The Art of Encore Living - Melissa St. Clair

Welcome to The Art of Encore Living presented by Creative Our Purpose. The show is for encorepreneurs, people in midlife building a part-time online lifestyle business that makes a difference while they make a living. I'm your host, Scott Perry, Encore Life Coach, helping people in midlife define the difference only they can make and turning it into a fulfilling part-time coaching business that funds their retirement. Visit creativeourpurpose.com and get started with our free resources. Don't die with the difference only you can make. So it's time to live your legacy. Let's meet today's guest. Melissa St. Clair, delighted to have you on the broadcast. Please introduce yourself, tell our viewers who you are, where, uh, what you're up to, and where you can be found online to learn more about the difference that you make.

Awesome, thank you, Scott. I am so pleased to be here today. Um, Melissa St. Clair, I am a communications and standard operating procedure specialist with Paper Chaser Biz LLC. And that is a Certified Military Spouse-Owned Enterprise. And what does all that mean? I'm a virtual assistant by trade, providing online office support to amazing solopreneurs.

Melissa, I would love for you to just start with a little bit of your backstory. I know that the Paper Chaser business is just really a part of the difference that you're making out in the world. I'd love to hear a little more expanded version of what that is, but also just tell us a little bit about your journey, how you got from where you were to where you are now. I'm imagining that little 9-year-old Melissa did not wake up and say, you know what I want to be when I grow up? I want to be a virtual assistant. I'm going to start my own business. And give us a little sense of the backstory and the origin of how you came to be doing what you're doing.

Well, I love that you kind of led with that because actually in 5th grade I kind of did know. When we did career exploration, I wanted to be a secretary because my mother was an HR professional and worked in an office. And I thought, oh, that's what I would like to do. So I made this whole beautiful trifold brochure back in the day about secretary and what all that entails. And little did I know, you know, fast forwarding, that I am a virtual version of that. So, but in between there, I have a background of business management, executive office. So then working at the local chamber early on as a military spouse, I was so inspired by the entrepreneurs there and knew I would be moving eventually. So I wanted to thrive professionally alongside my active duty service member and Thanks be to God, somehow the virtual assistant industry came across my radar. So I thought, hmm, I could do that. So I combined that business background and executive office with the technology that was available, okay, back in 2006, and just leapt into the virtual assistant world and I'm so I'm so glad I did. It has been an incredible portable career for me as I moved around from duty station to duty station with my US Marine. So, and totally changed my paradigm about what PCS, permanent change of station, or moving meant for me personally and professionally. With each move, I was able to build my network meeting new professionals at each station. So it's really been a win-win-win, uh, as a, as a career choice.

Well, what's interesting about the fact that you actually did have felt that there was a call very early on in your life to be doing something very similar, um, is really interesting to me because one of the exercises that we take people through with the art of Encore Living is, you know, a lot, a lot of times our calling, the work that we're meant to do at any point in life, is tied to the things that we love to do, were immersed in, felt called to as children. So I love that you can find that connection, that thread that kind of weaves through the tapestry of your life that really does start from a very early age. So that's That's a really interesting insight. I appreciate you sharing that. And Melissa and I, I can't remember, I think we were introduced to each other through Kelly Artist. Is that right? Or was it Elizabeth Bordeman?

Elizabeth. Yes.

Yes. My beginnings as a public speaker and a coach were in speaking to military spouse groups, and that's how Melissa and I got connected. So just wanted to share appreciation for the work that you do as someone that is supporting someone that is serving our country and keeping us protected. It's, it's meaningful and important work, and you do it with such grace and with such dignity. And I'm going to use that as a reason to kind of shift a little bit into some of the other things I see you doing online, which speak very much to the creative in the brand Creative On Purpose. And I wonder if you wouldn't mind talking a little bit about some of the other things that you're doing outside of your work as a virtual assistant.

Sure. So, and I guess this track, new track, new path for me also had origins in my early days because as a young girl, I was an only child, so I turned to poetry to kind of process those things that you can't talk to anybody about, questions and ponderings. And I think my mother might still have like that orange-bound notebook of words that I wrote, but I don't know, I'll have to ask her. But that was dormant. Then fast forward to George Floyd and social injustices that were happening that were before our eyes repeatedly on video, on the news. And so I was compelled to do something. So I was introduced to a conflict resolution strategist who was offering a course for white people to take a journey on the matter of race. And through that, to again process those thoughts and questions, somehow I could not sit down and write sentences and paragraphs. The answer started flowing in form of poetry. So that's something totally new from 2020 to today. But it has been very powerful and has put me on a new path, an additional path.

So what I love about witnessing that part of you online and hearing some of your videos at spoken word events and so forth, and just how inspiring it is to see you heed a call around a moment in our time. This idea of living a purpose-driven life, life, doing purpose-driven work, it's not always just about what we do to make a living, make ends meet, take care of our responsibilities. It's not monolithic or something that happens in the silo. We are many splendored beings and have a variety of facets and interests, and I just I just want to applaud the way that you are exploring all of these things. And you, again, really masterfully are doing kind of— it seems like you're doing all these things at once just by what I see online. And that speaks to an idea that we talked about that I'd love your perspective on, which is, you know, we live in a world where we're encouraged to seek work-life balance. Personally, I've always found that to be just an invitation to shame and suffering. Because I don't know about you, Melissa, you're, you're much more talented than I am. Maybe you found it, but I've never found it. I've never found that perfect balance of this is my personal life, this is my business life, this is my musician life, this is my grandfather life, and so forth. But what I have found is that being integrated and just showing up fully and wholly as who I am, as I am striving to be more and do better with and for people I care about everywhere I go, in whatever role I happen to be playing in the moment, whatever identity people see me in at any moment, allows me to maintain my sanity but also eliminates a lot of the cognitive dissonance that might keep me from doing my best work. And I just, I see that, you know, and maybe I'm projecting here, so I'd love to get your insight, but I just see that in the way that you're showing up in all these things that you do. I never get the sense that you put on a different hat to speak in this role or that role, or that you're speaking in a different language or a different voice. So I just would love to get your take on how do you show up so consistently and so authentically in all the things that you're doing through the course of your day-to-day and your week-to-week?

Oh, thank you for that. Thanks. Good question. So lots of inner work, lots of inner work, and lots of great people along my path to help me move along in this life, because you're, you're not doing life on your own. And just really leaning in to resources and your network, um, because every day is different and that makes life interesting. Uh, so, you know, somebody has asked me, you know, well, how do you do all that? Well, I have goals for myself and, you know, my family has goals and purpose. And I love that a couple weeks ago I was at one of the My Conversations where you you pick up a little card and you read the question and then you respond. And one of the responders said about gifts and talents, you know, God gives us these gifts and talents so that we can give them away. And I just really love that. And it just, you know, went right straight to my heart center because I, I wholeheartedly believe that, that we are here to thrive and care for others. So that I lean into that, infuse that in everything that I do.

So I really appreciate that, Melissa. It speaks really— you highlighted something that's also really important to work that we do at The Art of Encore Living, which is reconnecting with, or maybe perhaps discovering for the first time, what is that unique gift that you possess? What's that hidden talent that you've not tapped into because no one at school encouraged you to explore your uniqueness, your gifts. No one on the job said, hey, what makes you uniquely you and how can you make the difference only you can make here in this organization? So I would just love to pull that thread out a little bit more and just, it sounds to me, I'm reflecting back, improperly, I want you to let me know. But it sounds like what I'm hearing is that you feel that part of your unique gift, your talent, the difference you make, is this idea of service, of enhancing the lives of others by sharing your gifts— creative, collaborative, communicative, and otherwise.

Absolutely. And you, you know, really struck a chord with that encouragement because The poetry during the course was literally my homework. It was personal work. And so I shared it with a very close friend, and she said, "Oh, you need to do something with this." And so, of course, I've shared it with my husband, and within 2 weeks of Patti saying, "You should do something with this," he said, "You know, you really should do something with this." And just that little spark in the period of 2 weeks, I was open and I listened and I thought, what can I do? How can I share this journey? So right away, yeah, went to figuring it out.

I think probably, you know, just because of your association with military life, you're quite used to figuring things out and embracing uncertainty and adversity and finding silver linings and hidden possibilities and things that might seem hard in the moment. So I love all of that, and you just highlighted something else that I think is worth amplifying, and that is being open, being present and open to the possibilities that are just within the moment you're in. You know, you did that, you know, George— the events around George Floyd's murder, uh, oh, you know, revealed things to us that had been in front of us for centuries, um, that, you know, some of us maybe thought had been resolved through legislation, but have clearly not. And, you know, it's one thing to be woken up, to become aware, and even to acknowledge things as they are. And it's quite another to decide that you're going to do what you can do, that you're going to take some sort of action. And, you know, in your case, to take a stand. And just that speaks to me of this idea of courage, which is a theme that's coming up in a program I'm going to be a panelist on for, uh, uh, um, Passifloration, which is a group of women Stoics that are hosting an event about courage. So I'd love to get your take, because, you know, as part of my homework for presenting at that event, how do you think about courage and how do you cultivate it and how do you act upon it in the work that you do, the creative work that you do, and in the part that you're playing in the fight for social justice?

Oh, that is a big question. I don't know if I consider myself as courageous, but I have heard that word to describe me. I really draw on the energy and the positivity and the encouragement of my network. To just go out there and, you know, what's the worst that can happen? So, and along that, you know, having a divine purpose because it is something that is heart and mind and right in front of me that I have to address. And in doing so, I called on my virtual assistant abilities to self-publish a book so I could save money so that I could give proceeds away to another cause to install the Harriet Tubman Monument in Beaufort, South Carolina. So it just continues to be a ripple effect. And just the people that have come again, I'm calling on them along my path through this journey. It's been incredible and it's nothing that I have planned. So just continuing to be open and be willing to keep moving forward, whatever that looks like.

Yeah, well, I love that. It's interesting that you mentioned Harriet Tubman, a woman that, uh, to whom, after she got herself to, you know, moved herself into freedom, um, was called upon by God to go back. And of course, you know, her initial response was, what the heck are you talking about? Could not ignore her purpose, her calling, the vocation she was called to. And I love that you kind of wove in that idea of calling and purpose, and listeners can define that any way that speaks to them. It's something that we talked about at Greater Bonneville, in the other Bonneville Limit as well, is you have to surrender yourself yourself to whatever higher power purpose is speaking to you, because it wants to speak through you in this, uh, you know, in this work, especially the second half of life, which is more about surrender and sacrifice and service than the selfish pursuit of status and stuff that we're so often involved in, uh, the culture to do in the first half. You also mentioned, Scott, fellow travelers, depending on your network, support group. It's so important. None of us accomplish anything but wholly by ourselves. Making a difference is fraught work, and it's made easier by doing it with and for people you care about. And just to reflect, you know, back to the courage question, Melissa, I think that's a humongous part of it. Courage is not armoring up and going into battle and sacrifice your life. It's, you know, it's doing the thing that you know you need to do even when you don't feel like doing it or even when you're not sure how you're going to do it. And so I You know, again, love to hear your take on that and the way that you show up and do that. Along the lines of, you know, community and surrounding you, it sounds like you have a really strong network. And, you know, so I see the pictures of you and your husband online, so I know that he is, you know, at the heart of that inner circle. But Just a second-to-last question here. How do you think about who you let in and who you keep out in terms of just being intentional and having integrity about the people that you're surrounding yourself with and working with so that you can make the difference that you're meant to make with the people that you serve?

I think nothing is by chance. Right? So people— what is that saying? People are in your life for a reason, a season, or something. There's like 3 parts to that, I forget. Um, but I— and I'm going to go back to the military community because that is such a small community and a close-knit community. And no matter where you are you seemingly always have a point of contact to reach out to, and especially now that online is so easy to help people stay connected for that support or that encouragement or resource share. And it's, you know, it's both ways. I am a click or call away for anybody, you know, that needs, thinks that I can help them with something. But I think just building those solid relationships and really continuing to nurture them along the way.

So one of the things that I remember my friend Kelly telling me, you know, she's a mom of now two teenagers, but I've known her since her kids were much younger. And you mentioned, um, I'm sorry, give me the acronym again for moving around.

Oh, PCS, Permanent Change of Station. Yes.

So this is something that happens every frequently, like every other year it can happen. Yes. Um, things I remember Kelly telling me is, you know, when you're, when you're a military spouse and a mom, you figure out really quickly who you can trust and who you don't, you know, who can take the kids for a minute while you run an errand or, you know, who you call when bad news comes or when things are difficult and trying. And so it's part of what I'm hearing in your responses It just seems like that kind of life encourages you to tap into your inner wisdom and your instincts and intuition much more than those of us that are not in the military, you know, experiencing the rigor of military life are, you know, we tend to ignore our instincts and intuition much of the time. I don't know if you have any reflections on that.

No, I agree, because we are in, in the moment so many times, so frequently, for just a little while. So you have to take action, you have to dig in, because then you're on to the next duty station. So if you want to get involved in the community, you have to make that, you know, to-do list and start checking it off because then you're going to be moving on. You can always go back, but you're always, you know, on the move. So yeah, definitely it has made me more organized, definitely a planner. So you can draw a lot of things from that experience, definitely.

All right. I said second to last question, but I do have another second-to-last question. I don't know if that's possible, but anyway, I've been meaning to ask you this forever, and you and I have been in communication many times, and I can't believe I've not asked you this before, but, you know, I see the honeycomb behind you, I see the bee, uh, you know, weaving into your branding, and, uh, just to satisfy my own curiosity, I'm just curious about why the association and maybe how the association with bees came to be a part of your brand?

Oh my goodness, and it's so great that you asked that question today because today actually starts my birthday month. So kind of a throwback, Paper Chaser. And originally I thought I was going to be in a more consulting role, you know, assisting people how to, but I quickly found people needed help with doing the thing. So they really needed a worker bee. So that became the logo, the bee, the busy bee, the worker bee. And coincidentally, ironically, I found out later that Melissa in Greek means honeybee. So I can truly embody the brand. So that is really the story of behind the bee.

I love that. I love that. I can't remember the exact quote, but there's a quote from Marcus Aurelius about bees and hives, something along the lines of, you know, what is not good for the bee is not good for the hive type of thing.

Oh, ah, yeah, I'll have to look that up. Yes.

Um, I, I'll find it and try to drop it in the, in the comments below, um, the replay here.

That would be awesome.

We're coming to the end of our time, uh, together, Melissa, but there's always the final question and the one that I would love to share with, um, my community through the blog and through the email, but also in other places is you've already shared a lot of wisdom about how someone can step into and live into their purpose and live a more fulfilled and prosperous life doing work that they're meant to do with what people care about. But if there's just one last— could be a maxim you live by, a quote, just a piece of advice or something along those lines that will help someone that's tuning in see and step into their power to live into their potential. Potential doing work that matters in alignment with their purpose? What would that— what would you tell them?

Oh my goodness, so many good things are like zooming around in my brain right now, but I am going to draw on the verse that says to the effect of, you know, walk humbly, love mercy, do justice. So that That kind of sums it up, I think, for me, and to share that ripple effect.

I love that. Very clear, very direct, and absolutely on point. Well, we want to thank everyone for tuning in. Melissa and I really appreciate you lending us your valuable time and attention. We hope that today's broadcast and discussion helps you take a bolder step at the possibility of living your legacy. To learn more about Melissa, down below at PaperChaserBiz— oops, I'm sorry, I got the wrong one— paperchaserbiz.com. And of course, it is always great to see you at Creative On Purpose as well. Now please take the insight and inspiration from this conversation and use it to fly higher in the difference only you can make. Don't forget to— if you're tuning in where there's a place to leave comments, leave an insight, lesson, aha, or takeaway, or a question And if you're tuning in where there is a possibility of leaving a review, please leave a 5-star review so that more of the right people could collide with the wisdom that Melissa shared with us today. Melissa St. Clair, thank you so much for sharing your experience and your wisdom with us here today.

Thank you so much. I love being here.