I give my life to the Buddha

Good morning everybody. Welcome to Robyn and Matt joining us on Zoom. Just really appreciated walking into the silence of a shrine room full of people. It's different to the silence of Shrine of Empathy of People, and welcoming this morning our new Buddha on the mantelpiece here, who arrived from Taiwan when we were away. An organization in Taiwan sends out free Buddhas to Buddhist temples, and we heard about them through a friend of the temple. So yeah, very happy to have Amita statue here, another Amita statue. So we will— many of you may have heard that my, my lovely friend Terry, um, welcome, my lovely friend Terry died on Wednesday this week after a long illness. And you'll know him through his motto, the three active virtues that we read out during practice every practice session, no blame, be kind of everything. And I attended his funeral online on Wednesday when we were away, and a couple of people that spoke shared his motto. And so this morning, Sam is going to read to you from Terry's book, the, the book through which I found him and became friends with him, and then I'll maybe speak about the reading later on. So thank you, Sam. Over to you. Okay.

The Tisserana are three vows one takes with the precepts, on which we recite each morning service, sometimes called the Three Refuges. The usual translation is: I take refuge in the Buddha, I take refuge in the Dharma, I take refuge in the Sangha. Edo Roshi feels this translation does not capture the spirit of the practice. It should be: I give my life to the Buddha, I give my life to the Dharma, I give my life to the Sangha. To many, this may have the sense of self-flagellation. I'll give up everything and then I'll finally get it. No, you also have to give up giving up, and you can't wait around for tomorrow. A good friend and my spiritual guardian, my sponsor when I was ordained, once told me that in the dokusan, he came in, made his bows, and said to Roshi, 'Just sitting.' He felt he had really gotten that expression. Used so often in Roshi's own talks that he had penetrated it and absorbed its essence. He spoke it, he thought, with the right emphasis for Roshi to see how clear his understanding was. Roshi smiled. He leaned over and drew a line on the floor with his finger in front of his friend's knees. Sit as though this were the edge of the universe.

Okay, so you heard Ei Do Roshi. We'll now be sitting as if we are on the edge of the universe. Namami Devi.

Om Namite Wari. Om Namite Wari.

Om Namite Wa.

Breathe. Om Namah Shivay. Om Namah Shivay.

Listen to me.

Om Namah Shivay. Free. Om Namite Wahre. Om Namite Wahre. Om Namite Om Namite Wali. Om Namite Wali.

Om Namite A refugee, I go to the Buddha. The one who is awake and full of love.

The one who is awake and full of love.

Namo Buddhaya.

Namo Buddhaya.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.

All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.

Namo Dharmaya.

Namo Dharmaya.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

Those who live in the Buddha's light.

Those who live in the Buddha's light.

Namo Sanghaya.

Namo Sanghae!

With faith in the Three Jewels—

with faith in the Three Jewels—

and in light of my human tendencies— I pray that I may become aware—

I pray that I may become aware—

when I take life— I pray that I may become aware—

I pray that I may become aware—

of when I take what is not freely given. I pray that I may become aware— of when I fall into sexual misconduct. I pray that I may become aware— of when I fall into wrong speech. I pray that I may become aware— of when I become intoxicated.

Of what I become results against it.

No blame.

No blame.

Be kind.

Be kind.

Love everything.

Love everything. Innumerable are sentient beings. We vow to save them all. Inexhaustible are deluded passions. We vow to transform them. Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings. We vow to master them all. Infinite is the Buddha's way. We vow to progress calmly and deeply.

So, um, in my life I have tended to push myself too hard in a very kind of, uh, self-will kind of way. And so in my writing and in the things I say, I often emphasize gentleness and easing up and not, um, not stepping into things that are too difficult for us. And I really love this, this reading from Terry because it, it provides a balance to that, that, that this thing that I'm doing here right now is the most important thing in my life, and everything else stands on that. When Aido Roshi gave his friend that slap, it was to— it was in hope of getting him to see that he couldn't fall into just repeating what the teacher said or doing what the teacher told him to, or thinking that he kind of feeling a bit smug that he'd got it that he'd, he'd taken on the teaching and was embodying it. But his teacher was saying to him, no, you haven't got it. This is the most important thing in your life. It's really deadly serious. And I think that this understanding is more difficult when our lives are relatively easy, that we have this comfort. There's always dukkha, we can't escape dukkha, but maybe the dukkha is a bit milder. We manage to arrange ourselves in a way that we're not seeing the holes in ourself or seeing the holes in the world. We're not seeing the edge of the universe. And sometimes it's only when life is more difficult that we really understand what refuge means. There are so many things that we take refuge in day by day. That we're likable, that we have nice food, that we have a job, that, that, um, we know who we are, that we've got friends, that all of these things that we kind of build around ourselves to try and avoid the reality that all of that can just go at any second, just get swept off the table. And when it's all swept off the table, we see the Buddha. We see that all along, all of these things were just making us feel better, but that the only thing we need is refuge. That when everything else seems impossible, the Buddha is still there, the Dharma is still there. And of course, in those moments, we might not feel that. We might feel that we've been abandoned. We might feel that we are alone. And even then, in the depth of our despair, the Buddha is just behind us waiting for us to lean back. I really admired the way that Terry led his life. He He produced these huge artworks with spray paint in his art studio, and whenever his health allowed him to, he'd get back to it. And there were hundreds of them in there, and he'd read and study and write to people, and he'd do his practice every morning. Every evening. There was a fierceness to him, kind of burning bright wisdom and love. And I'm hoping that you can feel some of that seriousness, which of course always has little twists of humor in it. In my words today, that Terry is with us, encouraging us on, that life is difficult sometimes, and we are never alone. We always have an embutsi. So we'll transfer— I'm not sure if anyone's already transferred merit to Terry, but we'll definitely do it again now. Transferring merit to Terry, to his children Connor and Brynner, to to their spouses and to everyone who love him.

By your vows and through your grace, the Lord hath done his peace.

Satya Robyn, Satya Robyn, Satya Robyn, may I care for all living things. Smaller version. Thank you.

I started standing to attention.

Yeah, it sort of takes the space. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it looks rather beautiful on the marble. It's quite nice on there, isn't it? I like— you've got the backlights in the mirror. Yeah, and also it's just like