Caspar leads a meditation group through a Taoist story about accepting what life brings, then shares how his dog Ruff's injured leg taught him about grief and letting go of expectations. The session includes Buddhist chanting, refuge-taking, and ritual practice with in-room and remote participants.
Chapters
Welcome everybody, this evening in the Choir Room we have Frey, Philipp, Caspar and myself, and on Zoom we have Chris and Becky, and Caspar will be leading practice this evening.
Almost as if you'd practiced. There's an old Taoist story about a Taoist master whose partner dies, and his friend goes to see him in the morning, and he's weeping and wailing. And his friend comes back to check on him in the evening, and he's completely at peace. And his friend asks him, 'Oh, how come you're at peace?' And the Taoist master says something alluding to seasons changing and leaves dropping off trees and the natural way of things. But both parts of this story are important. It isn't just the, um, not just the ending where the Taoist master comes to peace because he realizes that loss is part of the natural cycle. Of being on Earth, but also that he really profoundly feels his grief in the morning. Both parts of this cycle are necessary. It's hard to come to that place of deep peace without having met ourselves in the midst of whatever we are feeling first. And I'm thinking about this because, um, of our— one of our dogs, Ruff, who is more or less fine. But yesterday when we were out on the common training with the dog trainer, ran towards us from the other side of the field with a great big smile on his face and then yelped and sort of stumbled and he, he'd torn the ligaments in the other leg. The same injury that he did 2 or 3 months ago on his left back leg, he'd done on his right back leg. So we took him to the vet and they checked him out, and because his other leg was still weak, building up strength, actually at this point he could hardly walk at all. And yesterday He just spent the day sitting in one spot, not moving. He had an X-ray this morning, and it seems like what they're advising is what they say the conservative route, so lots of bed rest and maybe some special lasers to help the, the healing process. But part of the mix of feelings for me in response to this was a whole mix of things. There was, there was feeling upset for his suffering, and some parts of me anticipating losing him completely. Not immediately, but but just, oh, we're mortal beings, putting me in touch with that anticipation of loss. And some parts of me annoyed about what this would mean for going on holiday next week, and really we were scrabbling around trying to work out how it would be possible to go away and have a dog that has to be on bed rest the whole time. When we're going in a place, taking the dogs to a place where you can't leave them on their own. And it was like, oh, maybe it will just mean staying in the holiday lodge the whole week and not going anywhere. And actually, I don't know whether it was a certain suggestion or it came to us, but some— somewhere out of this conversation, we've ended up ordering a pushchair for the dog. So that we can take him out when we go out with us. And that makes me happy. He'll be happy because he'll get to experience the sights and the smells without stressing his legs. And it's a really good ending, and I'm looking forward to going on holiday again. But I know from, from my past experience of being in this kind of situation Well, I guess two things have changed because we have come up with a solution which is better than just we can't leave the holiday lodge at all the whole week. But in my inner world, allowing myself to notice and giving myself permission to feel each of the different responses that was coming up and validating them, not necessarily acting like choosing to that those feelings compel me to some action in the world, but, oh, this is what's here. Oh, this is what's here. Oh, this is what's in the mix. Grief, anger, resentment, anxiety. Allowing each one to bubble up without overwhelming me and getting too involved in it, but also without pushing it away and denying it. Allowed things to settle, allowed my system to come back to that place of acceptance. A friend of ours, Kusuma, who has sent me a piece of writing about this kind of change of expectations and how you cope with it, and it was used the analogy of you think you're going to Spain on holiday, but suddenly there's a problem with the flight and you land in Holland. And if you spend all your time worrying that you're not in Spain, you never get to appreciate being in Holland, which is true, of course. But the way to not worry about being in Spain is not simply to tell yourself that I shouldn't worry about it. If it's a small amount of worry, that's fine. It's usually to make friends with the worry and go, oh, of course you're here. I had expectations about the kind of holiday I was going to have. Of course I've got feelings that the plane's been directed. I'm a human being, that's normal. Here they are, welcome them to come and sit by the the sort of metaphorical fire of your consciousness and make a cup of tea for them. And as they settle down, you'll find that the space appears where you can enjoy the Netherlands naturally and easily. And we're able to do that because we trust that we're in a field of loving kindness, that there is something there is some fundamental ground in the universe. There is the Buddha that accepts us just as we are, that accepts and loves all of those reactions. And sometimes we're able to support each other in that process. Sometimes we're just stuck in different bits of the process and can't manage it. But always we can trust that beyond our small mind there is something that accepts us just as we are. And this allows us to begin that process of welcoming and making friends with whatever is there. Namaste. So as we go into the meditation practice First, reminding ourselves of the presence of the Buddha, of that fundamental sense of loving kindness, and then simply noticing what's here, what's in your heart, what's in your mind, without getting too involved with it. Without pushing it away.
Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Ami. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Ami. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabha. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh. Amitabh.
I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the Buddha.
Namo Buddhaya.
Namo Buddhaya.
I take refuge in the Dharma.
I take refuge in the Dharma. Namo Dharma Ya.
I take refuge in the Sangha. Namo Sangha. With faith in the Three Jewels, I pray that I may not take life. With faith in the Three Jewels, With faith in Three Jewels I pray that I may not steal. With faith in the Three Jewels I pray that I may not fall into sexual misconduct. With faith in the Three Jewels I pray that I may not fall into wrong speech.
I pray that I may not fall into wrong speech.
With faith in the Three Jewels, with faith in the Three Jewels, I pray that I may avoid intoxication.
I pray that I may avoid intoxication.
Innumerable sentient beings, we vow to save them all.
Inexhaustible are deluded passions.
We vow to transform them all.
Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings.
We vow to master them all. Infinites Buddha's way, we vow to fulfill it completely. Namaste.
Namaste.
Namaste. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste.
Namaste.
Namaste.
In gratitude, we offer this incense to Buddhas and Bodhisattvas throughout space and time. May it be as fragrant as Earth herself, reflecting our careful efforts, our wholehearted awareness, and the fruits of understanding slowly ripening. May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize the pure land. Finished a bit early tonight. Apologies. That's what comes of letting my intuition say when it's time to finish the chanting rather than looking at the clock. So there's a moral to that story, I don't know what it is exactly. Anyway, we'll finish with the closing verse. Blessed by Amitābha's light, may we care for all living things and the holy earth. Namo Amida Butsu. Thank you, everybody.
