Creative on Purpose Live - Dominique Mas

Zipping across the ether. And here we go. Welcome to Creative on Purpose Live, conversations about cultivating greater fulfillment and equanimity in endeavors that make a difference. I'm your host, Scott Perry, author of Onward! and head coach of Akimba Workshops and Chief Difference Maker at Creative on Purpose. Visit creativeonpurpose.com to learn how difference makers like you can solve burnout and overwhelm by making better decisions. Let's meet today's guest, Dominique Maas. Welcome to the broadcast. Please tell our viewers who you are, what you're up to these days and where can they go to learn more about you and the difference you're making?

Hi Scott, well thanks so much. I'm, I'm really excited to be here. Um, so I am a surfer and adventurer. That's what I like to start with always. And, um, what I'm working on these days, so I'm the head of coaching and curriculum at Medli. We're a startup, we do group coaching, um, wonderful, wonderful space. And I also am the founder of Group Coaching HQ, which is a training program, ICF accredited, for coaches who want to master the art of group coaching. And that is where people can find me. It's groupcoachinghq.com. I'll pause here. I'm sure people will get to know me through our conversation. Yeah.

Well, so I just, I always love to give a little context to our viewers. You know, everybody that's tuning in probably has an idea of who I am and what I'm up to, but, uh, I— you and I connected through the Rich Litvin Intensive. I think that was back in February of this year, um, and that was a great experience. And we of course had the coolest cohort of all, the Effing Effers. And, um, one of the things that, that I'm interested in starting the conversation with is around the idea of coaching. Because what I notice as someone that's really leveraging LinkedIn as a place to connect with more of the right people is that you can't swing a stick without hitting a dozen coaches in any thread that you happen to be commenting on or creating.

What—

give us a sense of, like, what's your take on, you know, what is coaching? Why does it matter? Why should people like us have a coach?

I think the main thing for me that pertains to coaching is thought partnership. I think that it's really hard for every single one of us to do what we need to do by ourselves, and having whether it's someone, whether it's one coach, or whether it's a group. I am passionate about group coaching, or whether it's a group of peers with a coach to help us gain perspective, to help us see things in a different way, to help us realize that, hey, actually the way, the lens that you've been using to look at the situation you're facing is not the only lens, and perhaps we can broaden your mind a little bit here and help you do things differently. So I think a lot of people tend to equate coaching with trying to fix solutions, trying to find solutions, trying to fix problems. I really view coaching as an enrichment, as a way to propel people's growth, as a way to help them, help them be behind— I don't want to say a different person, but help them be aware of how they're looking at things so that they can have different perspectives and perhaps act differently if needed in that way. So it's a way to really push people. I think many people use the word maximizing potential, and I think that's a really good way of putting it. So So for me, it's not fixing. It's really about how do we help you think even better? How do we help you think in a way that will allow you to create with more perspective? I'll pause here because I get really excited about it.

Yeah, no, that's really wonderful. At Creative on Purpose, we talk oftentimes about dualities and the idea of toggling back and forth between ways of thinking, ways of being. And one of, one of those is sufficiency and striving. I mean, everyone tuning in, each one of us, we're, we're fine just the way we are. I mean, if you are tuning into this broadcast, you're probably doing okay. And if you want to continue to do what you're doing, uh, absolutely wonderful. There's— you are sufficient just as you are. There are some people that, um, you know, even though the status quo might be okay for now, can't resist pushing to the edges of their understanding and abilities and trying to step into their potential. And it turns out, in my experience, that no matter how much potential you develop, there's potential in abundance to step into. And coaching is an efficient means for you to get out of your own way and get going in The Difference Only You Can Make. It's as— and I speak from personal experience as someone that tried to DIY it for a lot of my adulthood. It wasn't until I got myself a good coach that I was able to really expedite my pursuit in leveling up in The Difference Only I Could Make. So I love what you were saying about potentiality. I think that's a huge part of it. And obviously, You are now invested in group coaching. And so I would like for you to amplify, if you don't mind, like what are the distinctions or differences in group coaching versus one-on-one coaching and what are the benefits as you see them of going the group coaching route?

Yeah, so many. But I, before I go there, I really want to highlight the distinction that you made when you said I found myself a good coach. And I think, I mean, good obviously can be perceived in so many different ways and defined in so many different ways. But I think what you said to me resonated so much because finding the right person who is going to be that partner is absolutely key. And when there are, you know, dozens and dozens of coaches just on one, you know, one little thread, it can be really hard. So I I really like that distinction that you made of finding the right person for me is really important. Going to group coaching, I think what I am so passionate about is this idea of bringing people together who are working towards a similar goal. Usually they have some sort of shared context. And I think the beauty of it is that where on one-on-one coaching you have one person, you have your coach who's, who's pushing you, who's helping you to think, in group coaching you suddenly have 5, 6, 7, 8 people who are there listening to you and gaining from your perspective, uh, insights for themselves. And obviously vice versa. And I think what we encourage our coaches to do both at MADiG and at Group Coaching HQ is to let the group lead themselves in a way. So it's really to help the group understand, well, how do you, how do you adopt a coaching mindset where you come at something with curiosity and you're not trying to tell people what to do, but rather you're trying to understand and help them understand themselves. And what happens often in group coaching is that because people have that shared context, they're working on a similar situation. When they ask someone else a question, it's a way for them to ask about themselves in, in, with perspective, without them being the center of the conversation. And that's That's an incredible experience to have that moment of, I can ask you the questions that I want to ask myself. Um, it just gives so much insight and everybody benefits. So I think, I think with group coaching, uh, you get community, you get even more accountability, but also you just simply get just so much more perspective. So I think it's, um, I, I don't believe that one is better than the other. In fact, I think that they work really well in combination. Um, and I, and I think for certain people it's just so great to have the support of a whole group, and for certain people need that one-on-one, like, let me have my own person pushing me. So I think it really depends. Um, But, but for me, the, the, that's the beauty of group coaching is really having a coach who is comfortable enough in themselves that they'll take, they'll take a step back and hold the container for the conversation while letting the group actually lead and guide the conversation. Yeah.

Uh, I want to highlight what you said about how they can work really well together, one-on-one coaching and group coaching for people that follow Creative on Purpose, you all know that we are getting ready to, we are enrolling right now and getting ready to get started with the Do the Work Intensive, which leverages one-on-one coaching and group coaching in a kind of a 4-week sprint format. So, and, and I agree with everything that you said about the power of adding the group element in that. The other is that What I have found in doing this intensive multiple times is that when you create this brave and safe place, um, that has more than one other person in it, it helps people not only gain traction, but also momentum in standing up to be seen, speaking up to be heard, again, exploring the edges of their understanding and ability so that when so that they can then take that learning and that new posture out into the world. And they, you know, so it helps to have a place where you can safely try on this way of being, try on this posture, this approach to, you know, whatever it is that you're, you're building. And do that with and for people that understand the journey, that understand the challenges. And to what you were saying, also share additional perspectives that you as a one-on-one coach may not, you know, we can't all see everything. The other thing that you said earlier that, um, you, you repeated is the distinction between one of the, I think one of the distinctions between good coaching and bad coaching is good coaches don't see themselves as, um, instructors, as advisors, as fixers. They, you know, the best coaching I've ever received has come from people that just basically apply the Socratic method and have a gift for asking more beautiful questions that help me see, step into, stay in, and share my power. And, you know, help me invest in my agency and embrace my agency to engage with my life and my development of my potential. And delivering on my promise. So I really love that. I always, especially with coaches, and you and several other people from the intensive have been on the show. And I love this question, and would love to learn more about your origin story. So how did Dominique Miles become a coach? What was the, what was the spark? What was the back— what's the backstory? Why did you decide to to lean into this way of being?

Yeah, so first I'm going to move because that ray of sunshine is driving me crazy. So let me re—

I thought that was your radiance starting to come shining.

Well, it was, but I don't want to, you know, shine too much on this show. Um, I— so my origin story, I originally, I grew up in France, and it's important because I've moved many, many places. So I grew up in France. I moved to London when I was 18, became a teacher in London, then became— then decided to move, taught in Barcelona and moved again and taught in the Philippines. And then in— I lived in Bali for a year and then moved to Hong Kong in an international school and finally ended up in New York in an international school. So my career really was in education and educational leadership. When I decided in 2017 to leave my, my job at the school where I was, I had no idea what I was going to do. And I decided I was going to take a little bit of time. I'd saved a lot of money, so I had financial stability, at least for a little while, take some time to, to just explore before I defined what was next for me. And coaching came up very quickly. I had done some work on coaching through my, my master's in educational leadership, really loved it. And it kept reappearing in my life. And I did the training, loved it, and decided, okay, this is exactly what I want to do. I need to be a coach. But actually, Scott Perry, today, what's interesting to me is that I don't, I think coaching and becoming a coach was a tool to propel me to do what I'm doing today, which is continuing to build teams, continuing to grow projects. And so whether it's at Medli, where I'm building the team of coaches and nurturing them and doing a lot of professional development for them, or building the curriculum, or with Group Coaching HQ, where I'm actually training coaches. I realized that the educator in me is like coming back really, really quickly. And so I'm actually doing less coaching per se, but I am working in the coaching world and, and really getting to put together all the things that I love: coaching, teaching, education, training. So I, I think that's It's interesting to highlight because often when people are wondering what's next, we often think, oh well, there is a destination. But actually, I thought coaching was a destination, but it wasn't. It was a tool to get to where I am today. And who knows what this will lead to, right? So I think that it's always really important to keep that distinction in mind of where I still don't know where I'm going, and we don't know what tools are going to be introduced in our lives. So the origin story definitely has a start, but who knows? Who knows where it's all going?

Yeah, well, what's interesting to me is how you said, well, I'm not really doing that much coaching now, but I think I'd reflect that, you know, most of us are, we're all coaches. I mean, and because coaching is, again, it's not a destination, as you said, it's a way of being. And ways of being are more about process and approach than it is even about systems and checklists and linear maps from that help you get from point A to point B. It's, you know, one of the things I'm quite sure you do in both, at both Medley and Group Coaching HQ is holding space for people to lean in and solve interesting problems and build, you know, collaborative environments and, and, and make them enhance their own lives while they elevate the lives of members of their team and the people, you know, that they do their work with and for. So I think it's, that, that was a powerful thing for me when I, I resisted becoming, announcing to the world that I was a coach for a very long time. And when I finally decided that this is what I was going to do, I, of course, then discovered that it was what I was always meant to do. But Actually, when I look back, it, it was always, always what I had done. Um, even when I was a teacher, I was actually more of a coach. And as a guitar studio owner, um, I was much more of a guide than I was a teacher or instructor in the, in the traditional sense. Um, and even as a musician, uh, you know, performing on the stage and putting bands together, holding bands together, um, interacting with venue owners, it felt, feels very coachy as I look back on it.

I so appreciate you sharing this because I think it all goes down, it all boils down to how we be in the world, right? How do we show up? Who are we in the world? And I think that sense of what makes a great coach, you said earlier, was someone who asks a lot of questions and I think that's it, is that curiosity. It's bringing that to everything we do. And as a leader today, both at Group Coaching HQ and at Medli, I think a lot of my work is absolutely based on coaching. And it's never telling people what to do. It's always coming up with the— hopefully is the right question that is going to help people. So I really appreciate you sharing that because it is, it's just a way of being rather than a job title.

Well, one of the things that I, that, that I found is because there was, up until last, the end of last year, I was doing a lot of different things in my day-to-day. So I was, you know, a husband and a father here at home, and then I was a guitar teacher at my studio, and then I was a head coach in Akimbo Workshops, and then I had my own coaching practice. And it felt a lot of the time like I was just like changing hats and switching gears all the time. And one day I just kind of woke up and thought, okay, well, what if you just showed up as Scott Perry all day long? Like, what if you were just one person that happened to do a bunch of different things, but it didn't really require any posture or mind shift, shift posture or mindset shifts. And that instantly cleared all the clutter, quieted all the— yeah, and I felt— and it just made— allowed me to move seamlessly through my day and through all my interactions, relationships, and engagements in a way that felt very congruent and true, you know, internally, but also helped. I mean, it it was helping everyone I was interacting with because they could just, they could see it was just me.

Yeah.

And knew what to expect.

Yeah, I hear so much of the concept of identity in what you share and how so often we feel that we have to be different people, right, according to the situation that we're in, the context the whatever it is that we're doing in that moment. And, uh, and I think I, I understand what you're sharing because I think I sensed, I felt a, a feeling of relief when I decided, you know what, I don't need the labels. I don't need to be this person, that person. It's, this is, this is who I am. This is my identity. And it goes back to what we were sharing earlier about Who am I? And I am this person. And whether I'm in my coaching role, whether I'm in my leader role, whether I'm in my teaching role, my partner at home, this is who I am. And I think it can be so easy. I see that especially with— I train a lot of coaches. And so I see that in a lot of the younger coaches. There is that sense that they're not ready to step into the coach identity, if you like. They're not— you mentioned you were reluctant to call yourself a coach for a long time. I think a lot of people are, perhaps not for the same reason, but I think it's that concept of identity that we feel we have to be something, But actually we have to be someone and we have to be one person. Yeah. So it's, yeah.

Yeah, no, I think that's really profound. Human beings are, I mean, all living things work. We transfer energy. You know, if you're a plant, you take nutrients from the soil and water and sun and you grow limbs and flowers and fruit. Um, but human beings are unique in that as we're living things that possess consciousness and build identity and forge meaning in our lives through the work that we do. But what you're saying, I think, is absolutely true. You are not merely what you do. You are who you are, and who you are is reflected through how you do what you do. And so, yeah. I love the idea of, you know, I think what we're sharing here is this idea of knowing who you are, what your values are, what your purposes, you know, what your intentions are, and then engaging in the work with integrity. And it's simply then a reflection, not just of who you are, but who you're becoming. Because to your point, you know, we're all in this process of becoming. And so I love that. I want to— we've covered a lot of ground already, and we're already nearing the end of our half hour together. There's two last questions that I'd like to ask. One is, people like you and I who are exploring the edges of our understanding and ability quite frequently are trying, are doing things that might not work much of the time. And when you do a lot of a lot of things that might not work. Some of them don't work. And sometimes it looks like a failure. And sometimes it feels like a mistake. And sometimes it's just a really painful learning opportunity. But I'm wondering, however you want to frame that, you know, is there a moment recently or in the past where you experienced what might have felt like a failure or mistake or misfortune at the moment, but turned out to be an actual opportunity in disguise or provided you with a really profound learning that you were able to carry into the work that you, you know, into, into your next steps in, in your endeavor?

Yeah, I think those moments happen ever so regularly, right? I think those moments happen so often. The last one was definitely with Group Coaching HQ where we had planned on starting a next cohort. And as we were saying before we got on the show, life happened. And I felt that I was— not only that it was a failure, it— I didn't think it was a failure, but I felt that I was failing people. And I felt that I could have done more to make it work, and I could way Z. And because of what had happened in my personal life, I had to reframe very, very quickly. And I think having a wonderful partner in, in, in Group Coaching HQ, um, was so helpful because with her we were able to say, you know what, this is not a failure. This is fine. We just, we did this. We're just going to move the date and we'll do XYZ and that's that. And I think with, as you said, people like us who try so many things, there are so many times where things haven't worked out. And I think I've learned to just be able to let go really, really quickly. So I might get annoyed on the time when it happens, or I might get upset with myself, but I'm able to let it go very, very quickly. It does not last more than 12 hours. And then I'm like, okay, next, let's keep moving.

I love that. Yeah, I think there's— it's, it's, it takes some of us longer to learn than others. But it took me certainly a long time to learn that decisions and outcomes are two different things. And that decisions just put you in the next opportunity to make another decision. The outcomes will take care of themselves. The— your job is to put forth your best effort. And if you do that with intention and integrity and all your decision-making and next steps, the outcomes kind of take care of themselves in the long run. So last question. You've already shared a ton of insight and inspiration for people that, like you, are already engaged in making a bigger difference. We also have people that aspire to identify and develop and deliver the difference only they can make. If you could just share one final tip for those that are tuning in that want to either begin or level up in the difference only they can make, what would that be?

I think my, my one tip is find community. You don't— you do not have to do things alone. I think a lot of people who try to, uh, who move into creating something new suddenly think that— I, I don't know why. I think mainly because they're high performers, high achievers who are used to doing things by themselves. Um, finding community, participating in a workshop like your workshop that's coming out, participating in a community like Group Coaching HQ or, or Medli even. Find the space where others are working on their own endeavors so that you can discuss, you can have mentors, you can have people who are going through the same thing and share your experiences. That's my one tip. Find community. You do not have to do things alone.

Yeah, not only do you not have to, you really probably shouldn't.

Exactly, exactly.

That is great advice, and, uh, appreciate that tip. And want to thank everyone for tuning in. Dominique and I really appreciate you lending us some of your valuable time and attention, and we hope that today's broadcast motivates you to lean into an endeavor that matters with a little bit more curiosity and courage. You can learn more about Dominique and the difference that she's making at groupcoachinghq.com. And of course, it's always fantastic to see you at creativeonpurpose.com as well. Now, take the insight and inspiration from this conversation so that to inspire you to fly a little bit higher in the difference only you can make. Dominique Maas, thanks so much for sharing your time and wisdom with us today.

Thank you so much, Scott.