Powerlessness, influence and being like fish out of water

Welcome everybody.

We have a very small gathering in the shrine room tonight and a lovely couple of people joining us online, so welcome, welcome. We're accompanied, however, by a lot of beautiful birdsong, many, many voices, and the voices of the bells. So I thought we could read the Statement of Faith. I don't know if this is on the website. Is the Statement of Faith on the website?

Okay, if you go to the website, if on the browser, if you start typing White Earth in comes up as one of the suggestions if you want to put it in the chat.

Okay, shall I put this— give me a nod, yes, would you— shall I put the Statement of Faith into the chat so you too can open it up and read it with us? Give me a thumbs up, or— oh, I can't see because there's a thing signing away. So do that again. Yes, okay, I will do that.

Great.

Oh yeah, it's the number one hit. That was nice and easy. Thank you, Casper.

Chat link.

Okay, so if you click that link in the chat, that should take you to the website page where the Statement of Faith is written. Just give me a thumbs up when you found it. Yeah, we've both found it. Have you— are you there, Klaeti?

Okay, statement of our practice is to open us to the wisdom and compassion of the Buddhas. Our heart practice is the Nembutsu, the recitation of Amida Buddha's name. We also connect with the Buddha's wisdom through practices like listening to teachings, meditation, and being in the natural world. We treasure Shakyamuni Buddha, who set the wheel of the Dharma turning. We learn from Buddhist teachers throughout the ages, awakened beings everywhere, and the world itself. We especially revere the great Pure Land sages Honen and Shinran. Held in Amida's loving gaze, we come to know ourselves deeply, both our bambu nature and our Buddha nature. As bombu beings, we grasp at unreliable refuges, and sometimes we cause harm. Knowing the harm we cause offers us the chance to lessen that harm. Seeing our fallible nature also strengthens our refuge in Amida Buddha. The more deeply we take refuge in Amida The more our greed, ill will, and delusion will melt like ice into water, allowing our natural compassion to flow into the world. We trust that at the center of each of us is the heart that loves all living beings and that wishes for their liberation. We take action powered by this love. In response to suffering in the world, we pay attention to the causes of suffering. We mitigate for power. We practice discerning what work is ours to do. We wish that all who may benefit are able to access the jewels of the Buddha's teachings. Moved by the Buddha's love, we vow to take care of all living beings. Including ourselves. How tenderly by the Buddha's love we find clarity, consolation, and settled faith.

Moving into some meditation.

Namokwanji in vosat. Namokwanji in vosat. Namokwanji in vosat. Namokwanji Namo Kwanshi Inbho Saat! Nammo Kwan Shi Inboo Saaattt— Naaamoo Kuwaan Shee Innboo Saattt... Noow Moo Koaan Shii Inbow Saatth? Namokwanji Ngo Saat! Namoh Kwan Chi Inbo Saat! Namo Kwanchi N'bo Sat. Namo Kwanchi N'bo Sat. Namo Kwanchi N'bo Sat. Namo Kwanchi Namo Kwanshi N'bosat! Nam-o Kwan-shi In-bo-sa-t? Na-mo-Kwansi-Bo-Saat— na mo kwanchin bo sa-at... Namoh Quan Chi Ngo Saat! Namoh Kwan Ji Namo Sadhguru—Namoh Kwan Ji Inbho Saat! Namoh Kwan Ji Inbo Sahad? Namoh Kwanji Inbosahd?! Namokwan shi nbo sat namo kwan chi en bo saat namo kwanchin bosah—namo kwanshien bosaam? Namo Kwansi Inbosaan! Namoh Quan Chi in both sides. Namoh Quan Chi in both sides.

Namoh Quan Chi.

For refuge, I go to the Buddha. For refuge I go to the Buddha, the one who is awake and full of love. The one who is awake and full of love.

Namo Buddha. Namo Buddha. For refuge I go to the Dharma.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.

All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

Those who live in the Buddha's light.

Those who live in the Buddha's light. Namo Sangha.

Namo Sangha. For refuge I go to the Earth.

For refuge I go to the Earth.

The holy ground of awakening.

The holy ground of awakening. Namobunyay. Namobunyay.

With faith in the Four Refuges.

With faith in the Four Refuges.

And in light of my human tendencies.

And in light of my human tendencies.

I pray that I may become aware. I pray that I may become aware. Of when I take life.

Of when I take life.

I pray that I may become aware—

I pray that I may become aware of when I take what is not freely given.

Of when I take what is not really given.

I pray that I may become aware— I pray this time they come away— of when I fall into sexual misconduct.

Sexual misconduct.

I pray that I may become aware—

I praise it— I make them aware of when I've fallen into wrong speak.

I pray that I may become aware. I pray that I may become aware of when I become intoxicated.

Intoxicated.

No blame. No blame. Be kind. Be kind.

Love everything. Love everything.

We vow to save them all.

Inexhaustible are the Vedic passions.

We vow to transform them all.

Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings.

We vow to master them all. Infinite is the Buddha's way, we vow to fulfill it completely.

Mami Dabu. I'm appreciating in this moment how the evening is— the clouds kind of descending, and then the candles are like getting more glowy. So, well, I thought I'd talk a little bit tonight about powerlessness and the illusion of control. So I'm going to start with a funny story. I think it's quite funny, and people here who might have heard a little bit of it already, and it's to do with my motorbike and how my motorbike is being a really good teacher for powerlessness and lack of control at the moment. So I was having some issues with my motorbike and it would start but it wouldn't run. And, and, um, I thought, I'm really gonna give this a proper go despite being quite bad at this kind of thing, but I really enjoy doing it. And, um, so I managed to find the air filter, and I cleaned the air filter and it wasn't the air filter, and I cleaned the carb on the outside and that didn't help. And I managed to find a screw to drain some of the old petrol out of the bottom of the carburetor, but I also undid two other screws because I thought they might be the right screw, and in the— in the— by— and doing the other two completely offset the air-fuel balance and the idle. And then I managed to find out how to reset them, and I thought, this is it now. I reset the settings and it won't even start. And then this mysterious electrical fault developed, and I'm like, wow, it's gone from a mechanical fault to an electrical fault. So I got the battery out and I had to look at it. Not that you can really tell anything from the outside of the battery. And I plugged it into a battery charger that I thought looked much better than my old battery charger because it was like sleeker and it was, it was like a better name, better well-known name, and it did more fancy things. And I thought that's going to sort the battery out. And then I put it back in and it's still got an electrical fault. And I poke around in the the little bit of wiring that I can reach, and I can't see anything wrong. And I get the battery out again, and I plug it into my old friendly reliable battery charger, and it says it's flat, almost completely flat. So I'm like, well, this is it then, this is the reason. So I charge it up with my old battery charger, and I put it back in the bike, and now it's got some electrical power and it still won't start. And then I have a look at the spark plug and it's fine. And I put the spark plug back in and I think maybe I haven't put it in quite back in quite right. I tried to get it back out and I can't. And this is taking place over many weeks, and thankfully I don't need the motorbike for work anymore. So this is frustrating and a bit sad because I'm seeing all these other bikers riding along in this sunshine we've been having and thinking, I could be doing that, but I can't because my motorbike is broken down. Um, and it's a re— it's, it's a really, really good, very minor everyday reminder that Although I can influence certain things, I can't control. There's a lot which is outside of my control. So I can influence that bike to try and make it work, but ultimately it's out of my control, as with a lot of things. And over the years, my bike has actually been a repeatedly good reminder of minor powerlessness. There was some years ago my motorbike broke down. The job I was doing for my main income— and I was only doing a little bit of therapy work— my main income was a zero-hours contract, and it just suddenly stopped giving me any work. And I had to move out of the place I was living in overnight because of a maintenance issue. And I was like, oh my God, my world's falling apart! I have nowhere to live, but I have no transport, and I have no work, very little work, and no means of getting to that work because I have no transport. And, you know, it was, it was a really good, rich experience of powerlessness, and it brought with a lot of gifts. A friend put me up for a while Some other people helped me out, and actually it was the push that I needed to actually go full-time in the therapy, although obviously that didn't happen overnight. And I really went deep into my spiritual practice. The person I was living with who was putting me up for a while was also very into chanting and playing music and So we did a lot of chanting and drumming and that kind of thing together, which was a real gift. It was a real gift. And those gifts are more obvious, I think, when we experience powerlessness than when things seem to be going fine. So like, for most of us, especially here in the West, we have quite a lot of influence over quite a lot of things. We can influence the kind of work that we do. We normally have some amount of influence over that, over the people that we spend our time with, normally some amount of influence over where we live and what the kind of places that we live in and what hobbies we do. You can have access to a vast, vast range of things. And when things are going smoothly, it's really easy to slip unconsciously into a sense of being in control of life, of being in charge of our life. We're like, yeah, we're in charge of my life, I'm in control of my life. But of course, that's a complete illusion, because then someone close to us dies, or they get ill, or something goes wrong. Oh, we're set— we're let go at a job, or our motorbike breaks down, or something we— that we really thought was going to happen doesn't happen, or it gets delayed, or it happens in a different way than we expected it to happen. And we're faced with the reality again, that reminder that we're not at all as in control as we think we are. And I'm reminded of the image that, um, there's this story about Shakyamuni Buddha and looking around and seeing people like fish out of water. And I, and, and like, I feel like that's evocative image. You think about fish like flopping about, desperately gasping for, for its last few breaths. With that desperation and that, you know, it can't control its environment, it's out of the water, needs to be back in water, but it's out of the water and it's flopping about and it's vulnerable and it's dying. And that's how it can be sometimes for us all, flopping around desperately trying to breathe. And sometimes, if we can relax enough, then we get back into the ocean of the flow of life, the flowing ocean of life. We get— we can regain that sense of being back in the water if the conditions support that, if we were able to feel safe enough to relax. Into that. And then something happens and we flip back out of the water and we're on the shore and we're flapping around. And then maybe if we're lucky, we get to go back into the flow, back into the ocean again. And I think that's really endearing. Like, and I have this image, it's really endearing. It's It's really endearing, and I feel like, you know, like Amida seeing all of that, seeing us flopping about desperate, and seeing us when we're able to get into the flow, into the water of life in that way, and gazing kindly on it all. So some gratitude to my motorbike for being broken down, for being a good reminder of everyday powerlessness, and for the bigger stuff that also reminds us of our powerlessness as well as our influence.

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. All Buddhas and Bodhisattvas throughout space and time, may it be fragrant as earth itself, reflecting our careful efforts, our wholehearted mindfulness, and the fruits of understanding and slow ripening. May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true home. Transfer merit for Vanessa and Haley, Jamé's mother and sister. By your vows and through your grace, Satya Robyn, Satya Robyn.

Announcements.

We all know that it is Hanamatsuri Day on Saturday, so we're really looking forward to that. It's actually today.

Oh, it is Hanamatsuri Day today! Praise be the baby Buddha!

We'll celebrate on Saturday. We'll celebrate on Saturday and do some lovely refuges. Wonderful. Okay. Bless by Amitabha's light, may we care for all living things upon the earth.