Ep 17: Life update 6 months after selling our retreat, parenting, values & everything between

Hello and welcome to Unmasked Minds, the podcast, with me, your host. I am Sarah the Psych on Instagram, and I thought I would jump on here. It is Friday afternoon and I've got about half an hour before the kids get home, so I thought I would jump on and do a bit of a life update. I have continued to be fairly active over on Instagram, but I have not recorded a podcast episode for a couple of months. We released one this week on burnout, but we had pre-recorded it, so I thought I'm going to jump on here and give an update on all of the things. It has officially been 6 months since we sold Glen Eden Estate, which for those of you who don't know, my husband Rob and I for the last 5 years were running a wellness retreat up in the Hunter Valley of New South Wales, which we had built. It was our baby. And not only had I run many retreats there myself, but so many other hosts were running retreats there as well. So it was a big life change, a huge decision for us to sell that. So I thought 6 months post that, I will give an update on work, family, direction, and all of the things for you guys. Now, one of the questions that comes through so much is, how is life post Glen Eden, and how did you come to that decision to sell it? And I, like, I almost 6 months later can't even remember life owning Glen Eden because life feels so different. Glen Eden was such a big part, a big chapter in our story, and for a long time it, you know, consumed so much energy. And I loved it, and I was so passionate about it. But as In My Mind Psychology started to grow, and as my kids got older and their needs became greater, like on weekends and stuff like that, I started to notice this disconnect, I guess, or lack of capacity to be able to continue to run Glen Eden with the passion and excitement that I did when we first started. And I think that was one of the things that made Glen me and so successful was, you know, not only was I the face of it, but I deeply cared, and I had deep conversations with all of the hosts, and I'd go and meet the guests, and it was just so purpose-led at the time. And as soon as I started to notice that I was losing a bit of that energy, it became clear that it was time to sell that, uh, part of our lives and move on to the next chapter. Um, was it a hard decision? I guess it was, and we sort of toyed with it for about 12 months, but then we spent 3 months traveling Australia last— was it May, June, July? Um, and we did like all of Western Australia, we did the Ningaloo Coast, and it was when we were having that break, that downtime, that away time connecting with each other and reminding ourselves how important that freedom value is to be able to travel and that kind of thing. It really started to make us realize the misalignment that Glen Eden was now providing. Whilst it was busy, like, we were booked out with retreats every single weekend, so it was great. It had become great financially. Every weekend, one of us had to be at the property, and so what that usually meant was I was going away with the kids, taking them to their sports, hanging out, and Rob was staying home running the retreats. And it just meant we weren't getting that beautiful connection time as a family. And so we decided to sell. Uh, this wasn't going to become a whole episode on Glen Eden, but it's just evolving at the moment, um, as to our why we're in this new chapter. Um, we decided to sell and we had the most incredible real estate agents, um, Tyson and Kane from McGrath. They came out, they made this beautiful campaign. After looking at the campaign, I was like, do I really want to sell this? Um, and we had one open house, and after the first open house, we had so many offers coming in, and we ended up, you know, selling to a beautiful couple who we just felt we really aligned with. And they really— they just seemed really passionate about Glen Eden. They saw it for what we saw it as, and they have beautiful plans to continue its legacy as we had created. And so that was some of the reasons why we were so happy to sell to them. So within the space of, you know, selling within a couple of days of the first open house, we then also found our property that we're at now down in Jilaby on the Central Coast. And that was a big surprise in itself that we'd find something so quickly. But for us, it was— we had to find the right property. It had to be down on the Central Coast so I could be closer to the bigger kids. So we could spend more time with them doing their things, but also as a family. Because as it was, the big kids weren't hanging out with the little kids because we were always either in Broke or down here. So it was really, really important to find somewhere where we could all be together more often. But for those of you who know Rob, my husband, he needs space, he needs land, he needs to be busy. So we wanted to find land on the Central Coast, which is a very difficult task. But, you know, divine timing, the universe aligning, all of that stuff. Within a couple of days of selling Glen Eden or accepting the offer, we found this property here. I'm looking out the window right now across. We've got 56 acres here. I can see the sheep and the alpacas grazing at the moment. The sun is starting to set on the billabong outside of our house. We've got our main house, which is 5 bedrooms, more, you know, to accommodate our whole family. And then we've created this little— there's a little cottage over the other side which we've converted into my clinic space and a little cottage for people to come and stay. So it is just the most beautiful grounding property. It just feels like it was so meant to be. And, you know, our weekends now are spent as a family. We can all go to the sports on the weekend, just having that pressure off of weekends having to run retreats and Rob being more available to help with things. I mean, he still has an incredibly long list of things to do, and, you know, we've already converted the clinic and there's so much stuff. He's just built a sauna outside. We're building a wellness space. But just not having that pressure of the timeline of, you know, guests arriving and things having to be done at a certain time for a certain event has been just remarkable for our family, which again then has allowed us to put a lot more focus on us as a family, but also on our health. A lot of you will remember mid last year we were really at a difficult place with Rob's health. He's been experiencing lung issues and coughing and problems ongoing for about 8 years now, but late last— mid last year it just got to a point where it was really scary. We were in the caravan over on the Ningaloo Coast of Western Australia. And one of my Instagram followers sent me an oxygen machine and he was hooking up to this oxygen machine every night because he couldn't breathe. Like, and I kind of on Instagram played it down a little bit because deep internally I was terrified. I was ringing his brother Anton And I was like, what the hell happens if he dies while I'm out here on the ningaloo? How do I get the caravan and the car back? How do I manage this and Glen Eden back home and all of the things? So again, his health played a big role in our decision to sell Glen Eden because it was like we are burning the candle at all ends and we don't have the time or the energy to go see specialists and doctors, which he really needed. So Since being back on the coast, we've got him into integrative doctors. He's seeing some NAIT specialists now, and it finally feels like we've got the time and energy to put into our own health and well-being. For me, navigating perimenopause at the moment, it's also allowed me to make regular doctor's appointments and more self-care appointments. You know, we have access to facilities down here that just felt so far away when we were up in Broke in the Hunter Valley. Everything took an hour to get to, and it made it easy to just not go to the things, you know. So we're making some really big shifts on our health, prioritizing things, trying to like become more sustainable, grow some more of our own food. We're not there yet, but— well, we are, we've got chickens and stuff and we eat the eggs every day, but we're trying to grow more and become a little, you know, sustainable unit at home as well, which is really important to us. Um, the kids are thriving being down here, being together. I mean, there's adjustment challenges all of a sudden, having all 4 kids together in a house more often, all the time, has been huge. 3 of the kids had to start at new schools. One of them started at high school, and the other 2 went from this tiny, tiny little school in Broke where there were 20 kids total to a school— now it is still a small school, um, but there is like 60 kids per year, so 2 classes per year for primary school. So it has been a huge adjustment for them. Um, my children, my youngest children are neurodiverse, so big change for them has been really unsettling and they've been quite dysregulated. So we've been managing a lot of like school refusal and meltdowns and things, which has been so hard. But I'm also so grateful that I've had more capacity to deal with it, I guess, um, because I'm spending less time traveling in the car between places and spending more one-on-one time with the kids. And I've got Rob available so much more now for support with the kids and their appointments and things like that. So I feel like I've been really able to be there for my kids a lot more than I had in the previous chapter. Um, on top of that, we have another member of our family. One of my nieces who is 15 has, uh, come under our care. And so navigating that over the last 2 and a half months has been an experience, having a new, a new family member and supporting her and getting all of the supports and things in place that she needs. Uh, I won't share too much on what was was or is going on for her. But, you know, we're very honored to be able to have her in our family and, you know, as part of the bigger village of our greater family. And she's adjusting really, really well. But, you know, it's been hard and it's been a lot, and it's again been a lot of adjustment for for everybody in the family, particularly the kids, to all of a sudden have this new sibling that's here all of the time. So that's been huge. But, you know, all the kids are now doing extracurricular activities. They're doing netball, Oztag, soccer. Like, some of them have tried a few things and not loved it. But yeah, it's just been so nice for us to be able to access that stuff. Even for me, I joined a Pilates gym for a couple of months, and now I'm in a netball team. I'm literally the oldest woman on the team. I'm coming in at 44 this year. The youngest is half my age at 22. But it is a hoot. You know, I would have never thought after not playing netball for over 30 years and I never played it professionally, I never thought I would rejoin a team. We are in like Division 10, which means like level 10 with number 1 being the highest. So we're not great, but We're having fun, and I nearly died the first game because I think of myself as a fairly fit person. But no, netball game fit and gym fit in your garage or Pilates fit Sarah are completely different things. So we're all having a good laugh at that at the moment. But you know, the big move and all of that is just allowing us to do more things, be more places, be more present. All of that kind of stuff. Um, from a work perspective, wow, am I loving this chapter of work for me. I think not managing Glen Eden anymore has created so much more capacity for me. I've been able to really ask myself, where do I want to take In My Mind Psychology? What work is important to me? What work that I do with my clients really, really lights me up? And I've started to shift my business model a little bit into this intensive trauma space. So I am an EMDR therapist, which actually people keep asking me to do a podcast on what actually is EMDR and what do I do in that space. But I've been running EMDR intensives where, you know, traditional therapy is people go and they spend 50 minutes with a therapist, maybe weekly, maybe fortnightly, maybe monthly, and you work through, you know, tools and strategies and all of that kind of thing. But with EMDR, I'm running these intensives where people come and spend a whole day with me, and we go deep into childhood wounds, negative beliefs, and we use EMDR, which is Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing— long fancy word, I'll get back to that in another episode. But basically, having the privilege of sitting with a client all day and going deep into their wounds and truly, truly desensitizing and rewiring fundamental parts of their brain that have caused them to experience life the way they experience it is such an honor, and I love doing it. And as soon as I made that decision that I am putting energy into intensives, it is— it has taken off. Um, I think at this stage I've got 43 intensives booked this year, so that's 43 whole days. Sometimes people come for like 2 or 3 days, which is again so incredible. They come to property here in Jillaby. We've got this cottage set up for them. It's really beautiful. It's got a fireplace. It's on 56 acres. So it's really about this healing experience where you come here, you spend a night, you dedicate the time, effort, the money. It's quite expensive to do that, but you really commit to your healing. And you— we create this beautiful container in nature where you get to heal with me with these amazing tools like EMDR. We use arts therapy, lots of somatic practices and resourcing. So it's just incredible, and I'm really, really loving it to the point where I've actually doing intensives all around Australia this year. I've already run some in Bribie Island in Queensland. I've got some booked in Victoria when I go down there in June this year, and again in October down in Victoria as well. So I'm loving doing that type of work. It is really fulfilling, um, and it is really sustainable from a burnout perspective as well. I get so energized spending a whole day with someone, and it feels very different to, you know, 6 back-to-back clients every day as well. So that is super cool. And, um, I am still running retreats. So instead of running all the retreats at Glen Eden, I'm running them around Australia this year. So we've got 3 this year. We've got Victoria, um, which is at this beautiful winery down there, like stunning location. There'll be kayaking, paddleboarding, fires, all the things. Uh, there's one in Kenthurst in Sydney at Swami's Yoga Retreat, which is just like the most divine yogi vibe energy. It's like stepping into another country. And we've just finished running them, running one up in Bribie Island in Queensland. So getting my intensives and my retreats out into Australia is super fun, a bit taxing. You know, I've got to find the right balance with travel, being away from my family for periods of time. I'm trying to work out what is the the right amount of time away from them before it feels like too much. Um, because on top of the retreats, Charlie— and if you guys haven't seen Charlie or heard me talk about Charlie, then you're obviously not following me on Instagram— but Charlie and I have partnered a lot to do a lot of work together. She co-hosts my retreats with me now and brings all the somatic work. So Charlie does breathwork, she does Reiki, she does yoga. So all the beautiful body Somatic Works. But Charlie, also as an Aboriginal woman, works for the Tamworth Aboriginal— Aboriginal Lands Council. And with her passion for helping and supporting Aboriginal women who are victims of domestic and sexual violence, not to mention years and years, generations of intergenerational trauma, we've created this incredible program called Healing Our Way. And I actually don't talk about it a lot on Instagram because I'm still navigating this sort of how to talk about it and, you know, maintain confidentiality and privacy for the participants, but also be culturally respectful. And I'm still learning so much of that. So in— I've just sort of really avoided talking in a lot of detail. But this program, we've run a pilot for it, and essentially we had 4 participants and they spent 3 days with us initially, and then they came away on country on retreat with us for 4 days, 5 days, and we did deep somatic healing, cultural healing, you know, re— reconnecting them with long-lost Aboriginal cultural practices and EMDR. And the combination of all of that was just so incredibly healing. And the results were ab— like, I knew, we knew it would work. Charlie and I knew it would work, but the results were just so, so incredible. Um, so we are currently in discussions to hold at least 4 more of those this year, and we're putting in place a plan to run those next year. And I can tell you something, the Oh, how good. It just feels great. It feels important. It feels meaningful. It feels purpose-led to be doing this work. And personally, like, a massive journey for me in learning about our Aboriginal people, our country, what country means to them. And I am just really connecting with it. On a level I never thought that I would. I'm finding it really healing for me as well. So it's just beautiful. So I'm finding myself— I'm— I will say I, I do feel bad— guilty is not the right word because it's a choice— but I, I am aware that the more work I do on these retreats and intensives and in the Aboriginal community, the less available I am for regular one-on-one face-to-face clients, and I'm hearing that feedback. And it is a trade-off that I have had to make, um, not only so that, you know, because I don't have unlimited time, but from a, a burnout perspective, you know, where do I put my energy and feel like I'm getting the greater results? Um, it's definitely in these more intense and retreat-style formats. So I am sort of moving the business more towards when I have new clients come board, um, if they are suitable for these intensive type trainings. That's what I'm sort of onboarding at the moment. So that is really exciting. Big change, you know, big risk as a psychologist who only— I only opened my practice not even 18 months ago, and now I'm making these big shifts and big changes and doing some, some things that haven't really been done before in the psychology world, these intensives. You know, I've got psychologists reaching out to me all the time asking for my advice in, in running intensives now because I've run so many in such a short period of time. And I'm— part of me is still like, hey, I'm the new kid on the block, I'm the new psychologist. But, you know, I, I absolutely threw myself into training. The amount of training, um, you know, continuing professional development that I've done on EMDR and intensives and stuff has been extensive, but It really hasn't felt like it because it's just felt so aligned and so beautiful. So, you know, we are in a really, really good spot there. You know, there's hard stuff happening in our life at the moment, but we're feeling really resilient. I'm really prioritizing self-care, family time, you know, communicating with my husband, and we're getting really good at sort of reconnecting, and there's a lot less resentment and stuff in our relationship at the moment because we have more time to connect. And it was something I really realized when we had Glen Eden and there was just so much on and we were all doing so much, we were starting to resent each other and sort of get stuck in that tit-for-tat, who does more kind of thing. So yeah, little update. Um, I am going— the podcast, I guess, is another question where, you know, I went really strong in January and filmed a lot and then sort of let that die off a bit. And this week I sort of asked myself, do I even want to do it? Um, is it important to people? Is there value in it? Because it takes so much time to not only record but to edit, and then you're supposed to do social media stuff so that people know where to find your podcast and what it's talking about. And, you know, I'm at the point now where I, I don't want to invest in more staff in my business. I did that last year. I— so many of you you know, I had the incredible Jess working for me for a period last year, and she was brilliant, and she really encouraged me to push the business into so many more of these areas. But it also, when you have staff, it provides this extra layer of pressure, um, to, you know, earn more money to be able to afford them. And I really am in this position now where I'm so aware that we are a single income income family. We have one income, we have a substantial mortgage because in order to get this size property on the Central Coast, we had to go, you know, increase our mortgage. Um, and we have 5 dependents living at home who go to private school, which is a choice by us. Um, but I do have to fund that, and food costs are high, and there's just a lot. Life is expensive at the moment, and I'm probably— it's probably one of my biggest stressors at the moment is managing all of that as a single-income family, which we also choose to be. So having extra staff or taking someone on to manage the podcast at this stage is just not something that I want to do. Um, and then I go down these rabbit holes of finding AI that can do it for me, and I'm like, ah, then I lose hours doing that. So, um, I would love your feedback as to whether the podcast is something that you guys are enjoying. I have plenty of other areas to put my energy. I just thought it was a nice way of giving to people that may have barriers to access my other services or may not need my other services but want to learn and be connected and that kind of thing. So this is the first one of these types of podcasts where I'm just doing an update. So I'm so interested if that even lands. I like cannot imagine someone just going, I'm driving to work, I'm going to listen to what's going on in Sarah's life, because, you know, so often I reflect and think it's really, I'm just like all of you, but you know, I like hearing about normal people and what they're experiencing as well. So ha, I was gonna say have a listen. If you've made it this far, you've already had a listen. Um, I am so grateful for everybody that is a part of the community of mine on Instagram, with the podcast, my clients, retreats, all of that. I am never, you know, gonna take that for granted and what opportunities that gives me having such a beautiful, engaged community. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here. Thank you for the role you all play in that massive update that I've just given you. Without you guys, this wouldn't be possible for us to be living this life led by values and, you know, constantly readjusted to align with our values. Lots of boundaries, all of that kind of stuff. So thank you. I appreciate you being here. And talk soon.