020 Noelle Janka Healing & helping others Fight Heal Live!

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I think a huge part of what's made living better is being okay with asking for help. That, that's something that was for years just out of the question. Yeah. Or I would do it and I would cry before I did it and cry after I did it because it just felt, you know, I felt like how could I ask my friends to come bring me dinner if I couldn't do anything back for them, or You know, how could I ask for things if I wasn't capable of doing anything for anyone else? And it took years to get over that. I mean, years and a lot of work and a lot of therapy and a lot of coaching and a lot of, you know, my partner telling me.

Congratulations, Lyme Fighter. Today you had the courage to open your eyes and face another day. Welcome to Lyme Voice. This show's purpose is to help you put the puzzle pieces of Lyme into place. Each episode is designed to inspire, educate, and encourage you on your Lyme journey to wellness. Together we will fight. Together we will heal. Together we will live. Here are your hosts, Aaron and Sarah Sanchez.

Hello friends, welcome to another episode of Lyme Voice. We're so glad you're here today. In fact, we have a great episode for you today. We are going to be talking to Noelle. Noelle is an awesome girl that we met out in New York, and it took a couple months for us to hook up, but we're glad we did. She has some really cool things to say and some really cool projects that she's working on. But before we go there, I wanted to tell you a little bit about what's going on personally with Sarah and I. This week we have a new member of the family. We adopted Hercules. Hercules is a— what is he, babe? He's a—

he's like part Labradoodle.

Yeah, he's a part Labradoodle, part—

his mom was a Labradoodle mix, not an actual Labradoodle, but a Labradoodle mix.

And then I don't know what his dad was.

Uh, Australian Shepherd, some Shepherd. Yeah, Australian Shepherd. They think he was a stray. They want— anyway. But he is a cutie. He's 7 weeks old. And the reason we mentioned this is this is a first— one of the first times that we've been able to undertake a puppy, you know, since Lyme, post-Lyme.

Yeah.

And we, you know, before we were at— we was no way we could even handle taking care of a dog. And it is so relieving and so freeing, and we still feel like real people that we actually can undertake The adoption of a dog.

So yeah, because it's, it's not just the dog, it's being able to have the house picked up so he doesn't chew on everything and being able to clean up after him. And you know, for me, for so many years, I just had to give up so many aspects that I feel like this is kind of, you know, we got Nate enrolled in soccer this year, which was huge. He loves it. And that was, I felt like, a really big win. And Getting the puppy is another really big win because we're at a place where we're able to handle all that goes with that.

Yeah.

And I didn't feel like I could handle very much for a long time.

No, we could not. Yeah. Yeah, puppy was out of the, out of the question. And one of the things we're going to do with him is we understand a little bit better on this side of treatment and this side of chronic illness that the connection between dogs and animals or pets and animals when you're sick is huge! And it's a really good tool for recovery! And it's been proven with veterans that come home from war. It helps with PTSD. It helps with, you know, there's a lot of things! So what we're going to do is we're going to be training him to be a—

An emotional support dog!

Right! And hopefully he'll have You know, maybe we can lend him out to some people and stuff like that. I don't know.

Yeah, I think he has the right temperament. He's real mellow and laid back and a snuggler. Big snuggler. Because for me, we have a little Yorkie who literally was in bed with me for years and years, and you know, he was a real comfort. He was totally. So we're hoping this little guy does the same thing. So to Noel, let me tell you about Noel. Noelle Jenka is a life and leadership coach for social changemakers and individuals with chronic illness. Through one-on-one coaching, she supports individuals in seeing what's possible and moving past the point where they normally stop themselves. Having lived with Lyme disease off and on for more than a decade, Noelle is well-versed in different healing modalities, the challenges of America's healthcare system, and what it takes to thrive with ever-changing physical limitations. And what she's going to go on to explain is a support program that they have developed. And what's different about this is it's not only discussing the modalities for the body, it also addresses the mind and soul. Yeah, it also addresses the mind and soul, or the psychospiritual side of healing. And she has— they're doing a pilot program. It launches November 8th, and you can find out more information about her by going to lionvoice.com and clicking on the show notes. Hercules is done recording.

Yeah, he's done. He probably needs to go potty. Thanks again for joining us for Lion Voice. I know you guys are going to enjoy this episode. Hi folks, I wanted to tell you about Audible. Sarah and I love Audible. We use it to listen to all the books. I'm an auditory learner, so I love to just listen. I get distracted too easily when I'm just sitting there reading. There's too much going on in my life anyway, what with the podcast and full-time work and all the other things that life throws at you. Basically, the only time you have is in your commute. So all these books that Sarah has been telling me, you got to read this book, I just do it on my commute and I can do it while I do my chores. If you want to get this offer, all you gotta do is go to www.linevoice.com, look for the button on the right-hand side, it'll say get your free Audible download. Once you sign up through Audible, you will get your first month free, your first download free, and after that you get billed monthly. And, and you know, there's a lot of times where I'm counting down the days, you know, money's a little too tight, can't spend another $20 on a book, but at the end of every month you get one free credit and you can use it for whatever book you want. So hope you guys enjoy Audible as much as Sarah and I did. Thanks for helping support LionVoice. Hey friends, I wanted to tell you about Bluebird Botanicals. They produce and distribute high-quality CBD oil. From seed to production, they watch every single step very carefully. We really love their product. It has become a staple in our, in our supplement cabinet.

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It is a must-have for us. And you know, with supplement companies, it's so important to know the company that you're using.

Yeah, to know the integrity of the company.

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Products that were effective. Effective and safe and—

They do what they say they do.

Yeah.

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Welcome, Lion Voice listeners. Very excited to have you with us today. Today we have Noelle Jinka. Good morning, how are you?

Great, yeah, it's a beautiful day in Boston, which we're getting fewer and fewer of, so I'm excited.

Nice.

How about you guys?

It's a beautiful day here as well. Today is— we actually went outside and took a little video blog because This week is Balloon Fiesta. Have you ever heard of that?

No.

It's the largest hot air balloon event in the world.

Wow.

So every year what happens is the weather gets just right and it makes what they call the box. So on each level, air level, it goes in different directions. So what the balloons do is they rise up, take one direction, fly a distance, come back, and they can essentially basically land where they started if they navigate the winds. So it makes it ideal. So for the last 35 years, I guess it's been the mecca of balloon fight. So, um, what did we have, 700 balloons launched this morning? And so the whole sky is just filled with them. Well, you have to— I'll post that video and you can check it out in person. But, um, it's really fun. And so like even this morning, the balloons are flying over, the kids are in the backyard screaming at the gondolas, and they're close enough they can wave back and talk to us. And it's amazing. It is incredible. It's just like— it's— well, it's the most photographed event in the world. Yeah, like more photos come out of here than anywhere.

But I believe it.

We met Noel, uh, back in at Rhinebeck, New York, in— at the Omega Institute.

Yeah, when we were attending the Living Well with Lyme Disease conference.

And it was an immediate bond, I think. I mean, I saw what she was doing and I said, "Oh, I'd love to have you on our show because it fits so much of our same— Sarah and I's same attitude." But before we get to that conversation, Noelle, are you ready to put the puzzle pieces of Lime into place?

You bet!

Alright! Alright!

So our first question is: Noelle, give us a brief introduction of who you are and are you still living in New York? Are you in the New York area?

I live in Boston actually. Yeah, I'm from Northern Virginia outside of DC and that's where I think I contracted Lyme in the first place.

Okay. So tell us your story. How'd you end up with Lyme? What's your journey been like so far?

Yeah, so I think I actually got it when I was 16 in high school. My mom sort of helped me put the pieces together 'cause it was kind of like I was sick for so long and like other Lyme folks, entire sections of my life I don't remember. People tell me things and I'm like, oh really? Cool, I forgot about that. And so my mom said that it started with a really bad summer flu, and then after that it was like my knees hurt all the time, and then I couldn't read anymore. We went to the eye doctor and my eyesight was perfect, so it didn't make sense why I couldn't read anymore. And it was kind of like little thing after little thing, and then, you know, even though the county that I grew up in, they now say 1 in 3 people there have Lyme, at the time I couldn't get a diagnosis. They said that I had chronic fatigue. They told me to take prenatal vitamins and, you know, I was getting ulcers in high school and they told me that I was stressed out. So in retrospect it all makes sense, but at the time it was just a lot of little annoying things. In about, I think 2009, I went and my mom said, "I really think this is Lyme. Let's go get treatment in New York." And so went to, you know, a non-traditional doctor, got Didn't do antibiotics but did a series of other things and we stopped going because it just seemed like they were taking advantage of me at a certain point. So didn't do all the stuff that, that they wanted, but I think some of it helped. And, and sort of between 2009 and 2012, I sort of was operating under the fibromyalgia diagnosis and was just trying really hard to eat really well and exercise a lot and was actually able to put it into remission and for a year was living like a normal 20-year-old, you know, partying all the time, working really hard. I was running a bike advocacy organization on top of my regular 9-to-5 job, like totally loving life and then I got in a bike accident and I got a really bad concussion and then all the Lyme symptoms came back.

Gosh, we just hear that same story so often.

Yeah.

Yeah, you know, the trauma comes, boom, more Lyme. And then decided to really take it seriously, find a doctor that could give me antibiotics. I was able to work with Sam Donta, who's actually featured in the Lyme documentary Under Our Skin.

Oh wow, awesome.

Yeah, great. Awesome guy. Took antibiotics for 21 months and I'm not totally out of the woods yet, but I'd say I'm at least 75% of the way there and getting better every month.

Wow.

Feeling pretty optimistic and excited about life right now.

So how long would you say you've been in remission then?

June is probably when I stopped having to spend entire days in bed.

Oh, so this is still really fresh for you. Okay.

Yeah.

Cool.

That's just a huge mile marker, not having to be in bed.

Yeah, right?

I know, because I make my bed now about like 5 days out of the week, and I, I love it because it means I'm not going to be sitting in bed and I have the strength to make my bed. So simple, but it's not when you've been in bed for years. Yeah.

Oh yeah, it's a huge game changer.

Yeah, well, and it's even— it's in those little moments that you do some of your most decisive victories, where you wake up and you say, you know what, I'm gonna make the bed today and that's gonna keep me out of it, or, or whatever the case may be. I think we have to celebrate the effort on each one of those, you know, even if you don't make it through. At least we made our bed 5 days out of the week.

Yay!

Yeah, I'm all about the little celebrations for sure.

You have to be, you have to.

Yeah.

So, okay, this is all really fresh for you. You're getting out of bed, you're in your early 20s.

Is this— I'm 30 now, actually.

Okay. Oh, so this is a long process for you.

Yeah, it's been, it's been a long journey.

Okay, so a total of how many years?

So, Lyme brain math, uh, 14 at this point.

14, yeah. So that's very similar to Sarah's journey. She's, she's about, uh, what, 16 or 17?

Well, now I'm at 19 years. Oh, but yeah, yeah. Okay, so what happened? And we, we typically talk through Fight, Heal, Live, and, and we'll get to that, but even for you, you came to a realization that Okay, if I want my life, I'm gonna have to fight for it. I'm gonna have to do something different. Tell us about that process and really what triggered it, if you can remember.

Yeah, no, I mean, I think so. It really got real after the bike accident. And I was working at Harvard and I really loved my job. And it got to the point where my boss would be talking to me and I just had no idea what she was telling me. Process it. I would try to take the notes and it just, it was so frustrating that I wanted to cry and I felt like I couldn't really see straight and that's when it got, that's when I decided that I really needed to take it seriously and that was when I started telling people that I was sick. Ah. Because I hadn't had to for almost 2 years, you know, I mean I still had some challenges and I had to work harder to take care of myself but I didn't have to tell anyone. And that was such a game changer for me, was just almost like coming out as a sick person. And I don't think that the Lyme is who I am, but it's such a huge part of who I am that it just felt really good to be completely honest with people about it. And I quit my job and I did a yoga teacher training, which was a really transformative, beautiful experience. And sort of worked my way through some other jobs and eventually found, like I went, I actually got a job and they offered me this really great management position and I came back and I told them, like, I'm really excited about this, but I need you to know that I'm sick and I'm scared that I'm not gonna be able to do it. And so they worked out this really awesome arrangement where I got to work 4 days a week.

Oh, nice.

And it didn't really matter which days I came in. So if I, one week it was, Tuesday was the day that I couldn't get out of bed, that was fine. And then I worked Monday and then Wednesday through Friday. And this is when I was on antibiotics and it eventually got to a point where that just wasn't even possible anymore and made this hard decision to go live with my family and just not work for 8 months. And that was a pretty big game changer for me that not only just took all the stress out of my life, which I think was really huge, but all the struggle. There was just no more struggle. And my mom was cooking for me and that was awesome. And I did a ton of yin yoga, and that's actually when I got a coach for myself. And through coaching, got this beautiful new idea of what I wanted my life to be like. 'Cause I had these dreams for a long time of like, I need to have a flexible schedule. If I'm gonna be sick forever, then I need to have a flexible schedule. But how do I do something that I love on a super flexible schedule? And so coaching helped me see what was possible for me and that I could actually do it. I could actually have everything that I wanted even as a sick person. And that was such a beautiful experience for me. And that's a huge part of being the happy person that I am right now, even though I'm still working my way back to 100%.

That's so neat. Okay, tell for the people listening who don't know what yin yoga is. Explain that.

Oh yeah, good question. So it actually comes out of Chinese medicine, so different from other yoga which comes out of India. And it's the way that it was taught in the class I took in Virginia anyway, it was a lot of you hold the same position for usually 6 minutes at a time and you get to use a ton of props. So instead of just using child's pose, you're like using child's pose with 6 pillows and blankets and you're just kind of like, "Ah." And so it's almost like a meditation in these different positions and depending on the sequence, like one class could be around cleansing the liver or one class could be around just general restoration. And so it's just a very nice restorative practice.

It really is. And I have been doing that same— the yoga studio that I go to, they only offer it once a week, but it's been amazing. And I think for me, when— and I had no prior experience with yoga, I had never done it, but it was so huge for me because mentally I was so confused. I'd been in so much pain that to just sit and hold a position for that length of time and for me it was so healing because all I had to do was breathe through the position. And so you really did, I felt like even like within my hips and different parts of my body, I was able to push myself to these whole new levels where I could heal and restore because of the detoxing that took place during those classes. And I just think it's one of the most valuable healing opportunities that people have.

Oh yeah, absolutely. And there were actually several other people in my class that had Lyme, so—

Oh wow!

We had this nice little community of, you know, "How you feeling? Feeling better after class? Cool. Which doctor are you seeing?" It was really nice.

That's really fortunate. It's so hard to find a helpful community because sometimes even— Sarah's had trouble finding a local community here. For her to be a part of because the ones she's found have been really kind of negative sounding boards instead of a healing place.

And I couldn't— emotionally, I couldn't handle it.

And there is a point because there is a lot of controversy and we should be mad about some of the things that are taking place within our medical system and with our insurance. But when you're in that actual fight, it didn't help her heal.

Yeah, I just felt like it took energy that I didn't have. I needed things that gave me energy, and it took.

Yeah.

I hear ya.

That's awesome. And do you keep in touch with those, those other classmates?

Actually, the teacher who teaches at that studio is going to lead the Lyme support program with me.

Oh!

And she teaches yin, and yin has been a huge part of— she has Lyme too. It's been a huge part of her healing process as well.

Well, I was going to say this towards the end, but since we're kind of on the subject, why don't you tell us about what you and Sonya are doing together?

Yeah, so Sonya and I met in a traditional support group run by National Capital Lyme in Loudoun County in Virginia when I was living with my family. And we found out eventually that we both— well, not only both had Lyme, but we're both yoga teachers, both coaches, and both really wanted to create an alternative to the traditional support group. I remember talking to you about this, Sarah.

You know, there's—

you know, a lot of people live in places where there just aren't support groups. Yeah. And then you have the thing where people are too sick to come.

Right.

You know, I went to one once. I drove all the way to D.C. to go to one, which was an hour away. Session was 3 hours long. By the time it was over, I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna drive home. I was totally exhausted, even though it was a really good experience and there was a lot of good sharing and I met great people. It was just totally exhausting. And that actually, that one session was when I was like, there has to be another way. The other thing is Sonya and I just were discussing how similar to what you were saying about a support group. There's so much suffering in a support group. And for a lot of people that, you know, sit and share— I don't know what you want to call it— that situation isn't helpful. So we wanted to create something that was more empowering. Like, how do you— because community is a really important part of healing, right? I mean, there's nothing better than meeting someone else who has Lyme who knows exactly what I think that's part of what made Omega so awesome, right? We were in a room with 200 people that knew exactly what we were going through, and that was so cool. So we wanted to create a space where people could connect to heal not just the body, but the mind and soul, because I'm sure you all have come across this, the psychospiritual side of healing, the stuff that Katina Makaris and others talk about, is huge, you know, and we can take as many antibiotics and herbs and baths and infrared saunas as we want, but if we're not addressing the psycho-spiritual side, then we're just— we could continue to get sick and get well and get sick and get well forever. So we wanted to both create a space to talk about mindfulness and sort of daily tools that help the soul, but also say, okay, so what self-limiting conversations are you maybe having that are keeping you from doing the things that you already know you need to do to get well? So like maybe you know that you need to change doctors, but you know, because you're human, you're scared or worried that it's not going to be right, or you're not sure how you're going to pay for it, or all these things. I mean, someone told me once that people who have a chronic illness basically have a PhD in being alive. And I think that that is just so true. You know, we have— because we've been sick, we have this huge well of wisdom that maybe the average bear doesn't have. And, you know, so the question is, how do we tap into that wisdom? And then how do we notice what's holding us back from tapping into that wisdom and choose instead to move forward instead of letting it hold us back?

Nice, right?

That's so awesome. What you said there in your group and about your group is really kind of what we, what we want to do with Line Voice. And I'm so excited to have you on because you, you just fit what we're already experiencing, what we're already desiring for, uh, for Line Voice and for our Line Voice listeners. So it's so cool. Um, tell us a little more about As you were going through your journey, as you're getting better, how did this— just even the desire to do this for people— how did that play into your healing process?

Hmm, such a good question. So I think I came out of the womb wanting to make the world a better place.

Nice, that's awesome.

It's just, it's always, it's always been a driver for me and Actually, that same drive was part of why I wasn't focused on my healing for a long time, is because I was putting that, my desire to support others in front of myself. And I'm sure this is very common. I know this is a very common story for people.

I identify with you.

Yeah, I feel like we're in the same boat. We just optimistically kept thinking, oh, it'll get better, it'll get better, because we want to be living our lives and and then it hits, the trauma hits or something undoes and you don't realize how broken you are until you're in bed for years.

Yeah, I literally burned out 4 different times. The first one was in college and by burnout I mean like quit a whole bunch of stuff that I was doing and totally freaked out and thought I'm never gonna be able to do the things I wanna do. It wasn't really until the last time where I realized the reason I'm burning out is 'cause I'm a sick person and I just need to acknowledge that I'm sick and deal with that before I try to change the world because a sick person's never gonna be able to change the world the way that I want to.

So you actually had to put it on pause for a little bit.

Oh yeah, yeah. I had to put a lot of things on pause. So it was sort of this process of saying, "Okay, I'm going to let go of this, and then I'm going to let go of this." And then what were the things that I was still holding onto that I really needed to let go of? I love teaching yoga. I've just been doing it part-time my entire yoga career, but letting go of teaching was really hard for me. And then I had to let go of practicing myself. It didn't even make sense for me to practice anymore. And so, yeah, it was— I mean, they say, you know, people say Lyme is your greatest teacher. It's certainly my greatest teacher because it taught me to just to learn to be okay with letting go of all these things that I thought were, you know, who I was at the time.

Now, for Sarah and I, when we've had to let go of things, I often feel guilty. Did you feel that way too?

Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, especially one that really sticks out is I was the board president of this bike advocacy organization and I had put so much into it and I couldn't stick around to work on a leadership transition plan or to really wrap up anything that I had done. I just had to bail. And that, that felt, you know, yeah, I felt super guilty and crappy about that.

You know, it's funny, everybody has different ways of describing letting go and the losses and the loss of identity. And because we have 5 kids, I feel like ours was incredibly painful because as we had to drop out of stuff, we were taking our kids out of stuff too that they loved that were really important to them. And I kept calling it, you know, because it was a progression over years. And in my head I would just say, I feel like I'm lowering my standards. Oh yeah. In every area of our life. Like, okay, I used to not want the kids to walk out the door if they were wearing dirty clothes or, you know, whatever it is. I just felt like those standards kept getting lower and lower, but it was really hard. I feel like psychologically to reconcile that, because for me, I didn't have a diagnosis. So I just felt like innately that maybe I was lazy or just a failure. And I knew logically I wasn't, but emotionally, because of the disarray that was happening, it really felt like we were just lowering our standards.

Yeah, I hear you. It's such a terrible feeling.

Yeah, it is. So how has that played into your recovery though? Because I think one of the things that's neat about your story, Noel, is, you know, we say fighting is a mindset, healing is a choice, and living is an outcome. So as you're healing, you're also trying to pass on in the midst of it all the wisdom and knowledge that you've gained. Does that— is that cathartic for you? Does it give you— I don't know. It has been for us with Lion Voice. It's a lot of work. But man, when somebody writes and says, hey, this is really impacting me, it literally makes the 20 years of suffering worth it.

Yeah, totally.

Have you experienced the same?

Yeah, I'm just smiling really big over here. Yeah, I was lucky and some really great people helped me out when I didn't have a diagnosis and was looking for one. And I got some really good advice from people. One woman, another young woman who was sick for a long time before she figured out she had Lyme told me, "See whatever doctor you want, but never let go of the reins." And I just found that to be—

Oh, I love that.

Yeah, I found that to be such good advice, and because of people like her, every time I can give back to someone else, even if I'm just emailing them some resources or something, it makes me feel good because I feel like I'm paying it forward essentially because of all the folks that really supported me. And even I had a friend say, "You know, I know somebody else who had the same symptoms as you." and she went gluten-free and all her symptoms went away. And that's the reason that I tried going gluten-free and at one point at least it made a big difference. So every single thing like that I try not to take it for granted and take joy in trying to pass it on to others.

That's awesome.

You were describing yourself as being about 75% right now of what you once were or where you Or is it more where you hope to be?

Yeah, I think that's where I hope to be.

Okay, so as you're functioning, you've got a couple of businesses, you're, you're, you're coaching, and how is it functioning with your new Lyme ingredient? Tell us, can you describe a little bit of what a month might look like to you?

Yeah, uh, The pattern seems to be 2 good weeks, 2 not so good weeks, or that's sort of how it averages out. And for women, there's a lot that is attached to the cycle, so I assume that that's part of it. And so a big thing has just been learning to roll with that and not just get really pissed off when it goes from being good to bad. That's something that has been a huge learning experience for me. When I left Boston last summer to go live with my family and focus on getting better, I just was so sort of angry that there were all these things going on and I couldn't do any of them, and I felt like everyone was hanging out without me, and I just had this really bad attitude about all of it. And I think that Coming back and, you know, with a new work situation and feeling better, the attitude has been such a huge part of it, you know? I think a huge part of what's made living better is being okay with asking for help. That's something that was for years just out of the question. Or I would do it and I would cry before I did it and cry after I did it because it just felt I felt like, how could I ask my friends to come bring me dinner if I couldn't do anything back for them? Or how could I ask for things if I wasn't capable of doing anything for anyone else? And it took years to get over that. I mean, years and a lot of work and a lot of therapy and a lot of coaching and a lot of my partner telling me that I needed to ask for help anyway. I think that's just been a huge game changer and that makes the bad weeks or the bad days or the bad months so much better 'cause I've, I actually created a little support team and I asked a couple friends including one who has Lyme. I said, you know, can I, when I feel really bad and I need help, can I reach out to you? I sort of set that up. When I was moving back, I was really just worried about, What am I gonna do since I've had all this great support? And what am I gonna do when I get back to the city and it's just my partner? And that support team has been really great. And just being, I'm actually giving, what I realize is I'm giving people who care about me an opportunity to support me, whereas before, when things were bad, no one knew. And then I would be upset that no one understood. And that's just a terrible place to be. So that's been a huge part of living that. And I have 3 jobs now, but they're all part-time and I do them all from home. So I have a lot of flexibility. If I work in the morning and then I feel crappy in the afternoon, I can sit down and watch 2 episodes of a show on Netflix and do absolutely nothing in the middle of the day or take a nap. And that's okay. Is such a gift. It's a huge gift.

Yeah. I think one of the things that I've learned through this whole thing is I was just running and I feel like the same way as you said, like waking or being born and wanting to make the world a better place. I felt very much that same way. And even we adopted two kids from Ethiopia and that because that was so near and dear to our hearts. But then you're not able for us. I just always felt like I wasn't able to fulfill things. The way I wanted. And, but part of that was I wasn't taking care of myself either. I thought I was, you know, here and there I would eat vegetables and salad and different things, but I didn't understand like the depth of health that you needed to have to overcome something like this.

Hmm.

Because it is, it's this massively long journey. And, and I think that's what makes it so hard is that it's not an acute situation. It's something that goes on for decades.

Yeah, yeah, I really feel like Lyme medically and socially picks on your weak spots, or if you naturally have an Achilles heel of whatever symptom, Lyme seems to pick on that. But even within our relationships, we quickly learned that, you know, as we're living, as we're living with our relationships and, and each other, those weak spots because of the chronic illness it just kind of irritates those even more. And it wasn't very long before even myself, even though I don't have Lyme but I'm just dealing with the effects of Lyme, I have to be a bigger person in order to be able to beat this.

Right.

Oh yeah, you have to cultivate so much inner strength that you don't even think you're capable of.

Yeah, it's funny, we were talking with Sarah's sister And she had, she's had some issues, but we were describing the effort it takes to function now.

And she was in a car accident and she had bruising on all sides, 3 sides of her brain. And so she's been in the same boat you were where she can't see, but she goes to the eye doctor and her eyesight is perfect. She can't read because the screen is too blurry. And so she's had this like 6-year journey of trying to get her life back and, and really wrestling through the losses and wrestling through the emotions and trying to turn post-traumatic stress into post-traumatic growth and learn from it, but then also get over it.

But as you're doing this, it takes so much effort. You give it your best shot and you're coming up with subpar results, you know, you're coming up 50/50, where a good day used to be you could nail it in the 90% range, and now you put everything you have and you're only coming up with these bad results or less than ideal results. And to keep your head up through those situations is not only— it's, it's hard to do, it's, it's frustrating, it's sometimes it's overwhelming, but at the same time when you find your new normal and you quit looking at the old person you used to be and where you are now, hey, I got 50% today. That's awesome.

Noelle, let me ask you a question. Did you struggle with feeling like a failure throughout this?

I definitely did during those 4 burnouts. Yeah, that was, that was the conversation that I was having with myself.

I just think it's so fascinating because I've been doing some reading, but I really want to study the link between illness and failure.

Yeah, and I think it comes back to these self-limiting conversations that we have with ourselves. Yeah. And the difference— it's almost like if you can train yourself the way that you train a dog, if you can see yourself having the I'm a failure conversation, then as soon as you see it, you won't be it. So then choosing to turn your attention to I'm gonna heal fully or whatever you wanna tell yourself, I think that's really where the journey is, is how do you see the failure conversation and choose to have another one with yourself?

Yeah, that's so huge. We call it, like speaking truth or speaking life instead of, you know. And, and for me, because that failure consciousness was such a part, because I felt like I was failing my kids and my husband and my family. And but I literally had to write out, like, when I start thinking I'm a failure, I have like 5 declarations that I go through. And I'll say, I will not be defeated by Lyme. Instead, it will be my greatest opportunity. I have all these declarations, but man, I mean, I said them for years before they became a reality.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I actually, I don't know, maybe you all had this experience too, but something that I heard from a lot of other Lyme patients at Omega was that that was a huge part of their healing was having declarations and mantras and just, and reminders. And not only something that they said to themselves every day, but literally paste it up around the house. And that was a similar theme. You know, you got it. You got to stick with it. And it might take a really long time. But, you know, you do internalize it and live from that eventually. And that's, that's where the magic happens.

Well, and I felt like for me, when I actually did write them out and start saying them, when I read my own thoughts, I just realized how hard I was on myself. I was sick. Yeah, I was giving 110% every day, but I only got 10% some days or 40%, and that's a hard reality. But it's— it has been transformative in the sense that, like, we just tackle all of life differently now because of this experience.

Yeah, yeah. And I, I think part of the reason I was drawn to coaching and became a coach myself is I want to support people in getting there a little bit sooner. Right. Helping them see that they're being really hard on themselves or that they're having this failure conversation because the sooner you see it, the sooner you can address it. Like you and I, if people don't have to suffer with that for years, that would be awesome.

Right. Okay, so as we come into the end of our session, Noelle, tell us about your online coaching. Tell us about your website. Website and all that you're doing.

Yeah, so I sort of have two things going on. I do one-on-one coaching through my personal coaching practice where I can work with anyone who is working with chronic illness or Lyme, and then I also, I coach people that consider themselves changemakers too. So anyone who wants to change the world and people who are sick and want to change the world. And then along with Sonia Boggs and I started this program Get to Thrive. We're launching our pilot on November 8th, and we're doing— it's a 3-part program that we're still working this out, but it's either gonna be a webinar format where folks can call in over the phone or something over Skype so that we can see each other. We're still working out the details on what makes the most sense.

And what are the 3 aspects?

Good question. So people in the program are gonna get tools that can help them see just what's possible for them. And one of the things that we're gonna offer folks is the opportunity to create a healing vision. So not only what do you know that you need to do to heal, but what are the things that you haven't been doing since you've been sick that you wanna reclaim? And we'll look together at how do you start living the life you love now? Instead of putting it on the list of things that you're gonna do when you're better. Right, 'cause I think that we all do that. And so everyone in the program will leave with a healing vision and access to Sonya and I. Everybody gets a free coaching session as part of the program. And then I think maybe the most fun part is that folks will, everyone gets a Lyme buddy. So everyone in the program will be buddied up with someone else and invited to connect between sessions to talk about the material and to develop a relationship that they can take beyond the end of the 3-week program. And then there's also, there's gonna be an online forum exclusive to people that are in the program, so folks, and available to them after the program's over so that they can continue to talk about not just what happened in the program, but they can trade ideas about what's working for their healing or, you know, an opportunity. It's a place where folks can celebrate, you know, I made my bed today, or I went on a hike today, or I played with my dog, or, you know, I got to take my kids to school, or whatever it is, right? You know, it's just a space for folks to share with other people that know exactly what they're going through.

That's awesome.

Yeah, it's so cool. And so anyone can join this from anywhere where they're at? It's all online, correct?

That's correct. And even though we're on the East Coast, we're trying to do it— it's going to be on Sundays, and we're trying to do it later in the day so even folks in Hawaii and Alaska can participate.

Wow, that is so cool. That's so awesome. Noel, thank you so much for your time today. I think we're going to probably have to have you on again.

Yeah, after you guys launch, it'd be great to see how the program changes or adapts, and I'd love to hear about some of the successes or victories that have come out of that.

But before we wrap up though, give us— we'll include all of your information on the show notes for people, so if you want to go to lionvoice.com, look up Noelle on the podcast episodes, and you'll see all of her information there. But in case people don't have time to do that, would you please give them your contact information? And then I understand you have a launch date for your program.

That's right. So Get to Thrive is the name of the program, and folks can learn about it at gettothrive.com. And also, if it— so yeah, we're starting on November 8th, so it's going to be November 8th 15th and 22nd. And it's just the pilot. We're expecting to take this and, and do several more sessions. So if, you know, if folks weren't able to be part of this one, there's definitely going to be another opportunity. And then my personal website is just noellejanka.com.

Awesome, awesome. Thank you so much, Noelle. Um, can you leave us with a quote? Do you have a quote that you've— or a mantra that has been near and dear to you recently?

Yeah, you know, I borrowed this one from Contina Macris after Omega, but the one that I say every day and that I have all over my house is simply, "I am healing fully." Awesome.

That's a good one. Simple yet profound.

Yeah, I feel like the simple works on especially the foggy days. Awesome. Well, thank you all so much. It was such a, such a delight to get to share with you all.

Yeah, we appreciate your time today.

All right, well, thank you, Noel.

Thank you.

All right, take care.

Bye-bye.

Disease is contrary to life. Therefore, wherever disease exists, life must also fight to exist.

Good job fighting, Lyme fighters. Keep it up. We'll see you next time. LymeVoice contains general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice and should not be treated as such. 'Kay, Lincoln? 'Kay. The medical information on LymeVoice is provided as is without any representations, warranties, expressed or implied. Okay? Okay. LymeVoice makes no representations or warranties in relation to the medical information on this podcast. You must not rely on the information on this podcast as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you have any specific questions about your medical matter, you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. And for you, you consult your parents, okay? Okay. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition, you should see seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this podcast. Got it, Lincoln?

Got it.

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