018 Lauryn Wendus Fighting Healing and Living with Lyme Disease and Chronic Illness

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The biggest one that comes to mind for me is on my Living Past Lyme website. It's by Malcolm Gladwell, and I think it's from David and Goliath. It's, "The act of overwhelming odds will produce beauty and greatness." I think, I don't know if that's word for word, but the idea behind it really always stuck with me. When people are faced with those overwhelming odds that seem insurmountable, there really is another way or, you know, an alternative that maybe it wasn't what you're planning for your life, but something that can come out of it. You know, a silver lining can be present amidst, you know, a really difficult situation.

Congratulations, Lyme Fighter! Today you had the courage to open your eyes and face another day. Welcome to Lyme Voice. This show's purpose is to help you put the puzzle pieces of Lyme into place. Each episode is designed to inspire, educate, and encourage you on your Lyme journey to wellness.

Together we will fight.

Together we will heal.

Together we will live.

Here are your hosts, Aaron and Sarah Sanchez.

Well, hello friends, welcome to Lime Voice. Today's episode is a really good one. We're looking forward to talking to with Lauren Windis about finances and her personal Lyme struggle in the workplace. But before we do, I have— today we have with us Sarah as usual. So this weekend was a big weekend for us, huh?

Yeah, it was.

We had your youngest brother's wedding.

Mm-hmm.

And we were very involved.

Yep.

I cooked a lot of green chili enchiladas and made a big batch of green chili sauce, which is very spicy for those of you who don't know. And if you ever get a chance out here, I'd be glad to give you my recipe because it's an excellent one.

It's amazing.

Yeah, even my Hispanic aunts agree that I have good chili, which was a major achievement in my book.

Yeah.

So yeah, so we had a really busy weekend.

Yeah, we did have a really busy week. It was literally 6 days of nonstop family events and planning and organizing, and we had people come in town, and it was really fun to be a part of though. And especially for me, because my youngest sister, when she got married 5 years ago and I was in her wedding, I— my goal was to just not suck.

Yeah, to stay standing.

Yeah, and it was a fun wedding and it was beautiful and, and I could— I was just trying not to suck because I was in so much pain and I just felt so poor. I just kept telling myself, try not to suck, try not to suck.

Yeah.

And, you know, most people didn't see that side because it was very internal. But for me now, 5 years in between one wedding and this wedding was a lot more labor-intensive. We had to do a lot more setting up and cleanup. But I still, I ran strong. I, I ran, I did, I really ran strong and I felt good and I needed to rest. And, and when that opportunity came and I kind of felt like I'd maybe pushed myself a little bit too hard for a couple of days, and I did, but I could recover within a couple hours instead of a couple of days, right?

Yeah, I think by day 6 you had pretty much been done and you needed a good 12 hours of rest. Yeah, but what an improvement. And the, the reason we mentioned this is to encourage those of you out there who are fighting and making the choice to heal. The living will come. And we, you know, it was way harder than we thought it would be to get you back to the point where we could go through a wedding like that. But you know what? It's sweeter now. It really is. It made it more enjoyable. We enjoyed our time. So, you know, be encouraged by that. If you keep working on your protocols, if you're taking care of yourself, you will be able to live, and we can encourage you in that.

Yeah, and I'm thrilled about Lauren being on the show today because she really embodies the spirit of Fight Heal Live in the sense of recognizing that in some capacity life is not going to go forward as it used to. And then proactively taking steps to take care of herself, but not just herself. Like, she's still in the process and she's wanting to be a help and a blessing to the people around her that are suffering. And so I just think she has a great perspective on adjusting to life with the Lyme ingredient.

Yeah, yeah. And it's really interesting to hear her story. She actually was in high finance. She had gone to school for it, graduated with a degree in finance, and was well on that path in her life, and then was struck with Lyme and had to be— had to discover a new normal. In fact, her body changed, her mind changed, where she wasn't able to contribute in the way she did. So we really just kind of go through some of those struggles, and if you're in the workplace at all, you'll probably identify with this.

And there's a learning curve, and she talks about this. She went to school for business and has a business degree, but when she couldn't go get a standard job and she needed to be an entrepreneur and figure out how to work from home on her time frame, she didn't know how to run a business. Yeah, because it's not typically part of what gets taught at colleges. And so I think even for us to hear her Her struggle with trying to figure out different ways of income really resonated with us because what we used to do is no longer viable and feasible. And even for me, I ran a real estate brokerage with my brother for years, and I don't ever anticipate going back into that. One, because my brain is a bit scrambled and I'm pretty dyslexic when it comes to some things. But also because I want to do something more meaningful.

Right.

And, and so she's along— she's in that journey of reinventing yourself, re-exploring, or exploring maybe for the first time those like deep levels of creativity and entrepreneurialism. But it's a journey and it's not instantaneous.

Yeah. Yeah, she does do the poop to fertilizer attitude, and she, she took her circumstances, she took her new way of thinking and turned it into something and, and started planting crops and started working her fields, working her talents. So I know you guys are going to enjoy this episode with Lauren.

Greetings, Lyme Voice listeners. We are so glad that you're joining us for today. And today in our online studio, we have with us Lauren Wendis. You can find out more about Lauren at LaurenWendis.com. But Lauren is going to convey her Fight Hill Live story to us and how Lyme has impacted her life as a as a person being impacted in their early 20s. And so Lauren, are you ready to put the puzzle pieces of Lyme into place?

Absolutely, Sarah.

All right.

All right. We're so happy to have you today, Lauren. I think— did we connect on Twitter? Is that where we connected?

Yeah, that's where I first came across you.

Right. Yeah, and as soon as I saw your website, I was very excited to actually speak to you. Because you have walked kind of the same path that many of us have, and even in particular for Sarah and I, you've kind of adopted the same attitudes as Sarah and I have. So I, I'm really excited to hear your point of view and to see how you've overcome your Lyme issues. I am really excited about this interview. I hope that all of you out there will enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed even just reading over her website and drawing the inspiration from her attitude.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, and I think Lauren, you embody really what we were going for as far as taking extremely difficult situations and trying to make the best of them. And not everybody can do that.

No, it's really challenging, you know, especially when your entire life gets turned upside down. There are those moments where, you know, you have to kind of catch your bearings a little bit and figure out, about, all right, this is a situation I'm in, and what am I going to do with it, and how am I gonna, you know, make the best of it.

Yeah. Okay, so Lauren, let's get into the fight story. And we say here at LymeVoice that fighting is a mindset. Um, and as you know, so many people with Lyme and chronic illnesses are in bed, and so for them, fighting might be making a phone call that day. Tell us Tell us about your Lyme story and how you came to a place where you decided to really fight.

All right, well, I'll start from the beginning. You know, I was pretty young. I was 23. I was in the corporate finance world working a lot of hours and all of a sudden just got really fatigued. But at the same time, you know, when you're working 40 to 70 hours a week, you're thinking, oh, I'm just tired. And, you know, it started very subtle. And, you know, I went to the doctor a few times, just kind of like, you know, I don't feel quite right, but didn't know what was wrong. And things started to build up over the next couple months where it went from just the fatigue to swollen lymph nodes to aching joints, trouble walking up flights of stairs, and things that clearly, you know, were just not normal for me. And there was one moment I was driving to work trying to make a meeting in the morning and my vision went blurry while driving, and that was sort of the turning point of, you know, something is definitely not right with my health. And after that point, you know, I started taking it a lot more seriously and looking for answers as to what was wrong with my body. And from there, it still took another probably month to month and a half to actually get the Lyme diagnosis. And when I got that diagnosis, to be perfectly honest, you know, I thought it was gonna be a week or two recovery. I was like, oh, no problem. I was in the hospital at the time and I was like in and out of incoherence and vomiting and still trying to email my boss at the time at the same time saying, you know, I don't think I'm gonna be in tomorrow, but the next day should be no problem. You know, like thinking like, you know, it wasn't gonna be this really huge deal. And I didn't realize, I think there's kind of a balance where, you know, you have to go through the process of accepting what your body is telling you and kind of balance that with the fight of your mind wanting to, you know, almost overcome it too quickly and also really acknowledging what's going on and how you need to heal. So, you know, from that point, I was very sick. Once I really got on the antibiotic treatment from the get-go, I still— I kind of went backwards a little bit before I went forwards, for sure, which, you know, everybody is very familiar with who has Lyme. And, you know, I was incoherent. I had trouble spelling. I had trouble doing, you know, third-grade math. I couldn't even have to put two sentences together. I had my mother caring for me during the day, my boyfriend at the time caring for me at night. You know, it totally turned my life upside down. I wasn't able to drive, couldn't care for myself whatsoever, which I never would have imagined in a million years would happen to me at 23 years old. And that's really not something that when you're not planning for it, you know, it takes you a while to realize like, okay, what am I going to do with this situation? And I do remember a couple of defining moments that you might qualify as the fight moments of realizing, you know, I need to figure out a way to kind of take back my life and figure out how I'm going to survive. So, you know, from there, I really thought, well, first of all, I had to kind of regain, you know, the brain fog issues and the incoherence and the cognitive symptoms were really my biggest issue in the beginning. I would stay up. Once I was getting a little bit better, I was up at like 2 o'clock in the morning downloading like third-grade multiplication apps. I'm like trying to at least get some semblance of mental coherence back. I did that for quite a while, which is a very humbling experience. I was in finance before, so I can't imagine what my previous employers would have thought of that. I—

we're laughing because, uh, we have two second graders and I cannot— it is so hard for me to help them with math. It's ridiculous.

Yeah, it's, it's sad but true. It really, you know, it's nothing I would have ever expected to have that much of an effect, um, you know, on my mind. I think that was one of the hardest things for me is when, you know, you don't— when you lose part of your mind and kind of your mental capacity as well as your physical capacity, you have those really tough questions of like, who am I? Like, what am I doing with my life? You know, you kind of use those things as an identity, and when they're stripped away from you, you have to really figure out who you are at this very core level.

Right. So tell us this, Lauren, you knew right away that something was wrong and you actually got a diagnosis pretty soon, right?

Relatively soon. I mean, it was definitely— it was misdiagnosed early on. They originally thought it was lymphoma. Because of the swollen lymph nodes and, you know, some misleading blood work at the time. So it definitely wasn't, you know, I didn't have the bullseye rash. I didn't catch it, you know, right away by any means. However, you know, I guess compared to other people who don't catch it until years later, you know, I did catch it relatively soon, but definitely not soon enough. By the time, you know, they did figure out what it was, it really had taken over my entire body. Right.

And where— what state are you in?

I'm in Connecticut. Oh yeah, the home of Lyme.

Yeah. So, okay. Yeah, because that makes a big difference if people around you know what's going on.

You know what, it's really funny, um, people around here are, you know, are definitely versed in Lyme to an extent, but the chronic Lyme or the Lyme that isn't caught right away really still isn't, um, as well understood as it should be considering the state state that I live in. I guess I could put it that way.

Huh, that's interesting.

It is. You know, I've really found a mix on that end, which, which is surprising. I, I know before this experience on my end, I wasn't familiar with Lyme to this extent. My mother had been sick with it for many years early on in my life. However, she wasn't While she was very sick, she wasn't able— she was still able to hold her job and wasn't, um, you know, was able to kind of manage on some level. Whereas in my case, because I had kind of the neurological and the, the, um, the mental aspects of it, I, you know, it really took away everything from my life. Um, so I think that was a little bit different. I hadn't really heard of people, you know, not being able to work at all or not being able to I want to have their life back within a reasonable time before this happened to me. So, you know, I guess I can understand it. It's just, it's unfortunate because it is becoming more and more common.

Right.

And Lauren, I think you bring up a good point as far as chronic Lyme and then the initial infection and those. I think you are right in that the chronic issues are the ones that are still being dissected and discovered and understood. And, you know, that's kind of been one of our goals with Lyme Voice is to speak to other people who have dealt with the chronic issues to hear firsthand because there isn't a lot of information out there. There's a few doctors that are Lyme literate and that are getting there, but for the most part, I think your story and stories like even ours are so important for those around us because it shows what the doctors aren't going to tell you. It shows what you're not going to find on most online places and that sort of thing.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think there's also— I know part of the reason that I'm starting to do, you know, more media appearances and things like that myself is also to really kind of be a voice for people in the situation, just from the standpoint of, you know, letting others know that there's people out there that have gone through something similar and giving them hope. I've I've done a number— I've done a few events here and there when my health is willing, and I've had people who, you know, probably have good intentions but come up to me and tell me to my face, you know, you'll never get better. And I think that's a really— it's definitely a jarring comment to receive on my end. And, you know, I would like to kind of be— well, my health isn't 100% better by any means yet. You know, I am very positive that through this community, you know, we can provide support for each other and, you know, have that kind of hopefulness to the illness as opposed to kind of the dichotomy of either, oh, you'll be sick forever, or, you know, it doesn't exist. I think, you know, there needs to be some compassion there.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think even for Sarah and I, um, we, we, when we had the diagnosis, when we had the understanding of what we were dealing with, that made it so much more doable. You know, you just understand what you're dealing with, and even to hear other stories going along with it just helps understand and know and acknowledge that others are going through this. You don't feel so isolated because, you know, in our case, we ended up self-blaming. We just blame ourselves. Well, it's 'Oh, it's our fault for not doing this.' And when really, when you hear other stories, you, you're like, 'Okay, I'm not abnormal. I'm not weird.' It is a normal thing.

Yeah, it's people literally fighting for a chance to survive and live a decent quality of life.

Yeah, and it really can, you know, the thing about Lyme too is it really can happen to anyone. You know, it's not necessarily, you know, a lifestyle -based illness. I mean, that's, I think, one of the things that I'd really like to, you know, raise awareness for is that, you know, I wasn't— I almost wish I had, you know, a fun story. I was outside, you know, hiking the Appalachian Trail or something, you know, and got bit. But, you know, I really— I have no idea how it happened to me. It was just kind of one of those fluke things that totally changed my life, and it really can happen, you know, to anyone at any time.

Yeah.

So how long has this process been for you at this point, from your diagnosis until now?

It's been a little over 3 years, which seems like a very long time to me in some regard. Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah, I believe it. So what have those 3 years looked like for you?

The 3 years have definitely had their share of ups and downs. I think one of the things I'd like to I noticed, I did an interview with some high school students a couple months ago, and one of the girls was like, "Oh, you're like very positive. It doesn't sound like it was that hard of a journey sometimes." I'm like, "No, that's not quite accurate." It has been a really rough 3 years. The first year was incredibly humbling to really not be able to take care of myself whatsoever. I could barely take a shower on a good day. I mean, that in itself is something that is definitely a very humbling experience. And then the last 2 years, I have been able to do gradually more things on my own. However, I really have not been able to go back to normal life of, you know, I can't always keep appointments, I can't keep meetings. My stamina is just not, you know, reliable enough for me to really have that kind of normal work life and normal social life and things like that. Everything is still kind of like, okay, well, see how I'm feeling in the morning. And yeah, I'm sure you're very aware, take it one step at a time, you know, trying to do podcast interviews from, you know, my bedroom. So I mean, while things have improved over the 3-year period, yeah, it's, it's definitely been difficult. And I think my fight has been to figure out what I could do during that time. So kind of once I got through I got through that initial phase and I kind of had my wits about me a little bit again. It was like, "Alright, I've tried to work traditional kind of part-time job with set hours twice and failed miserably both times just because my body wasn't strong enough." That in itself is another sort of very humbling experience, especially if you come from the corporate world and you're used to being able to, you know, work when, you know, however many hours you need to work to get the job done. And then, you know, you try to do a very simple task for, you know, 2 or 3 hours, and it's like, it's just such a stretch, right? So, you know, that has been difficult. And then in that time, it was like, okay, I kind of need to get to a point with myself and realize, like, this is where I'm at, and like, what can I do with where I'm at? And I think that's kind of where I switched into figuring out what can I do with my time. And slowly over those 3 years, I worked to publish my first children's book and start my businesses. That has given me a sense of— I think has given me a little bit of the sense of identity back as something to do and something to contribute, and also really getting involved in trying to help others navigate this road along the way.

Awesome.

Yeah, and I want to read a quote off of your website, and I felt like you really articulated it well. You said, after trying basic part-time work but still unable to sustain the required schedule without my conditioning— without my condition deteriorating. And I think that's literally what we all face. I am capable of going out and doing things a couple of days a week, but if I have a bad day, it really does put you in this position that you are unreliable if people need to count on you.

Yeah, it's a really tough situation to be in, you know, when you're kind of— exactly, when other people are expecting you to be reliable and to show up. And it takes kind of, I think, an internal emotional toll as well to feel like, you know, you can't fulfill this like fairly basic requirement to show up on time for something that you wouldn't have thought twice about before you had gotten sick.

So yeah, yeah, and most people don't understand that. I had a job that I loved with an adoption agency, and we have two adopted kids, and I learned a ton, and all I had to do is like keep track of my receipts and turn in a report at the end of the month. And it was— caused me so much anxiety because I kept doing it wrong over and over and over. And I'm like, this is so dumb. This is like probably third grade skills. I couldn't do it consistently. And then I— then it caused issues for other people, and I eventually resigned. But yeah, it's a whole new world when you can't trust your body.

Yeah, it really is. And I think, you know, all the work that I've done thus far from home is really, you know, a totally different environment. I think what I, I've come to acknowledge is that, you know, when you're sick and still trying to kind of carry on some semblance of a life, you kind of manipulate your life to work around, you know, what you would like to do or what you can do. So, you know, you might go out or I might go out and do an event or something, but what people don't see is that, you know, before that I'm resting for, you know, a number of hours. And when I come home, I'm, you know, probably crashing and sleeping. And I'm, you know, making my schedule try to fit around that as much as possible. And even with so much manipulation, it doesn't always work out, right?

Yeah, we feel your pain.

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I've had the help of a number of practitioners along the way. So I do work with a Lyme literate MD as well as a naturopath who— awesome. Yeah, the naturopath is really the one who kind of— I credit to saving my life because he was the one that found it in the blood work to begin with and kind of gave me that sense of like, it'll be okay. From the beginning, like, you know, it's going to be a little bit of a challenging road, but like it will be okay. And he's always really had that, you know, medically he's been, you know, really great with different supplements and herbal remedies. And then also kind of just having— I think it's really important to find someone to work with who can kind of, you know, doesn't take away your hope. I think that's one of the most important things to find in a practitioner.

That is a great point. Yeah, because it is, it is— attitude is so huge when you're going through these, these moments. If you wake up and you don't have the courage to face that day, that's a problem, you know, that, that's gonna make it a really hard day. And to be able to go to a doctor and they just shrug their shoulders and ignore you, that doesn't help anything either. You know, you're absolutely right, you know, when, when Sarah actually found a good Lyme literate doctor that gave her hope and said, okay, we can, we can actually attack this disease and not just heal the symptoms, or not just cover up the symptoms, but actually attack the disease and make progress that way. It made a huge difference. So for you listeners that are out there and are listening, I have said it many times, and Lauren will probably agree with me, if you can find someone that's first of all Lyme literate and encouraging, is someone that's going be a team member instead of just, you know, your dismissive type of doctor that unfortunately so many of us have encountered. That is so important. That's a first step towards your healing is just finding a good practitioner.

Yeah, and you bring up a great point about using a naturopath because for me, I started making good breakthroughs when I started seeing alternative treatment physicians, and I unfortunately didn't have that for my first several years. And so that's— as we talk through healing, healing being a choice, obviously we cannot choose whether or not we get infected, but making those healthy choices that push us further down the road towards health. So within our illness, we can make healthy choices that propel us towards health. And one of the things that I thought was so fascinating is you said that after you went through Lyme treatment that you began having the ability to use your left hand.

Yes. So tell us that story. Um, you know, I had so many neurological symptoms with Lyme, everything from kind of balance to just, you know, obviously the, the mental aspect of things, and then One day out of the blue, I go to one of my doctor's appointments and the receptionist, of course, asks you to sign whatever paper you sign at the end. She's like, "Oh, I didn't know you were a lefty." I was like, "Oh, I didn't either." From there, I went home and I really wasn't feeling well that day, so I couldn't even comprehend what just went on. I was like, "All right, I'll just kind of table that until later." I was like, "All right, that's kind of strange that I would just kind of start using my left hand out of the blue." So decided to explore it a little bit. I was like, all right, I can take this as a positive. It's not a bad symptom, just an odd one. And from there, I was stuck in bed for the next few weeks. Just, I really wasn't having a rough couple of weeks and ended up just kind of sketching and doodling and writing these little rhymes. And my cat Oliver has been like my constant companion throughout. And when you're stuck in bed all day and you're looking for inspiration, your cat's right there. One thing connects to another. And I ended up writing these children's stories based on or inspired by Oliver. And they're just these silly rhyming stories. We published the first ones. My mother, she was caretaking for me at the time. She comes over and kind of asked me what I was doing, how things were going. And I happened to mention I wrote these rhyming stories. And she gave me a little bit of an odd look because it wasn't something that was really in my repertoire before Lime. I had sought out an illustrator, but I kind of had a vision. I could sketch a little bit, but I was nowhere near like, let's make this an official illustration for a children's book. I had grown up seeing my mother sketch when I was younger. I said, you know, do you think you could give this a try? She kind of laughed it off at the beginning. It was her birthday in a couple weeks. I said, you know, I think I'm going to order you a watercolor set off Amazon. I was like, for what? Like, to try and do these illustrations? And from that point forward, it just kind of became this project that was really like the silver lining to take kind of the focus away from everything that had kind of gone awry with my illness and not being able to work. And it just really became this happy focal point for us to work on. Yeah. And it's been a huge blessing in that way.

Wow, that's awesome. So how long ago did you publish your first book, children's book?

Um, I published in the end of November. So I was originally looking for a publisher, and then I was looking for a graphic designer, and I didn't know how this is going to become a reality. But it had sort of gotten to a point where I had worked with my mother and kind of made her do all the illustrations, and she's like, Lauren, like, did you just make me do all the illustrations and now we're not going to do anything with the book? So from that point, I kind of just started exploring and figuring out how I could make this book into a reality. And this woman who was an independent publisher out of Vermont had reached out to me and offered to publish the book for me. And at this point, I kind of already had a vision of I wanted it to be a hardcover book and things like that. But she just had that— I think there's a lot of power similar to like when a doctor gives you hope of having like that one person who has some credibility to their name believe in you, that kind of gives you enough courage to believe in yourself. And from that moment, that's really what she did for me. And she's, you know, I'm still in touch with her now, and that was really a huge gift. And it kind of gave me the courage to say, you know what, like, I've come this far, like, I want to see this through to completion. And I raised a little bit of money on a GoFundMe campaign and got the first couple hundred copies printed. And from— it was kind of a test market from there. I was like, all right, like, we'll see what happens, see if people like it, you know. I really have no idea. Like, this was something, you know, I did kind of in bed and wasn't really thinking— I don't know, I wasn't thinking it was going to be a business at the time. It was more of just this project to kind of keep me hopeful and keep me active when I could be. Um, and from there, you know, I had a pretty good holiday season, like sold through those first 100 copies. And now we're kind of in the, the second phase of kind of trying to expand the book and get it out there to more people. And it's been— we're in some hospital gift shops now, and it's been kind of cool because it's been this project that's been something that was really happy and, you know, just silly and kind of lighthearted for me during a difficult time that, you know, now is hopefully bringing a little of that happiness to others.

That's really neat.

Yeah, it's so cool. And so let's back up just a because we kind of— you were telling us how you got up to this point where you're, you're producing and releasing a children's book. Now most of us, including myself included, that is not an easy task. You went from recovering and literally saving your life from Lyme to launching a business. Tell us a little more. I mean, you told us a little bit, but what were some of the drives behind that? Why did you I mean, there was a lot of things you could have put your mind to. Why the book? Why did it— what were some of those thoughts?

Well, the thought process had started really before the book. I was trying to think of ways that, you know, I could do something with my life from home. And it wasn't initially the book. I, you know, I'm also into essential oils. So I had kind of dabbled in that a little bit and tried to make a website. And, you know, I had never made a website before. I had never— I did graduate, you know, from college with a business degree, but they don't necessarily teach you how to start a business just from that. So, you know, I had a little bit of knowledge, but I really didn't know much about online or how to make things happen. So I kind of just started experimenting little by little. And the children's book, like I said, like, if you had asked me, like, is this going to be the business that you do for Lyme disease, I would have probably laughed at you. But I mean, I guess, like I mentioned before, it kind of came to this point where my mother had kind of completed the last illustration and it's like, okay, well now we have some illustrations and the text. I guess it's almost a finished product. I just kind of took it one step at a time. Had learned a lot of the online, how to make a website skills. And then from there, I really had a very non-existent budget because Lyme is incredibly expensive. Doesn't impact your financial life. So I ended up spending the next chapter was learning how to format a book with Adobe InDesign and that kind of thing, and got some great tips from some graphic designers and just ended up doing it myself, which was— it was not easy. It was definitely not easy figuring out the process, but at the same time was rewarding. And I, you know, I really am glad that that it worked out that way, even though it was not what I could—

not what I planned. Yeah, that's so cool. So I mean, if I heard you correct, you, you kind of— it kind of fell into it, but at the same time you said earlier that it, it becomes something to give— look forward to. Did you find that it was therapeutic almost, taking this project?

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's had its moments of, I think Um, from sort of the physical standpoint, learning new things is much more difficult for me than it used to be, um, with Lyme. So I think in that way it was almost therapeutic that I was sort of challenging myself to like think about things differently, but it wasn't, um, you know, in a stressful way that the worst case scenario it didn't work out or I couldn't figure it out. Like it was just on me. Like, you know, when you mentioned before when you were trying to work part-time, you know, your abilities for the day kind of impact everybody else's schedule. And this was something where, you know, I thought, okay, like worst-case scenario, I totally screw up, like it's just on me, you know. It kind of took that pressure away, and it was therapeutic to be able to focus on something or feel like I had, you know, somewhat of an identity back. I've noticed with Lyme, you know, I became I would go to an event or even meet somebody in a waiting room at a doctor's office or even, you know, somebody meet somebody at the convenience store down the street or something. And, you know, you introduce yourself and I was introducing myself as like, oh, the girl who has Lyme. And I was like, okay, this like, you know, this is probably like not the best thing that like, but I didn't know, you know, when you don't have a job and, you know, you can't really get out much, how do you identify yourself? So it was therapy. Unique in that way for me too, to say like, oh, I wrote this funny children's book about my cat. Like, it was a better introduction than, I have Lyme disease, nice to meet you.

Yeah, no, that's a great attitude, Lauren, because it is true. Like, I mean, even though I don't— I don't have Lyme, Sarah has it, but I still identify myself as a Lyme patient even though you bore the brunt of it, even though And, and I hear you're like, it is tiring to tell that story, um, you know, like when you introduce— when someone—

it's tiring, but because it encompasses and has impacted every area of your life and it affects your everyday decisions, it, it is a part of like who you are then.

It is. And I, I just have found that like, and it still is a part of who I am, I think, you know, it will always be a part of my story, but I think it's important to try to, you know, rewrite your story a little bit as far as, you know, I'm, you know, yes, I have Lyme, but I, you know, I'm also doing this, or I like this, or, you know, I think Lyme impacted my life in such a way that, you know, it took away all of the hobbies that I used to have, and, you know, I couldn't do the things I used to do before. So it really was this moment of like, oh my gosh, like, I don't even really know, you know, what is like my purpose? What am I, what am I doing with my life besides, you know, just constantly trying to get better? And I think sometimes being able to kind of just to just put it, it's still part of my life, but it's not the first thing that I mention to everyone on the street, I think is probably a healing aspect in and of itself a little bit.

Yeah. So during the live portion, we like to talk about how living is an outcome, and you've already kind of walked that line of choosing to kind of take back your identity and create this new What are some of your life goals now that have been altered by Lyme?

I think one of my biggest life goals is I would, I would like to be able to get my business to a probably more prominent level than it is now. And I would really be able, like to be able to help others in this situation. Like you said before, you know, publishing a book to other people seems like way out of their league, or starting a business amidst illness seems like a huge stretch. And it is really tough, and it was really tough for me even though I had some, you know, prior business experience. But it's not impossible, and it's not impossible to have some semblance, you know, of a life amidst illness when you're still recovering. And I think it's really important you know, to try to give people a sense of empowerment amidst really difficult circumstances. So I would kind of like to, you know, share my story with others to kind of inspire others to move along those lines. And I'm also starting another website, A Different Kind of Work. So similar to my story where, you know, my mother— so my mother, she's had Lyme in her life, and she also had a very severe broken leg from falling down a flight of stairs. For about a year. So between the two of us, between, you know, my illness and her broken leg, like, we were not like the ideal, you know, startup co-founders here. You know, but we still were able to make something of it. And, you know, it was not perfect. There were days where absolutely nothing got done. There were days where, you know, we both— I had to sleep during the day and then she wasn't feeling well or whatever, that, you know, we worked a little bit at at like 10 o'clock at night. I mean, things were not smooth, but at the same time, like, I think it really did make a difference for us to have something to kind of look towards the future with. And I think that's important for people as they move through their own lives to kind of— even if they're, you know, they may have Lyme, they may have an illness, or it might be somebody who, you know, just needs an alternative work for— if they're caring for a loved one who's sick and they can't work a traditional job, or, you know, there's a lot of different circumstances that I think apply, right?

Yeah.

Yeah. And I do— I so appreciate your attitude with this, Lauren, because, I mean, we identify with you at the same time. We don't want to be known as this disease. We don't— we're not satisfied with where we're at. We're still fighting and picking up our ahead. And, you know, as those of you have been listening today, I want you to walk away with that. You know, Lauren and Sarah and I, we have been presented with a big pile of manure and crap.

Yeah.

And we— and it's up to us to take that manure. And Sarah and I describe it, and next week we're gonna get into a little bit more with Lauren Lauren on some of her business. But really what I wanted to highlight is you turn your crap into fertilizer and then you plant crops with it. Then you produce something of value from your mistakes. And I really—

or illness.

Or illness. Yeah. Yeah. What, you know, like, whatever the pile of crap that— or poop that is handed to you can be used. And I love to see your attitude through all that, Lauren, thank you so much for being part of Lyme Voice today, and stay tuned because in the next episode we are going to continue on with our discussion with Lauren and go into some of her business ideas for Lyme patients. And I'm really excited for this part. You guys are gonna love this. I hope that it gets your wheels turning. Before we go though, Lauren, is there a quote quote that has helped you through your Lyme journey that you've really held on to that you might want to share with our client or a customer or, excuse me, our audience? Thank you.

The biggest one that comes to mind for me is on, um, my Living Past Lyme website. It's by Malcolm Gladwell, and I think it's from David and Goliath, and it's the act of overwhelming odds, um, will produce Beauty and Greatness. And I think, I don't know if that's word for word, but the idea behind it, you know, really always stuck with me that, you know, when people are faced with those overwhelming odds that seem insurmountable, there really is another way or, you know, an alternative that maybe it wasn't what you're planning for your life, but something that can come out of it, you know, a silver lining can be present amidst, you know, a really difficult situation.

Awesome. Awesome. Thank you so much, Lauren.

Thank you. Hey, wasn't that a cool episode? I really enjoyed talking with Lauren on this one. What a fighting spirit she has. Hey, one thing I wanted to tell you guys about— this is a way you can not only help support LionVoice but Lauren and her good work. By going to lionvoice.com, go to our sponsors sponsors page, follow the link to Oliver Poons, and right there you can purchase this book for holidays, for birthdays. It's a great children's book. I know you guys are going to really love it, and it goes to a great person and a great cause. Follow the link in the show notes to Oliver Poons, and you can purchase your book or many of the other products that they have there. These are all products made here, right here in the United States. I know you guys are gonna really love this website and what Lauren is doing. One other thing you guys could do for me, if you could go to either iTunes and Stitcher and give us your rating, hopefully a 5-star one. Also, if you could write your review, we'd really appreciate it. Thanks again for joining us on Lion Voice. Way to keep fighting. You guys are awesome. Keep up the fight. We'll catch you you next time on LymeVoice.

Disease is contrary to life. Therefore, wherever disease exists, life must also fight to exist.

Good job fighting, Lyme fighters! Keep it up. We'll see you next time. LymeVoice contains general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice and should not be treated as as such. Okay, Lincoln? Okay. The medical information on LionVoice is provided as is without any representations, warranties, expressed or implied.

Okay?

Okay. LionVoice makes no representations or warranties in relation to the medical information on this podcast. You must not rely on the information on this podcast as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional health healthcare provider. If you have any specific questions about your medical matter, you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. And for you, you consult your parents, okay?

Okay.

If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition, you should seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this podcast. Got it, What are you thinking? Got it!

From the creators of Lyme Voice and Disappearing from Society comes a brilliantly simple idea, but this time it comes as a book. Imagine a world in which birds can talk like people. You'll get a bird's-eye view of life with Lyme disease as one bird family must must unite to overcome the obstacles of life with Lyme disease. Guaranteed to make you laugh and make you cry. Written in a way that helps you articulate the losses you are experiencing as a household while simultaneously empowering you to keep fighting. Little Bite, Big Trouble is available today at Amazon.com.