082 Kyle J. Willis-Fitness Model and Chronic Lyme Disease warrior!

Kyle, what would you tell someone who's in that place that we've been at? Like, home alone, frustrated, overwhelmed, gave away their power. Like, what would you tell them?

Yeah, I mean, I would just tell them that, that they're loved beyond belief. Like, you, you don't— you have no idea until you get there. And that what you go through matters big time. Like, it matters so much more than you can see right now. And although you may feel super alone and in a rut and there's no, there's no way out. There's always a way, and it hurts, it sucks, it's really, really hard, but it's super fruitful, and I truly believe.

Welcome to Lion Voice. We are your hosts, Sarah and Aaron Sanchez. We created this show designed to inspire, educate, and encourage you on your path to wellness. This show's purpose Our purpose is to help you put the puzzle pieces of healing into place. Join us as we interview other warriors and discuss how fighting is a mindset, healing consists of choices, and living is the outcome.

Wishing your doctors could communicate and come up with a cohesive plan specific to your medical needs and genetics? At Invita Medical Center, they offer a team-style approach, giving you the opportunity to heal. In addition to a commitment of providing radical love and care for their patients, they are strategically located in sunny Arizona because Arizona offers the best integrative medical laws in the country. Call today to speak with one of their patient care coordinators. You can find them online at invita.com.

Line Voice thanks Invita Medical for the continued support. Please reach them at 1-866-830-4576. Welcome, Line Voice listeners! So glad to have you today.

I—

on the mic, we have Sarah as well. We're back on the mic once again.

Happy to be here.

And today we have a great interview with Mr. Kyle Willis. He was featured on the COVID of Men's Fitness. He also has Lyme disease, which is a very interesting thing because how did— and he's actively dealing with it. He caught— what did he say?

He was like, has had a headache for 10 years and yeah, been fighting it since he was little and only operating—

he's not operating at 100%. And he's still able to physically achieve this, which most normal people don't. So it's a really interesting conversation. I know you guys are gonna like it.

Yeah, and he's a phenomenal human being. It was fun. It's been fun just getting to know him over the last couple of months.

Yeah, we were already talking about having him on again if he's willing, because he— it was really good stuff and we really enjoyed talking with him.

Yeah.

Um, a little housekeeping stuff. Uh, let's see. Oh, the Live Lime Conference.

Yes, the Live Lime Summit is coming up September 21st and 22nd here in Colorado, in our own backyard, Westminster, Colorado, in this beautiful area.

The venue is fantastic. Yeah, it's a really nice upscale part of town. It's very nice. The hotel is great.

I think they had about 200 people last year and expecting maybe closer to 300 this year.

Yeah, but definitely growing.

If you guys are in the area, we will have a table. Aaron and I will both be there that weekend. We'll have a table and, um, come and meet us. Yeah, we would love that. That would be awesome.

We would love—

we got to meet so many people 2 years ago when we went.

Last year, wasn't it? Didn't we go last year?

Oh, it was, cuz this is the second annual, right? Oh gosh, that was last year.

A lot has happened.

Long year.

A lot has happened in the last year.

Oh my gosh, I can't believe that was only one year ago.

Jeez.

So yeah, come say hi to us. It was so fun last year getting to meet a bunch of listeners and people that we've been able to connect with.

And yeah, and we'll have the link, of course, but to find out more information, go to livelymefoundation.org. And I'm going to spell that for you because it's abbreviated. L-I-V-L-Y-M-E-F-O-U-N-D-A t-i-o-n.org. LiveLymeFoundation.org.

I don't think you needed to spell it, but—

well, I mean, I would have spelled it L-I-V-E, but that's me.

Oh yeah.

Anyway, now they have the complete information, and the show notes will have a link. What else is going on? Oh, uh, we wanted to tell them about more water. We have been— not— you've heard us talk a little bit about water on commercials before, but we really like our water machine. It electrolyzed reduced water.

It ionizes and it adds antioxidants.

And that's just— and that's for the drinking part. And we've noticed an immediate, almost an immediate change in your health by drinking this water. But what I really want to talk about today was the uses in the kitchen. We use the electrolyzed reduced water in our kitchen for many uses, and it's all chemical-free. If you would like to find out more information about this, please text me at 505-681-1770. I would be glad to give you more information, and you can also go to limewater.com and that is our website, and it shows you more about what the water can do. There's a whole bunch of informative videos that are very well done on there. You guys will enjoy them, and it'll show you more what electrolyzed reduced water can do for you. So now that the housekeeping is done, on to the interview. I know you guys are going to enjoy this, and, uh, make sure you subscribe and review our podcast And that way you can get all the new updates of new shows coming out, and it also helps other people find Lion Voice. So please do that on whatever platform you're listening. Go to lionvoice.com for more information. Thank you.

Hi guys, I want to let you know about a book I wrote called Little Bite, Big Trouble, and I'm going to read a review that recently came in. This is from Carolyn, and she says "Thank you so much for writing your book. It has become the means by which I have explained Lyme to my 4-year-olds. They ask for it to be read as a bedtime story over and over again and love that the mama birdie does yoga and juicing like their mommy. I can't thank you enough for writing this book. It has helped my family so much." You can find it today at Amazon.com, Little Bite, Big Trouble. Welcome, welcome, welcome to today's episode, The Confusion with Lyme Lyme disease, especially chronic Lyme, knows no bounds, and the treatments that work for some people vary and don't work for others. So access to a competent physician is limited by so many things, by geography, by socioeconomics, and it's this long-term battle that people are fighting, and it can be lonely and exhausting. And today's guest I believe will not only serve to inspire you but also add to the confusion of life with chronic Lyme. So I will explain. Um, despite battling Lyme since the age of 13, Kyle was just featured on the COVID of Men's Fitness magazine, and he looks incredible and fit and robust, and yet he would say that he's only operating at about 35% right now. And I'm looking at his picture knowing that I couldn't even walk or breathe or do anything for so many years. And he's on the COVID of Men's Fitness magazine. And it's just seriously so confusing to me. I get why people are confused by Lyme. I have had it twice now and each time just dealt with very different symptomology and issues. And so I am so excited to have Kyle here because I feel like He will just offer us some insight into being our best selves, not ignoring the fitness and physical side of things when you're dealing with so many symptoms, but just that in spite of the losses and the complexities of what we are all dealing with emotionally, physically, financially, we can still accomplish big things. Kyle, thank you so much for being with us today.

Yeah, Sarah, thank you so much for having me. I love what you and Aaron are about and what you're doing and getting the word out. So I'm blessed to be a part of it.

Awesome. So Kyle, give us an overview of your early journey with Lyme. How old are you now?

Yeah, so I just celebrated my 26th birthday in May.

Okay. Okay. So you've been dealing with Lyme for what? 16 years?

Yeah, I mean, I really say 10 years and it gets super confusing, so I'll kind of take you from the beginning to where we are today.

Which level of chaos at what season of my life would you like to talk about?

Exactly. So yeah, it's kind of crazy. I grew up in southern New Hampshire, about 30 minutes north of Boston, and as we know, New England, um, you know, sort of the epicenter of Lyme disease. It's where it all started, Lyme, Connecticut. And honestly, Lyme disease where I'm from is considered, you know, pretty much the common cold. Doctors know about it. Kids are coming into doctors' offices all the time with the bullseye rash and swollen joints and all of that stuff. So I was super grateful in a sense that when I contracted Lyme disease, we caught it immediately. So I remember I got this really weird rash. I was about 12, 13 years old. Showed my mom, and we kind of just like took some Benadryl, slept it off. And the next day I woke up, my elbows and my knees were swollen to the size of cantaloupes. And it's now a kind of a running joke if you ask my mom, but we were essentially just writing it off as puberty. It was that— it was that time of my life. So, you know, we gave it a couple more days and then a fever came and this other stuff. She's like, all right, we got to get you to the doctor. So we kind of went in. Ran a Western blot. At the time, I had tested for 13 out of the 14 known strains, and it was kind of, I guess, in their eyes, one of the worst cases that they had seen in that office. My primary care physician put me on 2 weeks of doxycycline, and I was completely healed, like literally no symptoms whatsoever. And so that happened when I was 12 to 13. And moving into kind of high school after a series of events. I bring this up because, as we all know, this disease is super complex, right? I broke my collarbone, I ruptured my spleen skateboarding, I went through a really tough breakup. Like, all of these different stressors in my life seemed to create this perfect scenario where, like, Lyme was either laying dormant or I got reinfected, and it was just the perfect environment to really mess me up. So, you know, through high school I was a multi-sport all-state athlete. I played varsity soccer and volleyball. And I remember my senior year of high school, started getting these really bad headaches and started taking ibuprofen. They just wouldn't go away. And I'm blessed to come from a family where my mom always had good food on the table. I was always eating lean proteins and vegetables and water. Like, I'm super, super grateful. And so something just wasn't adding up. Wasn't allergies. We ran all the tests, yada yada, and it was my mom who said, hey, let's test for Lyme disease again. And sure enough, I go back and I test extremely positive on the Western blot. So my primary care, she put me on 90 days of tetracycline. I didn't see any improvement. I actually kept getting worse. And so she referred me to an LLMD, a Lyme literate medical doctor, about 30 minutes from my house. And it was such a crazy experience because I remember, I remember sort of this timeframe, it was about within 6 months where everything went downhill. I went from this stud athlete feeling good to like having heart problems. And it was debilitating. I couldn't exercise. I couldn't do much without this fear of like, oh my gosh, my heart's literally gonna stop. It's skipping beats. It's not beating fast enough. It's beating too slow. And so it just seemed like one symptom after the next. And for the— that went on for about 4 years of kind of just testing. In my eyes, I was sort of a lab rat where I'd go in, I'd get 2 to 3 different antibiotics, test them out for a month or 2, come back, see how I'm feeling. And for the most part, I just had more symptoms. Like, it was just more and more symptoms. And at one point I remember I was consistently urinating blood and I would go into the doctor and fill up a cup, a sample with like red urine and hand it to them. And their, you know, their conclusion was that it's because I exercise so much. I told you I was an athlete. I got started in the gym right when I was about 16.

You have blood in your urine because you're an athlete.

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's— I don't want to say it's common, but like in CrossFit and things like that, like rhabdo is common.

It's okay. Okay.

But that's not supposed to happen when you're just like going throughout the north, your normal day, right? I wasn't here trying to try out for the CrossFit Games. I'd work out throughout the week and play sports, right? So it just didn't add up. I knew something wasn't right. And I just kind of just kept pushing forward. I mean, what are you gonna do? You know, you have doctors telling you, hey, this is what you have. Here's how we'll treat it. I can guarantee you'll be better in 18 months. And so I just rolled with the punches. Um, and after 4 years of testing, going through college— I played club volleyball at the University of New Hampshire. Um, I don't know how I made it through that time of my life. Um, it was, it was just pure madness. I remember countless times where I'd be in class and my heart would get stuck in this arrhythmia where it would skip 2 beats, beat 3 times wicked fast, stop, skip 2 more beats, like scary, scary stuff. And I'd run over to health services, which is like the emergency room on campus, and they'd tell me that like I have family problems, that I'm just going through like your normal stress that a college kid goes through. And what they were trying to just throw like antidepressants and all this stuff at me. I just couldn't believe kind of the situation that I was in. And I truly felt helpless. It was a, it was a really sad period of my life. And this just led to another host of issues, right? Because you're obviously dealing with all these physical problems. But with that, like, I'm still a college student. I'm still trying to make friends and meet people, get an education. I was running my own business. I had all of these other things that I was doing. And now it's like you're basically wearing a 200-pound weight vest all the time. Is what it felt like.

Yeah, that's a really good description.

I mean, I— my wife always laughs because I always draw these analogies back to the gym because it's just something I'm extremely passionate about, health and fitness, after going through this stuff. Um, but it's true, it was like wearing a 200-pound weight vest. And so, you know, throughout my college years, wanted to make friends, I wanted to meet people, and it was just this big-time party scene. And after not getting better, basically my freshman year, I just sat in my dorms and, and took all my medicines at the right time, and my probiotics were in the fridge, and I was drinking special types of water and going home on the weekends, just doing everything that I could to control what I could control so that I could get better and move on. And I didn't get better. And so sophomore and junior year, I pretty much was just like, hey, I'm gonna try to be like a kid. I want to go out and drink on the weekends with my friends and meet people and meet girls and do all this stuff. And it's a very slippery slope when you feel your best— the only time that you feel good is when you're under the influence of, of alcohol. And so that was another battle that I had to face, was like, okay, I'm drinking with all my friends, everyone else is drinking, but this seems more of like an escape from this crazy reality which is chronic Lyme disease. And so after years of Interesting. You can see what I'm saying, right?

Oh, totally. Like, they're drinking to have a party and have a good time, and you're drinking to escape.

Yeah, exactly. Well, it started off as like, I want to party and have a good time too with my friends, right? And I've noticed that like, when I was doing that, I was like, oh my gosh, this is amazing, I'm not sick. And then I'd wake up the next morning and be hungover for a week. And I'm like, man, what is going on? Like, I don't consider myself like I don't think I was an alcoholic, but to me, looking at it, that's definitely a problem. And, and so I had to certainly address that. And I remember waking up one morning, um, it was actually— it's gonna be 5 years in like a week or two here— but I remember waking up one morning at my parents' house in New Hampshire, and I literally just like, I was, I was just done. I remember waking up and just being I don't know if it was God, if I was praying to God, what it was, but I was just like, man, I am done with this. If anything is going to change in my life, no one's going to just do it for me. I'm not just going to magically wake up and somebody's going to tie my shoes for me. I'm going to walk out that door and do something differently. I'm the one that has to take action.

Yeah.

And it was that day that I just said, I'm never drinking again. This isn't going to help me heal from chronic Lyme. Obviously, it's been 4 years now. And so I remember, yeah, I remember that just being like this crazy moment. And I don't know how far you want me to go into this because the next chapter is sort of me deciding I'm gonna drive 3,000 miles across the country to California. So you tell me, Sarah, how you kind of want to navigate.

You know, this is the perfect segue because what we talk about all the time is that fighting is a mindset. It is not necessarily a physical act as much as it is a mindset. And so one of the things I wanted to ask you is to take us back to 2 or 3 of those aha key moments throughout your journey where you made those decisions that empowered you to fight for your health in a new way or opened a new door. And I mean, I've gone through a very similar experience of my entire life is out of control. I have 5 kids, so I have to get up and feed them and, you know, and then at the same time was completely completely disabled for about 8 years. And so you have to choose those battles, and that to me, you have to choose them over and over and over again. Like, it's not just one breakthrough, it's all these little tiny steps. But those little tiny steps over years, that decision for you to not drink, the decision for me, one of my decisions more recently has just been like no sugar. Like, I'm not doing sugar, even fruits and stuff. Like, I'll do a few berries, but I'm very— I try to be very careful because I've seen over the years all these little micro tasks add up to have completely changed my life in a healthy way. So yeah, tell us, start then and there. You made a decision and you were like, oh, wait a minute, I have to fix this. I have to be my own hero.

Yeah, totally. I mean, the first, the first step for me for sure was just getting to that low point. And like having, you know, this bird's eye view of my life and what it currently was, and what I wanted it to be and understanding if I just keep going down this path, like it's not, I'm not going to get to where I know I could go. And so actually alcohol for me was, was really big at that time too. When I did that, I lost a lot of my friends, which was really hurtful. I remember spending a lot of nights just hanging out with my parents. And I love my parents to death, but like every kid wants to hang out with kids, you know?

That's interesting, Kyle. I would not have thought that, but of course that would happen because you're not hanging out in the same scenes.

Yeah, exactly. It's just a totally different scene. And yeah, you know, you did— I did for sure have a few that stuck around and stuff, but it, it was so easy for me to want to be a victim. It was so easy for me to look around and be like, oh, this is their fault, you know, like this. But when you take yourself out of that place and you can look at it from an unbiased perspective and you can say, listen, like, it's not your fault, like, this isn't your fault. I didn't decide to give myself Lyme disease. I believe that I've been allowed to go through this to inspire other people, which is, I mean, essentially why we're here today. And so, so alcohol— cutting alcohol was a big thing. The next big aha moment for me after leaving school— so I left the University of New Hampshire, I transferred to a smaller D3 school that had a really good indoor volleyball program. And I remember in October, one of my buddies was getting his master's degree out in California. I came out to California to visit him for a week and And back home, I just felt like I'd never really been to California before, but I felt like I was supposed to be in California. I dressed as if I was from Southern California. I talked as if I was. It was just like a really weird thing. And I came out to visit him for a week and we played beach volleyball literally from sunrise to sunset every single day. And there was this crazy pull. I remember being on the flight back. Leaving LAX, and there was something that was just like, you gotta, you gotta get here. Like, whatever it takes, you need to be here.

I remember you found something that resonated with you, something.

There was something there. I physically felt better when I was in California, and I believe it. I can't— you can't explain that. Yeah, in any other way than like, I just physically felt better when I was here, whether it was the sun or the air or not being stressed about my environment back home. I don't know. I'm not sure. All I knew is I felt great and there was some pull and I had to make it happen.

So you switched your environment. That was a big breakthrough for you.

Big time.

Okay.

Big time.

That's fascinating, Kyle, because we've had the exact same experience. When you said that, like, I've always been this beach person and wanted to dress this way, like, we moved to Colorado 2 years ago and we felt exactly that way. We found this quiet little mountain town that has this very calming energy. We're surrounded by aspen groves. I mean, I've got my windows open and I can hear the aspen trees. And I would have discredited atmosphere and environment when I was strong and healthy and productive. I would have been like, who cares, just get your work done, no big deal. And having like all that stripped away, I have realized— I can't even explain it, but I have like It has healed my heart to be out here around nature for the last 2 years.

Totally. Yeah. I mean, I'm fully on board with that, right? Like, if you live in a city and not to bash cities by any means, but like the craziness, the hustle and bustle, the stimulation, you can, you can go insane. And there's something always peaceful about going camping or just going and sitting at the beach. Like, there's a reason why that's so special. And for me, at this point in my life, I knew if I wasn't, if I didn't go, I might not ever go. I didn't have a wife. I didn't have, there weren't really any strings attached. I have my parents. I was 3 and a half years into my college degree. And I said, well, what's the worst thing that happens? I go out, it doesn't work. I come back and finish school. Like it's not the end of the world. And so I pulled the trigger. It was the end of October. I came out to visit. I packed up my car the first week of January in 2015. And I drove out across the country with my wife one of my older brothers. And essentially from there, I moved in with my really close friend who I told you was getting his master's degree. I moved, I lived in student dorms for 9 months and I got into the real estate game. I had one connection from my mom and this lady lived in Southern California. She dominated the Orange County real estate market. She said if I ever made it to Southern California, she would meet me. And I showed up at her door in a suit and she gave me a job on the spot. And so like, those are kind of some of the, the things that it required for me to get to a point where I was just like, holy crap, I can do this. And just built on that foundation of like, when you take steps forward and you start small, right? Like, yeah, sure, I did pack up in 3 months and go to California, but there was so much that happened before that that allowed me to get to a place mentally Yes. Where I was like, you know what, I can do it. Because I was still really, really sick. Like, I was still really— that was the only thing that really felt as if it was holding me back. I had a business, I had enough to get out here and get on my feet, I had a place to stay. There really wasn't anything other than the fact that like I was still really, really sick on all these medications. And yeah, it was just so bizarre, but everything lined up and I got to the point where I said, you know what, If I don't go now, I'm never going to go, and I can do this. I know I can do this. And I went.

Hmm. So you started small, but you tapped into something that, um, took me a while to learn, just as far as energy and act. When you find something that resonates with you, that makes you feel good, that, you know, gets you in that flow state easier, it's powerful. And it's powerful to act on that. And one of the things I have found with Lyme is sometimes it's so dehumanizing on so many levels, and you start to doubt yourself that sometimes— for me, it was really hard to even know what I wanted anymore. Yeah, because I totally didn't know, or what I wanted I couldn't have, or— so it's really confusing. But you tapped into something there where you're like, you know what, for some reason I feel good here, and that is important. And when you don't feel good and something gives you energy You wanna hold on to that sucker, man.

Totally. Well, here's what happens, right? Because I, I believe most people who are suffering from chronic Lyme disease have gone to numerous doctors who have made these false promises, told them, hey, if you do this, you'll get this. And for the most part, my hopes and dreams were smashed doctor after doctor.

Yeah.

And they tell me, hey, you're gonna be good. And I wasn't good. I was actually worse. So I put my hope in a human being and that didn't satisfy my soul. And so here I was, left broken, like, all right, what am I gonna do? Because if I go to another doctor, like, I don't want to be jaded by any means, and I feel like, like, I'm so grateful for, um, you know, the medical professionals that we have and the advancements in medicine. I feel super grateful. And this by no means is like a, uh, an attempt to bash Lyme doctors, because the truth is most of them are doing the best they can. Exactly. That's— it's such a confusing illness. Like, you see, there are some people in wheelchairs. It's easy to look at someone with a broken leg and say, hey, they got a broken leg. It's really hard for someone to look at me and say, hey, he's really, really, really sick. That's a really difficult place to be.

Have you watched the show Stranger Things, or do you know the concept?

Yeah, absolutely.

I, um My son kept trying to get me to watch the show, and I watched a few episodes, and I'm like, buddy, I get this. Like, I know everybody's on board with the show, and I said, I physically cannot watch this show because it just reminds me of living life with Lyme disease, where there's this alternate dysfunctional horrid reality that no one else acknowledges, and that's the only thing, and you're stuck in it, and no one even sees that you're stuck in this disgusting reality. And so I'm like, I cannot watch this show. It's too personal.

Yeah, it really is like the upside down because everything you do, like, you have to plan for. You can't just go for a walk. You can't just book a vacation. Like, it's, it's not how it works because you're gonna think like, well, what happens if I have an episode and then I need to get off the plane? And I know for me with the heart stuff, That still hovers over me today, and it's a lot better, but there was this constant fear, this constant voice being like, hey, you can't go do that because if you do, you'll have another one of those episodes. Remember the one you had 2 weeks ago? Yeah, that's gonna happen again. Yeah. And so you're— if you're not careful, your mind becomes conditioned to think that you can't do anything, and so then you end up just being stuck and helpless, essentially.

Totally, Kyle. I mean, I— because my— I had two big symptoms for a long time, and I did not know what I had for 17 years. I dealt with symptoms before I finally got a diagnosis. So, you know, there's so much, um, psychological damage that you do to yourself. Um, and for mine, it was breathing and feeling like I, I couldn't breathe. Like, if I got walking up the stairs, any level of cardio would make me not be able to breathe. I couldn't get my heart rate up very high at all. And so it just became this process of, oh shoot, I totally lost my train of thought.

Well, I also have some of those breathing issues as well, where I feel like I'm not getting enough air. And it's almost as if my brain doesn't understand the concept of breathing. And so I panic because I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm not breathing, but I'm breathing just fine. It's like such a neurological thing.

See, that's funny because I couldn't breathe for a long time, but I really could not breathe. This time when I got reinfected in 2018, I have had the same similar heart stuff. And so for me, what has changed drastically from one infection to this one is this one I've been able to keep exercising, so I feel really good, but I have had a ton of heart racing and heart issues. And sometimes when I exercise, it makes it go away and it actually makes it feel better, and sometimes it doesn't.

Yeah, I mean I can relate to that 100%.

Yeah, sometimes I'm like, okay, I'm not feeling good, I'm super shaky, but I'm just gonna go do it and I can push through it and I feel really good and my heart regulates. And then sometimes it just makes it worse. So that's a hard balance of like knowing when to push and when to hold back, right? Especially if you tell yourself— oh, okay, I remembered. I couldn't bend over. I have 5 kids. I couldn't bend over and pick something up off the ground because I— when I went to stand up, I would literally pass out. So for years I would tell myself, don't bend over, don't bend over, don't pick up, don't bend over. So when that no longer— you know, 4 years later when that symptom went away, when I actually went through treatment, I had to start telling myself, it's okay to bend over, it's okay to bend over. But Kyle, I probably did that like 50 times a day. It was so dumb. Like, years For years I would be like, oh no, it's okay to bend over. And I still to this day will have to do things where I'm like, I'll find myself saying, oh, I don't have the energy to do that. And I'm like, no, I can choose to spend energy on that task.

But that's right, battle totally. And it over— honestly, I'm super grateful just because the level of just persistence and resilience that I've experienced, I'm sure you can totally relate. Like when you're doing any sort of weight training, right? Say you're doing pull-ups with a 50-pound weight vest on. You are going to get so strong. You're not going to be able to do as many at first. If you can do 10 or 15 pull-ups without a weighted vest, you're probably not gonna be able to do 10 or 15 pull-ups with a weighted vest at first. But eventually, like, you will expedite that strength gaining process. And so I feel that's what Lyme has been for me. And I'm super, super grateful now that I'm starting to actually heal. I've gotten— I'm starting to get better over the course of even just the last 3 to 6 months. I've actually been able to start to do a little bit of cardio again. And I can tell you right now, when God decides like, hey man, you're good, you're 100%, I feel like I'm gonna go enter the CrossFit Games. I'm gonna run ultra marathons. I'm gonna do every Spartan race known to man. Like, I just feel like I'm nervous. I don't know what that's gonna look like, but I'm so excited.

Okay, you said something because I totally get you. Like, I pretty much exercise every day. I cannot wait to compete in one of those Spartan races. Like, one of my goals in 2019 is to feel like an athlete again, right? So I have a couple goals in mind and I've been building up to it. But you said Lyme is a tremendous weight, and now that I'm feeling better, I When that weight gets released, then you're like, oh yeah, I'm ready to like rock and roll, right? Because I've been through this process, you know, a couple years ago. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm ready to take over the world again. And then I got reinfected. And so I think that's another really hard thing is building your— you want to take all that strength and that training that came through Lyme and then use it for something beneficial, right? To do something, but you can, but you're still so constrained by not feeling good in the moment.

Totally. Yeah.

Yeah.

I see where you're going. I think, but I think for you too, like this second bout, again, I'm not in your shoes, but what I can say is you and I both know, like I've had a headache for 10 years straight. It's never gone away. The severity of it has, has varied, but it's never gone away. I've literally had a headache for 10 years, so I don't know what it's like to not have a headache anymore. And so when something happens, like, you know, say I pull something in the gym or my stomach hurts or whatever it is, to me, it's just like, oh, that's whatever.

Right?

You know? It's like soldiers who have gotten shot at and they're like, dude, what are you complaining about? Like, what do you— you got a headache? What are you talking about?

Right.

Like, there's always someone that's gone through more. And so you— I bet like it has— was your second battle with Lyme? Easier, I guess, is a good word.

Yeah, you're right. It, for sure, on, on a lot of levels it really was. It was more emotionally traumatic because I had to face the darkness again, you know. Um, and then even I really felt like I lost my voice, um, even in within talking to the Lyme community. Like, I didn't know what to say because I had been in the recovery side and now I wasn't again. And just really, and then really dealing with cognitive fatigue on a lot of levels. That was really something that has happened this last year. And so it's— it was different, but 100%, Kyle, you're totally right. I— we have already been down this road and learned, and so our mindsets were different. And honestly, we've talked about it, but I think this time around my husband grew the most. Aaron has changed and he is on board in new ways and he is taking care of himself and managing his energy and all these things that when you have nothing, when you don't have energy or time or resources, so you have to pick and choose very carefully, it has gotten us to this point where it was like, oh, okay, we know how to do this better, more efficiently, quicker, you know, it's there's a huge tremendous value and gain to our lives after going through Lyme.

Um, there's totally— and there's still losses, but yeah, there are for sure. I think about one thing that I always come back to when I'm struggling mentally with where I'm at and what I'm doing. I have these vivid memories of sitting in my dorm room while a lot of other people were out partying and meeting people. This was my freshman year, and doing all this research online trying to find someone that I could relate to, someone that was going through this because I didn't know anyone. I felt so alone that I would go to these chat rooms. I'd meet some people. I'd talk to them about my symptoms. If they somewhat matched up, because as we know, Lyme is such a crazy illness. Like sometimes people's symptoms don't match up at all.

Right.

And so I was trying to find someone who had heart issues, who was an athlete, and I couldn't, like I literally couldn't find them. And so For me, I go back and I, I just look at that 18-year-old kid who was sitting in there just super depressed, so alone, struggling just to find some glimmer of hope, and I couldn't find him. Like, I'm on a mission to do my best to be that person for, for the people that are looking for that. Because like, we're here, we're— I believe that we're here for— we're here for people. Like, you go through what you go through so that you can inspire someone else that's going through what they go through, whether it's illness or not. Like, life inevitably is going to be difficult. It's super beautiful, but everybody eventually has to face death, illness, loss of any sort, adversity. Like, you're going to face challenges in your life. And so I feed off of people. I feed off of helping people. I feed off of learning from people. Like, everyone has something to teach you because everybody goes through different things, right? It's just whether or not you're receptive to to seeing it that way and not be jaded by your own circumstances because that's also another confusing challenge of Lyme is to not be like the victim, to not say, oh man, I wish I could go out and do that. It's so hard.

It's so hard. One of the things, I mean, I have not been on the mic a lot in the last 6 months 'cause I just didn't know how to talk about it, you know, or didn't know really what to say. But, and even my mom, my mom would always say in different context, you know, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And I really felt like, because I was very much feeling like a victim and I didn't want to say that, I did not have a lot to say. Or if you don't have, you know, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. And so there was all these like things that were kind of bubbling up where I was like, I don't know how to talk about this and not be a victim. And so I couldn't. I mean, sometimes I could spin it and, you know, but it's— it is— it's a process, and it's a process that you go through again and again and again that almost no one in your life understands. And when we did the first podcast— in fact, Aaron's about to get a tattoo of a signal, our podcast signal. You know when you read an image signal? Yeah, I'm using the wrong term, but he is going to get a tattoo because he said, sweetie, why are we doing this podcast? And I said to because we don't want people to suffer the way I did. Because I was in the same boat. Here I am, a mom. I used to run a business and had signed over— couldn't run my business, even show up at the office. And I'm like, there's no one in my world who looks like me. I don't know anyone who can't get better after multiple years. Like, what the heck is happening here? And so you're right, we're he— we're here to help other people's suffering stop. And it's so cathartic and it's so empowering when someone else doesn't have to suffer to that extent, or they find a doctor 6 months faster, or they understand the need for supplements and all those things. So those are all choices. And so let's get into those choices because you— for nearly 2 decades, Invita Medical Center has been leading the way with the latest in personalized treatment options designed for patients dealing with Lyme disease complex. At Invita Medical Center, they offer a team-style approach and the latest technology regarding treatment and testing at an unmatched radical love and care environment for their patients. Call to speak to one of the patient care coordinators today to learn why hundreds of patients choose Invita Medical Center each year. You can find them online at invita.com. And so let's get into those choices because you've been talking about mindset. Here's the mindsets that, okay, I need to take back my own power and stop giving it away to a medical community that's failing me. What does that look like? I need to harness my energy to maximize my efforts. So what were some of the choices that empowered your ability to keep going forward? Because you did that, it seems like, really well.

Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't say that. It was and is and I think will forever be a very messy process. But I just remember this feeling of like, I asking deeper questions about life. And I'm because, right, you like when you go through this, you are thinking a lot about death. Anybody that's going through like a serious chronic illness where, I mean, Lyme can be fatal, you know, um, yeah, like that definitely comes across your mind a lot. And so for me, it was about asking that question, like, what the heck am I doing here? Like, what am I doing here? How did I get here? Trying to make sense of, of that, because I didn't believe that I was just here to suffer from Lyme and then die and sit below the ground for eternity. Like, that to me didn't add up. Yeah. And so I just started asking some deeper questions and trying to go out and just figure out, like, the heck am I doing here? I was doing yoga and I was doing all sorts of things. And for me, it was God. Like, I found God. I found a lot of purpose in everything that I've gone through. I found so much meaning and understanding. But that's a very personal journey that someone has to be willing to go on. And you can either suppress it or you can press into it. And what I learned is like, the more you press into something, the more juice you're going to get out of it. And so for me, it was that big question, what the heck am I doing here? And then from there, it was coming up with an actionable plan, actually drawing out like, who do I want to be? Where do I want to be? And then how am I going to get there? Because if you don't have certain goals in mind, right? Like for anyone that's in the fitness industry, if you're just like, yeah, I'm going to get in shape, like, okay, let's see it. Most people don't get in really good shape. But for me, after getting into this whole like modeling business, if I knew I had a shoot coming up in 6 weeks, I was going to get in really good shape in those 6 weeks. Well, at least as good of shape as I could physically get in dealing with what I've been dealing with. And so I think it was like just having an understanding of who you are, who you want to be, and then coming up with a plan on how you're going to get there. And also Understanding, like, you don't know everything. I don't know everything. I've had to ask so many questions, and I used to be so receptive to help, and I truly believe it was because I was so jaded after being told doctor after doctor, hey, you're gonna get better. When I would reach out to them, be like, hey, can you help me? Yeah, I can. Here's a pill, take it, do this, you'll feel better. And then I didn't feel better. So for me, I didn't want to go out and ask for help anymore. Because it wasn't helping. It was actually making me worse. So I was kind of afraid to ask for help.

Oh, totally.

Which is, I think, pretty common now that I've talked to enough people who have dealt with this, you know.

I'm— I am— that was being reinfected. I've had serious PTSD, like having to go back into those situations with physicians or professionals that I don't trust. Same big thing. I told I ended up— I got treated at Invita in 2013, and I went back there and just got home from treatment again. And I told them, I said, honestly, like, working with a physician I do not trust is terrifying. Like, going into the ER, it's just like they don't—

they don't know, and they're doing the best that they can. It's not that they're not doing the best that they can. I believe they are. I believe that. But it's so confusing when you come in, you're like I have an ice pick headache. My heart's not beating properly. My feet are ice cold, and I think I have shingles. They're like, whoa.

And they're like, oh, your blood work looks fine.

Yeah, your blood work's fine.

Let's give you some saline and we'll shoot you out the door and bill you $700.

Yeah. Yeah. I know. It's, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's super confusing. But there is hope and there are people that are getting better. But you need to go out and figure out what works best for you, because I don't think there is an answer yet. Otherwise, people would be getting better left and right. Like, man, there are people harvesting their own bees and stinging themselves with the bees to get better. Like, people are going to these lengths just to see some sort of relief, you know? Um, oh yeah, it's so crazy. Such a crazy thing.

So, you know, it's interesting because you said you started— it does— pain and suffering brings you to this point where you do have to start asking those questions, those deeper questions. Who am I? And then who do I want to be? And for me, you— so you said through your journey you found God, and you, I, I'm assuming, developed a deeper spiritual life through that.

Totally.

Okay, so this is fascinating. I read while I was out at treatment this summer, I read The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck, and he has authored a ton of books. He's been around since the '80s, and it's called A New Psychology of Love: Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth. And he talks about that when people go through very stressful times, they usually have one of two reactions. One, they find God, or one, they find— or they remove God from their life. And, you know, it's a spectrum. And it was really interesting because I grew up in a really religious family, but different religious church environment. And my dad and my father-in-law were both pastors and stuff. But the way I feel like I had to strip away a lot of religion to give myself permission to find out who I was and who I wanted to be. And so that's been my journey over the last few years, is less religion. And yeah, I know. So when you said that, I was like, oh my gosh, that's exactly what he was referring to. And I heard a comedian say the other day on one of the Netflix specials, he said religion is like salt, like it's— some is good, too much will ruin it. And I don't— I'm not saying it was right or wrong or anything, but I just thought You know what, it's interesting because for me, we've had these like deep, um, there's been a lot of morals and character and family values that have come from our religious upbringing that we're really, really thankful for. But for me especially, when I was not getting better within the religious community, if you believe that God is sovereign over all things, some people, many people, I know a lot of people who believe that if they're sick it's because God wants them to be sick. So then if God wants you to be sick, you shouldn't fight against it. So those were things I had to work through. I had to like give myself permission to keep seeking treatment because I was being told, oh, I think this is what God wants for you.

So that's interesting.

Yeah, but for me, as I stripped away that religion, my spirituality actually enhanced a lot. Because I was free to be who I was. I was free to— and fitness is actually one of the examples I've used, um, in my own life, is I never had the freedom to actually go forward and pursue fitness as a true hobby. Yeah. And so that's one of my goals this year, and I'm— it's been really fun and it's been really exciting. But that— those were all those choices where I had to think deeply for years, and then spend years getting there.

Totally. I mean, I think it's like, right, like you, you were made the way you were made. I was made the way I was made. I don't think it's a coincidence that like everyone goes on this personal journey. And obviously, we are impacted by our environments, the way you were raised, things like that. For me, I was raised going to a Catholic church once in a while, like we'd go once in a while, my parents tried to do a good job of bringing us there. But I never understood, like, it was me and my brothers making fun of the songs. Like, there wasn't any sort of, you know what I mean? Like, I love what they were trying to do, but it— I had to go through everything that I went through to kind of like strip away all of this crap for me to have sort of, like you said, this, this freedom to explore. Yeah. And explore on my own. And I think that was when things really started to click. And when I started asking those questions for me, Like, it's not that he didn't show up. Like, I remember being 18 years old in my dorm room at the University of New Hampshire praying to I don't know who, but I remember praying, and I remember writing goodbye notes to my parents because my heart was that messed up. I would write a letter telling my parents that I love them, the date, just in case I didn't wake up. Like, it was that bad, and it was really, really scary. And so when you're face to face with that, you can't help but think, like, what's next? And so I think I had to go through all of that to really understand and try to seek out like, what is next? And like, God, if you're real, like, show me that you're real. Like, show me, like, I'm here, I wanna know you, I wanna know what's best for me. I can't do this on my own, I've tried. Like, I know I can't do this on my own. So it was like, yeah, it's a very unique personal experience. And I think it's so purposeful though. I don't think that he just says, hey, you have Lyme disease, go through this, I don't like you. I think he loves us so much. I think he allows for certain things to happen so that we can then be in this position where I think you and I both are, where we're able to inspire. And there are a lot of people listening to your podcast. There are a lot of people watching. There are a lot of people who, who reach out to me and say, thank you so much for doing what you're doing. I wasn't able to do this before, and I started following you and taking your advice, and now I'm here. Like, those are the stories. That's why I do what I do. Yeah, that's it.

So Kyle, give us an example. You mentioned writing up an actionable plan. Give us an example of how to do that, because I feel like one of the most destructive things for me was, um, when you're— the way you feel varies from one day to the next so extremely and you don't have any energy, writing up an actionable plan can be really hard because it can get thrown, thrown out instantly. You're like, oh, I'm going to the ER today.

Um, totally.

And so for me, like, I had to start with little things, like literally get dressed. Um, like, on days where my brain didn't work, I had lists written out for everything, like the order in which I put my makeup on, the order in which I got dressed. Like, I had to relearn how to do everything without pain because that pain was the only voice in my head for so many years. And so once that voice quieted, um, I had like learn how to ponder and think again.

Yeah.

And so how, for me, I've just had to learn to do things like in little micro tasks. That's the only way I can like really get things done. But how do you write that up? Where do you start, I guess?

Yeah. Well, you just said it. You, you start the, the first step in my opinion is, is start with what you have. And for me, a good example with the ups and downs, and you can see it not only in my physical appearance, but if you've ever talked to me and get to know me, like there are just so many ups and downs and they're not nearly as radical. Like they used to go from 100 to 0 real quick and now like it's not nearly as severe. And so obviously, you know, fitness, nutrition, all of these things, like I said no to antibiotics. I stopped taking everything that I was on. Which I still have pictures of the trash bag full of prescription pills. It was disgusting. I stopped cold turkey as soon as I got out here and I just started working out and it was the start. I remember I would— I got a gym membership. I would go to the gym and I would check in, I'd scan my phone, and then I'd turn around and go right back home. So I would start by going there and like literally just going to the gym.

How many times did you do that?

I can't even tell you. I don't know.

Was it a week or was it like weeks?

I mean, probably a week or two was the— was probably like in this specific instance, interesting, where I'd go and then I'd turn around and then I would go and I'd go on the treadmill and then I would turn it on and I would walk for a minute and then I would leave and then I would come back the next day and I'd walk for 5 minutes. You know, I don't necessarily remember how progressive it was. All I can remember is the way that my mind was working. And it was like, if you can just slowly build on what you have over time— I mean, think about it. Think about if you saved a dollar every single day that you've been alive so far on this planet, right? You know what I mean? And then maybe start saving $2. Like, it's all about this kind of compound interest where you just slowly but surely build. So my first piece of advice would be just start. Start with what you have. If you're able to listen to this podcast right now, That means you are alive. You didn't do anything really to be alive today. You just woke up because you woke up, and you can start with whatever you have today, which is incredible. Um, so building out an actionable plan, starting super small and just slowly building on it. Everybody's timeline to success is going to be different. You may not just be able to get up and run. Like, there are people out there who are like, hey, I want to be able to run 100 miles, and they'll wake up and the first day they'll run 10 miles. Like there are people out there, but that might not be yours. Your 10 might be 100 steps. Like, it's different from person to person. But if you did 100 steps more than you did yesterday, I'd chalk that up as a win and I'd try to do 101 tomorrow.

Yeah. My moment was, um, after I'd gotten home from treatment in 2013, they had really mentioned yin yoga as being one of the best places to start and heal and stuff. And I, at that point, I had really been in bed for so many years and had a huge amount of atrophy. And so for me, um, I started by just laying on the mat in the room. That was my goal, to just stay in the room, stay in the warm room, do what I can. And I couldn't balance. I didn't have any balance of any kind, so I could only do floor poses. But for me, it was like a 2-year process of just showing up and doing it. And then I remember at one point, in yoga, they hold the pose for a long time. So you hold a pose for like 3 or 4 minutes, and it's— it can be very painful. And I remember the very first time I did it, I'm in this pose, and, you know, I've got one leg tucked in a weird position. And so it's just like my hips are just being stretched in ways they haven't in 10 years. And you're supposed to breathe into the spot that hurts the most, right? So like my— I still remember like breathing into my right hip, trying to hold the pose. And I was like, oh, this is really hurting. And I was like, this is nothing. Oh, I have to hold a pose for 3 minutes and breathe through it? I was like, I've been breathing through pain for over a decade. I got this.

Exactly.

And that was it. That was the moment. And I was like, oh yeah, I got this. I have been through hell. This is nothing.

Totally.

Yeah.

Yep. I'm, I'm fully on board. I, I mean, I think it just goes back to everything we've been, we've been speaking about. And what's so cool is like people who don't suffer from chronic illness also go through things that aren't easy. Mm-hmm. And so I'm just learning like you can't just like, no cover of a book ever tells the whole story. And so I try to approach everyone as just like, hey, you're someone that's messed up, you're awesome too. You've gone through some stuff. I'm someone that's messed up. I'm awesome too. I've also gone through some stuff and we're trying to figure it out, right? Like, that's, that's just— I'm trying to see people more as just people and not robots, because everyone has a soul. Everybody's gone through something. Everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to love. Everybody wants to win. Everybody wants to be healthy, I think. I'm pretty sure, I'm not trying to speak in absolutes, but I don't think anyone really wakes up in the morning and is like, oh, I wanna feel like crap today. I don't know.

You know what though? I didn't realize when you have energy and time, you don't, I don't think you realize fully how important your choices are in the sense of if I eat a bowl of cereal, I'm gonna have fatigue in the afternoon or, you know, whatever it is. I think for me, one of the most special gifts that's come out of this whole journey has been this just heightened sense of self-discipline.

Yes.

And it has— I have lost so many years, and seeing how just this sense of extreme self-discipline, which I had to develop to survive, I can now put that time and energy into growing my kids, growing my company, and it's very rewarding. And it actually has made things seem easy— easier, even though we're still dealing with Lyme and still dealing with hard stuff and huge financial, um, commitments when we have kids with Lyme chronic, uh— oh God, my brain just stopped. Uh, they got Lyme from me when they were pregnant. What is that called? Oh gosh.

Um, yeah, I'm, uh, whatever, drawing a blank as well.

So it has changed, but it's changed our perspective on everything. And it is— I feel like I fluctuate. There's times where I'm like, oh yeah, I got this. And then other times I'm like, no, yeah, I am a victim. Like, this sucks. This hurts. There is losses all over that people don't see. And yet that gets you almost nowhere.

Yeah, it never, it never does. I immediately kind of just go back to just the whole, like, the whole modeling thing and how that happened and how I was able to get in shape despite everything that was going on. And it was because of how hyper-disciplined I was in the things that I could control, knowing that the people that I was going up against, they— and you, sure, everybody has their, their limitations and their own circumstances and whatnot. But I knew for the most part, like, a lot of these guys could go out and run sprints, no problem, and their heart's fine. And I knew that I couldn't really do cardio. So that means I had to be extremely disciplined with my food. I had to be extremely disciplined with my hydration. I had to be extremely disciplined with my rest. And I had to be extremely disciplined with the workouts that I could do. And so you're right, like, you, you kind of develop this, this self-discipline that, like, up until this point I hadn't experienced before. I didn't know that I could experience it.

Yeah, yeah, it's really quite, quite remarkable. I feel like it's gonna, in a sense, because so many of my abilities were taken away, I had to develop different and new ones.

And you got superpowers.

Yeah, I had to learn to do 40 hours of work in 3 hours because my brain didn't work for 40 hours. So it's like, I don't know, it's, it's a journey and it's freaking hard as heck, but there is some treasure buried in it for sure.

So worth it. So worth it.

So, okay, we're headed into living, and truly living here is the goal. We do not want to exist or slowly disappear from society. By the way, if you have not been to linevoice.com, go to linevoice.com. You can see the documentary we did a couple years called Disappearing from Society. It's 17 minutes, it's really good, and it's very validating for people who have been in the position Kyle and I were in where no one related to us and understood what we were going through. So that is at lymevoice.com. But the living aspect of life with Lyme, it means you have to learn new ways of finding joy, of feeling connected, new ways to live because you can't many times do what you used to do, or the money that you used to have is now being redirected to medical stuff. So I think that this process of living can be really painful because you have to strip away all those things that are the least important, and you have to, like you said, go deep and figure that out to start with. But then you really— most people I find, if they go through that healing process, then they also in, in the living start to say, who are the people I want to be around? What type of people do I want to be around? Okay, wait a minute, if this person drains me and this person energizes me— just coming to that realization that you can have more and be more and do more just by living and changing your circumstances and your environment. So let's talk about living. You and I joked, uh, earlier that when you've operated at like 0 and 5%, you can live a lot of life at 35 and 60%. Like, yes, but you— but, but you can only do that through conscious choices, through directing your mindset, through all those things we've talked about. So give us an example of that thought process of getting to the point where you're like, oh no, I'm living, I am doing what I want, and I am I'm marching forward even though I'm operating at this really small percentage. I'm marching forward in who I want to be or become.

Yeah, um, yeah, I mean, I, I remember being heavily convicted. Um, I remember thinking about who I was, dreaming of, of who I know I could be. Because you have so much time when you're sick and you can't go out and do all these things that most people do. You think a lot. Like you literally just sit and think, right? Like, I think about the amount of hours I've spent laying in bed over the last 10 years.

Yeah.

And you do a lot of thinking, like a lot of times not even watching TV because it hurt my head so bad. And so you just like think, and you dream and you like visualize. And I just remember having this like vivid imagery of— so I'll take you back to when I first started getting sick, but right before I moved out to California, I went to a coffee shop in New Hampshire and there was multiple feet of snow on the ground and it was probably not even safe to drive, but this coffee shop was open and I went there and I didn't have my phone, nothing. I just had a notebook and a pen and I sat down and I just started writing. I didn't really have any intentions of like what I was going to write. I just started writing. And before I knew it, I had this like whole map drawn out of like these different areas of my life and what I wanted to get out of them, whether it was financially, like from a career perspective, relationship, health and fitness, like a lot. I just kind of broke everything down and I drew out— I still have that piece of paper somewhere. I drew out like, I remember thinking and feeling and writing down that I would find my wife in California playing co-ed volleyball. Like, like this, I have this like whole, it's honestly like bizarre. There's just, there's way too, there were way too many things that have happened for me to not sit here and be like so heavily convicted where I'm just like, all right, you got to do this. Like, you got to go. I don't know how that could have happened. But long story short, that is what happened. I did meet my wife playing beach volleyball south side of the Huntington Beach Pier when I moved out here. And that story again, I mean, this could be a whole nother, another podcast, but the thought process was just like, if you are sitting, if you wake up on Monday morning and you feel the exact same way you felt the Monday previous, my guess is that you didn't do something differently throughout your week. I would say chances are you probably just went through the same exact motions. Yes, different things happen, but did you intentionally go out there and do something differently so that you can see the change that you're looking before. Just in the last 2 weeks, I've been like— now that I'm starting to feel better, my heart's doing better. I was conditioned to ignore people because when I would talk to someone, my heart would start skipping beats. I don't know what it is.

That's interesting.

It's crazy because I love people so much. Anyone that knows me knows that I freaking love people. Like, that's what I believe I'm here for. And so I would be like, have my head down and try to avoid conversations, avoid interaction because it physically hurt. Like my— and then when my heart would skip, it would send me in this like this spiral of symptoms. So I would just try to avoid people. And so now I'm getting used to again being able to talk to people like this podcast would not have been possible 6 months ago. I would have told you no, because I knew I would have had to suffer for 2 to 3 days after.

Yeah.

So I would have just told you no.

Yeah. I get that.

And so, so now, like, I just— in the last 2 to 3 weeks, I've been setting a goal. Like, I like go out. If you get to Monday and you haven't met 2 to 3 new people, like something like you're not going to be happy because I want to start meeting more people knowing I've had my head down. I haven't been meeting a ton of people lately.

Yeah.

And it's not like a number, but it's just a goal. Just like in anything else, if you don't have a goal written down, chances are you're probably not going to get there in the timeline in which you want to get there. And so these kind of like—

one of my favorite sayings says, a goal without a plan is just a wish. I have it on my desk right now, and I always— I'm like, yep, it's, it's not a goal until there's a plan.

Yeah, it's, it's so true. Um, and so the, the thought process, I guess, the, the thinking piece is like recognizing— and for me, it seems to be like like certain times. So for instance, like Monday mornings or even Sunday afternoons, like having some sort of like time to sit and reflect and look at what you've done in the last week, in the last day, like spending more time reflecting on what it is that you're doing and why you're doing it and where you're trying to go. And then asking yourself, am I doing the right activities today to help me get the result that I want to see tomorrow? And if no, you need to go back to the drawing board and break down those certain pieces, right? You can always— for me, I can always bring it back to fitness. If you don't have those 4 things dialed in, your workouts, your nutrition, your water intake, and your rest, like, we got to go back to the drawing board and figure out which areas are you struggling with.

Yeah.

So yeah, that's kind of like my, my thought process that I've developed over the years.

You know, that was the interesting thing for us having gone, because both times I was infected eventually went out to Invita Medical for 3 months, and so 2 to 3 months. And so for me, I've been gone. I was gone, and then 6 years later I was gone again. And when you have 5 kids, that's abnormal, right? I'm not—

totally.

Yeah, that's not normal. It's not. And when I, I was so disabled and so sick the first time, we had actually rented a house right near my parents, and for years they came over countless times to help and take kids shopping, or, you know, just kept us afloat on so many levels. But I knew what— you know, I didn't know I had Lyme the first time until actually I— my first Lyme test in 2013, positive test, was when I was at treatment already. And we just knew something was wrong and it had to get fixed, and we had no other options. So for me, as soon as I came out of recovery, I knew, okay, I have this force in my life that I'm going to have to deal with forever. And people go in and out of remission. So I started implementing tiny little daily things, and I read, um, Habits by Charles Dugald, I think, and then Atomic Habits by James Clear. Those things really— I realized that because I didn't have any energy, I had already started to do a little, little bits and pieces of those. I'd be like, oh, did I connect with all my kids? Like, I would like mentally try to like scratch their backs once a day or touch, you know, because I had to choose everything because nothing— I wanted to just die and be in this little cocoon, but I had kids I was raising. And so for me, one of the things we've talked about endlessly this year is we're still not there, but because of those complexities, we had to change every aspect of our life. And some of those changes started 4, 5, 6 years ago and we didn't really see the benefits of them until I had to leave town again, right? So mom leaves, and but the house was in order and the systems were in place and things kept running. And because of those systems and those daily disciplines that we've been implementing. And so to me, I'm just like, oh, again, I'm here at this place. I'm like, oh, I can't wait to like again get back up and functioning more normally. But it's, it's that journey of figuring it out.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what makes you—

that's what, that's what makes you, you know, and it's been really hard, but it's empowering at the same time.

Yeah, it is. And you go through what you go through. I truly believe it so that other people can see. And I felt at first sharing my story and sharing what I was going through, I felt that was a selfish act because it was sort of like the way that I at least felt was that like I'm putting the spotlight on me, or I'm projecting this sort of message that like what I'm going through is more difficult than what you're going through, so I'm just going to be quiet about it. And I was just so heavily convicted to share what I've gone through, and the more that I started doing it, the more people that I was able to help. And have you ever seen that movie Hacksaw Ridge?

No, I don't think— I don't know. I'm sure I have at some point. Remind me.

Oh, it's such a good movie. It's like a war movie. I think it was World War II, maybe.

Oh yeah, I know I've seen it. I've seen all of them.

Yeah, I feel like you have. Basically, this guy, he went into the army and he was this Christian dude. He didn't want to— he refused to hold a weapon, so he went in as a medic. And he would go into the battlefield and he would save these soldiers. And he didn't have— he was getting shot, like people dying all around him. He would just run, grab a guy, and then he would basically send them down to safety. And he just kept saying, he's like, God, please, just like one more. Let me get one more guy. And he just kept going back. You know what I'm— you know that movie?

Yes. And he ended up pulling a ton of guys to safety, saved a ton of guys, and he lived. Wasn't he like hauling him down a cliff or something?

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, I don't want to ruin the movie for anyone that hasn't seen it, but if you haven't seen it, go see it because it's so good. But that's kind of been like my mantra is just like, God, just like one more, like one more person today. They're like, I just want to help them. They just send me one more. You don't have to do like 100 different things a day. Like if your goal is to be able to do 100 push-ups, just start with doing one today and then tomorrow do two and then the next day do three and so on and so forth. So that's just kind of been my perspective.

Wow. I love that. Well, I was going to ask you where you're getting your inspiration from lately, but Hacksaw Ridge is pretty good.

Hacksaw Ridge is good. That's a movie I saw a long time ago, but I do think about it often.

Yeah. Kyle, what would you tell someone who's in that place that we've been at? Like home alone, frustrated, overwhelmed, gave away their power. Like what would you tell them?

Yeah, I mean, I would just tell them that, that they're loved beyond belief. Like you, you don't, you have no idea until you get there. And that what you go through matters big time. Like, it matters so much more than you can see right now. And although you may feel super alone and in a rut and there's no, there's no way out, there's always a way. And it hurts, it sucks, it's really, really hard, but it's super fruitful. And I truly believe that God can turn anything around. He can use you to help, help other people that are in the same place. So it's not over. I know it could feel over, but it isn't.

I love that you are loved beyond belief, because that like sent chills up my spine when you said that. Because when you are broken and hurting and isolated, you do not feel loved, even if you have people who love you. I mean, it's just— or, or you're maybe even unable to receive it, right? Yeah. Um, Kyle does not have a website yet, and maybe never will. Yes, because of The beauty of Instagram. But Kyle, tell us what you have started doing for people, because we get contacted a lot of people who say, okay, I'm out of treatment, or I'm at this place where I'm functioning at a higher level, how do I get back into this? And so you do private coaching for people, correct?

Yeah, I do. And honestly, it started as an accident, and it's cool to see how, you know, it kind of all came full circle. But, uh, essentially I started sharing my story. People knew what I was going through, and they started to see what I was able to achieve, um, in fitness. And they started asking questions. Hey man, what are you doing? How are you able to get in shape like that? I know you're super sick, but you just landed on, uh, in fitness magazines and whatnot. Like, how are you doing this? And that just happened so much to the point where I couldn't just give— like, I think we all have a finite amount of will and energy, and when you're that sick, it's even less. So I found that like other things in my life were suffering when I was just helping as many people as I possibly could that would message me or whatever.

Yes.

So it was when a gentleman essentially just said like, hey, I'll pay you X to to help me get in shape. And I was like, okay, cool. And I just kind of figured out, you know, I'm gonna put together a program for him, I'm going to encourage him, I'm gonna hold him accountable. And I had to build these systems and things, and I got him in shape. And I was like, oh wow, this is something that's repeatable. And then lo and behold, people just started coming, and I developed Carved. And Carved essentially is, yeah, it's just that. It's a one-on-one online fitness coaching platform where I'm just helping people reach their fitness goals. For the most part, I'd say about 90% of people I work with are looking to put on some muscle and cut fat. That's pretty much— and, and lose weight. So, you know, that's, that's what I built over the last 3 months, and it's been a lot of fun. I, I have a guy who— I mean, getting— I love waking up and just getting texts from people. Like, one of my guys literally just texted me this morning, he lost 12 pounds in 10 days. And he hasn't been able to lose weight. And I'm like, man, that's so cool. With just like, think about how many resources you've had to utilize to get to where you are today. Yeah. You know? Yeah. And just to be that blessing, to be able to be a resource, I don't know, I'm super grateful and that brings me so much joy. So that's what Carved is as of today.

Awesome. And Kyle, are you on Facebook at all or is it, or is it just Instagram?

Yeah, I'm on Facebook. I would say primarily like Instagram is where I live, if you will. And my Instagram taggle— taggle, LOL— is just Kyle, K-Y-L-E, J. Willis, like Bruce Willis.

Awesome. All right, well, and all of Kyle's information is— and links are also listed at linevoice.com on the show notes. Kyle, thank you so much for talking with us and sharing your happy, positive, enthusiastic energy. I can feel it coming through the airwaves, and I love— I just— congratulations. You've accomplished quite a thing, and I know that there's so much more for you coming in the future. And I love your attitude and your spirit. And you're right, when we go through something hard, if we can use that to help other people, Man, gosh, I don't know. There's no better thing. I don't know.

Yeah, I'm on board with that. If you ever need any sort of encouragement, just shoot me a message on LinkedIn or on Instagram. I'll do my best to get back to it. But thank you so much for having me. And I'm grateful for what you and Aaron are building and doing for not just the Lyme community, but for just people in general. So thank you so much.

Well, thanks for being here. As we will end with Kyle's words, that you are loved beyond belief.

Amen to that, sister. All right, thanks again.

Thanks, Kyle. We know that you guys love what we are doing here at Lion Voice, and so many of you have reached out and want to help and support what we are doing. Yeah, we would love your help and support.

And we have a way for you to do that at lionvoice.com. If you look on the right-hand side, you'll see a little, a little part where you can put in your donation of one time, or if you want to sign up and become one of our monthly partners, go to lionvoice.com and help support us.

Disease is contrary to life. Therefore, wherever disease exists, life must also fight to exist.

Good job fighting, Lyme fighters, keep it up. We'll see you next time. LymeVoice contains general information about medical conditions and treatments. The information is not advice and should not be treated as such. Okay, Lincoln?

Okay.

The medical information on LymeVoice is provided as is without any representations, warranties, expressed or implied. Okay?

Okay.

LymeVoice makes no representations or warranties in relation to the medical information on this podcast. You must not rely on the information on this podcast as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. If you have any specific questions about your medical matter, you should consult your doctor or other professional healthcare provider. And for you, you consult your parents, 'kay? 'Kay. If you think you may be suffering from any medical condition, you should seek seek immediate medical attention. You should never delay seeking medical advice, disregard medical advice, or discontinue medical treatment because of information on this podcast. Got it, Lincoln?

Got it.