Practice - Losing voices and love

Good evening, everybody. Welcome, welcome if you're joining us. On Zoom or in the room. We'll begin with a reading of a Dharma glimpse. Satya Robyn is going to read it, and it was sent in by our Sam, Sam who used to live here. So here's the microphone over to you.

So this is called Losing My Voice, Dharma glimpse by Sam Johnson. Recently my brother got married and I was his best man. It was a wonderful occasion. It also put a strain on my voice and by the end it was gone almost entirely. It's still in recovery as I write. In the past few days I've been repeatedly frustrated at not being able to say the things I want to say. Not big things, just everyday comments and questions. I lost my voice. It occurs to me that this is literally true, but maybe true in another sense too. I think back over recent times and past years to things that I could have said but didn't. Often I didn't speak because of fear. Fear that I would seem ridiculous or otherwise come across in a way I would not want to, and so be rejected. Or fear that I would upset someone and maybe cause an escalation. So I didn't speak. I lost my voice. I suppose it may have started in my childhood when I didn't know how else to keep myself safe than to retreat into silence. The cost of that in the present is often feeling disconnected from those around me. Of course, it's still not always a good idea to blurt the first thing that comes to your head, and there are lots of times when it's appropriate to hold one's tongue, so a balance needs to be struck. Having lost my voice in the literal sense, I know that forcing myself to speak out loud could be harmful, but there are ways around this, such as making gestures or writing things down. So too, in the other sense, it may be unwise to force myself to speak if there are parts of me that do not feel comfortable. But if something feels important, I could also consider saying it in other ways. Namo Amida Butsu.

Now we'll share some meditation practice together. Invitation this evening to notice what you are noticing. So if a thought arises, a feeling, sensation, just saying to yourself, oh, here's a thought about such and such, or here's a feeling about such and such. And then gently inviting that thought or feeling to take a step back, or half a step back, or just lean back a little bit, trusting that Underneath all of these thoughts and feelings, there is a sense of spaciousness. We'll chant together the name Amitabha. Amitabha Buddha, their name means limitless light. And what is the light? Pure wisdom. Pure love. It is nirvana, enlightenment breaking through into our ordinary lives.

Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Ame Saba. Ame Saba. Ame Saba. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Ame Saba. Ame Saba. Ame Saba.

So we'll now recite the refuges and precepts and so on. I'll ask you to repeat after me. These are the things that describe the shape or hint at the shape of a spiritual life. The refuges point to where we can find the eternal in a world that is full of impermanence. The precepts and the three remembrances describing how one naturally behaves when one is full of the light of enlightenment. And the Bodhisattva vows describing how when we are full of that light, naturally we want to find ways of showing other people that they are also held in the light. So please repeat after me. For refuge I go to the Buddha.

For refuge I go to the Buddha.

The one who is awake and full of love.

The one who is awake and full of love.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

All that points to wisdom and compassion.

All that points to wisdom and compassion.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

For refuge I go to the Sangha.

Those who live in the Buddha's light.

Those who live in the Buddha's light.

With faith in the Three Jewels.

With faith in the Three Jewels.

I pray that I may not take life.

I pray that I may not take life—

With faith in the Three Jewels.

—with faith in the Three Jewels.

I pray that I may not steal—

I pray that I may not steal—

—with faith in the Three Jewels. I pray that I may not fall into sexual misconduct. —with faith in the Three Jewels. I pray that I may not fall into wrong speech.

I pray that I may not fall into wrong speech.

With faith in the Three Jewels, with faith in the Three Jewels, I pray that I may avoid intoxication.

I pray that I may avoid intoxication.

No blame, no blame, be kind, be kind, love everything, love everything.

Innumerable sentient beings, We vow to save them all. Inexhaustible are deluded passions.

We vow to transform them all.

Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings.

We vow to master their amour. Infinito. We vow to follow it completely.

Namamitabhu. Thank you. Just— I'll just let that pass overhead. Just before coming into the shrine room, I was reading a little bit of December Fan, a book by Kiyosawa Manshi that we will be studying together towards the end of the year. A December fan is like a Japanese expression That means, well, you can imagine, like a chocolate teapot. Like, what good is a fan in December? And it's how he characterizes himself. And the passage, one of the passages that I was reading, speaks about the experience of everything in the world shining with light. The spiritual experience where everything is sending loving kindness and wisdom towards you. Everything in is illuminated. Not in this theoretical way, but like, oh wow, yeah, everything is really shining with the Dharma. And earlier today I read a quote from Dōgen: Humans are preaching the Dharma to mountains and grasses, and mountains and grasses are preaching the Dharma to humans. And this is happening all the time, whether we're noticing it or not. One of the developments of late-stage Buddhism is this idea or realization that it isn't just human beings that have Buddha nature. It isn't just other living beings that have human nature. The whole world is shot through with it. Sometimes our eyes are blinkered and we stuff things in our ears and hide away inside ourselves. We surround ourselves with attachments or distractions. Because somehow it's hard for us to trust that if we let go of all of that stuff, what we find is this illuminated world that is full of love. And this is how a Buddha experiences the world all the time. The helicopter going overhead is music that is singing the Dharma. The doorbell is the sound of the Buddha speaking. I can tell I'm not enlightened because I found it startling. I don't know if ordinary human minds are built to live in that space all of the time or not. And one of the temptations when we hear that kind of teaching or have a glimpse of that kind of experience is to use it in the service of our self-protection. Oh, I can just stay here. I don't need to look at the world again. I can just stay here receiving the sunlight. And this is the kind of spiritual practice that is, I guess it's like Ralph choosing to sit in the sun. He's really enjoying being in the sun, but he's also becoming a bit more sleepy and sluggish and a little bit less wise and doesn't really know when to come back inside the house again. Ralph's the dog. Just some extra context here. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, I think Jyotirnath said something like that, you know, spiritual— a dog in the sun is happy, and we're not training you to become dogs in the sun. Although happiness is definitely one of the fruits of the spiritual path, but the world isn't only happy. That's my point. One of the things that the light does is it shows up the suffering. It shows up our own attachments, our own greed and ill will. It shows up the places where we don't want to receive love or give love. And when we really allow it to speak to us and let it go through our whole system, actually what happens is it becomes easier to tend to those things when we're not using it for self-protection, when we can allow it to really sink in and meet the places in us that are afraid of being with the suffering of the world. So I suppose this is an invitation to both trust that the world is always illuminated and illuminating us in that way. Enlightenment is always breaking through from its own side. And that, as the Buddha said, suffering is inevitable. To keep an eye on both of these things. And to know that whilst we are moved by that light to compassion and to tend to other beings in a way that will relieve them of suffering, there will also be a limit to what we can do, because we are all December fans some of the time. We're all chocolate teapots sometimes. We have our own limits and fallibilities. And this is how it is to be a human body in samsara. It doesn't mean that we're fake, we're kind of We're still held by the light even as we fail to be perfectly compassionate. And knowing that we are held by the light allows us to be both compassionate and to trust that it is okay to fail, that we are still loved. The mountains and grasses and doorbells and helicopters are still sending the Dharma to us, whatever state we find ourselves in. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. We'll now make prostrations for the main shrine using the mantra Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, another way of calling the name of Amitabha.

Namoh Amida. Namoh Amida.

Namoh Amida Bu. Namoh Amida Bu.

May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true home.

So, if you return to your places. Main shrine. We'll bow to our seats and tidy our seats. Tidy our seats and bow to our seats. So we've got a gardening slot on Saturday.

2 o'clock.

You're very welcome to come and join us and do a bit of trimming or weeding or watering or tidying. We've also got a listening circle in the evening, I believe, at 6 o'clock in this room, if you want to come and connect your heart to other people with a bit of listening and sharing. And the new book groups are going great. Do have a look on the website for more details of when the next ones are coming up.

Beginning of all virtues. And there's two books, there's The Heart of Shin Buddhism and Center Within, which is very easy, Center Within. So if you want an easy book to start on, and that will be happening at the temple and online, two groups.

All right, so we'll finish with the closing verse. Blessed by Amitābha's light, may we care for all living things and the holy earth. Namamītābhu.