In this YouTube video, dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder addresses women whose partners treat them well but have not proposed marriage. She argues that surface excuses men give (job insecurity, financial concerns, family issues) mask a deeper problem: the man’s uncertainty about the woman and the relationship. Wunder advises viewers to first assess how important marriage, engagement, and children are to them, especially considering age and biological clock. She divides women into two “camps”: those for whom marriage and a timeline are critical, and those who are less urgent about formal commitment. For the first group, she recommends a “tough‑love” boundary conversation that clearly states the need for a decision and signals willingness to walk away if the partner remains non‑committal. For the second group, she suggests focusing on strengthening the relationship using her Love Success Framework and the six pillars of her Elevate coaching program. Throughout, she warns against self‑gaslighting and compromising one’s own needs, emphasizing self‑respect, vulnerability, and the ability to walk away. The video concludes with a promotion for her Elevate program and an invitation to book a strategy call.
Chapters
If he's not proposing, he's not sure about the relationship. But I am here to help and get you the ring. Okay, I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm just going to put this down. Get you the ring because I'm the Get the Ring coach. So if you are in a situation right now where the man you like or love treats you really well, but he's not proposing, and every time you start a conversation about Where is this going? What about the future? Do you have a plan for us? And he gets cold feet, anxious, or annoyed. This video is for you, so keep watching. This is dating and relationship coach Sami Wunder. I have to say this, please, if you enjoy my channel, give me a like, hit subscribe. And now let's talk about how to get the proposal. How do you handle this situation? So the most important thing you can do is understand why he's not proposing. And no, it's not the reasons he's On the surface, men will give you very logical reasons, which will feel very sensible to you. Like, I am not sure about my job. I don't know where we're going to live. I might be changing countries. I'm unsure about my money situation right now. I want to make sure I have the home done. I want to make sure I've paid off the mortgage. I want to make sure that, you know, I've got a new car for us and I'm able to provide for us. And for that, I need more time. You know, the work situation is so stressful right now. You know, the things with my parents and my family. You know, they're not going so well right now. And once that part is done, you know, I will finally be able to focus on you, and we can then talk about the future. So on the surface, all of this feels really convincing. But what you really need to understand what's going on is that he is unsure about you. It doesn't feel good to hear, I know. But I am the champion of bringing out the truth, because the truth is empowering. Avoidance is not. If you refuse to hear this, if you get triggered by this, stop watching this video, which is possible. You are still not allowing yourself to approach the problem from a different perspective. And this perspective is, he is not sure about you. Because when a man is sure about you, nothing stands in the way. Trust me on that. So if we are to assume that men just know whether they are going to wife you or not, and they know that pretty early on, and you don't need years and years to be test-driven, then what can you do about this situation? So if you were in ELEVATE working with me, and please don't try this alone, because these kinds of conversations have domino effects. Here's how I want you to think about your situation. The first thing to ask yourself is, how important is being married and being engaged and having children for you? Now, not every woman is the same, not every man is the same, not every relationship is the same. And I've been doing this for 11 years, coached 20,000+ women at this point, you know, in 90 countries. So I know that There is no one magic formula that fits all relationships. And so ultimately, the right solution for you is the one that feels aligned for your truth. And the most important question you can ask yourself is, how important is sticking to the timeline for me when he's not proposing? Now, what I have seen in ELEVATE is that sometimes men will get you into an exclusive relationship with the promise of marriage. So they will agree with you explicitly Yes, the plan is within the next 6 months to get married. Yes, I do really like you, and I'm working towards the long-term vision. And because you have verbally agreed to these promises, you will get into exclusivity. You will start sleeping with him, give him girlfriend benefits, get attached. And then lo and behold, the timeline comes. Nothing is happening. Nothing is moving. And that is leaving you really insecure, and rightfully so. Like, you shut down all your options based on that promise. And based on that agreement, trusting that agreement would be pulled off, but it's not being pulled off, and he is, at some level, going back on his word, going back on his promise. So sometimes I also have women in Elevate saying, Sami, how can I self-regulate my emotions? How can I not get so needy? How can I be more relaxed about the situation? And that is the wrong question. That's you gaslighting yourself, because if the ring, the baby, the family is really important to you, and now you're starting to readjust your plan because Mr. is not sure, and Mr. has cold feet, and Mr. is not really convinced that he's ready to propose, then you are gaslighting yourself, you're gaslighting your needs, you're abandoning yourself. And guess what? Men don't respect women like that. So it is not attraction-enhancing, and it will definitely not get you the result you want. Being the good girl who is swallowing her desires. So the right way, the Wunder way to approach this, if you were being advised directly by me, sitting on a call with me in Elevate and asking me this question, what I would say is, how important is this to you? Now, if you are in your mid-thirties, early forties, I imagine the timeline is really important for you. This is because the reality of the biological clock is just there. If you want to have kids, If you want to have a family and you want to do it in a traditional, respectable way, where you are first engaged and then you have a child, then yes, the timeline does matter. And then it really is about understanding that if that is truly the thing you want, then you have to have a tough love conversation with this man. Now, how do you have that conversation? I'm going to give it to you at the end of this video, so keep watching. But there's also another alternative reality that emerges when I ask women this question, which is, how important is the baby to you? How important is marriage to you? And some women will say at this point, you know what, not that important. I'm 45 years old, I'm 48 years old, I am looking for a true connection, a true commitment. I am looking not to have kids. I am already with a man who has kids. You know, they can be my stepchildren in the long run. But long story short, you don't feel that urgency. And the reason you don't feel that urgency for marriage proposal commitment is because that is a desire you possess, but it's not so time bomb threatening on your head. And in this scenario, I don't think that you need to have a tough love conversation with this person. I think in this scenario, if he's not proposing, it actually makes a lot more sense to work on this relationship. Because remember, we started the video by saying he's not sure about you. He's not sure about the connection if he's not proposing, because men propose when they feel certain that you're the one forever. And if for whatever reason he's not there yet, if you're in the category of the woman who doesn't really care about marriage, family, and you are happy to enjoy this beautiful thing you have with this man, Then keep enjoying this beautiful thing with this man, and then you probably use my Love Success Framework curriculum and Elevate the 6 Pillars to strengthen your relationship, you know, and have more attraction, more polarity, more boundaries, more feminine energy, magnetism in your connection with your man, which is what is going to ultimately give you the ring in an exclusive connection. However, if you belong to Camp 1, where Marriage is super important, the ring is super important, babies are super important. Maybe there was a timeline discussed that is not being honored. Then you have to enter the tough love zone conversation with this man. And that would look like something to the lines of, you know, I should know my options because this was on the table. If you're not sure about it, it would break my heart, but I would rather know So that I can go out there and find a man who's willing to fully commit to me and enjoy building my dream of family and kids and marriage versus sticking around and waiting. Okay, so some format of this. My recommendation is, I know it's very tempting to take advice from YouTube and then go implement it in your relationship. My advice always is, don't try this at home because these conversations have domino effects. And domino effects look like you say this, It's going to start a reaction in him. He's going to respond a certain way. And if you really want the result that he steps up and he feels inspired to step up, you have to know how to hold your boundary. You have to know how to not recoil on your resolve. You have to know how to hold the tension, and you have to possess the ability to walk away. So this is not a performance, a theater, a drama, a tool we are artificially using to get something out of a guy. This is a woman respecting herself and her needs beyond everything else. And that requires so much courage, that requires so much vulnerability, that requires the ability to walk away from anything and anyone, no matter how much you love them, if they are not aligned with what you want for yourself. So in the Wunderworld, in ELEVATE, you know, I always tell my clients, of course you love a man, of course you love a man, but you cannot love a man more than you love yourself. So at some level, this has to be a fair deal. A healthy relationship means both people are winning. If he's only winning, if he's getting all the girlfriend benefits without offering you what makes you win, then it's not an aligned relationship. So I hope this helps. Of course, this is a big topic, and this is a taster of the kind of deep, nuanced work we do inside ELEVATE. If you are feeling We are enrolling now for the next edition. There is zero pressure to join. If you book a strategy call with us, the link is in the description below. We're very happy to tell you about the program and see if it's the right fit for where you are in your love life right now. Lots of love, and I'll see you again soon next week. Bye!
