phone me unless he sends a text and asks if it's okay, which is, you know, really respectful of me and my time, and I find that, you know, quite amazing. He is a very old-fashioned value man and a really, really good man as well, and he makes me laugh, he treats me well, he's supporting me, and So many ways possible. And just, yeah, a beautiful soul.

Just like you, a beautiful soul.

Thanks. A

beautiful soul found a beautiful soul. So that's beautiful. And what I'm hearing is that it's really easy. It was all really easy.

Yeah, everything's been easy with him. We've had a few moments where I've had to you know, tell him my displeasure about something. But again, he's super, super respectful, and he'll sit and listen and change it, or, you know, we'll talk about it. So I just feel at ease with this guy. I feel he's so super trustworthy, so I feel safe in discussing these kind of matters with him, whereby maybe with other guys they would just cut me off or not be interested in hearing what I've got to say. But, you know, my man takes the time and he listens and he wants to please me.

Amazing. And would you say you were leaning back and relaxed and doing what we taught you all these years?

Not the whole time, no. You know that.

Well, I think we could work— we had to do a little bit of work on the relax, but I think leaning backwards, you've mastered that.

Yeah, I mean, there's still things that I'm mastering. I still do some behaviors which I'm very aware of. I don't know whether everybody knows the slow poison behaviors, but yeah, there's definitely some of those that I do. And, you know, I think it's just awareness, and I do catch myself in the moment. And yeah, the leaning back, yes, I do Definitely leant back with this guy, and there was a moment where he asked me if I was dating other men, and I had to come clean. And, you know, that was uncomfortable, and I had to do the no girlfriend speech, and he was quite upset with that, which made me quite uncomfortable. And we had to talk about it a couple of times until he finally said, well, you know, I will step up, I'll be your forever man.

Yeah, yeah. And I think it's so But maybe I should not say this, I should ask you, was it good to have support during these critical moments?

Yeah, most definitely. You can't put a price on that, you know, that moment where you know that that conversation is going to turn up or going to happen that night. So to be able to go out to the ladies and to yourself and the group and say, help, what do I do? Yeah, that's so invaluable.

I'm glad. I'm glad. And that's also what we try to give in the Inner Circle. That's our intention, that for your critical moments, your make-through, breakthrough moments, you know you are supported. You know you have a place to turn to. So, Paula, you are a dazzling diva success story. Congratulations. I know. I think you don't even recognize it yourself because you moved through it and you're at the next level now. But I know where it started. And I can just tell you from my vantage point, this is— it's been incredible to get to know you. It's been incredible to support you. It's incredible to see a woman not give up. It's incredible to see a woman carry on. And we both know you— what, what is your profession? What is, what is it that you do?

I kind of do Several things, but I'm in production in the creative industries and also doing a bit of mentoring around that as well.

Yeah, yeah. So we know that, you know, you didn't have that— that investment was not like under your mattress. You had to work hard to like invest in yourself and to keep doing it, to go on and on and not stop with the support. So I want to ask you, What made you keep choosing to get support and not stop? It's very interesting.

Yeah, and especially, you know, coming on the New Zealand dollar, the exchange rate to the euro is not very good at all. So it's a hell of a lot

of

money. But I guess because I got results early on and I could see the value, and obviously you know, I've done 3 rounds now, and to go from the singles into the relationship, I realized, you know, I haven't been in a relationship in a very, very long time, and I've got to learn how to be in a relationship. So that was invaluable. And through that time as well, I got made redundant, so— and I'm only just getting back into part-time work now. So that was a big financial investment for me, but I still wouldn't change it. You know, just that having that support, helping me through, you can't put a price on that. Even, you know, with little old New Zealand dollar.

That's amazing. So what would be your final piece of advice to anyone who is considering joining us for the next edition of the Inner Circle, but is sort of biting nails and, you know, feeling the usual resistance, which is put a price on it and it's expensive. That's how the mind thinks, right? So what would you say to this woman who is thinking this way right now?

Look, I've been there too. Many years ago, I think I joined up with, with some other kind of support group for singles, and then I never followed through on it. So all I can say is, you know, why did I wait so long to do this? You know, I'm I'm now 49 and here I am, you know, finally with the love of my life, when if I'd actually done something about it, I could have had this a lot earlier on. Maybe I wasn't ready, but yeah, why waste time? Just do it.

Yeah, so true, so true. Time is so precious, and I think so many of us don't realize how fast time flies.

Oh yeah, it certainly does.

And it's, um, 6 months of support. I think we do, can and do considerably move women forward, and we compress the timeline. So what you can achieve by yourself in 10, 12 years of trial, error, heartbreak, give up, uh, you can do it with us in 2 years, in 3 years.

Yeah, yep, definitely, definitely do it, you know. Um, I've got nothing but praise for you, Sami. And yes, you know, maybe I did think, how does somebody so young help me who's so much older? I could be your mother. How do you help me find a relationship? But, you know, you do have a gift, and you've just got this innate sense. And you, every single time I came to you with a problem, you just hit the nail on the head. You got me. And I know that you get every, every woman that you work with. So it's invaluable.

Oh, thank you. That means a lot to me, really. Thank you. Thank you for this. So, well, thank you for your time. Thank you for inspiring the ladies and for everyone who wants to have results and create results like Paula did for herself. I didn't create the results, I just facilitated. She did the work. She did the work. This is really important that women understand this, that the magic is in my clients. The magic is in my clients because they do the work, they don't give up, they invest in themselves, they listen, they do the uncomfortable behaviors and, you know, learn a new way of thinking and new way of being, a new way of talking. So it's me guiding, but actually the magic lies in you all who are able to value your dreams, who are able to value your desires and move forward towards them. And that is a characteristic of my successful clients. You know, they do value their desires much more than, you know, being in their safety zone, which is, I can't do this, this is not going to work out for me. It's a safety zone, right? This way of thinking is a safety zone. And it's interesting how my, my high-achieving clients mostly are able to still hold on to the desire when nothing is making sense. You know, they're still like, I can do this, I gotta do this, you know. And it's, it's not a push energy, it's an inspiration energy. Because sometimes it's not like we need to do more effort. Sometimes we actually need to pick up a journal and write and have that breakthrough about how we are thinking and what is blocking us. So hurrah for you! Enjoy your soulmate love, and I can't wait to have your pictures I know it's coming soon. And thank you so much for your time and for sharing your inspiring story with us.

And maybe one day we'll see you down in this part of the world.

You absolutely will. I'm 30 years old and life is long, I'd like to believe.

Absolutely. Awesome.

Thank you.

Thank you so much, Sami.