Practice - outside changes & inside changes

Welcome to Wednesday evening practice. In this shrine this evening is myself and Satya Robyn, and also from the house, from the temple, we've got Jarmaine Philip-Bryan and and on Zoom at the moment we've got Chris and Becky joining us. Welcome everybody. Hello, mi debu. This evening I wanted to say something about outsides and insides. You might have noticed that me and Caspar are both in black this evening. It's not a coincidence, and it came— it's kind of an experiment, and it came from a conversation about, well, various things, but missing a sort of a uniform for practice, or missing some kind of way of marking the fact that what we do here, the role that we're in here, or the activity that we're performing has a significance. And for my own part, I'm aware that lots of my clothes these days are quite bright. After having worn red for lots of years, I'm going for all the colours. And that I was just noticing that when I watched myself, uh, being on the, on the film, that, that it's a bit distracting, and there's something about black that's just very plain and ordinary and just sinks into the background a bit. And this change on our outsides, whether it stays or not, is a secondary effect of some kinds of shifts on our insides. And I was thinking about my office, which I've had for most of the time we've been here, probably more than 5 years now. A little room— it was a horrible little room when we arrived, it was full of cupboards and mustiness, and I love it now. It's not very big, but it's just the right size for me. And for 4 of those years, I had my desk in a little kind of nook which was off to the side of the window because I didn't want to be looked at. And I was aware that, that whenever people walk into the garden, my window's there, and I didn't want to be looked at. I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want to have to smile and wave at people. I didn't want my clients to be seen when they came for therapy. And then one day I just had this urge to change my furniture around, and I moved my desk from the nook to right in front of the window, and it has completely shifted my experience of that room. It's so nice to sit at my desk and to have the view just in front of me, and I really don't mind when people look in. If I'm available and they do smile, and I might smile back, or I might ignore them, or I might just carry on doing what I'm doing. And again, it was something that shifted inside me that made that possible, rather than doing the room change and then having to work with the whatever came up. And a lot of that was unconscious, just how it's been for me to be in this, this temple environment, being community for years. And I think that's one of the things I like about this form of Buddhism, is that there's a real emphasis on how unconscious a lot of the stuff that goes on inside us is. I think in the West particularly, we like the idea of being able to do things in order to change. If I do this, if I read this book, if I buy this journal, or if I follow these 10 steps, then I'm going to become this kind of person, or I'm going to solve this problem. And those things can help, But in my experience, a lot of the real difficulty in life is much deeper, lodged much deeper than that, around wounding or lots of protection. And just deciding to be different doesn't help. So when we say Nembutsu, We're trusting that we're opening ourselves up to a relationship with Amida that happens mostly beyond our awareness. We might occasionally feel things or think things or see differences, but most of it happens off stage, deep in our unconscious, as little rays of light kind of make their way down there and start caring for whatever they find, and those things that they find start feeling received and uncoiling or uncurling a little bit. And sometimes the first we know about those changes is that something on the outside changes. Maybe we find ourselves drawn to some different clothes, Or we notice that we're sleeping better, or we notice that we've got a different kind of friend to the ones we used to have. And it's nice for me to watch that process in me and to begin to trust it, but there's no rushing it, unfortunately. But we can trust that the Buddha's light is working on us just as fast as it can, and that if we keep turning up, opening ourselves up, putting ourselves into these little spaces, this space here, but just little moments in our day when we remember the Buddha then we keep exposing ourselves to that influence which is doing its thing right in the deep down parts of us. So as we sit silently together today, you might just want to imagine that light As it sinks in and finds its way down and in, and there will be lots of parts of us that shut it off because it's painful to open to love. That's fine, just let those bits do their thing. Maybe just imagine the light— I'm mixing my metaphors now— but if the light were water, it would just be dripping on the protection and just kind of wearing it away very softly and very gradually. Know that that love is available even if you can't quite manage to receive it. Today. Namami Devi.

Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum Hri! Oh mani padme hum hri... oh mani padme hung ri— om mani padme hun greee? Um! Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Humri. Om Mani Padme Humri. Om Mani Padme Humri. Om Mane Padme Humri. Om Mane Padme Humri. Om Mane Padme Humri. Om Mani Padme Humri! Om Mani Padme Humri! Om Mani Padme Hungry! Om Mani Padme Hungry! Om Mane Padme Humri. Om Mane Padme Humri. Om Mane Padme Humri. Om Mani Padme Hum Hri. Om Mani Padme Hum Hri. Om Mani Padme Hum Hri. Om mani padme hum brij. Om mani padme hum brij. Om mani padme om brij. Om mani padme om brij. Om Mane Padme Humri. Om Mane Padme Humri. Om Mane Padme Humri. Om mani padme hum bhrim. Om mani padme hum bhrim. Om mani padme hum bhrim. Om Mani Padme Hum Hri! Om Mane Pame Hungry! Oh manne pame hungreee... Ooh mah ne pa me hunghreee— Ahh ma neh pameh honggreemmm? Om Mani Padme Hum Brih! Om Mani Padme Hum Brih! Om Mani Padme Hum Brih! Om Mane Pah Me Ong Breee... Um— Ma-neh-pa-meh-oong-briih? Oh man-e pa me oom brieemmm?! Om mani padme hum ri om mane pame hun brie— oh! Mani Padme Hum Ri... Oh! Mane Pabe Hung Bri? Oohh! Many Pammy Room Breee?! Ohm ma ne pa me oom briiiimmm. Om mani padme hum hri! Om mani padme hum hri! Om mani pam me om hri! Om mane pa mem hom hri... Om Mani Padme Hum Hri! Oh mani padme hum hri! Om mani padme hum hri! Om manye pa me om hrree— Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum. Om Mani Padme Hum.

For refuge I go to Buddha . For refuge I go to Dharma . Nam-myoho-renge-kyo For refuge I go to Sangha , for safety of mind— nam myōho renge kyō — . For refuge I go to this sangha. For refuge I go to Sangha. Namo sanghaya. With faith in the Three Jewels we pray that we may not take life. We pray that we might not take life. With faith in the Three Jewels—

with faith in the Three Jewels—

we pray that we may not steal. We pray that we may not steal. With faith in the Three Jewels With faith in The Three Jewels— we pray that may not fall into sexual misconduct—we prayer but it might have fallen to sexually misdirected—with Faith In 3 jewels-with Face of It's Rejoice-we Pray That We May Avoid Wrong Speech—that you know what wrongs beeth? With Fate And They Do Us—and Fade Through Tools-We Prayer But You Know What Intoxication—is An Evil Mindset— We pray that we may avoid intoxication.

Innumerable are sentient beings. We vow to save them all. Inexhaustible are rooted passions. We vow to transform them all. Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings. We vow to master them all.

Infinite is the Buddha's way.

We vow to follow it completely. Namo Amitabha! Namo Amitabhu! Namo Amitabhu! Namo Amitabhu! Namu Amida Butsu— namo amido...

So this morning we woke to sad news that Savijja, an Amida Order minister, His sister in India died, probably from coronavirus, last night or recently. And Jyamé went over to India a year ago, a couple of years ago. 2018. Gosh, and met Suvijja then, and Caspar also met him several times. So we will transfer the merit from this evening's practice to Suvijya, may he be in the pure land, and to his family that he leaves behind, his wife and his children.

By your vows and through your grace, a pure land I see.

We will recite the closing verse together. Blessed by Amitābha's light, may we care for all living things and the holy earth. Amen.