Evening practice: Faith in Faith

Good evening everybody, welcome. So we're going to start as usual with the Dharma clips. We are honored to have Jamé with us this evening, so he's going to read something that he's written for us. I'll just pass the microphone over.

Thank you.

Namu Amida Butsu.

Namu Amida Butsu. Uh, the wood and the trees. This time of year can really be a bit of a struggle for me. My psychological baggage relating to childhood and early manhood, wounded and exiled parts exerting their influence and dominating my thinking, and the impact of the dreary weather and shorter days with less sunlight. It is a time when I can lose sight of the blessings in my life and dwell too heavily on the negative aspects of the world. The cost of living crisis, not enough money, although I've got everything I need and more, bleak prospects for the future of our planet, and personal health issues all contribute to a sense of lack in me that feels ingrained and pervasive. My training and societal conditioning point me towards a Stoic perseverance narrative, which often feels a bit more like avoidance than real genuine strength or resilience, but it does tend to keep me moving for better or worse. And I set off for an overly busy day on Sunday, starting with a visit to a very old friend who, for one reason or another, I haven't managed to connect with in person for nearly 10 years. As she opened the door, I noticed how much she had aged since I last saw her, and that she was clearly struggling with serious physical issues, even more debilitating than the ones that I was experiencing at the time. When her face lit up as she saw me, I realized how deeply I'd missed her and how much our friendship meant to her. She had been one of the critical influences and lifelines in my struggle towards a normal life whilst in the thick of all the pre-recovery and early recovery chaos that I went through on my journey. She was always there and an incredible source of support and inspiration for me. She told me how proud she was of me and that she had such faith in me after watching me come to life and begin to heal and grow. It felt like staring into a portal of truth that helped me to glimpse a different angle on the facts of my life rather than just the ones that I had selected to wallow in. It reminded me that I'm not really just here for myself, nor as a spiritual practitioner could I really justify neglecting the reality of the effect, the effect that my existence has on the world around me. Whether I like it or not, my life is profoundly embedded in the intricate matrix of people, things, feelings, and experience which constitutes the ongoing saga of this incredible universe. We talked about the past and some of the terrible things that we had both experienced. Heartbreaking, life-changing catastrophe, and yet here we both were, still striving to make some good happen around us and help to reduce some of the darkness. This in itself is a miracle. So despite my internal nagging, I left there in a completely different frame of mind, nourished by our connection and encouraged by the fact that there is something else going on in the grand scheme of things, something that operates beyond my self-judgment and negativity. Something that can hold both my darkness and my inherent usefulness while I grapple with the realities of just being human. Namamidabbut.

Namamidabbut.

Thank you. So we'll go into a period of quiet.

Meditation together, perhaps beginning by taking a moment to notice the felt sense of your chair or cushion meeting your body. Perhaps there's some pressure some weight, some sensation. We're all supported by the ground. And then bringing awareness to the breath. If you like, as an alternative focus rather than following the threads of thought and feeling that we usually do. This isn't about suppressing anything, it's just about choosing something different, more neutral, to pay attention to. Noticing the cooler air entering at the tip of the nose the warmer air leaving. And if, when other thoughts or feelings catch your attention, just noticing that, here's a feeling about such and such, and then gently bringing awareness back to the breath.

Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh.

A mi ta ba.

A mi ta ba.

A mi ta. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh.

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. So please repeat after me as we recite the refuges and precepts, things that Buddhists have been doing all over the world for generations together. For refuge I go to the Buddha—

for refuge I go to the Buddha—

the one who is awake and full of love—

the one who is awake and full of love—

Namo Buddhaya! For refuge I go to the Dharma—

for refuge I go to the Dharma—

all that guides us to wisdom and compassion— all that guides us to wisdom and compassion— Namo Dharmaya!

Namo Dharmaya!

For refuge I go to the Sangha— for refuge those who live in Buddha's light— Nam-myoho-renge-kyo! With faith in three jewels , I pray that may not take life; Faith in 3 Jewels, I pray that might steal. I pray that I may not steal— With faith in The Three Jewels . —with Faith In Thre jewels... . ...With Faith In Ther three jewells? I pray that I fall into wrong speach?! ...With faiithh inn therrree jeewellsssss!? I pray thaht i maa avoid intoxication!

I pray that I may avoid intoxication.

Now we're experimenting with saying the three remembrances all together, so I'll say all six words and then repeat all six words. No blame, be kind, love everything.

No blame, be kind, love everything.

Innumerable are sentient beings. We vow to save them all.

Inexhaustible are deluded passions.

We vow to transform them all. Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings, we vow to master them all. Infinite is the Buddha's way, we vow to fulfill it completely. Namaste. I've got a real headache in the left-hand side of my head, and I think it's because I drove directly into the sun for 40 minutes this afternoon and was just really squinting to try and not hit anything, which I didn't. You know, we are successfully here and back from the dog walk safely. Um, a couple of weeks ago I spoke about the importance of doubt on the spiritual path, and today I saw an email from somebody asking me about faith. So I thought, well, that's a nice counterpoint, the other side of the coin. And they were asking about faith in faith, like what did I mean when I'd written that phrase. Years ago, um, in something they were reading. They said, is it like— do you mean like faith in that you're going to be born in the Pure Land after you die, or is it like faith that you're going to have a good time in this, an easy time in this life, or something else? And Those are all types of faith in Pure Land Buddhism, you know. Classically, in Kamakura, Japan, people believed if they— Pure Land Buddhists at least believed if they said the Nembutsu and entrusted themselves to the power of Amitābha Buddha's vow they would be reborn into a paradise after death where they could go on to become a Buddha themselves. And Pure Land Buddhists— some Pure Land Buddhists still believe that today. Many Pure Land Buddhists believe that rebirth in the Pure Land is something that happens in this lifetime. Or in this lifetime as well as at the point of death. What does that mean? Sorry, I can't really see much out of these glasses. That's why I keep trying to clean them, combined with the sort of squinty headache. When we entrust ourselves to the Buddha, perhaps we have an experience of everything is going to be okay. This may arrive intuitively, or maybe we're just testing that idea out, but at some point, uh, it becomes a bit more solid the more that we practice the idea that everything is going to be okay. And this doesn't mean that worldly things are going to unfold in a, in an easy way, or that there won't be any suffering around. The Buddha was very clear. The First Noble Truth is you will encounter difficulties. Becoming enlightened doesn't stop you encountering difficulties. Experiencing being reborn in the Pure Land in this lifetime doesn't stop you encountering difficulties. And yet, in the midst of difficulty, we can still have this sense of okayness, of steadiness. I was reading today a little vignette of a toddler having a meltdown in a supermarket, and everyone's starting to look around, oh, you know, shaking their heads and tutting. And the mom sat down next to the toddler and started singing a little song about an angry monkey who was making a big noise, and just very calmly next to him. And eventually the The child settled down and said, "Oh, the angry monkey's gone away now, Mommy." And this is the kind of okayness that we can experience in the mix of difficulty. Like, the supermarket can still be overwhelming and full of too many colors and noises and too much choice. Like, why are there so many brands of different things? But we can experience something alongside us that allows us to find a little bit of steadiness. Oh, even in the midst of all of this, everything is going to be okay. And maybe even going beyond that, that we sometimes have a deep sense of our interconnection with all things. Some kind of transcendent spiritual experience that teaches us, oh, I, I am connected to all living things, they are all connected to me, I can relax and rest in that. Maybe we get that experience in this lifetime, maybe we don't. Faith in faith is, is more like, uh, it's not particularly about thinking about what happens after death. It's more like this sense of okayness, and it's, it's not even trusting in any particular outcome. And maybe it, maybe it's not even trusting that we will have a good spiritual experience, or even that we will get a taste of that okayness. It's about trusting that it's good to approach the world with open hands and an open heart. It's good to trust in the possibility of the Buddha, in the possibility of things being okay. It's not about outcomes. It's simply about trusting in the attitude of trusting. You probably heard the expression art for art's sake. Like, I'm not trying to sell my painting, I'm not trying to please anybody, I'm not trying to match it to the colors on my wall so I've got a nice piece of interior design. I'm just painting as an expression of painting. I guess it's something like that, trusting that this way of being in the world has its own merit without even being sure of what any positive outcomes might look like. And I think that's enough. To hold that attitude is enough. Namaste.

In gratitude, we offer this incense to all Buddhas and bodhisattvas throughout space and time. May it be fragrant as Earth herself, reflecting our careful efforts, our wholehearted awareness, and the fruits of understanding slowly ripening. May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true home. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

Back to our places, standing.

We've only got one Dharma Gents left, people. This is an emergency, and the groups aren't starting for a couple of weeks. There's a few in the group, but if we pretend it's an emergency— no, I mean, we're also—

next week, next week we're doing, uh, practice particularly for first-timers. I mean, it's the same thing, it's just we let people know so they can, if they want to turn up. Sometimes it's a bit easier if we call it a first-timers practice, the first-timers to call up. So if you know anybody who wants to come, then we'll talk a little bit more in between each thing as we go through. Yeah, maybe we could call it Bring a Friend Week. So we'll finish with the closing verse together. Blessed by Amitabha's light, may we care for all living things and the holy earth. Namomi. Namomi. Thanks everybody.

It's the first time I've ever known that we