Satya Robyn leads a guided meditation practice with Alison reflecting on living small versus growing like trees. The session includes chanting, refuge vows, and themes of surrender and faith drawn from Buddhist tradition.
Chapters
Thanks.
Living a small life. Having a voice can seem like something very normal. But actually it isn't for everyone. On returning to England, it struck me that we are expected to have a voice and to share ideas, opinions, thoughts, and feelings. In Asia, this wasn't particularly important unless it was about an action plan that would harmoniously operate together with a group of people. Growing up in England, I I wasn't allowed to have ideas or opinions. I had to remain silent and obedient. In this one single respect, you could say I've lived a small life. Coming to the temple has provided space for thoughts and ideas without judgment. Not knowing what people think about your ideas or thoughts can be rather terrifying if you're not used to it. I realized just how much I've needed to continue my small life in this way. Or when boldly stepping out, how much I've needed approval, especially after so much disapproval. Judgment isn't the way here. It isn't a Buddhist or spiritual practice. It can be frightening to speak out without any reassurance or disapproval. Did people approve or disapprove of what I said? I've no idea, but I'm hoping that somehow my past conditioning will reset at some point and it'll no longer matter. Do people approve? Living with that unanswered question can be painful, but we are no longer children, and even children should be able to express themselves without approval. We shouldn't need validation, yet many of us do. I am not alone here in exclaiming how difficult it can be to not receive judgment, reassurance, disapproval, or praise. And yet I really don't want any of those things. The plants and trees just grow, and we know the expression that the grass grows by itself. Ultimately, to be as a tree, to unfurl our leaves and spread our branches. We can rise up. The trees, unafraid, greet the sun, which I like to think of being as Amida. We can greet Amida's embrace just by being, by growing, by not holding back. We can't allow self-doubts or insecurities stunt our growth anymore. The trees don't. The trees simply grow. They could be said to live a big life. There is only one direction to grow tall, straight, and upright. We can only surrender, let go of fears, and trust this natural process, no matter how painful it can be. Growth usually involves pain, but it just happens naturally if we allow it to. We need to accept that not everyone will like us or celebrate us and just be at peace with it all. The trees just grow tall, and we can take inspiration from them by allowing ourselves to live a big life. The trees don't force or push themselves to grow, and the trees don't hold back their growth. They just grow. This is in a way a test of faith, a letting go, an unfolding, a growing in faith, being unafraid to grow, to be, to exist, and to say, 'I am here.' This unfolding can be an extremely difficult process, and speaking for myself, I am painfully aware how deep I am in the mud, in my karmic nature. In my small life. It can take a very long time to reach up tall, to expand. Despite being in the mud, we might occasionally catch glimpses of the sun's rays when we can feel the warmth seeping through. We can simply trust in the process of our own growth. Namaste.
So having a little shuffle about, making any minor adjustments you need to make as we prepare to move into A bit of meditation, maybe becoming aware of the space around you. Of the body in the space. Just noticing the contact between the body and the floor, the cushion, or the stool. Noticing the contact of the air on the skin. And the wave of the breath.
Mahabhikinje, Vatsasamangatesoha. Tayatha Om Bhikinje Bhikinje. Mahabhikinje, Vatsasamangatesoha. Tayatha Om Bhikinje Bhikinje. Thai Atsahuu Beekin Je— Beekin Je Ma Beekin Je Rasa Samungat Issoha! Thai Atsahuu Beekin Je— Beekin Je Ma Beekin Je Rasa Samungat Issoha! Thai, Thai. Thai, Thai. Thai, Thai, Thai. Thaiyatsaroong bekkun je, bekkun je, ma bekkun je, ratsasamungatse soha. Thaiyatsaroong bekkun je, bekkun je, ma bekkun je, ratsasamungatse soha. Thaiyatsa ho om bikkhen je, bikkhen je, maha bikkhen je, ratsasamangatse soha. Thaiyatsa ho om bikkhen je, bikkhen je, maha bikkhen je, ratsasamangatse soha. Thaiyatha Om Bekken Je, Bekken Je, Maha Bekken Je, Rasa Samangati So. Thaiyatha Om Bekken Je, Bekken Je, Maha Bekken Je, Rasa Samangati So. Tessa.
For refuge I go to the Buddha. The one who is awake and full of love.
The one who is awake and full of love.
Namo Buddha. For refuge I go to the Dharma.
For refuge I go to the Dharma.
All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.
All that guides us to wisdom and compassion.
Namo Dharmaya.
Namo Dharmaya.
For refuge I go to the Sangha.
For refuge I go to the Sangha.
Those who live in the Buddha's light.
Those who live in the Buddha's light.
Namo Sanghaya.
Namo Sanghaya.
With faith in the Three Jewels.
With faith in the Three Jewels.
And awareness of my human tendencies.
And awareness of my human tendencies.
I pray that I may become aware of when I may become aware of when I take life.
Of when I take life.
I pray that I may become aware of when I take what is not freely given.
Of when I take what is not freely given.
I pray that I may become aware— of when I fall into sexual misconduct. I pray that I may become aware— of when I fall into wrong speech.
Of when I fall into wrong speech.
I pray that I may become aware.
I pray that I may become aware of when I become intoxicated. Of when I become intoxicated.
No blame.
No blame.
Be kind.
Be kind.
Love everything. Love everything.
Innumerable are sentient beings.
We vow to save them all.
Inexhaustible are deluded passions.
We vow to transform them all.
Immeasurable are the Dharma teachings.
We vow to master them all.
Infinite is the Buddha's way.
We vow to fulfill it completely.
Amen to be.
So at various points over today, I've thought, oh, What am I gonna talk about? And, um, normally something comes up quite easily and I had various ideas of things that were already bouncing about. I thought, oh, maybe some, maybe inspired by some poetry or some non-dual stuff or various other things that were in my mind and had been in my mind for a while. But I just— none of them felt right. None of them felt right. And I was like, oh, maybe this, maybe that, maybe that. And I was kind of bouncing around, indecisive, unable to settle on anything in particular. And, uh, and then in the end I just gave up. And I gave up and I let go into the possibility of sitting here and having nothing to say, and of what that might bring up for me, of any insecurities or inadequacies or that kind of thing. And what What bounced back, what echoed back to me, was a phrase that's been echoing for a while over the last few weeks, was the phrase truly settled, truly settled, which is something that Shinran says about shinjin, about it being a state of being truly Settled. And I feel like that phrase is just, just really, um, really resonant, really kind of juicy, really distinctive for me. And that's where it's kind of been staying with me for a while. And it evokes a sense of centering and of warmth and of the opposite of, shall I talk about this or shall I talk about that, of that indecision and the ambivalence and that bouncing around between what I wanted and what I didn't want. And the phrase is also for me, it's like inseparable from the line of a Rumi poem. So every time I hear the phrase deeply settled, I also hear this Rumi line as well, which is bird settling nest. Bird settling nest. And there's something of such a profound homecoming in that for me. I don't know what it evokes for you. So I thought, well, that, that little journey that I went through is a perfect little microcosm of a spiritual journey of, of indecision and of moving around between different things. And, you know, pulling things towards me and then pushing other things away from me and of trying to do it by self-power and then of giving up, giving up and being with what that space entailed and, and, and, and brought up for me, and of finding myself at, with this resonance of the kind of the vibrations that the phrase deeply settled brings up. So I thought I would turn into my Telmatok for today. Hmm. May it be fragrant as earth herself, reflecting our careful efforts, our wholehearted awareness, and the fruit of understanding slowly ripening.
May we and all beings be companions of Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.
May we awaken from forgetfulness and realize the truth. Any announcements other than Saturday's plans, which everybody already knows about? Yeah, okay.
Blessed by Amitābha's light.
