Sean Glaze explains how leaders can listen better by staying curious instead of judgmental. He uses a flashlight metaphor to keep focus on the other person, references Charles Derber's research on conversational shifting versus supporting, and emphasizes asking questions to truly understand.
So what's the secret to you being a better listener as an effective leader? Be curious, not judgmental. Next conversation you have, picture yourself holding a flashlight. Your job is to ask the other person questions and to keep the flashlight on them. Don't shift it to yourself. In fact, Charles Derber, a sociology professor at Boston College, did research on listening in conversations and found there are two common responses: shifting and supporting. When you shift the focus from the conversational partner to yourself, that's oftentimes conversational narcissism. Instead, you want to focus on them and always seek to stay curious and ask the next question. One of the most generous and meaningful things that you can do as a leader is to ask your people questions and then listen to understand and perhaps become a part of their life story. I'm Sean Glaze. That's what effective leaders do.
