Practice - friends & cat-stroking

Welcome everybody, uh, welcome to Beth and Katie Zoom and everyone in the room. So we will begin today with a Dharma Glimpse by Aidan, so I will hand over to him.

Last week I unexpectedly reconnected with an old friend with whom I'd once been very close but fell out with 5 long years ago. We'd made apologies for what happened and spoken on and off since then, but my anxieties, my clinging to old memories and fears, held us back from really coming back into each other's lives. Perhaps I was held back by my ego, by my desire not for something but to avoid something. To avoid confronting the past and risking embracing a renewed friendship that may end in the same way again. I'd long thought that we'd fallen out of each other's lives for good. I'd accepted that. Despite the occasional text message, we fell out of touch yet again not too long ago, and I felt I'd wasted my final chance at reconciliation. But a chance encounter on a train and a conversation with a mutual friend led us to spend real time together for the first time in half a decade. It was strange, awkward to start with, but then special, like reliving old times. It's left me thinking ever since about second chances and the all too strange coincidences of life. At a time when I was thinking a lot about how I'd messed up an opportunity to reconnect, accepting the consequences of that, everything just seemed to line up well beyond either of our control to bring us together. I can't explain how this happened or why, but I've accepted after meditating on it that I don't need to. I must just be grateful that it happened at all. It's got me thinking too about that most important concept, impermanence. The impermanence of our original friendship, the impermanence of our distance, the impermanence of our lives and how much things have changed for both of us in the years since. Perhaps the impermanence of our renewed relationship. I spent so many years desiring to fix things between us and yet desiring to avoid fresh hurt. Every step forward we've taken before has left me wanting to step back away again. But now that that desire is met, what now? I know that the answer must be to just enjoy it, to accept what we had, what we lost, and what we have again. Perhaps that's easier said than done, but I must now put my practice to work to value what we've got now and accept that things will come and go as life intended. I've considered that maybe the lesson I'm meant to draw from this was I was only able to reach my desire to reconcile and reunite with my friend only when I no longer desired it. It came to me naturally when my desire was lost, replaced by grief and then acceptance, and there was nothing left to fear and no more hope of seeking it. In acceptance of what I had came what I'd sought, and happiness came not through wanting this but by coming to me when the time was right for me to receive it, free of fear and prejudgments and preconceptions of what I wanted from it. After all, our reunion came about not as a result of me seeking my desire but through pure quirk of fate. I never believed that we would reconnect, but life made it happen. Perhaps we will be friends for many years again, perhaps we will not. Life will decide, and I must just play with whatever hand I'm dealt and accept our friendship, however long or short it may be this time, for the unexpected gift that it is.

Okay, thank you. So if you missed Aidan's dharmagandha, it's on the website so you can catch up later. We will spend some time sitting quietly together, and as you sit in silence Maybe we'll do some listening meditation tonight. Just notice the noises that are around you. I can hear a bird. Hope you get some traffic. Might be able to hear yourself breathing or other people kind of rustling a bit. Just allow all those noises to be there. Don't try and change anything. If you notice yourself drifting off and thinking about something else, just bring your attention gently back to what you can hear. And after some quiet sitting, and if you're, if you're lucky, you'll just kind of feel things settling a little bit, we'll do some chanting together. And this evening we will chant Amitabha. So do join in when you get the tune.

Amee Tava. Amee Tava. Amee Tava. Amee Tava. Amee Tava. Ame Saba. Ame Saba. Ame Saba. Ame Saba. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Ameesha. Ameesha.

Ameesha.

Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha.

Amitabha.

Brahmi, Shaba, Brahmi.

And I will recite some things together that are on your bit of paper if you want to read it or just repeat after me. For refuge I go to the Buddha. For refuge I go to the Buddha, the one who is awake and full of love.

The one who is awake and full of love.

Namo Buddha.

Namo Buddha.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

For refuge I go to Dharma.

All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.

All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.

Namo Dhammaya.

Namo Dhammaya.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

Those who live in the Buddha's light.

Those who live in the Buddha's light.

Namo sanghaya.

Namo sanghaya.

With faith in the Three Jewels—

With faith in the Three Jewels—

I pray that I may not take life.

Oh, praise! I may not take life.

Faith in the Three Jewels.

The three jewels.

I pray that I may not steal.

I pray that I may not steal—

With faith of 3 jewels!

—with trust to me alone.— "Amitabha!" I am Amitābha's child...

And so on for all three jwals; ...and then we say it together again at night when you go home or before bed? No no yes please do this evening if possible too because there was some confusion about how many times should be said each jewel but now everyone knows what they need to know! So let us begin our practice today by chanting these words once more slowly after Ajahn Brahmachari Chahana who taught them first time around last week also thank him very much indeed he has been such an amazing teacher sometimes people ask why did his name become known like 'Ajahn'?! He says well just look up my history online from India back half century ago which looks nothing alike than anything else ever written since except maybe one book called After Death Stories About Me But anyway um uh here comes your question Ajaan Brahmachara Chaṇa asked yesterday morning okay can everybody repeat those lines out loud!? Amen amen, satyam namaha—I'm sitting still—with faith into their heart—in Maitreyyasutra—and keep repeating until everything settles down—a little bit later tonight perhaps—as long till tomorrow afternoon basically right?, yeah? Okay great thanks guys good luck doing something special hopefully next weekend have fun seeing family members etcetera enjoy yourself make sure to stay safe bye-bye friends! Namaste. Thank You Satsang Guruji. Om Mani Padme Hum, Jai Gurudev Ji Buddha Devotee Pray For Us All!! Ong Namo Amida Buttōkyo Gohonzonni Kyojo Nakusatsu Hoko Zen Center Thailand, Bangkok Malaysia, Good Morning Nepal Now With www.zen-center-thailand.com/europe/Thank-You Page Facebook page @ZenchakraTherapyMeditationCenter faith in the Three Jewels, I pray that I may avoid intoxication.

I pray that I may avoid intoxication. No blame.

No blame. Be kind.

Be kind. Love everything. Love everything.

Innumerable are sentient beings.

We vow to save them all. Inexhaustible are devoted passions, we vow to transform them all. Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings, we vow to master them all. Infinitus the Buddha's way. We vow to follow it completely.

Aidan spoke in Dharma Glimpse about desire, about wanting something. And desire is one of the three passions— is it three? Poisons. Poisons. I knew that wasn't the right word. Passions works, but poisons is the official term. One of the three poisons in Buddhism. The first is that we want something, want more of it, we want it to carry on. The second is that we hate something, we dislike something, we push it away. And the third is that we try to pretend it's not there, kind of ignorance. And Buddhism says that all of our trouble comes from these three things: that we want something but we don't get it, We don't want something, but we do get it. Or we're kind of deluded, we're disconnected, we're cut off. And I was wondering about whether that means that if we're to live happy lives, or if we're to be good Buddhists, that means that we can't ever want anything or not want anything. And my sense is that the Buddha didn't want us to become like robots. He lived a life that was a happy life, but that we get into trouble when we feel that we will only be okay if something turns out a certain way. We will only be okay if we get to eat a brownie, or we will only be okay if we don't have to see that person we really don't like. We will only be okay if we can ignore the thing that we've been putting off. So our existence depends on those things. And the Buddha taught that when we're in that place of not being okay unless, that's when we're miserable. That's when we can't appreciate the other things that are around us. We can't tap into any feelings of peace because, because we're just preoccupied with that thing, whatever it is. And I'm sure you all have examples in your own life of those things that get in the way of everything else, maybe anxieties or fantasies or the kinds of preoccupations that stop us from noticing how beautiful the flowers are in the shrine, how lucky we are to have enough food in our cupboards or to, to live in this beautiful place. So it's all very well to know that the three poisons are what we want to get rid of or what we want to avoid, but how do we do that? And there are different ways of answering that. When I open my eyes to look at the time during meditation, I I saw Beth stroking her cats, and I was just thinking about how what we do when we come here into this room and practice together, what we do when we sit quietly at home or when we chant, is offer ourselves to be stroked by the Buddha. We offer ourselves to be soothed, to be reassured, to be looked after, to be tended to, to be cared for. And we don't always feel that. Sometimes we might feel the opposite. Sometimes when we sit in the silence, it might give stuff a chance to kind of get churned up and rise up. But we trust somehow that when we come to these places, when we set the intention of connecting with the Buddha— the Buddha is love— that we are offering ourselves to be loved. And we're not really in control of that very much. Like a cat can come and kind of nudge us, and if we're busy, we might not stroke it. But the Buddha is always there offering strokes. The Buddha is always there offering attention, and it's us that don't make ourselves available. It's us that are preoccupied by things, or that don't open our eyes, or that don't, don't allow things to settle, to let some of that in. And it's really annoying that often when we really want something, it kind of stops it, like you were saying. And that can happen here too. If you really— if we really feel like we need the Buddha to do something, then that can make it harder to receive. But that doesn't matter too much because the Buddha is working away even as we try and resist it, and that something slowly sinks into us over time that helps us to feel a little bit more relaxed. And so when we don't get the thing we wanted, or when we do get the thing we didn't want, it's not the end of the world, it's more survivable, and we can let go of it more quickly and move on to the next thing. And notice the flowers again, and notice the birds singing, and taste the brownie, and enjoy stroking our cats or dog or pet of your choice. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. So now we'll stand up and do prostrations together towards the Buddha, and the chant that we do is Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. So do as much of that as you feel able to do. Sorry, we'll stand up when Fi rings the bell. It's like Simon Says. Namaste, baby.

Namoha mi tamu! Namoha mi tamu! Namoha ji jaya!

Namoha mi namaha!

our wholehearted awareness, and the fruits of understanding slowly ripen.

May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true purpose. There are no more to bid, so if you'd like to come back to your seats and stand at your seats, we'll transfer the merit of this evening's practice to all people in the past and present who have been on the end of homophobia or transphobia. Today is the anniversary of the Stonewall riots. Riots, yeah. Uprising. Yeah, uprising. So holding all those people in mind as we pass over all the the happiness and the peace that we've generated tonight to them. By your vows and through your grace, O Nanjuna, peace. We're going to finish by bowing to each other. And then, sip a dab. And then just tidy your seats and bow to your seats. So a reminder that this Saturday, uh, from 9 till 5, we have a retreat day here with various things you can drop into. We've got a walk on the hills, a little meditation walk in the garden, a talk. I'll be giving a talk on going gently, and so if you want to come to any of that, you're very welcome. Oh, Casper's just gone.

No idea what that means. Follow the Satya Robyn.

Oh, follow the Satya Robyn. Is that the cat song? Oh yeah, no, it's this Is it— is this Saturday? No, it's Saturday after. So on July 9th, which is two Saturdays, a week and a half, Angie will be running the first kirtan, but hopefully the first of many, in the temple. So it could be in this room, and she'll be leading singing, so we'll all sing together. It's like devotional singing. So if you'd like to come and sing with us, you'd be very welcome. Let Angie know so she can write you on the list. You're not on the list, you're not coming. That's not true. Anything else?