Morning practice: front side, back side, falling maple leaves

Good morning everybody, welcome if you are joining us in the shrine room, welcome to Claire, Paul and Philip who are joining us on Zoom from a distance. As well. This morning we're going to start with a Dharma glimpse that Paul has written for us and he's going to read out. So I'll make sure I turn the volume up on the laptop. Can you hear me? Yep, whenever you're ready, Paul.

Okay, Dharma glimpse for March. I recently wrote down: wake up 5 AM, 108 nenbutsu, and sit for 1 hour each day. But if I'm tired, 5 AM might become 7 AM, the hour might turn into a quick 10 minutes, and 108 recitations might condense into the standing bow. I must live in the world, and sometimes the world has other plans for me. So I wake up as early as I can with the intention of following my plan, and that's a good start. But I listen for life's cues. If I am nodding off in meditation, then it's good to sleep. If my daughter is crying, it's good to see to her needs. All of this is practice, although my unsatisfied ego doesn't think so. It wants to bypass the mundane and do real spiritual stuff. I can see how this plays out, how I want things to be a certain way, and if things are not the way I want them to be, it's like having an itch I can't scratch. I want to feel the satisfaction of knowing that practice is getting me somewhere., and this will all mean something. So it's important for me to bring myself into alignment with the Buddha, who embraces life just as it is and accepts me just as I am, helping to dissolve my fear that my practice is not good enough and that I am not good enough. Namo Amida Butsu.

Thank you. And we'll put that up on the website as well for anyone that wants to— okay, and the newsletter for anyone that wants to read it again.

Excuse me.

So we're going to a period of quiet sitting together. Invitation to notice the breath if that's helpful. Not changing how you breathe, just noticing how it is from one moment to the next. Is it a long breath? Is it a short breath? Noticing the pause between breaths as we bring awareness to it. Perhaps it changes of its own accord. Perhaps the mind begins to become quieter. Thoughts do appear. If distractions appear, gently noticing what they are and returning awareness to the breath.

Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabh. Amitabh.

Amitabh.

Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha.

Amitabha.

Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha.

Amitabha.

Amitabha.

Amitabha. So in a moment we will recite the refuges and precepts together and the Bodhisattva vows. I will ask you to repeat the refuges and precepts. If you do want to see the words, so a little A5 piece of paper that's floating around. The refuges and precepts go back 2,000 years, 2,500 years to the time of the Buddha. The refuges are the things he invited people to put their trust in when they joined him. Himself, Buddha, meaning awakened teacher, and other awakened teachers. The Dharma, the teaching of those teachers, and what the teaching is pointing towards. The Buddha once described realizing enlightenment as uncovering a path that already existed in a forest. So this sense that the Dharma is out there somewhere, we just have to notice it. And the Sangha, the community of people engaged in spiritual practice. So For refuge I go to the Buddha.

For refuge I go to the Buddha.

Namo Buddhaya.

Namo Buddhaya.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

Namodhammāya.

Namodhammāya.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

Namo sanghaya.

Namo sanghaya.

And now the 5 precepts that the Buddha gave to lay people which actually come from before the Buddha's time. There were previous teachers also encouraging this ethical container. And the idea, a lot of the idea at the time was if you don't cause trouble in your life, it's easier to do meditation, essentially. So these aren't something to beat ourselves up with, but they're just to sort of something to get curious about in our own lives. With faith in the Three Jewels— I pray that I may not take life. With faith in the Three Jewels— I pray that I may not steal. With faith in the Three Jewels—

I pray that I may not fall into sexual misconduct. I pray that I may not fall into sexual misconduct—

With faith in the Three Jewels. —I pray that I may not fall into wrong speech— —with faith in the Three Jewels. I pray that I may avoid intoxication. And now the six words from Terry Keenan that sum up the spiritual life. No blame. No blame. Be kind.

Be kind. Love everything. Love everything.

And finally, the Bodhisattva vows from Genshin that we do in call and response. So Satya will sing or chant the first line and then we'll respond. And the words are on a piece of paper if you want to join in.

Innumerable are sentient beings. We vow to save them all.

Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings.

We vow to foster them all.

Inexhaustible are the Vedic passions.

We vow to transform them all. We bow to Properly Complete.

That's not true, is it? It's an inexhaustible passion.

Thank you.

Now, what's the other one?

A delusion.

Delusion. Yeah.

As we were walking around the garden earlier, I was struck by a couple of things. One was the, um, the elder, the branches of elder that I cut down about 6 months ago and that aren't attached to anything had new growth springing out of them, which just shows how long life persists and tries to burst. Forth. And the other was moving from noticing the flowers, a couple of bees, things in the pond, things that I really enjoyed, the different colors of green. So coming around one of the paths in the edge of the garden, and suddenly here's the gabions, the wire cage filled with bricks that aren't as neat as I wanted them to be. And here's a compost bag that's blown in from somewhere. And the judging mind, oh, this isn't as worthy of my attention, this isn't as pretty, I don't like this bit as much compared to all the beautiful flowers and the birdsong and sky. And I was reminded of a haiku by Ryōkan which is something like front side, back side, maple leaf falling. But as this leaf falls from the tree in autumn, it shows both of its sides. And the invitation in our Buddhist practice is the same, not to hide anything, not to be ashamed of what's behind the scenes. It's so easy in our life to put on a public face and have a private face. And actually, that's appropriate and skillful in some situations, but it's really important that we are able to recognize the whole of ourselves, the front side and the backside, and to welcome both of those in the way that I was inviting myself to shift from judging those things in the garden to welcoming them and seeing them with friendliness rather than wariness or reluctance. And Pure Land Buddhism suggests that there is this force of loving kindness in the universe that we call Amida Buddha or the Pure Land, that is able to support us in that when we feel loved, it's much easier to notice the whole of ourselves when something else isn't judging us, in the same way that it's easier to talk to a friend who doesn't judge us. Than it is to talk to a friend who makes all sorts of strange noses and noises and turns their nose up when we say particular things. I don't think I've got any friends that make strange noises, but you never know. Everyone needs a hobby. For the past couple of weeks, I've been talking to someone in my study group about faith. They've been reading about Pure Land Buddhism and, and really struggling to make sense of what that means. And I was reminded that when I first started saying the Nembutsu, which is the name of the practice we did earlier, the name of the group of practices where you say the name of Amida Buddha I didn't have any sense of that loving kindness outside of me in the universe, and I barely had any sense of it inside of me. I'd really fallen into being very skeptical of anything that I couldn't touch or smell or taste or hear. But I was being invited to trust that it was possible to show both my front side and my back side, to show that the good things about me and show the things I didn't like about myself, that it was possible to welcome all of those. I was invited to think about myself as a flawed human being that had greed and hate and delusion in the mix. That was an easier proposition to accept than having faith in something. So when I started saying the Nembutsu, I understood it as me, a small ordinary human being full of these wayward thoughts, just coming into relationship with the whole universe, which was much vaster than I am. And that did give me some sense of that quality of acceptance. Perhaps looking up at the night sky, particularly in places where there aren't any street lamps, and seeing many more stars and that kind of path of the Milky Way passing overhead. I was able to have a sense of being received. Then I just kept doing the practice because people I trusted were saying it was a good thing to do. And the more I experimented with that idea that maybe there is something, occasionally I would start to have a felt sense of 'Oh yeah, maybe that is true. Maybe there is something.' And 'Oh yes, now I can feel it a bit. I'm being received by something I can't entirely put words to that accepts me just as I am.' And through that acceptance, it becoming more and more possible to be less worried about and less ashamed. Of my whole being. And of course, the less we're worried about that, the less we judge ourselves, the easier it is to be compassionate, um, both to ourselves and to others. And the more likely those things that we don't like about ourselves are to drop away in their own time when we stop hiding them. So I guess that's my invitation this morning, even if none of this kind of religious paraphernalia makes any sense, to trust that it is possible to welcome the front side and the back side, the lovely and the things that we judge about ourselves. And just experiment with that idea that in doing that, we'll be received.

Namamitabhu.

So now we have time for prostrations. In a minute, Satya will— in a moment, Satya will ring the bell and we'll bow to the Buddha, which is the kind of way of enacting what I've just been talking about. And we'll chant Nam-myoho-renge-kyo as we bow. Simply, we're going to— most of us will go down to kneeling. Please join as much as your body and mind allow.

We dedicate our merits of this incense offering to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas throughout space and time. May it be fragrant as Earth herself, reflecting our careful efforts, our wholehearted awareness, and the fruit of understanding slowly ripening. May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true home.

So we'll bow first to one side and then the other, to each other. It's the main shrine. Satya Robyn, our seats, about our seats. We'll finish by reciting the closing verse together, which is on this whole A5 piece of paper. Do unmute if you are on Zoom and would like to join us. Blessed are Amitabha's lights. May we care for all living beings and the holy earth. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.