The Power of ONE Thing That Sets You Apart

Put your tray in the upright position. We are zipping across the ether. And like magic, as it happens every time, we are where we belong. Welcome to Creative on Purpose Live, conversations about making a better living and a bigger impact by defining, developing, and delivering the difference only you can make. I'm Scott Perry, Chief Difference Maker and Encore Life Coach at Creative on Purpose. If you're ready to play your game and live your legacy, visit creativeonpurpose.com to get started.

Today.

Let's get to today's guest. Nick, welcome to the broadcast. Please tell our viewers who you are, what you're up to these days, and where can people go to learn more about you and the difference you're making.

Yeah, appreciate it. Uh, I'm Nick Peterson, obviously, and, uh, what am I up to these days? It really depends on my mood. Uh, what I do is get people out of their own way. That's really, that's really I got a couple companies, I've sold a couple companies in different industries, and they, they all share the same underpinning, which is like recognizing, wow, these people are really gifted, why are they stuck? And then just diving into that. So that looks like the Guardian Academy, looks like the Wolf Den, it looks like Certain to You. Uh, the best place to see what I'm up to is, um, Scott, as you know, I'm a different kind of individual. So I generally say, hey, go read my book. I just lowered it to the lowest Amazon will probably, uh, will let me. I think it's free on Kindle, but it gives you an idea of how I see the world. And then through there, there's some ways to, to reach out if I can be helpful to you at all.

Fantastic. Well, my introduction to your work actually came through Bumpers, which I have bought again, uh, because, um, it's recently been updated and I can't wait to, to read the extended version, which I understand is over 100 pages now. Um, and our mutual friend Laurel Portier is the one that, that gifted, uh, my initial copy to me. And so highly recommend checking out Bumpers on Amazon and grabbing it while you can for the lowest price possible. Um, and I love what you're, what you— how you defined what you do is helping people get out of their own way. In, in some ways, it's not unlike what I try to do. Um, the first question I always like to ask guests, just because I'm, I'm nosy and interested, and you can feel free to ignore this or answer it as, as completely or completely as you like, but I'm always interested in backstory or the, the origin story. Uh, I'm guessing, um, you know, 9-year-old Nick didn't wake up one day and say, you know what I want to do when I grow up? I want to help people get out of their own way. I've listened to several interviews that you've done on other podcasts. And I know that you have, you know, there's, there's some interesting elements about your, your origin story going back to your childhood, early adulthood. Go back as far as you like, share as much as you like. How did you come to be doing the work that you're doing now?

Oh, that's a good question. So in high school, I didn't have a great family life. Like, I never met my dad, that kind of stuff. And, um, I went to a private Catholic school, and I, I had no business being there. So I came from a very— I came from a poor family. It was a very affluent, uh, school. And because of my test grades and, and situation I was in, somehow I got in. And I hated it. I did not come from a Catholic background., that kind of structure. I've never had that kind of structure before. And they spent— probably half the faculty spent all 4 years trying to get rid of me because I just— it was like I just didn't fit in. And, uh, going into my senior year, I had like a 1.9 cumulative GPA, and they were like, yeah, you're, you're probably gonna have to graduate somewhere else. We can't have this stain on our record, you know. Uh, but there was one individual And I don't know if I've shared this, uh, share this publicly on a, on a platform like this, but it was, uh, my football coach Terry Ennis. And he would just ride me and ride me and ride me harder than everybody else, and I hated him. Uh, and halfway through my senior year, he passed away. He was battling cancer the whole time I knew him, and his wife was my principal in middle school. So I come to find out that's how I got it in the first place, right? And I— this is all stuff I learned later. And, uh, I didn't want to do school. I— whatever, you know. Uh, and so I walk into the locker room that morning and everybody's sitting there crying because football coach passed away. And I was like, huh, what's wrong with me? I'm not really that upset, you know. Uh, so I sit down and, uh Fran, his wife, she walks in and everybody looks like, oh, and, um, you know, she must be— and she was like chilling. Um, so she comes in and she walks by everybody and she comes straight to me and I'm like, Jesus. And she goes, you know, he loved you the most. And then she left and I lost it. I was like— it took, it took me a minute and then I was just I lost it. And it was like that moment where I was like, I should stop sucking at life. I really got to figure out how to, uh, because I like— I just started getting it. Like, oh, he didn't hate me. Like, he just cared a lot. And that shifted. Uh, just the last 3 and a half years just made more sense to me. Um, So I talked to my counselor, and this whole time they're like, you're not gonna be able to finish school here. Like, 100% of graduates go to 4-year universities, and you have like a 1.98 GPA, so you're gonna have to finish school somewhere else. And I was like, yeah, I don't want to. Um, and they're like, look, unless you get like an acceptance letter by this time frame, you have to finish. You just have to finish somewhere else. And, uh, That's the first time I went and I filled out— I got everything done. I filled out all these applications. First time I sat down and like did work that required any tedium in 18 years, my first 18 years. And I did get accepted into a couple universities. I ended up going to Eastern Washington, and, uh, I did graduate. Uh, funny story, 10 years later they call me up and they're like, hey, we need you to come, you know, come fly out here to accept your Alum of the Decade award, uh, ceremony and everything. And I, I was like, you guys tried to kick me out the whole time, now you're trying to take credit? Get out of here. Uh, so, but that was, that was like the turning point where I was like, oh wow, like I just buckled down because I was focused on something and a lot of really good stuff happened. Uh, so fast forward, I, I went to, I went to Eastern Washington for a couple quarters. Uh, I was actually going to propose to my girlfriend at the time. It was ridiculous. Um, and caught her cheating, which was horrible. And I was like, you know what, school sucks. And I left. Um, and I spent probably 2 or 3 months homeless in Seattle. And it was like, you know, trying to crash on, uh, frat house couches and stuff. And, uh, my buddy come— my buddy found me. His name is Justin. He found me sleeping on a park bench, like, in the middle of the day. And he woke me up and he's like, what the hell are you doing? Let's go to lunch. So he took me to lunch and he tells me he's inherited about $40 million. And also a company in Florida, which is as far away from Seattle as you can get. They said, I'm gonna send you there and you're gonna work, and I'll, you know, let you stay at the condo until you get on your feet and all that stuff. And I said, F you, I'm not going to Florida. That night I had nowhere to sleep, so I called him back. I was like, hey, I'll go to Florida. Uh, so I went, I I went to, uh, Pompano Beach initially, and, uh, I worked. And he was like, he's like, look, here's my goal: by the time you're 24, 25, you're gonna have the best resume you could possibly have, having not finished college. Like, uh, I learned how to read blueprints. I got certified in everything you possibly get certified in. It was a high-end wood veneer, like, architectural manufacturing company. Uh, and I became general manager and I was getting paid very, very well and I was 21. Uh, and then I took a trip to, uh, DeFranco's Gym, which is a, it's a very popular, famous gym in New Jersey. And I decided to stay because I was like, this is awesome. So I interned there and it was something about, uh like training athletes. It's something about the immediate feedback loop that I just loved. And I, you know, I love exercise, uh, but when you're training high-level athletes, the, the, the movement is so precise and the feedback loop is super tight. Like, you should make an adjustment and there's an immediate impact. And it was like, that was awesome. Uh, so I did that, and then I, I went back to Florida to open my own gym. Um, I went pro in strongman, I totaled elite in powerlifting, I did all that stuff, uh, and I was training athletes because it was like I loved it. And then one day— my gym was gross, by the way, at the time, it was just like a bunch of dudes lifting heavy stuff— uh, this lady walks in and she's like, hey, my gym just shut down and this looks like pretty hardcore, can I try it? And it's like, uh, sure, what are you paying your other gym? And she told me, and I was like, holy shit, that's like 10 times what I charge anybody. Uh, she's like, yeah, all my friends are looking too, but, um, yeah, I mean, I like this, it's cool, but it's kind of dirty. So I was like, hey guys, clean up, clean up now. Uh, And so then she brought some friends, and every— you just pay attention to them, and every— the market always tells you what they want if you pay attention. And so quickly became— went from like this gross powerlifting gym, uh, in like one bay in a strip mall, knocked down 9 walls, had 10 bays, lines around the block, waiting list. That it was just a, um— the shift was, I want to train athletes to I want to learn how to make money. And guess what, still a tight feedback loop, especially brick and mortar. It's a much tighter feedback loop when you can see like people's reactions and what they're looking at and stuff like that. So we grew that, and, uh, from there, uh, nutrition company, which was— so my, my gym was obviously brick and mortar. The nutrition company, that's where I started learning the remote world. And they both did really well. And, uh, I sold them to my partners. I had a partner in each one, and they're both still running. Uh, and I just kind of started going like, huh, I should learn internet marketing because look at all these people on the internet, they're so rich. So I joined these internet marketing masterminds, and I realized really quickly that I just took like 10 steps backwards. Like, we built two very successful companies, um, and all of these internet marketing tactics and stuff were like horrible. And so I was like, yeah, I'm not doing this anymore. Um, and then what happened, I'll tell you how we got here, is, uh, one of them shut down, and this, this lady called me and she's like, what do I do? I need a coach. And I was like, I don't think you need a coach, you're pretty smart. No, I need a coach, I gotta find somebody. I said, okay, what were you paying them? She was like, 3 grand a month. I said, cool, give me 3 grand a month and you could call me whenever you want. And I was like half joking because she just called me for free. She's like, really? I said, yeah, but you could just call me for free. And you know, there's something about— I was like, yeah, give me 3 grand a month, I'll do anything I can to help you. And, uh, that day some Bradley— his name was Bradley— he called and he said, hey, what are you doing with Mallory? I was like, well, I don't know, she's gonna be 3 grand a month and I guess she's just gonna call me, you know. He's like, I want in. I said, oh, okay, but like, I don't know what I'm gonna give you guys. Uh, 2 months in, we had 44 people paying 3 grand a month. These are just people that have been watching, you know, like just observing the stuff that we do. Uh, and so that was really like the first, okay, I guess I, uh— and it was, it was great because the, the rule for my mastermind was no two people could do the same thing because it's boring for me. So, uh, you never had to— your competition was never in the room, and my brain was always like trying to, you know, I, I couldn't go on autopilot, and it was, it was great. And I just started observing the, uh, the blinders everybody has on. Like, nobody in this industry has figured this out. It's like, yeah, but in this industry they have. Just do that. Uh, it was a really cool, like, uh, experience for me to, to overcome, like, domain dependence and this blindness to patterns. Uh, so I did that for a while, and then from there I just didn't want to do it anymore. Uh, so I started building. I started, uh, from that mastermind. So Laurel was in the network, uh, that's the name of it. Uh, Dan Nicholson was in the network. And so I just started pulling out like people that were particularly interesting. Or, uh, Laurel, for example, is an incredible implementer. And what I want is I want a tight feedback loop, and she implements so fast that we get that. So I either, you know, pulled out some, some people that I wanted to keep working with and partnered with others and just started building their, their companies. Uh, about now, how I got here— on my 31st birthday, I was like, I'm done. I'm not working anymore. Like, I retire. I can— I could go a while without working. And I just started tinkering with crypto, and I saw the same patterns again. So like, when I got in the crypto, I was like, this is so innovative. It's like, nope, same stuff, same stuff. Uh, and I just realized that there's a huge gap between the technicians and, uh, the audience, uh the investors. And so I just started trying to fill that gap, and that's where the Wolf Den, uh, Guardian Academy, and all that stuff came from. So that's basically my life, which is want to learn a thing and then be relentless about learning a thing, uh, and then it's kind of— there's a point where the returns are so severely diminished, like, it's not practical. And that's typically where I'm like, okay, I'm done with this thing now. And rinse and repeat. That's been— that's how I'm here.

Yeah, that's really fascinating. There's a couple, just a couple things to— a couple threads to pull on. One is, um, you know, going all the way back, you know, it's so interesting to me how so many of us— I had an experience not entirely dissimilar from yours. I'm Catholic and went to a private school where I met some teachers and coaches, athletic coaches who changed, who really changed my life. They introduced me to Stoic philosophy and the Bhagavad Gita, which are two things that continue to inspire and inform everything I do. But the theme that, that, that the thread or the theme that I see all the way through your, your origin story is you're always paying attention and you're always letting experience be the teacher. Um, and you had this one experience where you decided, well, I'll go see what the gurus have to say, and it actually ended up setting you back instead of catalyzing you forward. And so there's several things that, um, you said that I'd love to unpack a little bit more, but the last thing that you were talking about is this idea of it's the same thing over and over. And I'm a former musician, and we had this thing that we say— there's two things that, that, that sustain— helped me sustain my career. One was, um, that's the gig. Like, if you're playing a crappy dive bar, that's the gig. And if you're playing on a big festival stage, that's the gig. You play the gig that you're playing, and it's— playing a gig is supposed to be fun, so you better have some fun doing it. And the other is same bullshit, different venue. In other words, it's the same problems and the same, um, this— and you have the same skills and tools to solve that problem wherever you go. It doesn't matter if it's the crappy dive bar or, um, the big festival stage with, you know, people that are more famous than you. So, um, Have you found that it, you know, of all these things that the same thing over and over, what would you say are the top 3, 5 skills, principles, practices that you have helped, that have helped you help people get out of their way and get closer to the things that they want in life?

So the most complicated one So I'll start with that. Is, is really just the ability, uh, it's function over form, right? Or it's form over function, where people get really stuck on details when they don't need to. Um, and so just quick example, I know I've shared this on many platforms before, it's like, okay, uh, I need to take that picture off the wall and take the screw out. That's the function, like that's what I'm supposed to get done. And then you're like, oh, how do I get this screw out? And somebody goes, you need a screwdriver. You're like, I don't have a screwdriver. So then you drive to Home Depot and you start obsessing over screwdrivers. You become a screwdriver collector, uh, you're comparing screwdrivers, and it's like all that time was not performing the function. Like, use a fucking butter knife and get the screw out. And so we get stuck on form all the time. We're seeing with AI right now Like, the function is, oh, this could save me time, and then you spend 14 hours making pictures. You got stuck on the form. The function was to save you time. Did it save you time? No. Uh, you see it in fitness all the time. A lot of people exercise for catharsis, or they start to exercise, you know, I gotta go to yoga class because I'm stressed out. Then I start stressing out about being good at yoga. So, uh, that, that's probably the biggest one, that it's just like, what are you trying to accomplish? Okay, just do this. But you got so stuck on the tools, instead of accomplishing things, you're just trying to find ways to use tools. So, uh, that gives— that gives— that maintains like a direction, you know, like what are you trying to accomplish? Okay, well, what's the most efficient path towards that thing? Uh, so functional reform is probably the biggest one. Uh, the detail-oriented people and the fact-finder people, uh, they tend to get in their own way because they, they miss patterns, right? So there's like, if, if you— if I say, no, yeah, well, this will perform better because it's multiplicative, uh, that there's a pattern. You say, okay, when you add things up, it goes like this. When it it's multiplicative, there's geometric. Uh, so the people have to sit down because they can't recognize the pattern, they have to do the math and build the spreadsheet every time. Um, they tend to miss most opportunities that would lead to like exponential. Um, so just, just getting— it's a version of function over form almost. It's really getting stuck on the details. Uh, the biggest one which— so, so the first two, the, the question is, it's always, what pattern is this? Um, and then being, being slow to name it. So you might say, uh, oh, you're sweating, that's a biology thing. And it's like, well, it's actually a negative feedback loop, right? So you could say, oh, anchor protocol. That's a crypto thing. Actually, it was a negative feedback loop. Uh, so you could rec— like, it's not that unexpected because that's what happens. You get a doom loop like that. Uh, positive feedback loops, you know, uh, causal chains, things that you don't need to know the details to just know that this is how the pattern works. Uh, so it's practicing identifying underlying pattern, which is tough. It takes a lot of repetition. And then the functional reform, it just come back and say, why did I start doing this in the first place? Ask yourself that anytime. You just— whenever. Just, I gotta buy a new thing, I need to download a new tool, I need— why are you doing it in the first place? To get the screw out of the wall. Okay, so you want the screw out of the wall? Yes. What's the most efficient way to get the screw out of the wall? This butter knife. Okay, forget the screwdriver. And then the, the most important one that I see in every single industry and every domain outside of business as well is— I didn't have the language for it before, but I do now— what we call the Rocky Road, the illusion of communication. People communicate so poorly, and then We, we overestimate our ability to communicate, and then we grossly overestimate how well we have communicated after it's taken place. And so there's a whole bunch of like, you anytime it's like, man, I really thought we were on the same page, it's like, well, you weren't because you heard— you said this, they heard this. And, uh, the— a lot of the communication is assumptions. Assumptions that we make, sweeping things under the rug. That's not a big deal. But then it comes back 10 years later, you know, like somebody gets divorced over something that happened 10 years ago that they just never articulated. So communication between partners, business or otherwise, and communication between leaders and their constituents. If I could say, the most gifted people— so the most gifted people generally, um, use the side of their brain that can see asymmetry. It's either the, the side of your brain that sees patterns is not the side of your brain that is responsible for vocabulary. So we see it and we don't have the words for it. Those are two different hemispheres of our brain. Uh, so it's, it's really understanding, like, hey, you see this? If I can say, okay, you can see this, now can you work on articulating it or draw shapes or something? Um, it unlocks a whole new world for them because they're brilliant, they're super gifted, but everybody thinks they're crazy because, like, what the hell are you saying, you know? So I would say, uh, functional reform. Pattern recognition and communication are, uh, the biggest things. It's not a— you can't— my opinion is you, you have what you have, right? You have what you have, and there's some room to grow. Um, it's more a matter of how do you get people out of your way, how do you help them get to where they want to go. For me, it's more give them direction, uh, help them grow. But there are things— there's like something dormant inside of them, which is like in the Guardian Academy, right? It's like we gotta tease it out of them. And that can't happen if they're struggling with the mundane, meaning they're stressed out because their spouse doesn't understand them. And if you can't handle your day-to-day communications, uh, you can't do the work that teases out these other properties like purpose. You know, like all the things, um, if you're a football fan, Tom Brady drafted in the 6th round or whatever. They, they measured him every way you can measure him at the combine and decided, yeah, he's not going to be very good. And then he becomes the best player of all time. Why? There was something inside of him that they couldn't measure, and he found a way to tease it out of himself. Uh, and you can't do that if you're sitting here getting stuck in spreadsheets because you can't see a pattern, or you're stressed out and arguing with your spouses and your family because you can't communicate. So it's like, handle the mundane, uh, and then tease out these— whatever is already in you, you just gotta pull it out of you.

Yeah, well, I love that point because I really believe that we're all born sufficient and whole, possessing everything we need to figure out who we, who we are, who we want to be. What we want and how to get there. It's, I mean, as true as infants, we learn how to talk and walk and read and write, and we do this really with, um, very little instruction. It's all about just putting in, doing, putting in the reps. And so I love that, um, you, you have used this language, um, that I really resonate with, with of Emergence, like helping people become or step into or micro-step into, you know, who they really are and leverage what they're really good at to get closer to what they really want. And so, you know, to your point, it, well, my question is, it feels to me like, at least in the work that I do with clients, that Really, you know, I'm a believer in do the hard part first. And the hard part often is helping clients see who they really are and what they really want. And I'm just curious about— I love form over function. Systems reliability are things that, you know, these, that this is terminology I've learned from you that has been very helpful. Communication also is, is, you You know, we human beings make sense of themselves, each other, and their situation through narrative. And you get to, you have to craft a narrative that actually helps you close the gap between where you are and where you want to be. And we are pretty sucky at that if left to our own devices. So if you don't mind just leaning into that edge a little bit, how do you help your clients get clearer about who they really are? Clear. Clearer about and closer to what they really want and help them prune away all the unnecessary, um, so that, uh, they can, you know, step into and emerge into, um, you know, this thing that they're meant to be and do.

Yes, it's great. So there's, there's a few things. There's first, uh, a lot, a lot of, you know, my, my, the audience that resonates the most like that always comes back and loves my stuff is like 45 to 55-year-old, uh, Type A women, which is like the opposite of me. Uh, and a big reason is, is obviously if I'm speaking to them on stage or whatever, you know, as a— then there's some authority. And a lot of it is like, hey, it's okay, calm down, like go take a nap, it's cool. And so the first, for me, the first step is that when we're talking, right, through in dialogue and hopefully in content, there's kind of a B message to say, hey, it's okay, you don't have to have it figured out right now, we got time. They have to accept that first because if they're trying to get it right the first time, it will never work. So it's, it's first like discerning, are they even open to like an iterative process, because If not, I don't know how to help. I'm sure there's a way, I don't know how. Um, and then it's a process of— it's a, it's a version really of like cognitive behavior therapy where it's like, yeah, I love— I think I would love to do videos every day. I was like, cool, do videos every day. And then, did you do videos every day? Like, well, no, because on 2 days I just didn't want to. And through conversation, like, so do you really love it? Like, no, I actually hate Like, okay, so it's just a process of discovery through behavior. Through, okay, behave this way, make a, make a micro plan of your behavior, and then use the science of hindsight to see how you actually behaved. And then let's talk about why there's a difference between the two. And talking through that difference, he says, you know, um, you get people like, yeah, you know, I'm just me, I don't care what people think. And it's like, okay, um, like they'll say that early on because they believe that about themselves. And then maybe they say, hey, I want to start getting up at 5 and going to the gym every morning. So, okay, do that every morning. They say, did you do that every morning? Well, no, you know, I didn't Friday. I, I slept in because Thursday night I was out late. Like, well, why did you go out late if your goal was to get up early? Well, my friends were kind of guilt-tripping me and make me feel— but also, you do care what they think. Like, you have to know this about yourself. I'm not being an a-hole. It's— I don't care that you care. You just have to be honest with yourself. And so it's just a process of teasing out reality. And, uh, you're— you, you— who you truly are comes through in your behavior, right? So it's really just a process of examining your behavior. And the, the closer your behavior matches the plan, the, the better you know yourself. If you're making these crazy plans and, you know, the history of behavior says you'll never do it, then you don't know yourself very well. And that's most people. Uh, so same thing, right? Uh, in the gym, in the nutrition company, in all the business stuff, in, uh, all of my partnerships, it looks different but it's the same thing. What do you plan? Like, what is the minimum effective dose for this strategy? Okay, do it every day. Okay, you can't do it, why? And then you remove all the personal stuff and their business starts doing better, and they think you're like a brilliant business coach. Uh, I didn't tell you anything about your business, told you about you. You're plenty smart to figure out your business, uh, if you're honest about who you are.

Yeah, I love that. My friend and mentor Seth Godin was on a few weeks ago, and in his new book, he has this thing. He says, let's get, let's get real or let's not play. And I love, you know, it reminds me a little bit of what you're saying is, you know, we have to have this, we have to learn how to have honest conversations with ourselves and take objective looks at ourselves that don't involve a lot a lot of adjectives and adverbs and value judgments about ourselves and about other people. So just, just one more thing before we get to the last thing. You've, you've circled around this a couple of times, and I'd love to just hone in on it. Something that I call the identity trap, where we over-identify or cling to a role or a goal that, you know, maybe served us in a moment but is no longer serving us or is based on an expectation of, you know, that others had for us or, you know, that society in general has for us. You know, the identity trap is one of those things that I think really conspires to help us get in our own way because we're where, because if we're not meeting our expectations or other people's expectations, if we're not getting the outcomes, you know, achieving the goals that we said we wanted, that can lead to these kind of, you know, narratives around, you know, failure and, you know, just, they, it just, it trips us up. And so, When, when people, when you catch people, uh, or how do you help people avoid, uh, the identity trap or just, um, you know, overly, uh, clinging too firmly to expectations or paying too much attention to other people's scrutiny, to use Randy's language?

Uh, it's similar. Uh, so I, I do, I do most things through dialogue. You know, because it's just real-time feedback loops. I, I need a tight feedback loop. Um, the identity is tough. So I remember when I had my gym, probably at 30% of our clients were doctors. We had all the doctors. And the whole Obamacare thing happened, and the number of doctors that I was talking to, there's like, I, I might just quit and go do something else. And again, this is just paying attention to, you know, stuff. And it's like, okay, because Obamacare, I've heard it's horrible, you know. And, and a majority of them are like, you know, I knew halfway through med school that I didn't want to do this. And it's like, but you kept doing it, and now you're like 55, and now you're gonna do something about it. And so that's when I realized this, like, so for me, I was like, wow, that sounds horrible. And it just kind of made the connection where like, wow, getting stuck on something 10 years in advance, that does not end well. I'm just watching people that decided in 10 years I want to be this, and they get there and they're miserable. Uh, so it's just, it's just a constant reminder of like, uh In, in the Bumpers Accelerator, I had this thing called Titles vs. Names. And, uh, it's just thinking, it's just having a real conversation. And, you know, a lot of times just people being real with themselves will, will kind of break them out of this. It's like a title, like, I want to be a doctor. Like, okay, but do you want to become a doctor so for the rest of your life you can point at something you did in the past? 'Look, I got, I got my degree,' or do you want to show up and doctor people every day? Like, which one? Um, and sometimes people, they've confused the two. They're like, 'Oh wait, I never thought about— I never thought about actually how those could be different things.' So it's like, you think about the title. What title do I want? I want to be a world champion whatever, heavyweight boxer. Like, okay, do you want it so that you can point and say, look what I did, or do you want it because you want to go through the process of becoming that thing? Um, and frankly, if you, if you just want it so you have the credential and you can point at it for the rest of your life, then I don't know what to do. I'm— those aren't my people. My people are the ones that want to be known. So I don't share my backstory. I don't share my credentials. I don't share any of that stuff, uh, because I want you to know me for what I'm doing for you today. So that's a name, Nick. That's Nick. It's not, you know, this credential, that credential, this, because that's all shit I did in the past. Uh, so it's really thinking about, you know, do— am I doing this if you want to be a brain surgeon, and because you want to save lives in like whatever, then become a brain surgeon so you can do what you want to do every day. Uh, if it's for the title, I don't know. I, I don't work with that kind of person because it's a countdown to doomsday, you know. It's like, yeah, I made it, now what? Uh, so I would just think about that, that that's kind of the thing to— do you want the title, or, uh, you know, what do you want to be known for? And for me and the people that, that I tend to work with, they want to be known for the things they are doing for people right now. Uh, they just got the two confused. Yeah, so we can work through like, well, I want to help people.

Okay.

You realize at this point, if you become a doctor with a private practice, you're probably not going to spend a lot of time helping people. You're going to spend a lot of time doing paperwork. Like, oh shit, well, that's not what I want. So we just reoriented them away from the title to the function. Function over form again. Um, so hopefully that makes sense.

It makes absolute sense. Um, I made a living for almost 30 years as a professional musician. And I, to this day, even though I haven't done that for a number of years, have people come up to me and say, hey, I'd really like to do what you do and make a living making music. And I say, don't, because what you don't understand is that when you decide to turn your passion, your hobby, into your job, you're going to end up spending 80% of your time, maybe 90% of your time, doing stuff you hate, like booking gigs trying to get paid, marketing the gigs, trying to keep bandmates in line, uh, you know, never mind the hours spent with, you know, sweaty dudes in a smelly van. Um, you know, if you want to play music, play music. Do something that allows you to fund the thing that you love to do. And so what I'm hearing and what you're saying is, is tied to the idea for me— fuck off— like You have— if you are— it's, it's the reserve clause of life, you know, in the face of new information. If I'm learning that this thing that I'm doing is not something that actually fulfills me and fuels me, I reserve the right to change my mind and try to do something else. And one of the things that I love about what you're saying earlier is we tend to get really bogged down in the tactical. I'll just keep trying different things, or I'll keep adding things to my to-do list to try to achieve, you know, this happiness that I'm pursuing, where really it's more about pruning the things that are not necessary and being more strategic about, like, what are the essential things that I need to, to do, and how do I do those things effortlessly so I can close the gap more quickly to get from where I am to where, where I want to be.

Yeah. Yeah, and I mean, that's obviously— that's aligned with our methodology. And it's just, um, people like to add stuff, and it comes down to when you start taking stuff away, what you do is you create space. So if you're me or somebody like me, that's awesome because I know all the good stuff comes with a— you know, it's like if your calendar is blank people want to fill it. It's almost like a promise that tomorrow is going to be there because it's full, you know. Uh, it's— oh, my calendar stresses people out because it's empty. I was like, what, you think because there's nothing there that I'm like not going to be alive tomorrow? And on some level, yeah, there's like some certainty that something's gonna happen tomorrow, uh, and that's what they want. But, uh, I want space. Space is where things, you know, it's where you have a chance to be receptive receptive and think about things and observe things and let new things land. Um, the problem with space is if then you got to sit with yourself and you can't ignore— yeah, you can't ignore things that you can ignore if you're busy. And so part of getting rid of the things that aren't there, uh, that includes the delusion that you have about yourself. And so people are very hesitant to start removing things, which is what everybody should do, because eventually you get to the point where, like, oh my God, I gotta work on myself. Yeah, nope, I'll just fill the space with something else.

It's a really, really fascinating and very true point. Um, Nick, you've already delivered a ton of, of insights, uh, and inspiration that will help people that are tuning in get a little bit clearer about who they are and what they want and find better ways of getting there. If there was just, you know, one final principle, practice, tip, quote, something that you feel would help someone take the next step they need to take to get clear about and closer to who they are and what they want, what would you share with them?

This has been, uh, the most shared recently, uh, from, from Bumpers, is, uh, you can't win a race you don't want to be in. That's— I'll tell you the first— I'll just tell a quick story about the first time I said that. Uh, Jeff Moore, and he's told this before, uh, he said— he was talking about he, he was want to leave his job, and he kept saying 'But everybody thinks I should keep doing it. Everybody says I'm so good at it. I'm like the best at this.' And he is, he's one of the best. He's probably the best in the world at what he does. Um, it's like, you know, 'It's just so easy to win.' He's like, 'Well, you can't win a race you don't want to be in.' And that just snapped him out of, uh, that. So I say it to myself all the time, uh, just remember, like, doesn't matter if you're good at something, If you don't want it, if you don't want the outcome, then don't do it.

I love it. You can't win a race that you don't want to be in. Thanks for everyone for tuning in. Nick and I really appreciate the gift of your time and attention. We hope that today's broadcast motivates you to take a bolder step into possibility for yourself, to keep go-go going with the defining, developing, and delivering the difference only you can make. Visit creativeonpurpose.com. And if you're watching on social media or YouTube, please leave a comment, share a question, or let us know what your biggest aha lesson or takeaway is. If you're listening as a podcast, please give us a 5-star rating and a review. It really helps more of the right people connect with the insight and inspiration that my guests are delivering. Now take the insight and inspiration from this conversation and go out and play your game all in and full out. Nick Peterson, thanks so much for the gift of your time and wisdom and experience today.

Yeah, of course. My pleasure.