This content was created by Satya Robyn. This content was uploaded by Satya Robyn. This is a YouTube video titled "In praise of the word 'and'" (created 2020-04-08). It is a short reflective monologue by a single speaker (labelled SPEAKER A), who identifies as a psychotherapist, offering personal thoughts and coping advice during the COVID-19 “new normal.” The speaker acknowledges their relative privilege (no young children, access to outdoor space, stable work and finances) while describing simultaneous difficult reactions (anxiety, frustration, dependence on small comforts, news-checking). The central message is to use the word “and” to hold and validate conflicting feelings without shutting parts of yourself down, creating space for multiple experiences. The content is a personal talk/reflection focused on mental health and emotional validation.
Chapters
Good morning. I've had to slide my computer around this morning because the sun's too bright, which is rather wonderful. I wanted to talk today about the— in praise of the word 'and'. Like many of you, I'm sure, I've been up and down with over the past few weeks, months, with processing the new normal. And one of the things that keeps coming back to me is this idea that I am not entitled to have the feelings I'm having or the reactions I'm having because I'm lucky, I'm one of the lucky ones. It is true that I am supremely lucky. I don't have 3 small children under 4 to occupy. I haven't got any children. I've got a little dog. I have the temple garden to wander around in, which is really beautiful, a veg patch to keep me occupied. We have the Malvern Hills just behind our house so we can legally go on our walk a day up there, up lots of steps, which is probably doing me good. And financially, so far things are fine. The, the psychotherapy work that I do to make my living is continuing online, and so really We have enough food. I have a lovely husband. Really, in some ways, I can't imagine how I could be more blessed. And I have had various reactions to what's been happening. I've had rebellious parts that haven't wanted to be told told what to do by the government, although I completely understand why and actually think that they should have gone much further much quicker, but that's another story. I have parts that have really depended on small comforts like, you know, going on day trips to the countryside and having meals out. That are kind of flailing about a bit. I hadn't realised how much I rely on some of those simple things in order to feel sane, in order to hold everything together. I have had anxiety about becoming ill myself or people I love becoming ill, or how is it that our Prime Minister is ill and what will that mean for the way that the country is governed. I've had issues with checking the news too often and getting lost on the computer, etc., etc., etc. And some of that experience, some of those reactions, has been quite deep. It's been difficult. It's been difficult. So this is where the 'and' is really helpful, because I am so I am supremely lucky and I am having a hard time, and that's okay. I think that we often misunderstand things like— something that often comes up is blame, that if the other person didn't mean to be horrible to us, then we're not allowed to be angry at them, we're not allowed to feel disappointed or whatever it is we feel. The other person didn't mean to be awful to us, and they were awful, and it's okay to have feelings about that. It's as if we're building a bigger space for the different things that are happening inside us, and that allows all those different things to breathe, to be, to be as they are, rather than being pushed into a different shape or squeezed out, because when we try and squeeze things out, they just get louder. We know what it's like when someone tries to shut us up when we've got a really important point we're making. It just makes it bigger. And a lot of us are walking around with lots of big things happening at the same time at the moment. So my offering My suggestion today is that you insert the word 'and' whenever you can, especially when you're talking about how you feel. And— my throat's been making funny noises, and I'm going to carry on. And just notice when the opposite happens. Notice when a part of you wants another part of you to shut up and the effect that that has on that part, and then notice what that part does to that part. Just notice the argument happening and let both bits know that you hear them. Let both bits know that their experience is valid from their own perspective, even if you can see some different facts from, from the position that they're coming from, it makes complete sense what they are doing or feeling or experiencing. And that's true for all of us at all times. So hopefully that will enable a little spaciousness around this huge thing that we're all going through together and separately, because we're all having very different, different reactions and experiences because we're all different. Thank you for listening, and I hope you have a lovely day. Take care.
