Remembering our True Home

Welcome everybody. He comes to see a nice full shrine room on Wednesday night, which Wednesdays have been a bit quieter of late. So we're going to start with a Dharma glimpse by Luna, read by Cat, the last one from The Way of Tenderness.

I always appreciate the invitation to reflect on some questions that some do not until the end of life. Reflecting on Zenju's questions of 'have I loved enough,' the current journey I'm on is how do I nurture myself so that I can love others in the ways that I want to. Even writing this, I am reminded— I remind myself that I am part of that. How do I truly love myself? Yesterday, after a long day, I came home to be told that we were having our community meeting early, giving me about 35 minutes breathing space. I went into total overwhelm, crying in my room for the whole time and physically unable to actually leave my room in order to be there on time. I text them and said that I was too maxed out and couldn't come into connection yet, and did the 5-minute deep relaxation. And when I did join them, I was met with love, acceptance, and a big hug. More tears, but a big nourishing meal, no questions asked. We laughed so much in the meeting. It was truly the medicine that I needed. Even with a part of me that is exhausted from all the growth here, dreaming of living alone where it is quiet, many questions arise. Can I find what I dream of here? What am I believing is not available here? What am I still afraid of being judged for? Can I put my earplugs in and let myself be in silence? Let my monitoring part have a rest from other people's noise. Is living alone really what I need? What story am I holding that says if I need this, I can't ultimately live with people? Where can I love myself more? This experience teaches me not to be rigid in my thoughts of what I need. To let myself show up as I am, to loosen the grip on who I think I need to be and just be me.

Namaste. Thank you very much. We're going to move into a period of meditation, so have a little wiggle and get the body as comfortable as it can be whilst also feeling like you can be alert and possibly stay awake at the same time. We're just beginning by noticing some of the sounds around you. Sounds that are further away. Sounds that are closer. Finding the sound of your own breath. And as we sit here together, you might like to choose to silently Float the Nembutsu on the breath. So, Namu Amida Bu, or Namu Amida Butsu, floating along with the inhale and the exhale at whatever pace, in whatever way works for you. So, so we're going to move into a period of chanting. We're going to chant the Medicine Buddha mantra, which can be found on the little liturgy sheet next to you if you want to see it written down.

It starts, 'Thayatha' Thai atsao bacon jay, bacon jay, maa bacon jay, ratsa samunggati soha. Thai atsao bacon jay, bacon jay, maa bacon jay, ratsa samunggati soha. Thaiyatha roh bacon jay, bacon jay mahabhakun jay rathsa samangate soha! Thaiyatha roh bacon jay, bacon jay mahabhakun jay rathsa samangate soha! Thai Ataro, bacon jay, bacon jay, maha bacon jay, asa samangase soha. Thai Ataro, bacon jay, bacon jay, maha bacon jay, asa samangase soha. Thaiyatha roh bacon jay, bacon jay, maha bacon jay, ratchasamungate soha. Thaiyatha roh bacon jay, bacon jay, maha bacon jay, ratchasamungate soha. Thai, Thai. Om bacon je bacon je maha bacon je, atsa samungate soha. Satya Robyn je bacon je maha bacon je, atsa samungate soha. Satya Robyn je bacon je, Sasana, Kapisa.

So we're now going to recite in call and response the refuges and precepts. Again, if you need to see them written down and are joining us in person, they are written on the Nithyaji, she looks to you. Sorry, Ellen, who's joining us online, but it is a cooler response. For refuge I go to the Buddha. For refuge I go to the Buddha, the one who is awake and full of love.

The one who is awake and full of love.

Namo Buddha.

Namo Buddha.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

For refuge I go to the Dharma.

All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.

All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.

For refuge I go to the Sangha, for refuge I go to the Sangha, those who live in the Buddha's light, those who live in the Buddha's light. Namo Sangha, Namo Sangha. With faith in the Three Jewels, with faith in the Three Jewels, and in light of my human tendencies and in light of my human tendencies I pray that I may become aware—

I pray this I may be aware—

of when I take life.

Of when I take life.

I pray that I may become aware—

I pray that I may become aware—

of when I take what is not freely given.

When I take what is not freely given.

I pray that I may become aware I pray that I may become aware of when I fall into sexual misconduct—of when I fall into sexual misconduct—I pray that I may become aware—I pray this might make you come away—of when I fall into wrong speech—when I fall into wrong speech—I pray that I may become aware—and then it's time to be more aware—of when I've become intoxicated.

Of when I become intoxicated.

No blame. No blame. Be kind. Be kind.

Love everything.

Love everything.

Innumerable are sentient beings. We vow to save them all. Inexhaustible are deluded passions. We vow to transform them all. Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings. We vow to master them all. Infinite is the Buddha's way. We vow to cultivate Ameedaboo.

So today I thought I would talk a bit about home, because it— partly because it feels like the right kind of year to be— right time of year to be reflecting on home. It's winter nesting time. A time when we're, generally speaking, drawn to spend more time inside in the warm and cozy. Time when we rely on the shelter of our homes, our physical homes, more. And there's so many things that can make somewhere a home for us. So what is it that particularly makes you feel at home somewhere? Is it, is it the people, the decor? Is it the friends and beloveds of any other species who you have living with you or around you in your garden, any plants, trees. Is it— maybe you can see the sunset or the sunrise. Or the moon sometimes, the stars sometimes. Maybe you live near water and that's an important thing that helps you to feel more at home somewhere. Maybe you've lived in lots of different places, or maybe you've hardly moved at all and have spent long periods of time where you live. I have lived in lots of different places. I've been here at the temple and in Morven for 3 and something years, which is the longest I've lived anywhere since I was 16, 17. Longest, yeah, longest I've lived in a building. I've spent that kind of period of time in other places but moved around, so I've got very used to carrying a sense of home with me And it often doesn't take a huge amount for me to feel at home somewhere on some level. And at the same time, my sense of home is also quite easily wobbled a bit. Can be wobbled by sensory changes, changes in the environment, the physical environment. They can be wobbled by changes in the energetics or in the dynamics, people who are around me. And so I experienced this interesting contrast between these two things of very easily feeling at home because I've moved, I've had so many different homes and also having that sense wobbled a little, quite relatively easily. And I am fortunate enough to feel at home in my body quite a bit of the time, partly because I do quite a lot of embodiment things to help me with that. So if my external sense of home is a little bit more wobbly, then I can quite often reroute back into my embodied sense of home. And then there is a deeper a deeper home that I can also come into contact with whenever I have a moment of a sense of strong connection to the infinite. To Amida, to the Nembutsu. And that ability to— not ability, that's totally the wrong word— but that sense of true home that can come through when we engage in spiritual practice creative process, or simply that breaks through when we're out doing something else. We may be in nature or talking to somebody, listening to something, and that sense of connection can break through and can bring with it a sense of home. And I feel that that sense of home is our birthright. As humans, and that we've been— people have been tapping into that for, for as long as we've been around. And it has so many different names, this true home, you know, the, you know, the Divine, God, the Friend, many, many, many more names. In the offering verse that we read out here, the last two lines, which I think are by Thich Nhat Hanh, uh, may we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true home. May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true home. And I really like the use of the term forgetfulness there. And how it really expresses that we, we don't have to make anything happen. It's not actually maybe even possible for us to make a sense of connection and true home happen just like that, but it's something that we have within us that we can remember. And maybe we have fleeting moments of remembrance from time to time, and maybe there are times when we're, when we're more in connection with that and times when we're not, but it's always there. And I definitely find that very reassuring. Our true home is always here, just waiting for us to sink in and sit by the fire, get cozy. And that sense of true home is accessible Regardless of how, um, transient or wobbly our sense of physical home might be in that moment. So we may— we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true home. Namami Devi. Moving into prostrations. Lost my thing.

Gratitude, we make this offering to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas throughout space and time. May it be as fragrant as earth itself, reflecting our careful efforts, our wholehearted mindfulness, and the fruits of understanding slowly ripening. May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. That we awaken from forgetfulness and realize our true mind.

And we have announcements from Casper.

Yeah, I just wanted to mention the Living the Dharma study program. As most of you know, a few years ago Satya and I did lay ministry training in Bright Dawn, Reverend Koya's program online, which was 2 years of weekly study groups every Sunday evening. And inspired by that, we set up the book groups here, which follow the same format. And you can drop in and out of the book groups. You can also sign up to do the study program, which you don't have to do continually for 2 years, but we keep track of how many groups you've done. And by the time you've done the equivalent of 2 years, uh, study, you get a certificate. And I've got 2 certificates to give out this evening. So we've now had 3 people complete the program and quite a few other people who are close, so we'll be in touch with you. I've got one to give today. Thank you. Oh, and obviously we have Dave and John, we are running two groups which we've been plugging for ages. There is still time to get on them if you're interested.

But they are filling up.

Yeah, they are now filling up. Just, yeah, couple of spaces left online still.

So please, for the closing, please.

Blessed by Amitabha's light, may we care for all living things on the holy earth.