031 Janice Fairbairn "A Mother's Lyme Fight"

From the creators of Lyme Voice and Disappearing from Society comes a brilliantly simple idea, but this time it comes as a book. Imagine a world in which birds can talk like people. You'll get a bird's-eye view of life with Lyme disease as one bird family must unite to overcome the obstacles of life with Lyme disease. Guaranteed to make you laugh and dry. Written in a way that helps you articulate the losses you are experiencing as a household while simultaneously empowering you to keep fighting. Little Bite, Big Trouble is available today at Amazon.com.

You're just going to have to deal with it. They're past those little things, which is a huge benefit in parenting. But I know a lot of people who still have to struggle with that. And teaching your kids not to compare our lives is the biggest challenge. And I think without a faith and without being able to pray about it, it would be really difficult. I've watched faith grow in them, and at times it takes my breath away. What God has done in their souls— it's going to make me cry— what God has done in their souls through faith, through our crisis and our illness, is something I could never have fathomed.

Congratulations, Lyme Fighter! Today you had the courage to open your eyes and face another day. Welcome to Lyme Voice. This show's purpose is to help you put the puzzle pieces of Lyme into place. Each episode is designed to inspire, educate, and encourage you on your Lyme journey to wellness. Together we will fight. Together we will heal. Together we will live. Here are your hosts, Aaron and Sarah Sanchez.

Hello everybody, welcome to Lion Voice. Today you have Aaron and Sarah here in our wonderful little closet, aka the studio. And today we are a little bit late of when I usually release, but that's okay because I decided to enjoy my birthday, which was April 4th, instead of doing editing and getting this out. And it was an interesting process. Even in this, I, I call it the birthday blues. And so a little confession here on my part. For the last few years, because we have dealt with so much loss, it leaves me particularly feeling like inadequate or not worthy of praise. And I realized that this was manifesting itself through my birthday and just Allowing people to give me a happy birthday has been a process and a learning process for me to accept the fact that it's okay for me to have a happy birthday because I didn't do anything. This is not my fault, and it was just a lie that I was listening to that was making me feel like I didn't have a happy birthday. So I wanted to confess that on air and actually maybe encourage you. What lies may you be telling yourself that is not allowing yourself to enjoy life? And if those are things that are making you not enjoy life, you have to address them and look at them as if they're— are they true or are they not? Because there's so many times that there's these unnecessary lies that trip us up. Anyway, that is my birthday speech for this week.

And what—

why we wanted to talk about it is because as we are kind of coming out of this like 5-year vortex of loss that had lost even before that atrocious 5 years is it just leaves nothing left. Like there's no aspect of your life that goes untainted or unharmed when you're dealing with chronic illness for years and years. And we used to— I love throwing big parties. I kind of have the more the merrier type attitude. If I can invite 80 people, I'll invite 80 people. And we used to host big parties continually, consistently, and we can't do that anymore physically, energy-wise, financially. And so I think for you, I mean, we've both said this, we both have expressed in the last couple years just these deep, deep levels of shame or failure when you literally don't have money to go celebrate a birthday, you just— it just— I feel like it just breaks down your psyche and says you're not worthy, you're a failure, blah, blah, blah. And so we've had to really work through so many of those areas.

Yeah.

And, and it's hard because I feel like for so many years we were chasing the symptoms, managing the symptoms, that you forget in the process that you still need to live. Like, you forget the end result of why you're doing all that.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, this week I think you guys are going to really enjoy this episode. It is, it is what you need to hear, and it is what we needed to hear. We recorded this back in December, and, uh, we released— I'm so glad to be able to release it now. I think it will be a huge impact. There's a little bit— there's an Easter egg of sorts at the end, a little, uh, pre-interview chat that Sarah and I do. Sometimes we have the best conversations, and I don't— I always want to include them in, but they're not quite part of the interview, so I didn't know where to put them. Anyway, in this one I put a few little, um, at the end here, a few little parts. So make sure you stay tuned to the very end. But, uh, the main point of this episode this week is really what I want you guys to, to come away with is mainly for the, the, the helper, the support system. This, I think at the end of this episode there's some really good points. And for those of you who are dealing with Lyme and you want your significant others to hear this, this would be a great episode to share with them. So please stay tuned to the end. I think the one thing I wanted to encourage you guys in, in this part, and, and as we talk about these, the issues dealing with the partner and what they can do, is it is not an easy thing. The task of keeping your family and marriage together during this is extremely difficult, but if it was easy, everybody could do it, and it's not. It is really hard, and it's hard to hear that. And the truth is, is you're going to sweat and labor and make a lot of mistakes, but it is worth it and it is possible. So keep your head up, keep fighting for your family, keep fighting for your spouse. And I hope you guys really enjoy this. I really felt like the whole message to the spouse or to the helper is a really important thing that needs to be paused and focused on. So please enjoy, and then stay tuned for next week and we'll have the second part. Welcome, Lime Voice listeners! So glad to have you here today. Today we have Janice Fairbairn. Janice, are you ready to help us put the puzzle pieces of Lime into place.

I'm ready.

All right, so Janice, um, I had the pleasure of reading through your book and I just want to talk a little bit about, um, your journey and have you kind of tell it in a nutshell for us. Um, but Janice has published several books and she has them all listed at justlivinglikethiswithlime.com. And Janice has been on the road to recovery for about 4 years now and She just does a really neat job of articulating in her book, articulating the struggle between the physical and the spiritual and trying to make your life align when it's in utter chaos. So, Janice, tell us how you got to this point where you decided to give what little energy you have in a day to writing a book in your journey with Lyme.

Okay, my journey with Lyme starts apparently before I knew that there was a ground zero. I had been getting sick slowly. I had kids later into my 30s. I think that probably did not help. My husband started his own business in the same time period. We moved into a house with mold unbeknownst to ourself. Everybody is nodding at home going, "Oh, yes." These things are all catapults, right?

Right.

Straight into the abyss of Lyme. So I crashed 4 and a half years ago in the fall on a family walk with my kids and had heart pain so bad we went to the the ER. So that started the journey. My eyesight went south almost instantly. I was unable to drive. So, you know, we're a pretty natural household. We had already— because my kids had been born sick, we found out later— we had been going gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free, dye-free. You know, we had been chasing this "what is going on with our kids" thing. So, you know, we were pretty natural, healthy. I played volleyball. I ran, you know, living kind of people. So I started, "Well, okay, my immune system is failing. What's going on?" And so then on top of the crash, which I think came about because I went to a naturopath, my cholesterol was through the roof because I'd been feeling bad. I don't know why my cholesterol was through the roof. I'm sure it was some Lyme derivative. My eye doctor had been screaming about me that I had glaucoma. And so then I slowly got diagnosed with lupus and diagnosed with Sjögren's disease and, you know, all these things. And so then I was like, "Well, okay. Let's start doing some things." I did intravenous ozone. I was taking giant doses of cat's claw for my cholesterol. I did not know that's what was making me feel worse because it was killing the Lyme. So I catapulted myself into like an 8-week herx that finally got me a positive on a Western blot after 12 doctors. And I, you know, I found myself thanking God for the diagnosis. I don't know if you've ever read A Thousand Gifts by Anne Vaskamp.

No, but I want to because you quoted it in your book so often.

Yeah, it's a really— it's either an enjoyable or a tough read depending on who you are and where you are. But, you know, she says once it has a name, at least you know what you're fighting. You know, I think a lot of people understand when you're fighting nothing, you don't know what to throw at it. So I found myself in a very weird place at 85 pounds. Near death, thanking God for Lyme disease somehow. And then, like you said earlier, realizing that then my kids have it. Like, that explained all the mysteries all of a sudden. But thankfully, you know, we went, we went to the church and the elders anointed me and prayed over me that Christmas because I was fading like so fast, it was crazy. I mean, I was— I hadn't eaten in about 4 months. I couldn't drive, I could barely get out of bed. I mean, everybody knows that place. Yeah. And 3 days in a row, 3 different people handed me Dr. Jernigan's name at the Honsa Center. So, you know, it was just a door of opportunity that was open that we felt like, you know, we had to walk through. There was another Lyme doctor that was given to me as well. We did a consult with both of them and chose the one that was local. We didn't realize that it was like a worldwide gift that nobody knows about. So I started treatment there. 4 years ago, January.

Tell us about— it's called the Honza Treatment Center?

Yeah, Honza Center for Optimum Health. I think the website is honzacenter.com.

Okay.

Dr. Jernigan is the founder. He— in fact, my eye doctor's mom was one of his first patients. She was one of the people who gave me his name. It's amazing how God works. So he started because he had Lyme disease., that also nearly killed him. So he began the clinic, um, they just had their 20-year anniversary, um, he now has 4 other doctors that work for him, um, but they treat completely without antibiotics, all natural oils, therapies, homeopathics, herbals, um, they use bioresonance scanning, which is a form of kinesiology or energy testing, um, they use infrared saunas, massage, you know, a form of Rife, just about everything you can think of but under one housed place. And they do 2-week and 1-week protocols. So you come in for that period of time.

So you're only there for 2 weeks or 1 week?

Yep. And then you take home your remedies. And then based on your healing process, then you go back for follow-up. A lot of people go back then for 1 week, or they go back for 3 days, or whatever they can afford, or what their body needs. And then you just taper it off. So based on your healing process, you can slowly taper off and taper down your frequency. It's a personal choice. And, you know, we were local, so it's very different for me. You know, eventually I could go just once a week for 30 minutes. You know, my kids, at the time, they had a different policy for kids, and so they just started coming in once a week. Their bodies respond so quickly to natural treatment. It was really unbelievable. I mean, I felt like I— I mean, I was so thankful that we had been fighting for their health and we kind of had them like duct taped together, you know, that I think that also helped them overcome things faster. So they got to fully functional just like that, where I was like clawing out of the hole, you know, old body, lots of damage, lots of years. But yet I feel like I have been able to maintain better than they have because they're constantly making eyelashes and bone and muscle will hit a roadblock that we have to then unravel something else. I don't know if you encounter that with your kids as well, but, but it's a great facility for people who are naturally minded or who just haven't found a solution with antibiotics or traditional treatment, or that feel like they did but they keep having regressions. I think that is really common for people as well. Yeah!

Now what is it— what's the ballpark cost of that type of a treatment center?

Good point! Because it sounds, you know, as you get into the high-dollar treatment stuff, you know, the price tag keeps increasing. This to us already sounds a little bit more affordable for someone who's not financially wealthy.

Right! Right! No, and we aren't— we are not! I could pan around at the sacrificial, um, life that we live because of it. No, the 2-week treatment, I believe, is around $8,000 per person. Now, kids, I'm not sure. Kids might be different because I don't think they do the full day and all the treatments. So I have not asked financially some of the people I've met recently what they pay for their children for treatment, but the 2-week is around $8,000. They do run specials from time to time, and the really cool thing that they do also is they track every remedy and every oil and everything they put on you and do to you and all the therapies. And if you're in with the doctor, you see the doctor for an hour every day for 2 weeks. Wow. Imagine that. And if for any reason he hits a hurdle and you're in there for an hour, you stay in there till it's finished. Yeah. So, um, so at the end of that 2 weeks, they tally up everything that they did, and if you paid in excess to that, they refund it. Wow. So, and if it's over, you don't pay extra. So that is an integrity standard that I really love about it, that, you know, you know, because if you know anything about essential oils, there are some of them that are like, you know, $5,000 for the teeny tiny bottle. And if they put 3 drops of that on you, you don't pay more for that. You don't pay more for an hour and a half with a doctor or, you know, the extra additional support that you need.

So And then it's a great system. And then as you're, as you're recovering at home, because I went through something similar, I did a 2-month intensive protocol in Scottsdale at Invita, but then I did— I've just finished a 2-year at-home. What does it cost? What did it cost you to do your at-home protocol, like on a monthly basis?

You know, I never tracked it. That's a good question. The remedies themselves in the beginning, of course, you leave there with whatever you're taking. Current. So it probably would take you a couple weeks to a month to need remedy filling. I always recommend to people who are out of town, you know, you really still need a local somebody that you touch base with, whether that's an acupuncturist or a massage therapist or nutritionist or a chiropractor, somebody who can kind of keep you, you know, on track. Okay. And then you kind of have to learn what your body needs. You can also email and consult with the doctor. So depending on this remedy needs to continue, this remedy doesn't, you know, it could probably been— probably could have been easily a couple hundred dollars in remedies a month. Yeah. And supplements in the beginning, and then it's tapered— tapers down from there as things drop off. And then they, you know, recommend continuing with sauna or massage or other detox protocols and therapies to make sure that you're still flushing what your body needs. So that's based on the individual availability in your area.

Okay. And are they taking patients? Yes.

Okay. Yes. They usually book out a couple months, but they're— they have a cancellation policy, and we know life with Lyme always has ups and downs. I got in within 4 days. I mean, that was years ago. So it's possible that you can get in in a matter of weeks. It's always easier near the holidays, near time periods when people don't want to go, you know. So, um, but so it's really possible. And, you know, there are— every time I go in there now, because we go in a couple times a year for checkups, I meet whole families, you know, because they realize their kids have it, and or the spouse now has it, and the sister now has it. And, you know, so it's a matter of then figuring out You know, and for the most part, the moms are getting treated because without a mom functioning, nobody else can heal. And then it's, you know, based on a triage system of which child do you need it the fastest, you know, who needs the help the most.

Yeah, I want to segue into a little excerpt from your book and then have you expound on that. You wrote, functioning as a mother still seemed nearly impossible. My household barely held together by the help of family and friends. I felt I was constantly drowning by the list of things to do and what hadn't been done, and all I wanted to do was get better. It was about this time in my treatment that I got hit with the truth: my kids have Lyme too. Yeah, and that is one of the continual questions we get from our audience is, how do you keep your household running when, for a majority of them, they have one very sick parent, and a lot of times it's mom who coordinates things.

And did you—

looking back in hindsight, what did you do well? What did you not do well? And what advice would you give to someone who's laying on their couch trying to keep their kids busy?

Yeah, and if I can add a little bit to that, that is an extremely hard task in that you are called to be better than average when you feel way, way worse than average. And that makes all the difference in accomplishing these tasks. And that is where we both have felt overwhelmed, where we just can't even fathom how you're supposed to do all these things, keep being better than average. It's almost— at times it can be daunting, you know, for us. Of course, we thankfully kept our nose to the grindstone and kind of pushed our way through it. But one of the reasons we love talking to other Lyme patients about this is to hear the, the hacks or the shortcuts.

A Lyme hack.

You know, what, what worked for you and that kind of thing.

So yes, as a parent, as a mom, the biggest thing that I had to realize— and I'm a type A person who thought that I was keeping all my plates spinning, um, that I, you know, it was a fast misconception that I had is God had to be my strength. I mean, he ripped control out of my hands in this thing and made my head spin. I mean, I couldn't control anything. You know, we had— we still have clumps of dog hair that float like tumbleweed across our hardwood floors that make me crazy. Because I had to let everything go. I had to look at everything that I thought was important or that I thought that I was doing that was important, and I had to change it all. I had to really let God reorganize my entire list. And it became basic necessities. You know, if I couldn't get my daughter to dance lessons, I didn't get her there. You know, what's a dance lesson? She needed to live. You know, she just needed to sleep through the night. She needed to be able to eat food without having her stomach upset. And getting off the roller coaster that makes us believe that what our neighbors are doing or the other moms at school matters. Accepting the new normal life for me was realizing that everybody else's normal I couldn't make eye contact with. Because it automatically makes us compare. It automatically starts a pity party. And I have to be really careful even now if someone tells me something exciting that's going on in their life or trouble, I have to be really careful not to be a cynic. Or be, you know, like, you have no idea, you know, you have no idea. Parenting is not about teaching sweet little manners and growing, you know, character that blossoms. Sometimes I hope that they get out of the house without food in their teeth. And, you know, I just— parenting is not what I expected, but it's what God intended. And I feel like the character that my kids are growing is leaps and bounds beyond other people's kids because of what they are battling. And we just, we just put it on the table and we talk about it in raw terms. Even when I'm having one of those days that I'm cranky mom, it's because life's harder for us. This is what we were handed. And this is what we get to deal with. So we get to pray about it, we get to move on, and we get to recognize that God is making something different for us. We don't get to choose it. But we're gonna, we're gonna take one step at a time and live it. And we're gonna realize that might not mean a soccer game, it might not mean ever taking a vacation again. It just, it means a lot of things different. My kids are now at 9 and 10 years old, getting to the age where they will ask, "Why don't we get to do things?" or "Why don't—" I mean, they're way past the disappointment of not having a cupcake at a party. You know, I mean, they're way past that, but that was a hurdle too. And why today is the day that I can't make a separate batch of gluten-free homemade cupcakes. You know, you're just going to have to deal with it. They're past those little things, which is a huge benefit in parenting. But I know a lot of people who still have to struggle with that. Teaching your kids not to compare our lives is the biggest challenge. And I think without a faith and without being able to pray about it, it would be really difficult. I've watched faith grow in them. And at times it takes my breath away, what God has done in their souls. It's gonna make me cry. What God has done in their souls through faith, through our crisis and our illness, is something I could never have fathomed.

Can you give us an example of something that has come up?

I might not be able to tell you without crying, but I can. Um, about a year ago, it was one of the layers of the onion we were peeling off for my son. Um, he unfortunately picked up a parasite that for someone else might have been a 3-day problem that created 9 months for us. And he had just— I mean chronic stomach pain. It took us to the ER, which, you know, for anybody with Lyme is the last ditch effort. But I thought his appendix was rupturing. I mean, it was terrible. So he'd been home from school, I think he missed like 40 days of school that year. And we were sitting, you know, we were probably half the way through it. And we were doing better, you know, but we were still on the mend. And we were reading a devotional one morning at breakfast. And it was talking about God's unanswered prayers, and why God answers no, or why he doesn't answer yet. And so I am waiting on the Lord. And so I asked my son at the time was 9. I said, so what's something we're waiting on the Lord for? And he said, well, we're waiting to be healed. I'm waiting for my stomach to get healed. And I said, yeah, I said, if I can say this without crying, he's— I said, why do you think that is that we're having to wait so long? And he said, Mommy, as he's taking a bite of cereal, so simply, he said, Mommy, he's making me into a warrior. Oh, wow.

Oh my gosh.

Lesson for me, you know, that they get it more than we do because we compare more than they do. Yeah, we know what the normal was. We have more of a sense of what our old normal was, and we're fighting to get it back. As opposed to accepting where we've been placed. And that's a constant lesson for me, that he's making me into something I can't fight anymore. You know, I have to allow him to rip those layers off, no matter how painful. Yeah. And use this to make me into something. He's the only one that can make beauty from ashes. Yeah. So we just have to allow it, and sometimes we, we paddle against it. Because we just really want to go backward where life was simpler, where we took our health for granted, where we had money to go to Disney, where we had things, you know. And, um, we can't paddle backwards, you know. We gotta start to take things in stride. And when I— when I take things in stride, the kids take it in stride better.

Yeah, you set the tone for the house. Yeah.

And cooking food from scratch means that we don't get to do as many evening activities, you know. And, you know, I just— I try to be as real as I can with them. It's not the road we would have chosen, right? But it's the one we get to walk, and it's a privilege because we do get to help others. And I think the longer it's gone on, the more they get to see it. You know, they hear phone calls, um, and they get to see people at the— at the Lyme clinic when we go. And I'm always striking up conversations because everyone needs to hear that it's possible. You know, everyone needs to hear that there's hope. And I just completely believe that if I don't stand on a mountain and say it, then there was no purpose for me being here. Right. And it's just, that's something that I tell the kids all the time. And so they might not know how to chew food with their mouth closed when they leave this house. But I hope they know what God's purpose for them is. Yeah. This had a, this had a purpose that we might not ever see, but it matters. Yeah. So, um, back to the original question, it's watered-down parenting at its rawest form, and that it can't be what you— your parents parented you. It can't be how your neighbor's parent or your sister parents. Parenting chronically sick kids— I have some amazing warrior women that help me through it too. I mean, I think that you have to be around like-minded people. You know, get rid of toxic people who criticize you, who pull you down, who make you come home with envy and resentment. I mean, if you have a weakness for that, then you have to slowly pull that away until you can handle celebrating somebody getting new grass planted in their house and that being a giant headache for them that week. Sometimes I can't celebrate that and I have to realize that's my weakness. You know, they don't— they've been given a different life than me. But if it's causing you toxic problems in your thoughts or your spirit life, then you have to just pull away, you know, until you can handle praying for people's problems that are insignificant to you.

Yeah, it's funny because we were just having this conversation last week, and one of the things that we've really been focusing on even this fall, just in the last few months since I'm done with my 2-year protocol, I just have more time because I'm not doing the full thing that I used to do every day. And, and so we'll look at each other and like he'll be home and because usually when he's home we're in crisis because he was trying to work as much as possible. And yeah, so having him home and not being in crisis and, and we have two kids with reactive attachment disorder, so they feed off of all good or bad energy, you know, they're, they, they're, they're very intense to parent. And so every once in a while when the house is calm and quiet, we just look at each other and I'm like, this is how normal people live. Like, this is so awesome because it's been so many years that we haven't felt that calm and that peace and that restoration that you need but you don't get when you're a parent and you have sick kids and you're sick yourself and You don't spend your money on what you— you don't spend your money on what other families spend their money on. Right, right.

And it's really, really hard not to feel selfish and have that pity party at times. And, you know, we fall victim to it. As long as you only cry on the floor in a blob for 10 minutes and then move on, it's part of mourning it. I mean, I think we all have to let it go. You know, there was another moment where I was really, really having a deep pity party. That I just wanted, I just wanted something normal. I wanted 5 minutes of normal. And you know, that little voice in me, I mean, I literally yelled out in the middle of the room, I just, I just want that person back. I want to be that person again. I want to be myself. And that little voice deep inside me said, but that person was selfish and ungrateful. And I was like, oh, I was. I mean, think about it. Think about that's the, I mean, even being a mom itself, selfishness gets ripped out of you, right? But being on on this walk, where not, you know, you don't get to choose where a dollar goes and a morsel of food and fighting for your kids' health. I mean, there's nothing left of you. It is the bottom of your raw self. And so recognizing that I don't wanna be that person again, I don't, I want to be a better person than that. The one that is grateful for the good days and the good moments and the opportunities that you're given to have any kind of normalcy whatsoever. I mean, if we can make it through, any kind of a sports activity and someone doesn't have a meltdown and we don't have a reaction or overstimulation or that night any kind of a crisis, you know, I mean, we do— I hold my breath, right? Right. And then you're like, I'm afraid to celebrate because we haven't— it's not 3 AM. I mean, you know, can we get all the way through the night without— and so getting more and more of those moments though, you feel like you gain confidence in where you're going. Yeah.

That's funny you say that. I remember with Sarah and our youngest son celebrating going to a restaurant and nobody threw up. Yes! It was awesome. We were like high-fiving on the way out that we didn't need the mop bucket that meal. Yeah. So let me ask you another question, and this is kind of directed to the helper. So what did your husband do right?

The biggest thing is acceptance. You have to believe us. You have to believe no matter what we look like, no matter how we're acting, believe that what we describe we're feeling is true. There are too many people who aren't believing us. Too many people that are trying to pre-impose their health decisions on how we feel based on, right, you should take a depressant, antidepressant, because clearly, you know, I mean, there's just too many people in our world that don't believe us, that don't believe, well, you don't look sick, really? You feel bad? You know, I mean, somebody has to believe you 1,000%. And being that person, that, that is half the battle right there. Because it feels lonely enough to feel it all and be unknown, but without a proper response of acknowledgement. You know, the other part is just being hands and feet. I think, no, probably number 2 would be sticking with it. There are too many spouses that I hear that give up. It's too hard. Well, try living it. You know, I mean, you're having to watch it. I know that must be difficult, but it's— I mean, I lived it and I watched my kids suffer, so I can't imagine being a spouse with no control over it. You got to stick with it. Giving up isn't a choice. It's not possible. So yeah, sticking with it and then being the hands and feet, because, you know, changing the sheets on the beds was hard. Right. Oh, the worst. The worst.

The worst. It was excruciating, especially when your kids have loft beds. Yeah.

Yes. Unfortunately, that took me a few years to believe. Just like you're saying, that's probably one area that I failed in, is I didn't believe soon enough. So I was probably 2 years that I should have— 2 years late, basically. Yeah.

Well, I always felt like you believed me. I never felt like you didn't believe me. You didn't necessarily know what to do, but I do feel like— I mean, yeah, I think that's one of the things you did really well, as you believed me, right?

And, you know, I think if I could add to what you're saying, if there was one sentence I could give a couple who's about to enter this, or even any couple who's about to get married: die to yourself. That is exactly right. And that is what marriage is. That, um, it's ugly to die to yourself. It's not fun. It's uncomfortable. It, it is humiliating. It's all the things you try to avoid. But it is that medicine that will keep your marriage together. It is the glue that holds your marriage together. If you can learn to die to yourself do all those ugly things intentionally, you will succeed in your marriage. You will conquer this. You have to be bigger than this disease. And the only way I know how to do that is to die to yourself.

That said so beautifully, I could say cut, show's over. That was perfect. No, I think when you die to self like that, all the other things automatically fall into place. I mean, I've not been the perfect mom in this, but when I let go of the fact that I can't control it and I'm just— I'm the hands and feet for my kids and God brings me what I need to do. I am on my face praying for wisdom all the time. You know, as a spouse, you have to be the advocate, you know, for your wife. So when she doesn't have the energy, like, I gotta find somewhere to do X for my family. You know, I need therapy or I need a something, somebody mentioned something about a book about this, and I feel like I need to chase it. I'm sure you've felt that before. Oh yeah. You don't have the energy to chase it. I mean, you have to be that advocate that says, I'm gonna have the energy to make 5 phone calls, dig on the internet for an hour tonight, and I'm gonna read that whole book, 'cause she doesn't have the energy. That's the hands and feet. It's not just changing the sheets, it's what's our next step? Because this is a marathon, it's not a sprint. It's a journey for each of us. Everything that works for someone else might not work for you. There are new things coming on board all the time because it's such a new discovered disease or acknowledged disease that there are new treatments popping forth all the time. So all of a sudden you could have a brand new clinic an hour from your house that does something your family needs. You know, you got to keep your ears open all the time. You know, being on Facebook and paying attention to articles and things that are posted. I mean, it still helps me every day. Figure out what our next steps are, you know? So being that advocate, once you've died to self and realize you're not going to get to watch basketball games, you're not, you know, when you come home from work, you're a Lyme researcher now. You know, we all have to get PhDs, right? Absolutely. There is no other way to face this. There's not a one-stop shop for any of it.

Yeah, and that, it's so true. And I say that all the time, even to friends who I have in my local community who are getting diagnosed. Disease is contrary to life. Therefore, wherever disease exists, life must also fight to exist.

Good job fighting, Lyme fighters! Keep it up, we'll see you next time. Lion Voice contains general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice and should not be treated as such. Okay, Lincoln? Okay. The medical information on Lion Voice is provided as is without any representations, warranties, expressed or implied. Okay? Okay. Lion Voice makes no representations or warranties in relation to the medical information on this podcast. You must not rely on the information on this podcast as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you have any specific questions about your medical matter, you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. And for you, you consult your parents, okay? Okay. If you think you may be suffering from, from any medical condition, you should seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this podcast. Got it, Lincoln? Got it.

Hello?

Hi, Janice.

Hi, how are you guys? Good.

Can you see us all right?

Yeah, I can.

Nice to meet you. Yeah, nice to meet you too. We are in our studio slash master bedroom closet, so fantastic. We have 3 kids home sick and it's the only quiet place in the whole house is tucked away, so— Oh, I'm sorry, all 3 of your kids are sick at the same time.

I know, get it out of the way before Christmas, huh?

Hopefully, yeah.

Yeah, so unfortunately for Sarah, it's kind of looking like an extended winter vacation for her for having all the kids home.

Yeah, because they've already been home from school for 10 days now. Really? We got hand-foot-mouth disease or illness, so they can't go back to school. They get spots all over and they can't go back to school until their spots are healed. So, uh, wow, they feel They're fine at this point. They're just cooped up.

They're just cooped up and making you crazy. Wow. When they only— what, another week of school? Yeah. Yeah.

Fantastic.

The life of a mom. Fantastic. Yeah.

I'm really excited to talk to you. And then how long have you been in recovery?

I got really sick 4 and a half years ago, but it had been gradual before that without my knowledge. And I started treatment. Um, I did antibiotics for a short stint 4 years ago at Christmas, um, that almost landed me in the grave, and then started at Hansa, um, January 4 years ago. Hansa? Uh-huh, that is the Lyme treatment center that's in Wichita. Oh, I haven't heard of that one. It is fabulous. So they treat holistically with no, um, chemical synthetic anything. Energetic oil energies. Um, and I can talk about that. That's one of the greatest places for kids because it's all safe, you know, the therapies and the treatments that they do. I mean, it happens to me in my hometown and I didn't know it until I crashed. So, but it's one of the best places, I would say. They get people from all over the country, um, and the world, um, because it's one of the only places. Yeah.

Yeah, because there is that multi-generational effect of— I would— when I read your book, I was in the same boat you were. Like, you're realizing, oh, you have Lyme, and then like within seconds you realize, oh my gosh, my kids have had this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It hits you like a stone cold nightmare, and then you're like, you know, you're doing the same thing that I did. You're managing your own remedies and treatments and your kids. Oh yeah, there are international alarms on my phone. You know, someone just laughed again yesterday because I have to have a reminder that my kids are at school. I have two of them. And, you know, I have a reminder for everything because I don't know if it's going to be, you know, that my brain perfectly functions, or is it 80% today, or, you know, I still have pockets where it's like, it's just, you know, whether it's hormonal or the full moon or something, that day is just zapped. I'm lucky to have clothes on and get anywhere with match shoes. So yeah, yeah, so sad. So true.

Yes.

From the creators of Line Voice and Disappearing from Society comes a brilliantly simple idea, but this time it comes as a book. Imagine a world in which birds can talk like people. You'll get a A bird's-eye view of life with Lyme disease as one bird family must unite to overcome the obstacles of life with Lyme disease. Guaranteed to make you laugh and cry. Written in a way that helps you articulate the losses you are experiencing as a household while simultaneously empowering you to keep fighting. Little Bite, Big Trouble. Is available today at Amazon.com.