In this motivational monologue, dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder explains that attracting a committed, loving partner requires more than dating skills—it also demands a specific mindset. She argues that women who constantly criticize, hate, or blame men are energetically signaling to the universe that they do not want men, which blocks the attraction of high‑quality partners. Using the law‑of‑attraction metaphor of disliking a dish or green apples, she shows how focusing on what you love (e.g., “red apples”) amplifies the vibration that draws similar experiences. Wunder advises women to shift their inner dialogue to love and appreciation for men, seek positive male role models, and do deep inner work to uncover and release limiting beliefs about men. She reinforces her points with personal anecdotes about her husband’s devoted fatherhood and a friend who attracted a multimillion‑dollar husband through vibration. The core message is that a loving, positive mindset is the foundational “energetic shift” that, combined with her dating programs, enables women to attract the man of their dreams.
Chapters
Yoo-hoo! Hello, darling Divas! This is dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder, and I am here to give you one really solid mindset reminder when it comes to attracting your soulmate. I want to talk about the importance of loving men if you want to be able to quickly attract the man of your dreams. Remember, it's so important in the work that I do that we just don't learn the skills to attracting great men, we also the right mindset. It's the marriage of the right skills, which we teach you in our programs, plus the right mindset. What is that right mindset? Well, single women want to be able to love men. We run our webinars and seminars, and I meet so many otherwise phenomenal single women, but when it comes to the topic of love, so many of them are busy hating on men, calling men douchebags, calling men suckers, all men suck, all men are losers, no man wants to commit. Honestly, at some level, I can really empathize with their feelings and with their beliefs, because they're not crazy to be saying that. They're saying that because they've had certain experiences in their love life, certain experiences in their dating life, which have made them come to that conclusion. However, is that conclusion energetically helping you? Hell no! No! Hell no! You really have to recognize that if you are someone who is energetically, silently busy hating on men in her mind, and you are one of those girl gangs who bashes men and speaks badly about men, then you are really destroying your own chances of attracting that wonderful man into your life. Why is this so? Why is this so important? Why am I reminding this, uh, reminding you of this on this weekend? Now, this is important because energetically, when we hate something or we dislike something, what are we telling the universe? That we don't want more of it, right? Think of, think of a dish you hate. Do you ever order it in the restaurant? Do you ever say, I hate fish, woohoo, I'm so glad fish is on the menu? Or do you ever say, um, I hate water, and then you really, you know, you register yourself to go for swimming in the swimming pool? You don't do that, right? Energetically, what we hate is what we do not want in our lives. So if we're gonna keep hating on men, we're telling the universe, I don't want that. I don't want a man in my life. I hate men energetically. I think all men suck. All men are douchebags. Even though we do not want to push men away, we're doing that subconsciously through our mindset, just by vibrating that frequency of hating on men and putting the blame on men. In the Diva World, we're all about loving men. Now, this doesn't mean that there are no douchebags out there. Of course, I don't live in an unrealistic world after helping over 170 of my clients attract great men into their lives. I know there are douchebags, and I know there are those suckers out there, and I know there are men who are players and who don't treat women well, but these are the kind of men we do not want in our lives. And so, we're not going to let our mindset be defined by these kind of men. Again, to give you an example, let's say you don't like green apples, but you love red apples. Your life, when you go grocery shopping in the supermarket, do you pay a lot of attention to the green apples? Do you keep saying, where are the green apples? Oh, look at them green apples, they're so ugly, I hate green apples. Or are you excited about getting the red apples because you love red apples? So you go, hey, you know, I, I love red apples, they're so juicy. I especially love the ones from India, Kashmir, or the ones from Spain. So what we want is what we want to put our energy on. And when we put our energy on what we want, we manifest it way faster in our lives. It's also my job, I believe, to prepare you that these skills work when we have the right mindset. It's so important to develop a positive mindset towards men. It is so important to believe that there are good men, loving men. Look for role models in your life. If you don't have— not everyone is lucky to have good role models, male role models in their lives. Go look for role models in your friends. Maybe your best friend has a really adoring man, a really loving man. Maybe someone in your family, someone at your work. Find examples of what you do want and start vibing that energy in the world, right? Because our energy, our thoughts define our feelings, define our behaviors, and our emotions are really, really powerful. You see, what we're thinking the whole day, if we're busy spitting anger and spewing frustration on men, then we are going to attract the kind of men we don't want. What you'll see is that certain women continue to have the same kind of bad experiences and continue to have the same— attract the same kind of douchebag guys. And that's because their whole thought and energy and mindset is focused on what they do not want. Okay, so let's start healing that part within us. And there's no quick fix to it. That's why you have to do the inner work. You have to do the programs, as we say, because this is a great reminder, but then this needs to be followed up by hardcore work. You need to look at your beliefs. You need to look at where those beliefs are emerging from. Why do you find it easier to hate on men? And how you can start releasing that, and then focusing on the kind of man you do want to attract, the man who loves his woman, the man who's a great father. I mean, every time Chris and I— he's right here, by the way. Every time Chris and I, we go into the playground, I see so many wonderful dads with their little kids. And I'm like, wow, why do we women say that men don't care about their kids? My husband is such a devoted father. And we really want to think of these men who are participating equally in parenting, who are supporting women's careers, and who are so loving and so present for us. And these are the men you want to be able to know that they exist and that they are what you want to attract. And so, I'd like you to focus on that. I'd like you to think thoughts that such men can come to you. Yesterday, I was talking to a friend of mine. He's a multi-millionaire, and he just got married a year ago. He said, my wife, she's so amazing, and she's so hardworking, and so beautiful. She was always afraid that she wouldn't be able to find a guy who is financially well-off and is going to be able to support her, even though she doesn't need it. She attracted this multi-millionaire guy. We were talking, and it was all about vibration. Of course, feminine energy, So, as I always say, the skills are very important, but the mindset is where the fundamental of it all is. So, love on those men. I love you all. If this resonated and felt helpful, give me an emoji, tell me where you're from, and take care of yourselves. Love you. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
