Evening practice: holding Buddhism lightly, and on trying to hard

Welcome everybody. Welcome to Chris and Clare joining us live on Zoom. We'll begin this evening with a Dharma glimpse written by Imogen. And it's going to be read by Angie, so I'll pass over to you.

Thank you.

Trying too hard. I've been considering all day what I might write for my Dharma glimpse. And nothing quite felt right. I found myself reading through other glimpses and wondering what I am supposed to write. In my journal, these things come so easily to me, but there is something about writing the glimpse for other people to read that makes me freeze up a bit and try to bend and contort things to some idea of how it should be. So after much pondering, this process in itself became my glimpse. In trying so hard, I was missing my heart. My mind tried to push and created the shoulds. The reality is my truth as it is. No need to conform. Allowing brings wisdom into form. So often I want there to be a right way, some clear path to follow. Perhaps it is certainty I look for in a world and a me that is always changing. And yet this is where life itself sits, in the constant ebb and flow of change. I want a button to press to make it all more solid, more predictable in some way. I feel myself wanting something to hold on to, and in some way this came through in my struggle to think about what I wanted to write for my glimpse today, because actually I found that when I sat down to write, the words came. All I needed to do was trust that they would come and that they would be exactly what was needed. The I that is my mind didn't have a plan, no, but the words came just the same.

Namu Amida Butsu.

Namu Amida Butsu. Thank you, Ange, for reading. Thank you, Imogen, for writing and sending that in. We're always, we always welcome receiving a Dharma glimpse from any member of the community. Feel free to drop one into our inboxes, and there's lots of examples on the website if you want to get a feel for the kind of thing, uh, that it is. Okay, so we've got a period of quiet meditation together. After the meditation We'll chant Om Amidaewa Re, a Tibetan form of the Nembutsu that you can find on your piece of A5 next to you. And in the silence, an invitation for an expansive awareness So opening all the senses, allowing whatever appears to appear and disappear without grasping it or pushing it away. So perhaps noticing feelings in the body, perhaps noticing the breath. Thoughts, feelings, sounds. Often meditation is like concentrating on something, the kind of narrow gaze, but here the invitation is to allow in whatever's here, like noticing what's in your peripheral vision, but in all of your senses. Oh, Mami Teh Wari. Om Namite Wahwi.

Om Namite Wahwi. Om Namite Wahwi. Om Amitewari. Om Amitewari. Om Amitewari. Om Amitewari. Om Amitewari. Om Amitewari. Om Amidevare. Om Amidevare. Om Namite Wahre. Om Namite Wahre. Om Namite Wahre. Oh, ma mi de wa ri. Oh, ma mi de wa ri. Oh, ma mi de wa ri. Oh, ma mi se wa ri. Oh, ma mi se wa ri. Oh, ma mi se wa ri.

Please repeat after me. For refuge I go to the Buddha.

For refuge I go to the Buddha.

Namo Buddha.

Namo Buddha.

Hang on, let's start again. Let's just start from the beginning again. For refuge I go to the Buddha, the one who is awake and full of love. Namo Buddha. For refuge I go to the Dharma, all that guides us to wisdom and compassion. Namo Amida Butsu .

For refuge I go to Sangha—

those who live in Buddha's light. Namo sanghaya! With faith in Three Jewels—I pray that may not take life—with Faith in The 3 Jewels. I pray that I may not steal— —with faith in the Three Jewels.

With faith in the Two Jewels.

I pray that I may not fall into sexual misconduct— —with faith in the Three Jewels. Faithful to you alls. I pray that I may not fall into wrong speech—

—with faith in the Three Jewels.

In vain of them. You jewels! I pray that I may avoid intoxication. No blame. Be kind. Love everything.

Innumerable are sentient beings.

We vow to save them all.

Inexhaustible are deluded passions.

We vow to transform them all.

Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings.

We vow to master them all. Infinite is the Buddha's way. We vow to fulfill it completely.

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. So we've just said those words together, the refuges and precepts and bodhisattva vows. That have been said in different forms by Buddhists for 2,500 years. Before then, we chanted the Nembutsu, Tibetan form of the Nembutsu, which goes back for generations. And then we sat in silence together, which is a practice much older than Buddhism. And we're sitting here in a room full of statues and flowers and candles. There's a library downstairs with thousands and thousands of words in about different forms of Buddhism and Buddhist history. And I have found at some points in my life that it's very easy to get caught up in all of that as being the reason that we're here, becoming attached to the precision of the form of the rituals. And some of the rituals I was taught to do were very, very precise. I was taught that when you move around the shrine room, if you're leading the ceremony, you imagine a grid on the floor and you only ever move either along the lines of the grid. So no diagonals, no curves, only walking this way or this way. And then you can get caught up in trying to work out what would the Buddha said about this specific thing that's going on in my life, or this thing that's happening in the world, or this teaching that I'm reading about, and trying to trace back and get my— it back. Put yourself in the position of someone 2,500 years ago listening to the actual words of the Buddha. And then you read two commentaries about the same words that the Buddha said, and they say the opposite things. Or you read the texts of the Pure Land tradition and then Theravada, and you think, well, I can't make this make any logical sense, but it feels important. And it is important. All of those things are important, but they're also provisional. It's important to have them around. It's nice and meaningful to be in a room with a beautiful golden Buddha at the front, and it's also important to hold that lightly. The reason that we come together to practice as a group is because We want— somehow we have a longing to bring more love into our lives. Perhaps even we have an intuition that a loving way of being in the world is the most natural way of being in the world, to be completely harmless, as someone described it at Buddhafield. I really like that description of a Buddha, someone who's perfectly harmless. They don't cause any trouble. So the precepts, for example, that we say, that say this is how to live an ethical life. They are guidelines. They can't— it's impossible for them to speak to every situation that actually occurs in somebody's life. The real invitation of practice is to take all of this stuff and allow it to take us beyond the form into living life. I can't say living life in an alive way. That's the kind of, it's just repeating myself, but that's what I mean, you know, in a responding, uh, like in with liveliness, with love and compassion, not out of habit or because this person says this or this teaching says that, or I'm trying desperately to do the right thing because that's some heavy weights that I have. It's about being kind to ourselves and to others. And if all of this stuff helps guide you in that direction, then keep doing it. And if some of it isn't helping, then don't worry so much about that stuff.

Yeah.

We're just here to open our hearts. Namaste.

With gratitude, we offer this incense to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas throughout space and time. May it be fragrant as Earth herself, reflecting our careful efforts, our wholehearted awareness, and the fruits of understanding slowly ripening. May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true journey. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

We'll finish with the closing verse. It's on the top of one of the sides of the piece of paper. Bless by Amitabha's light May we repair for all living things and the holy earth. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. So just to remind that the retreat day that Satya Robynji are running is the 5th of November, so a week on Saturday, including a talk by Naga Priya, whose book on Shinran has recently come out. Shinran, one of the great medieval Japanese teachers of Pure Land Buddhism.

So really looking forward to that? Be great.

Okay, what about Homer? Yeah, it's the most famous. That doesn't mean— that's not the same as greatest. What about Benjo? Yeah, lovely to see you all. Please join us for a cup of tea. Do remember the donation bowl in the hallway or on line. And Satya's reminding me to tell you about the food bank. We're receiving donations that are going down to the local food bank. Namaste.