Guided Meditation

Right, well, this talk came about, um, well, I was asked to do this talk for Mindfulness Day at the MAC, and, um, so I had it kind of ready, but then I thought I'd put a slightly different stance on it and then did some Pure Land chanting, but using the same sort of concepts. But it came out initially because I've had sort of, you know, over time because I've had lots of anxiety in my body. And I found that it was very hard for me to do a lot of Buddhist practice, which involved the breathing. I've got a lot of sort of held trauma in my breath. And so I had sort of a long journey sort of trying out different things and Eventually I discovered PRT, which I then trained in because I was so enthusiastic about it and how it's, how it was a really good way of, um, of me releasing that trauma from different parts of my body. But then that enabled me to start doing, um, breathing meditation again. And I was, and because I really love, um, focus on the breath, but not if I'm focusing on trauma and anxiety. So it enabled me to start getting back into it. And then I came across this teacher called Sheikh Nouiz, who's a Sufi. And I just thought, well, I really would love to have some lessons from him because while he does this breathwork, he's in charge of breathwork in his Sufi order, and also he's always been an out queer gay man. And I thought, well, that's just so refreshing having a teacher who there's no— you don't have to worry about what they think about sexuality and gender. You just feel very confident with them. And he's wonderful when someone, anyone points anything out. If a woman in the group, for example, points something out, says, I don't think that's— I don't feel very comfortable with that, he just changes the language. He literally just takes the sacred texts and changes it, which is just great. And because he was always being openly, as his language he uses, he says queer gay, so that's what I'm going to say. He's moved up the hierarchy and everybody else in the Sufi order realized as he became more and more prominent, oh, so it's okay to not be straight. Oh, and then lots of other people in the order came out. So he's a real sort of inspiration, but from the point of view of this talk, It's, it's his work on the breath that I was really interested in. And so I've combined what he's taught me so far— it's a year-long course— with PRT stuff and stuff to do with mindfulness of the breath from Buddhism, and came up with this practice which I do in the morning and in the evening, and which enables me to access the spiritual stuff which I wanted to access through the breath, but also honors the trauma in my breath, which actually comes from when I was a child. It's a bit like someone else that some of you know, which I won't mention because this is being videoed, but I was forced to perform on recorder in front of a hostile group of people when I was 5. And so for me, the breath is full of this anxiety and trauma. Because it followed some very traumatic experiences. And this was the audience who had been the sort of the— how can I say— the people who'd ostracized me. This is the children, my peers in the school, and the teacher who was a very powerful, very aggressive person who had ostracized the children against me by bullying me in the class in a quite horrible way, which I shan't go into. And now I was being supposedly to build my confidence, I had to play recorder by the head of the infants, got me to play recorder to my class. I can't remember if the teacher was there or not, but anyway, the idea— so the idea that I was going to play, be able to play a note, and I couldn't. I could not play a note. But rather like the experience of someone else that you know, that experience has put this trauma into my breath. Which is really not good for me because I love the breath as a vehicle for spiritual practice. It's my favorite focus. But if this trauma is there, then all I'm focusing on is this sort of fear and anxiety. So that's kind of the background to this. And so I shall warn you, I mean, this shouldn't be a problem. And I said this to the mindfulness practitioners. I said, you're all mindfulness practitioners. You all do mindfulness of the breath. So it won't be a problem for you. I better say this. So I said, so, but I would not do this kind of meditation with a client unless I've done a full assessment first. And I would warn them if— and I would then be working with them, and if any trauma came up, I would then move to something else. So I said, so if any of you find that it is, um, causing you some— a lot of anxiety, then please move your focus onto something different. And I'm glad I did do that because even though all these mindfulness practitioners did mindfulness of breathing all the time, the fact that I'd said that somehow gave them permission to find that anxiety and that trauma. And someone then came up to me at the end and said, "Thank you. I didn't even know I had trauma." So I do have to say that. So I realize I do have to say this warning. If anything comes up for you, then move your focus either onto pleasant sensations in the breath. We're going to ask you to focus on uncomfortable sensations. In your breath, or to somewhere else in your body which has got positive, comfortable sensations. So don't carry on focusing if you find there is something there. Now, if you don't have any uncomfortable sensations in the— in your breath, then focus on something neutral. So that's the— basically the instruction. Okay. Um, This is a kind of blend of hypnosis, PRT, and mindfulness practice. So I will ask you to close your eyes at some point. Okay, so could you find yourself— make yourself comfortable on your seat so you feel comfortable and supported. Just take one or two slightly slowed-down breaths. And allow your eyes to close. We're going to be watching over the breath with gentle, loving interest. And there's a word in Arabic which is used for this particular quality of watching over with gentle, loving interest, which is 'yaraki.' If you want to chant it with me, you may. I'm going to be chanting it on the out-breath, obviously, with an in-breath in between each one. I'm going to do 11 'Yar-Ra-Keebs,' and while I'm doing that, the focus is on gentle, loving interest, like a mother watching over a sleeping baby, or like a mystic watching over the stars moving through the night sky. 'Yar-Ra-Keeb.' Ya Rakiib. Ya Rakiib. Ya Rakiib. Ya Rakiib. Like a mother watching over a sleeping baby with gentle, loving interest. Like a mystic watching over the stars moving through the night sky. With gentle, loving interest. You can watch over the uncomfortable sensations in your breath with gentle, loving interest, knowing that this is the great power of the universe, watching over with gentle, loving interest. Loving creating, protecting, allowing, healing. Knowing that without love and creativity there are no flaws or mistakes, that without flaws and mistakes there is no love or creativity. Knowing that your cough and choke reflexes are working well, keeping you safe. You are loved. You are safe. You are loved. You are safe. Knowing that if you tell a distressed child to be quiet, it only increases their distress. But if you ignore a distressed child, it only increases their distress. So there is no need for you either to try to change these sensations or to try to ignore them. But if you do either of these things, there's no need to beat yourself up about it. You can simply return to watching over these sensations with gentle, loving interest. And as you watch over these sensations, you can see what happens, what intensifies, what subsides, and what stays temporarily the same, knowing that everything alters and flows, except for the stillness and silence which envelops the whole universe. And as you watch over these sensations, you can begin to describe them to yourself using neutral words like contact, bubbling, tension, pressure, tingling, prickling, heat, cold, wetness, dryness, pulsing. And as you watch over these sensations, you can bring a small amount of your attention to the positive, pleasant sensations in your breath, wherever these may be found. And you can allow your breathing to slow down slightly and to become slightly smoother. And just for a few moments, you can bring your attention to the turnaround points in your breath between the in-breaths and the out-breaths. Points of stillness and silence connected to the stillness and silence which envelops the whole universe. And you can see if you can watch over your sensations from this place of stillness and silence. As you bring your attention back to the uncomfortable sensations in your breath and see what you find there— what has intensified, what has subsided, and what has remained temporarily The same. And now, for a few moments, you can bring your attention to the sensation of energy drawn into your heart area with every in-breath and radiated out with every out-breath. Knowing that it is not only radiated out into space, but also radiated out through your entire body, through the blood. And you can find the connection between this energy and the love in your hearts. And between the love in your heart and the love which envelops the whole universe. And if you like you can focus this love, this love energy, onto anything in your life or the life of those people around you that you want to send healing to, strengthening, energizing, enabling, allowing Healing. Embracing. Coming back now to the sensations in your breath. And seeing what you find there, what has intensified, what has subsided, and what remains temporarily the same. You are loved. You are safe. You are loved. You are safe. Watching over these sensations with gentle, loving interest. Like a mother watching over a sleeping baby, like a mystic watching over the stars moving through the night sky. And in a few moments, we're going to end this practice for now. But before we do, you can take another couple of slightly slowed-down breaths, and then when you're ready, you can allow your eyes to open and come back into the room. Okay, so I'm going to do some chanting in a moment. This chanting is a bit of Pure Land chanting, and it uses the same sort of idea. So I'm going to break us into two groups so that one group is going to be doing an out-breath while the other is doing the in-breath. And obviously when you're doing the out-breath, you're chanting, and when you're doing the in-breath, you're just breathing. So I'll teach the whole thing. It's very, very simple. It's just Amitābha, that's all. And teach the whole thing, and then we'll divide it into two sections. It goes like this: Amitābha, Amitābha. Now we'll do that bit in major.

Amitābha, Amitābha, Amitābha, Amitābha. Amitābha, Amitābha, Amitābha, Amitābha, Amitābha, Amitābha.

Okay, do you think you'd be ready to go straight in? After 3. 1, 2, 3.

Amitabha! Amitabha! Amitabha! Amitabha! Amitaba— amitaba? Ami taba ami tava? Ameeta ba... Amitābha. Amitābha.

Brilliant. So let's just divide. So I'll do this half and we'll do Amitābha.

Amitābha. Amitābha. Amitābha. Ani taba! Ani ta— anitaba? Anita— Amitabha?! Ammitaaahbaan... Ameetaabhaaan... Anii taaaaban! Amitabha! Amitaba— Ami-ta-baa? A-mee-taaa-boouuhh... Anni tao ba? Annii tau baaaae?! Annie tabba? An-nie taau ba? Any tappa? Amitabh! Amitabha— Ami-tah-ba? A-mee-toh-uhb-a... Anni toh baanu tavaamun paanaani tohabaanum pannaami tah bahnau annee toh baaanhoo amii thaabbaannuu thaabaanoon paswaai taaha bhuiyoon tamidzaoobhu ami tabar ani tobhar anni towbahnaumi thoubehanni throoba Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Ani taba— anitaabha? Anitaabaanii taabaniii... Aamiitaaahbaaaneee taaaabeniiiiiee! Amitaabhaaniin thaaaaabeenai nithaal baanaaneethaaavaneee eehhmmmeemumu muthuu mu mutthoo moo-moothoo moothoo maathoobhu koonamthaapoorvakaaraavaanannee thaavanaamaathaavvaayeen ammaittaaapaarveer aanneetaadaaneeee. Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Ami— Taba? Aamiitaaabbaaahh?! Ani taba— Anitaba? —tapa! Amithabha tappa ma'amita baanamata baa naami ta paana namasthiti anidhabha nani tha bhava tanu thapta manikatha panga ni tapah. Manika maha mana niktha bah yohini thampanna nahmi tahpa'eh... I'm sorry about this but you Amitabh! know that's what it says on my script so we have to go by them for now okay bye-bye everybody thank ya very much guys see you next time ciao everyone hahaha Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Amitabh! Ami-ta-bha— A-mee-tah-bhaa?