Sami WunderCEO, Dating and Relationship Coach For Ambitious Women / 1200+ client success stories / Mum / Wife

Stop Overgiving in a relationship

18 Mar 2025 · 1 min

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In this excerpt from her YouTube video, relationship coach Sami Wunder defines "overgiving" as a dynamic where a woman contributes more time, money, attention, and effort than her male partner. She notes that high‑achieving, successful women often fall into this pattern, which attracts "taker" men and leads to heartbreak, cheating, and disloyalty. Wunder emphasizes that women should avoid overgiving by keeping their partner actively involved, interested, and focused on the relationship, thereby maintaining his attraction and commitment.

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Being overgiving is when, as a woman, you are investing more time, more money, more attention, more effort into the relationship than he is doing for you. And because I work with so many smart, successful women, this often tends to be an issue with high-achieving women. You know, you can do a lot, you can give a lot, and so you end up attracting men who are takers. And in those relationship dynamics, you end up being the overgiver, and that is why you get your heart broken, you find him cheating, You find him being disloyal to you. So if you are a Sami Wunder Diva and you understand the power of keeping your man involved in the relationship, keeping him addicted to you, obsessed with you, keeping him and his focus on you within the relationship, or even in a dating dynamic, then you absolutely must not be in an overgiving position.