In this live‑streamed coaching session, Sami Wunder addresses a client’s intense desire for closure with a toxic ex‑partner. She first validates the client’s feelings of anger and the urge to retaliate, then reframes “closure” as the act of becoming disinterested and disengaged from the ex. Wunder advises against sending a confrontational letter, recommending instead that the client write an unsent letter for personal catharsis and then store it away. The core strategy is to ignore the ex, cease all communication, and redirect emotional energy toward attracting a high‑value, respectful partner. Throughout, she emphasizes feminine, high‑value behavior, drama‑free living, and the importance of focusing on future goals. The video concludes with a promotional announcement for her “Diva Dating Toolkit,” a paid package of ebooks, affirmations, and dating‑strategy resources, urging viewers to purchase before the price increase.
Chapters
Hello there! This is Sami Wunder, your fiercely successful, fiercely loved dating and relationship coach for the modern woman who just doesn't want a career but also an amazing relationship in her life. And I'm here to talk about a question that I get very often about the need for closure from an ex. So I'm gonna read out this question one of my clients sent me, and I decided to come here and connect with all of you and answer it live. If you're watching this, make sure you say hi and let me know where you're from. It would be great to connect with you. Alright, so here's the question. Sami, I feel a very strong and intense need for closure with my ex. There are so many things that I now want to say after learning about your work. I understand how badly he treated me, and I feel like writing him a letter and letting him know just what a jerk he has been and how I am so grateful that he's my ex. Should I do this? Should I not do this? Please help me. My desire to write him and slap him through my words is really strong. All right, so sweetheart, Without taking your name, I want to say I really understand how you feel, okay? And I want to just quickly throw light on why you're feeling this way. You're feeling this way because you feel wronged, and after doing all this work, my programs around how to be a high-value woman in the world of dating, relationships, and marriage, you're probably now able to see and look back at your relationship and see very clearly that he was not treating you well. And so you feel angry, and you feel this urge to get back at him and tell him what a jerk he's been. Now, this reaction basically comes from, you know, when we've been hurt by someone, our instinct is to hurt them back. And so that's where you are at now emotionally. You wanna hurt this man back, the man who hurt you. Yeah. Now, as you can imagine, when you look at it this way, someone hurt me and I wanna slam it back on them, or give it back to them. This is not really a very powerful place to come from. This is not a very feminine place to come from. This is also not a very high-value and emotionally mature place to come from. So now that you're doing this work, I want you to get another perspective around this whole situation and this need for closure that you feel so strongly and so intensely right now. Yeah? So here's the thing, my dear. Closure is your disinterest in him. Closure is you not being interested at all in a man who doesn't treat you well, who doesn't know how to respect and value you in his life. So this entire need for closure, this entire need for writing him a letter and letting him know what a jerk he is, is not needed. Because what you can do otherwise is to just let this man slide off from your life. Never look at him again. Never answer his texts again. Don't communicate with him. Don't take his calls. Ignore him. Closure is your disinterest in him, and that's the biggest, the most powerful, the most dignified thing you can do as a woman. You've truly moved on, haven't you? And you are able to look at your past with so much more perspective and so much more clarity. Now, let him see this side to you, not by you writing him a letter, throwing accusations at him, and telling him what a jerk he's been, but actually moving on, actually ignoring him, not dealing with him, not dealing with the drama. Because come to think of it, if you write that letter and you tell me he's toxic and he's never treated you well, what do you expect back in return? You're just going to get another letter blaming you, throwing accusations at you, and the drama will continue, right? And we feminine, high-value women, we don't want drama in our lives. We want clear-headed men, men who know how to take action, men who know how to take initiative, men who know how to treat us well in our lives. So, your biggest letter that will never be sent, by the way, your biggest message to him is when you truly move on and you're not interested in him anymore, emotionally, in any way, good or bad. And you give yourself permission to attract your true Soulmate. You give yourself permission to be the amazing woman that you are, to show up in the world of amazing men, and let them court you, let them love you, let them give you all you desire. letter that you really want to write, you can write it, but you don't want to send it. It's always a very healing and purging kind of an activity to put all our thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper, but then store that paper with yourself. There's no need to send it because when you send it, you actually create more of that drama energy in your life that was representative of your toxic ex. And you don't want that energy anymore in your life, right? You are clear-headedly going for that amazing relationship where you feel safe, you feel cherished, you feel loved. You know the man cares for you, he's there for you, he takes initiative, he takes action. So your biggest message, my dear girl, is to write that letter, keep it in your closet, keep it in your inbox, don't send it, and actually just— Write it. Be disinterested in every way in this man. Your disinterest is the most powerful and the strongest message that you can send to a toxic ex who never treated you well. Okay? And hopefully what's gonna happen is, when you attract your amazing soulmate, an amazing man in your life, you're just gonna look back at this letter and then you're gonna burn it in the fire, and you're not gonna feel any intensity or any strength, any strength of emotion with it. You will not feel attached to this anymore. So focus, focus on going forward versus looking backward and sending all this energy to a man who just doesn't deserve it. The secret to success in life is to invest all our energy in building the new versus looking at the old. So just focus your energy on what you do want to attract in your life, and remember that sending this man any more energy is really not worth your time, it's really not worth your effort, and that your disinterest in him is the strongest and the most dignified message that you can send him. I hope this was helpful. The client who sent this question, I hope you can make time to watch this livestream. And for everybody else, if you're watching live or even on replay, make sure you say hi and let me know where you're from. There are so many new followers on the community. I would love to connect with you personally. Also, I just want to make an important announcement that my Diva Dating Toolkit, which contains my ebooks, my affirmations, and a lot of amazing bonus reports on how to write your online dating profile that gets you lots of matches and lots of attention from amazing men, and how to meet men more organically, and how to, you know, be on a date, how to be in your feminine energy on a date, all those amazing bonuses come as part of this Diva Dating Toolkit, and the price is going to rise in the next 2 days by €20. It's right now €47, and it's going to increase to €67. So I just wanted to give a heads up to my entire community that if you're serious about attracting your Soulmate, dating in your Feminine, dating in your high-value energy, then you want to go grab the toolkit now. And it's an amazing value toolkit with a lot of information that is going to help you navigate dating in a non-stressed, non-urgent, high-value, and Feminine way. And make sure you're part of the Wunder Diva community, which is where all the action happens, really. All right, lots of love to everybody! I'm gonna leave the link to the Diva Dating Toolkit on the title of this video. Bye! And if you have any questions, just post, and I will come back and answer them when I have a moment. Bye, ladies! Love you all! Bye!
