Why You’re Still Single (As An Intelligent Woman .. )

Today, let's talk about why modern dating feels so hard, especially for ambitious, strong, and successful women. I'm going to be giving you my top reasons that I have seen over the last 10 years, working with professional, strong, successful single women, and revealing to you what may be holding you back from bringing in a provider-empowered masculine man. Now, let's face it, the most important reason why a woman like you could be struggling in dating and finding a provider, empowered masculine man, is because you have worked so hard on yourself, and you really have a small pool of men to choose from. I mean, if you are a top 5% league woman, you've educated yourself, you look after your body, you look after your appearance. Now, of course, in the dating pool, you are going to be looking for a man that is at least offering you that much or more. Obviously, the woman who is the full package has a smaller pool of men to choose from. But in today's video, I want to talk about some subtle signs and reasons why, even from that small pool of men, it is difficult for you to attract a good man. Maybe you find that even when you meet good men, they don't last. Even when you do go out on dates, you don't get asked out on the next date. Even when you do attract a good man into your life, nothing sticks. You don't get the commitment you want. What is going on here? Let us explore. So the first reason why I find that a lot of strong, successful women are struggling in dating, struggling to find the one, is because They are winging it. I mean, just ask yourself, if you're serious about any goal in your life, whether it be your health, your body, and your fitness, or it be learning how to drive, learning how to dance, you always hire an instructor. You always hire a trainer to help you achieve that goal. But a lot of amazing women, when they come to me, they tell me that they never had a love coach. They never hired support in this area of their life. And what this means is that most women are still just winging it. And this means you just show up on the dates, you don't know how to show up, you don't know how to talk, you don't know how to connect emotionally with men. And of course, that means you don't create the kind of results you desire. Now, this is not to say that you don't know how to talk or you don't know how to connect, but if you haven't done the work to understand how men and women are different when it comes to the world of romance, and you're just hoping that your skills from your business and your career, your socializing skills, and your charisma is going to be enough in dating. That is not how it works, because romance is about polarity. Romance is about masculine and feminine energies. And if a woman is not aware of how she's showing up and she doesn't really have a plan for how she's showing up, she's not going to get results. Now, reason number 2 why modern dating may feel hard for you as an ambitious and successful woman is because you don't know what you want in a man. I mean, I still remember reading this powerful idea from the Alice in Wonderland book, where Alice is lost and she asks the Cat, which way should I go? And the Cat says, where do you want to go? She's like, I don't know. And the Cat says, then it doesn't matter which path you take. And I think this is such a cutting example for dating, because in dating, if you don't know what kind of man you're looking for, if you've not defined your deal-breakers, your non-negotiables, your minimum standards, how do you want to feel around a man, then the idea that you're just going to attract him and he's going to fall from the heavens is a very flawed idea. It's like throwing spaghetti on the wall and hoping it sticks, and it doesn't stick most of the time. So it is so important to really do your work, to really understand what is it that you're looking for, so that you can attract it. And of course, I help you do that inside of my coaching program, ELEVATE. Reason number 3 why modern dating feels hard and why you still may be single is because you are not really having a process for meeting good men. So often I hear from single, ambitious women, I don't know where to meet my kind of guy. I know what I want, but I don't know where to find it. Now, again, you always have a plan for your business. You always have a plan for your fitness. What about a plan for your love life? Just like you're strategic in other aspects of your life, you have to be strategic about putting yourself out there and being visible to the right men. This includes both offline and online platforms. Offline, where do I show up organically to meet good men? Online, do I have a process for the dating apps, or am I one of those women who just puts any photograph up on a dating profile, Bumble and Tinder, says some generic information about yourself, and then hopes that good top 5% men are going to be attracted to me? It doesn't work like this. Imagine just uploading any kind of random CV on a job portal for the best job offer, and then hoping you get selected. So it's super important that we take our process seriously, that we actually have a process for how we show up on the apps, for how we attract the kind of man we want. And if you don't do that, it's a bit like point number 1, you're just winging it, and winging it is not going to get you the results you desire. Reason number 4 that modern dating feels hard for you as an ambitious single woman is because you have not spent the time doing your inner work. Now, of course, this terminology inner work gets thrown around all the time, but really, what is inner work? Inner work is self-awareness. Inner work is about understanding, what are my values? What are my needs and wants in a relationship? And most importantly, What are my wounds and triggers in a relationship? What are my insecurities that are going to trip me up and come up when I like a guy? If you haven't done the work to familiarize yourself with your own emotional wounds and triggers, the likelihood is that even when a good guy comes in your life, either you'll push him away because you have intimacy fears, or you will have a major emotional negative response to something that is going to push him away. So it is super important that if you want a good man to be attracted to you and to stay in your life, that you spend time, energy, money learning the skills, working with an expert to really get to know yourself and be in a ready position to receive the kind of man that you want to receive in your love life. Now, reason number 5 modern dating feels hard for ambitious single women, and it feels overwhelming, and it feels like, I don't know where to start, is because you have still to learn how to embody your Feminine Energy around men. Now, if you're anything like me and the thousands of ambitious, successful women I support, including many celebrities, many top-level entrepreneurs and CEOs, I can tell you that there's so much masculine action, doing energy that is required from us women, especially in our careers and businesses, especially if you're working in corporate America, Then it is almost guaranteed that when you show up on dates, you're still in your masculine energy and you're not in your feminine energy. And the truth is that the kind of man you want, which is a provider man, a top 1-5% man, a wealthy man, a man who treats you well, that kind of man is not attracted to masculine energy. He is looking for a feminine embodied woman. It is so common, especially in my clients that I support in my ELEVATE program, that they are still showing up up in their boom-boom masculine energy. They're asking the guy out, they're calling men, texting men, revealing their feelings about the guy too quickly, and then they wonder, why does the guy disappear? It is so worth it to do your work on feminine energy. I did the work on feminine energy and it changed my life. It is the reason why today I can run a multi-seven-figure-per-year business while still being a feminine woman in my marriage, while still being a loving, nurturing mother to my kids. And that's because I can switch from masculine to feminine and from feminine to masculine as required. And nobody taught me these skills. I wasn't taught these skills in school, in university, not even by my own mom. I had to learn these skills. And you have to learn these skills if you want to change the way you're showing up in your love life. And if you actually are serious about attracting an empowered masculine man and attracting a healthy relationship and building a family, which is what we help you do, by the way, in our Elevate program. If you want to figure out the details, just click the link below and book a free consultation with us for those of you who are serious about achieving this goal in your life. Now, let's talk about the next reason you are still single and modern dating feels hard for you. It's because you have not worked on healing your relationship with men. You see, a lot of us have been hurt by men. It could have been in our childhood where we had emotionally unavailable fathers. Critical fathers, unloving fathers, or fathers who were just super passive. So we had to step into our masculine in order to get through life. Or it could be like your more recent experiences with men that are negative, either as a teenager or even in your more recent dating experiences. Now, when we keep collecting negative experiences with men, what happens is we start to hate men or judge men as a whole, as a category. And we don't even realize it because it's almost like a default response. You just want to protect yourself. You think all men cheat. You think all men lie. You think no man wants to commit. You think men just want sex. And when you have these limiting beliefs, what happens is that you keep manifesting them in your dating experiences because you go in there on your dates feeling guarded, feeling competitive, having walls around your heart. And then, of course, you manifest men who are emotionally unavailable. You manifest men who confirm your beliefs that all men are losers, douchebags, and they're not to be trusted. If you want to attract a healthy, empowered, masculine man, if you want dating to feel more fun and easy for you, you have to heal your relationship with the opposite sex. Because whatever we judge, we push away. So it's so funny how we can intellectually say, Sami, I am ready to attract my husband. I'm ready to attract the love of my life. Help me. What do I need to do? Where do I need to sign up? How can I work with you and elevate? And at the same time, energetically, when we're in front of a guy, We would be like, men are not to be trusted. Don't think I'm ever going to rely on you for anything. I'm super independent. I know men cheat. I know what men are all about. So it's so funny that our subconscious energy could be pushing men away, whereas our conscious cognitive energy could be saying that, I want a great man in your life. So you have to do that healing work. You have to learn to fall in love with men again. You have to find good examples of men, fathers on playgrounds, men who adore their wives. My husband is a great example of a man who adores his wife. Makes great money, is very masculine, empowered, is a great father to his kids, is a great lover. So if Chris exists, then your person exists, and you really have to do the work to shift your relationship. And of course, if you're asking how, that is not something that is covered in the scope of this video, but we'd love to be able to help you, perhaps even welcome you inside ELEVATE. So make sure you book your free consultation call with us on samiwunder.com/contact. Thank you so much, Sami. Now let's look at the next reason why modern dating may still feel hard for you as a single ambitious woman, and that's because you have poor boundaries. Now, poor boundaries simply looks like being a people pleaser, being a man pleaser, avoiding conflict, not having the ability to say no or respect your feelings when a man has hurt your feelings, or ask for what you want. And what starts to happen when a woman has poor boundaries is that she will start to get resentful of men. She will think that men take advantage of her. She will think that men use her. And again, this deeply and negatively impacts your relationship with men and dating as a whole. And this is why modern dating may be feeling so hard for you, because you feel like, oh my God, whenever I go out on a date, the guy just wants to make me split the bill. The guy just wants to make me go to his bedroom. The guy just wants push his way on me and come over to my house, even though I don't want it. Knock, knock. Well, girl, you have the power to say no. You must look after yourself in dating. A man is not responsible for your welfare. A strange man that you meet is not responsible for looking after you. You are responsible for looking after you. You have to work on your boundaries. You have to learn to say no so that you can show up with an open heart, so that you can show up in your Feminine Energy, knowing that you have your boundaries, always present to look after you, to look after yourself, to take care of yourself, and to make sure you're safe. Luckily, we teach all of this inside ELEVATE. So if you're asking yourself, how, how, how? Book your call with us today, and a trained senior coach from my team will tell you more about how you can work with me and my team of coaches inside ELEVATE. Now, the next reason why modern dating feels hard for ambitious women and why you might still be single is because you are still choosing men based on chemistry versus long-term compatibility and values. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't ever want any of my clients to be with a man that they don't feel physical attraction for. But let's just say physical attraction alone is not enough. And so many women are not able to say no or walk away when they see red flags, in a man that they feel physically attracted to. So this could also be the reason why you keep attracting the wrong men. This could also be the reason why you keep attracting players, Casanovas, toxic men, narcissists, because you are so singularly focused on physical attraction and not enough focused on long-term compatibility, match of values, and ensuring that you are treated well in the equation. So if this pattern is going on for you, it's a really toxic pattern, and I am so confident to say that we have helped thousands of women change it, and we'd love to help you change it as well, if you can admit to yourself that, yes, you're doing this. You're going for a lot of chemistry, attraction, physical connection, but you are undermining the importance of how somebody treats you and whether or not you are aligned with this person in the long run. The next reason for why dating feels hard for you and why you still may be suffering, hurting, and feeling overwhelmed in dating is because you find no man is good enough for you. Now, if no man is ever good enough for you, it could be a signal that you have intimacy fears. In ELEVATE, I talk about intimacy fears. Intimacy fears are when we intellectually say we want to attract somebody, but we always keep finding fault in every man we meet. And that is because we are afraid of true intimacy. We are afraid of true love. It could require inner work from you because it's possible that you judge yourself really harshly, and that you're really unkind to yourself, and that you expect a lot of perfection from yourself. So you project that energy on men. You expect perfection in men. You expect them to do everything correctly. You expect them to never make a mistake. You You expect them to never get it wrong. You only want men to be suited, booted, and smelling good all the time. You judge a man if he shows up in a sweater, and he's not good enough. So it could be that you're keeping love away and pushing men away because you still have intimacy fears. And you can see how all of these points are linked to each other, because when a woman has intimacy fears, it also means that she's not done the inner work. If she's not done the inner work, then she's not very self-aware of how she shows up. If she's not self-aware of how she shows up, it's quite possible that she still might be showing up in her masculine energy around men. So all of these points are interlinked. And if she's showing up in her masculine energy, it is also quite possible that she has a hard time asking for help, because if she's more in her masculine avatar, asking for help is a sign of weakness in her world. Which brings me to the next point, why modern dating feels hard for ambitious single women. Is because you are afraid of asking for help. Maybe within you, there is some kind of belief system that asking a love coach for help means something's wrong with me. Asking for help from a love coach for my love life means I should be ashamed of myself. So many women can figure this out on their own. They just go out there and they attract a man. Why should I be asking for help? Is something wrong with me? And I think it's so important to reframe this. It's so important to understand that asking for help in any area of your life, including your love life and your dating life, is actually a very smart and efficient move. Smart women hire love coaches. Smart women ask for support because they understand the incredible value of their time. I mean, what is there to be proud of if you go from 33 to 38 to 45 struggling alone, by yourself, never asking for help, always getting your heart broken, always choosing the wrong kind of man, always choosing emotionally unavailable men, never really knowing how to show up on the dating websites, never really having a plan or process for how you show up on dates and make a deeper emotional connection with the right kind of man. But then you didn't ask for help. There are no medals of honor for not asking for help. Nobody's going to clap for you when you're 45, when you're 50, When you're 60, well done for never asking for help in your love life. So this is also a masculine way of being for ambitious single women, and you really want to break out of it if you want your dating experience to start feeling more empowered and pleasurable. On that note, I promised you that I'm going to help you make dating more fun and pleasurable as an ambitious single woman. So the best thing you can do from this video is to wake up and understand that if you said yes to any of these reasons, there is support available. There are solutions available, and that solution is, first and foremost, my incredible 5-video Early Dating Mastery Series. You will find the link to the Early Dating Mastery Series in the video description link below. Make sure you sign up. It is worth $200, but I am giving it to you completely free, but just this week. So do not waste a single moment. The transformation you want, the family you want, the amazing man you want to attract lies on the other side of you taking action. You have to stop being passive and quiet in your love life. You have to move forward and take the next action step. If these videos are helpful for you, if they speak to you, if they empower you, you are more than welcome to set up a call with one of my trained coaches. After making this free experience for yourself and deciding for yourself if you want to take the next step with us. If you're new to the channel, make sure you hit subscribe. If you are a returning member, make sure to hit like, give me a comment, tell me what your biggest takeaway from this video was. As always, make sure to take the next action step by subscribing to the Early Dating Video Master Series. I'll see you in the next video.