Practice - little glimpses of the Buddha and overwhelm

Namomi Dabu. Welcome everybody, a very warm welcome. Lovely to see Claire on Zoom. Hi Claire and Suzanne, welcome, and welcome to everyone in the shrine room. This morning we will begin with a Dharma glimpse by Kim, who is someone from America who's on our mailing list and has been in contact with us personally. So over to you, Kusuma.

Thank you.

My husband developed cancer in June of 2021. Between COVID and my husband's compromised immunity, it's been a long lockdown for us both. Our time is filled with repeating cycles of hope and disappointment. It's been a painful lesson in not grasping or becoming attached to a particular outcome. It's also a daily lesson in trust that a greater wisdom is at work beyond the reality of the moment. In troubled times, I do my practice reciting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, knowing the words matter. Even if I lack the meditative focus I try to bring each time. I know my caregiving is an opportunity to be of service, practice compassion and patience. But from time to time it hits me that my patient is having a bad day and said something that hurt my feelings. The kitchen needs tending, the laundry baskets are full, and helpers in a rural area face a great demand. And are in short supply. It's easy in those moments to feel like a complete failure, with my practice full of anger, self-pity, frustration, and disappointment. And then, ever so slowly, the sunlight might illuminate one of my Buddhas on my windowsill. A blue heron may float into our pond and offer its calm presence and blue color to our winter day. A subtle stirring of our redwood trees and our wind chimes prompt me to sit down amongst the clutter and open one of my books and allow a random choice to appear. I look down to see a Dharma teaching which seems picked for just that moment. These small moments strung together over my days allow me to know everything will be okay. Life will go on. The moment will heal because I took a moment of compassion for myself and acknowledged I am a foolish being on a journey of teachable moments, and I will be okay.

Now I'll need a book. Thank you, Kusuman. Thank you. As we sit together in the silence, you might want to experiment today with letting the Nembutsu float on your breath. As you breathe in, you can just imagine Namu Ahh, and as you breathe out, Nidabu. Don't change your breath in any way, just let it be where it is. And when your concentration wanders, just bring it back to the Nembutsu floating on your breath. No, no need to be So we'll do some chanting together for a little while, and the chant that we will chant today is, um, Namotassa. On your liturgy sheet. I'm just going to type it into the chat box, so it may not be spelled completely correctly. So it's Namo Tassa Bhagavato Arahato Samma Sambuddhasa, and I can't remember the exact translation, but The words are ways of praising the Buddha, different epithets of the Buddha: World-Honored One, Great One, Wise One. So do join in the chanting when you get the tune, and then we'll fade into silence and sit for a little while more with the Nembutsu.

Namotasa Bhagavatu Arhatu Samasambuddhasa. Namurta sa bhagavatu arahatu samasambuddhasa. Namur, Satya Robyn, Araratu, Sama, Samur, Jas Namur, Satya Robyn. Namotasa, Nakamato, Harakato, Samasambudasana. Namur tasa sang bhagavatu. Arato samasambuddhasa. Namutasa bakanto aratursamasambuddhasa. Namurta Sam, Agatha To, Sam, Samurda Sam. Namur, Tassar, Babagabadu, Mahatu, Sama, Samut, Sa.

We'll now recite the refuge vows and precepts together. So please repeat after me. For refuge I go to the Buddha. For refuge I go to the Buddha. The one who is awake and full of love. The one who is awake and full of love. Namo Buddha. Namo Buddha. For refuge I go to the Dharma. For refuge I go to the Dharma. All that guides us to wisdom and compassion. All that guides us to wisdom and compassion. Namo Dharma. For refuge I go to the Sangha. For refuge all who live in the Buddha's light. All who live in the Buddha's life. Namo dat sanghaya. With faith in the Three Jewels— with faith in the three jewels— I pray that I may not take life. I pray that I may not take life. With faith in the Three Jewels— with faith in the three jewels— I pray that I may not steal. I pray that I may not steal— With faith in The Three Jewels . —with faith in The 3 jewels... ...and then you say it again? "With Faith In..." "...the three jewels." And so on! 'I Pray That' , 'That', ' May Not Steal.' With faith in The Three Jewels ...' ..... With faith in The Three Jewels , I pray that I avoid wrong-speech... ) ....with faith in The Three Jewels . ...... With faith in The Three Jewels , I pray that I prevent intoxication... . I pray that I may avoid intoxication. No blame. No blame. Be kind. Be kind. Love everything. Love everything. Innumerable are sentient beings.

We vow to save them all.

Inexhaustible are deluded passions.

We vow to transform them all.

Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings.

We vow to master them all. Infinite is the Buddha's way. We vow to fulfill it completely.

Welcome, Mark and Philip. So I've been thinking this morning about overwhelm. I was reading last night, I wish I'd brought it with me, but Shinran, the great sage, the founder of the Jodo Shinshu school of Buddhism, made a list of 10 benefits that we receive when we take refuge in Amida Buddha. And unfortunately, he said that fame and money and having our Desires fulfilled wasn't on that list. Um, but it started me thinking about, well, what are the benefits of, uh, of this practice and how, how might we open ourselves up to that benefit? And, uh, at a certain point this week, I, I got into that state where I was completely overwhelmed by um, by a feeling, and that the feeling, or that that part of me, was the only thing that was available. It completely filled me up. And you might know yourself that kind of state of mind where it's a sort of a binary kind of place. It's a black and white place. It's the kind of place where where we think things like, nothing's going to change ever, I'm the worst person in the world, I can't bear this, she is the most, uh, terrible person in the world, he is the most terrible person in the world. Um, there's no nuance, there's just that thing And it, uh, I was thinking about it as you're reading Kim's Dharma Glimpse, that she, she does that little list of, you know, she kind of— there's despair, or there's, um, anger, grief. And I look at this, um, phenomena through two lenses which hopefully end up uh, looking at the same thing, the lens of, uh, Internal Family Systems, the, the way of thinking about our psychology as having different parts of us, and a Buddhist lens. So through the, the Internal Family Systems lens, what's happening is that, that a part of us, one part of us is so distressed, or it's so, um, it needs us to know something, or it's desperate to protect us from something, it just literally fills us completely. It feels— it's like the walls are kind of absolutely tight, tightly packed with this part. And there is no space around that part to see the part, to see that it's a part of us and not everything, or to get any perspective on what's happening. And through a Buddhist lens, this is our greed and our hate and our delusion. It is our— as I read in, uh, Taitetsu Uno's book yesterday, it's our ego shell. It's that kind of powerful protection that, that helps us to feel less vulnerable or less afraid, or helps us to avoid impermanence— tries to help us avoid impermanence. And when we're in these states, it can be impossible to imagine that they will ever shift, or that anything else could could be true. So this is where the Buddha comes in, that even if we can allow ourselves to relax 0.1%, then the Buddha fills that little gap up. The Buddha's light comes in. In Internal Family Systems, we call it Self with a capital S. And when we have a tiny bit of Self available, a tiny bit of Buddha nature available, then we can, we can, we can even imagine that, that this thing that's happening isn't everything, and that maybe we're not the most awful person in the world, or maybe a part of us does some things that are pretty awful, but there's other parts of us. And that, that even that part that does the things that have the awful consequence have really good reasons, have really good self-protective reasons. Sometimes my psychotherapy clients say to me, how can I get more self? Like, I, I, I want more Buddha nature and it, it just doesn't, it's not strong enough. And, um, my experience is that, is that the Buddha doesn't force themselves on us. The Buddha doesn't shove themselves in. The Buddha waits until they're asked. And that we can only ask them by making a little tiny bit of space. And sometimes that's really hard and we might not manage it for a long time. And even in those times, we can remember that the Buddha is there waiting patiently to be invited inside. And sometimes the world helps us with that, with a glint of sunlight on the Buddhas on the mantelpiece, or, uh, a blue heron. Blue heron taking— the Buddha taking on the form of a blue heron. And I, I'm speaking of this this morning partly to hopefully offer something that may help, but also I'm speaking to, to, to those times in all of us when we are overwhelmed in that way, because it's an alone place to be. And even when we're in that place, we're not really alone, and there's no need to be. So we'll now get up and make prostrations to the Buddha. So you can make your own bows if you've got a Buddha in your room, or you can point towards us. We dedicate the merits of this incense offering to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas throughout space and time. May it be as fragrant as earth itself, reflecting our careful efforts, our wholehearted awareness, and the fruits of understanding. Serbi wai ki. May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true life. When I finish doing the incense offering, you can come back to your seats and stand at your seats and bow to each other.

Amitabha.

Slide your seats. So when I was told about transferring merit, It was described to me as the kind of the happy minds that we generate through practice together that we're passing on to someone else who might need it. So all of the peace, all of the wisdom, all of the love that we kind of generate in this room, we make an offering to somebody. And the way that merit works is that if you give it to two people, it's not half each, you get a double at least. So today I'd like to transfer the merit to Kim's husband and Kim, and also to David's dad who's not very well at the moment. And do join in with us. The words are: By your vows and through your grace, a pure Vandal appears.

By your vows and through your grace, a pure Vandal appears.

So we'll recite the closing verse together. May we care for all living things and Mother Robyn Earth. And then just a couple of quick announcements. Angie's having a kirtan here in this room this Sunday at 7:30 till 9, so if you'd like to come and sing with us or just listen, you'd be very welcome. And be on Zoom on the same as the practice link. Yes, it's the same link as today if you'd like to join us. And then next Saturday the 4th is our retreat day. What's the name of it again? Speaking of the mind. Speaking of the mind. So we've got lots of nice things. We've got Shraddha is running a kind of a singing session in the morning with— hopefully he'll bring his tabla and he might bring his cello if we're lucky. We'll be practicing as usual, and then we're going to have a talk from Casper at 3, a walk at 2, circle at 5. It's all on the website, have a look. And some of that will be on Zoom as well. And if you are able to put your name on the little list outside the door to make tea and read Dharma Gums, please please do. And we do have Dharma glimpses, but we are running low. Just a little gentle nudge if anyone's feeling inspired, but no pressure. No, no need to be. Use any of them. We, we haven't used all of yours. Yeah, and the glove one. The glove one. Glove. Oh yes, I can use the glove one. I'm going to print that out. Hi guys, I'm just gonna stop the recording and sort the video out.