Satya Robyn leads a Buddhist practice session on balancing discipline and rest. After completing a year-long vigil, the teacher reflects on accepting unconditional love through Pure Land practice, then guides the group through chanting the Nembutsu, refuge vows, and prostrations.
Chapters
Good morning everyone. Philip's joining us on Zoom this morning and there's half a dozen of us here in the shrine room or more. Hello, Misha.
Good morning, lovely to see you all. I'm slightly damp here because Ralph— we did our morning practice in the garden this morning and Aiko jumped onto Casper's waterproof legs and then Ralph went, "Woo!" And I took pity on him and hoiked him onto my jeans, so they're slightly damp. I thought this morning as we were walking through the snow with Oscar and Angela that, um, I thought about being in the snow during my vigil, which I finished now, but that I did for a year where I sat outside in the middle of town in all weathers. And, um, I had my first pang of missing it which is a bit strange that I was sitting in the snow, but there was actually something quite exciting about going to sit in the snow for an hour. When, in the middle of the winter, last winter when I was doing it, it was the lockdown, so I had to— I wasn't allowed to go outside the temple for more than an hour, so I sat in the car park for just out the front here. And so that's when the snow was the thickest.. And I can remember seeing it really thick on the ground and just feeling like a crazy person and going to kind of wrapping up and getting my special ski mittens on and just watching the flakes come down. It was really quite wonderful. And then I was thinking about how that's the first time I've missed my vigil. It's probably been a month now since I stopped doing it every day. Which led me to thinking about discipline and routine and structure. The day that I finished my year-long vigil was a Sunday, and all week I'd been counting down the days. And then at the moment, I did a kind of a just got so excited by the end that I did a countdown out loud, the last minute or something. And then on the last second, I kind of leapt up from my bench and just danced around in glee. And that happiness, that release, was the parts of me that had been just kind of carrying on during the year, like the weekends when I just really wanted to just stay at home all day and I had to go go out in horrible weather, and the really busy days when I have lots of clients and I had to squeeze in an hour and a half of getting there and back. And I didn't realize how many of those parts of me there were until I got near the end. A bit like sometimes when you're on a long journey and you're nearly home, you just suddenly feel really tired. So it's like those parts have had permission to to express what they're feeling. And I think for me, a lot of life is this sort of balancing between setting up routines and disciplines that really support us in our, in our life, in our spiritual life, in our ethical practice, and tipping over into forcing our systems to do things that they just really don't want to do for longer than is kind, for longer than is possible. And I don't know about you, but for me it's a constant, um, it's a constant checking in and rebalancing that Because partly because I have parts that really push me and are very good at getting things done and starting and finishing projects and doing things that feel meaningful, because that makes me feel better. And those parts often override the ones that just want to lie in bed or play. And partly because, um, life's always changing and we never really know how much energy things are going to take until we do them. And then of course life's throwing things at us on top of the things we have planned all the time. I was joking with a friend recently that my, my current, my current koan, my current kind of challenge is to have enough rest. The plan is to have a bit of a rest until January. And that I've been engaged in that project for about 40 years now. And I think I can see some improvements, but I'm certainly not done with that, with that skill, mastering that skill of allowing myself to rest enough and play enough and Yeah, it's an ongoing practice. And that's true that I can carry on doing things from my end that kind of help or hinder with that project. I can, you know, block in day retreats into my diary, which I've been doing once a month. So I've just got a day with nothing in it. And I can carry on, you know, saying no to new clients and all those things. I can try that from my side. And then I also acknowledge that there's a limit to how much of that is possible just because of how I'm made, the system that I developed in response to my family growing up. Um, so that's where Amida Buddha comes in, because Amida Buddha sees my failed attempts at resting and smiles very fondly at me and maybe brings me a cup of tea.
Oh, there's the—
there's the— that's a— maybe also sometimes needs to fling the door open with some wind.
Maybe that—
maybe the Buddha does that too. Thanks, So, um, because the Buddha understands how hard it is for me to do that, and the Buddha forgives me, and the Buddha sees that I, I'm the one that suffers from that mostly, and that other people suffer too sometimes, and he forgives that too. And that I am acceptable just as I am right now today without any further self-improvement and without any changes. And that's what Pure Land Buddhism is asking us to imagine as possible, that we are acceptable right now, not later. And that's quite a difficult thing for me to really even imagine. And the more I imagine it, the, the, the slightly more possible it seems. And the slightly more of the Buddha's love I can accept inside me. So as we sit together in silence this morning, you might just want to do a kind of listening meditation and, and hear the weather around us. Or you might want to do what I suggested on Wednesday again and just hang out with the Buddha. Just sit with the Buddha. You can use this Buddha or an imaginary Buddha, however big you like, and just let that unconditional love come towards you. It might be hard for some parts of you to accept it. That's fine. They can have a little shield or something. But the bits that are willing to take it in, just allow them to take it in. Namah Amida Butsu. In a minute, we'll do some chanting together, and today we will use the Chinese form. Of the Nembutsu, which is how we call out to Amitabha Buddha. And the words are Namo, I call out to, which is the same as the Sanskrit. And then Amida in Chinese is Omito, and Buddha or Bu is Fo. So the phrase is Namo Omito Fo, and the phrase is repeated twice, and the tune is a little bit difficult. Because it's a Chinese melody, and it's Nam-my-to-oh-fo, Nam-my-to-oh-fo. So you'll pick it up as we go along, and it's also written on your bit of paper if you want to see it written down.
Om for Onamomi Tofu! Namomi Tomi— Om for Onamo Mi Tofo Namomi!
Oh!
Oh! Namo mi to fo namo me. Om Mitoh, Om Phoh, Om Namoh, Om Mitoh, Phoh, Namoh, Mitofo onamo mi tofo. Namoh mi toh, o fo, o namoh mi so fo. Nam-mo mi-to fo fo or nam-mo mi-to fo fo. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. Namoh mi toh. Oh, oh, oh, namoh mi toh.
So these are also on your piece of paper, or you can just repeat after me. For refuge, I go to the Buddha.
For refuge, I go to the Buddha.
Namo Buddhaio.
Namo Buddhae—
for refuge I go to Dharma; for refuge I go to Dharma. Namo Dharmaya—
namo dharmaya—
For Refuge I Go To The Sangha; for refuge I go to sangha. Namoh sangeye—
namoh sangeyae.
With Faith In Three Jewels— we pray that may not take life—
We Pray That May Not Take Life—
With faith in three jewels—
with faith in three jewels—we pray that may not steal, We pray that we may avoid intoxication. No blame.
No blame. Be kind. Be kind. Love everything. Love everything. Innumerable are sentient beings. We vow to save them all.
Inexhaustible are deluded passions. We vow to transform them all.
Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings.
We vow to master them all.
Infinite is the Buddha's way.
We vow to fulfill it completely.
Wanna do prostrations? So do find a bit of floor in front of you. And we'd like to dedicate the merit from today's practice. So dedicating the merit is a way of passing on all the calm and happiness that we generate from practicing together. We transfer the merit to Jhame's sister's brother-in-law John, who died this week.
By your vows and through your grace, A pure and a pure. Then we need to be back to each other.
We're back. Hide our seats and go out to our seats. So some reminders: the golden bowl for donations is in the hallway. Um, do join us for a cup of tea. We're doing Tuesday practice now every week in town if you want to join us for that at midday. Um, there was something else I was going to say.
On the 11th of December, we've got some Bodhi Day events. So there will be a talk, we'll do the normal— it's a Saturday, we'll do practice as normal in here. Then there will be a talk on green awakening after that. And then if you want to make a whole retreat of it, you could join us for the vigil in town. And then in the afternoon, there will be a mindful walk in the woods. Full details on the website, on the hills.
All these details on the hills.
All the white trees on the hills where they made some words. Details. If you can read the trees, the details from the trees.
So we'll finish with the closing verse, which is on a bit of paper. Blessed by Amitābha's light, may we care for all living things and the holy earth. Amen. I was gonna say something, I can't remember what it is.
