Raise Strong Men: The Conversation Every Father Owes His Son

What's the main reason you came back out here?

I knew that you needed me to be here.

I wanted the whole family out here for, you know, the 4 weeks. A week by myself, 4 weeks with the family. That didn't mean aunts, uncles, kids. I did that to appease her. The day you told me that I'm not staying out here for 4 weeks, what do you think that did to me?

You didn't like it.

Of course I'm not going to say nothing. What's the reason you didn't want to stay out here?

Being away from everything for a whole month.

What if something happens to me? I'm just saying, if I passed away, what would happen? You'd rather be around your friends, your girlfriend, and—

No.

And go to cookout or whatever y'all do and chill and show off your wheels and your truck and—

No.

And be that guy? I've been that guy. I've had it all. I've had stuff way before anybody else had it. None of that means nothing. When I was growing up, the thing that mattered the most to me was being with my daddy every day, you know. At 8 years old, what did I do? I started working. Why?

To be around—

because I wanted to learn. I wanted to be around my daddy every Friday and Saturday night. I wanted to go help on the race cars so I could be around my daddy. You chose another path. You don't want to be around me. You rather be around a bunch of fucking idiots. Some may, may do something in their life, and I guarantee it, 90% won't. You got a 10% chance of being around people that's actually going to do something in their life. I love Nope, nope, I didn't have no problem with her being out here, zero. And if she wanted to stay out here for with you for 4 or 5 weeks, I didn't care. But when you was in your room for 70% of the time, really bothered me. We had fun going out on the ATVs, you know, we took Hala, Madden, cuz that's what mattered to me. Give me your perspective on some things, anything that's on your mind. Anything's here, say it. Nothing you can say bothers me.

Like, I don't need a vacation to show you that, that I care about you. Like, I can— we can go do stuff at home. We can go— I mean, I don't know.

Well, sure, I, I needed this from the shop. Yeah, I needed this away from everybody else.

Yeah, I know.

That's why I did this. That's why I spent $25,000 to do this. You know what happened? This was a vacation to hell. You not want to spend zero time with me. It was all about Ayla. It was all about you and staying in your room. And I don't want you to, you know, blame yourself for it, cuz, you know, I understand you're a kid. I stayed in my room 90% of the time. Do you know why?

Why?

Because my mom and daddy argued all the time. Me and your mama don't argue like that. Of course everybody's going to have arguments, everybody, or they're going to have disagreements. But me and your mom is totally different from how I grew up. I mean, night and day difference. You don't have to worry about me going out on a 5 or 6-day drug binger. Not know where I'm at, not know if I'mma die. I had to worry about that.

That's why it hit me by surprise, because I didn't think that I had to worry about that with you.

You have to worry about it with everybody.

Yeah, I know, but like, you, but you could die tomorrow.

I don't give a fuck how old you are.

I know, but it's just like the way you portray yourself to me, I don't feel like I see that you like think about stuff like that.

Well, yeah, I'm a badass motherfucker. I mean, I've been through some shit.

I know you are.

I should be dead or in prison.

I know. I'm not saying that that's a reason that I should not think about that, but I just don't think that I like look at you like that.

Okay, then what are some of the things that we can do to get closer? Because when I die, I don't want you to have any regrets. Zero.

I just like fighting. I just want to start like going to like a place or something.

You've done that and you stopped.

No, it's just because the— just like on the floor, it just kind of got like— I can't like do— I like punching. Like I could do like a mixed class where it's on the floor and then, you know, like striking and stuff.

I mean, I understand.

Yeah.

But if you go to somebody that knows how to do floor work And you go to somebody who goes punching, who you think's going to win?

Probably the floor, but—

1,000%. Yeah, that's not a fucking question.

Yeah, I know. It was just, it's just like the— it was just, I don't know, it just kind of got boring to me. But I like, like, I just like it all. I just, I would rather do like flip-flop, you know how like they do the different days sometimes? Okay, that's what I— okay.

Yeah, and then it's Muay Thai and then it's jiu-jitsu. Yeah, that's what it is.

Yeah, just like that. That's what I was talking about.

Yeah, but the thing is, if you don't follow through, what's the point?

I will follow through. And if— I mean, you could— I know you're kind of older, but I mean, you could go with me. Okay. Wouldn't be hard on your bones and stuff.

I mean, I feel like a 20-year-old. Okay. I don't hurt anywhere. I like— it don't bother me.

Then I want to do like a class with you.

Okay, okay, we'll figure that out. Okay, cuz that's something I want to learn anyway. That's why Trey goes to Thailand and he learns that Muay Thai stuff.

Yeah, I've seen that when he goes out there. Yeah, but yeah, that's— I mean, I'm just interested in that. I just watch it all the time. Yeah, you know, I'd rather not be somewhere where I don't know what I'm doing.

Yeah, and I, and I see some, some of the traits that, that are in me, they're in you. Listen, and I know— I, I, I don't know how you and Ayla get, but I know how sometimes you get snappy at Ayla. I've seen it. You can't do that, okay? So if you like her enough, you need to treat her the day you met her, the week you met her, you need to treat her like that every, every day. 'Cause if not, she's gonna leave your ass. That's a fact. People get complacent and they start treating people differently. Do you want that?

No.

Then start treating her better. If you ain't already. I don't know. 'Cause I'm not around y'all.

I was different. I have changed. I used to be mad all the time.

Why?

I don't know. I've just been angry.

Yeah, but why? There's a reason. There's always a reason.

Built-up tension. I don't know.

Okay, why? You do know why.

I don't, I just, I don't know.

You smiling at— and you do know why.

I know I do enough and something is just— I just snap sometimes. I get mad.

What do you mean you feel like you don't do enough?

Just like you, like sometimes when you used to, when you were, when you were that different person, you used to just snap sometimes, remember? You just get mad. I just feel like that just happens to me and I can't control it sometimes.

Well, a lot of my snapping was from like building businesses. And that's, that's, that's what I'm trying to get you to do is do something that you love that you don't have to have a bunch of employees that you have to deal with because that's, that's where the aggravation comes from. It ain't, it ain't owning or building a business. That's easy. Dealing with 14 other employees or 100 employees. That's totally different. That right there will put a toll on you. Yeah, because you got this person don't want to do something, this person don't want to do something, and then if you want to fire half the damn crew, you lose your damn business. Which we're at that point now where everybody knows you do something crazy, your ass is out of there. Yeah, but I'm trying to put you in a position Whatever you need to do, even if you need to fly back out to Utah and I'll call Winnie or whatever, whatever we got to do. And I know you said you don't want to do fine lines. I don't give a damn. You need to learn anything and everything about that business. Just like when it comes to weightlifting, when it comes to, to certain supplements, I have to know anything and everything about that supplement, what it does, when to take it Everything. So what are some of the things you can do to release some of your anger? Like, what are some of your angers now?

I don't, like, have angers. I just— it's just like— it's just the part of me that just gets angry. Okay.

Do you snap at Ayla?

No.

Never? Not once?

I don't snap at her, no. I'll snap at other people, but not her. I know better than that.

Hey, why are you snapping at other people? Have they done anything to you?

It's certain things just trigger me. I just get mad.

If it was up to me, you'd be homeschooled, okay?

Yeah.

And I don't think you want to do that. Whether you want to do that or not, your mom wants to see you walk across stage.

Yeah.

Okay? So you got a little bit longer. Can you hold on a little bit longer?

Yeah.

And that's for your mama. That ain't for me. I'd rather see you do a lot better in your tattooing because that school ain't gonna take you nowhere. Yeah, yeah, not nowhere.

Yeah, the school's just for the experience. I know it's not gonna take me nowhere, but you need to learn how to do—

whether you like it or not, you have to do things that you don't like in order to do things that you do like. Like me, I do a lot of shit I don't like, but I have to do it. You think I like getting up at 5 in the morning and going for a walk? No, I could still be in the damn bed. Yeah, I do it because I know I need to do it. Do you think I like eating eggs 3 times a damn day with some rice? No, no, I do it because I know I have to do it. I wasn't shown a lot of love when I was a kid. It's hard for me to show it to y'all, you know, and, and, and, and Some of the ways that I show it is, Dad, can you get me this? Dad, can you get me this? Sure, sure. I don't want that. It's like, that's why I got aggravated when you asked me about wheels. It's like, you call me when you want something. You don't call me just to see how my day's going. You don't call me say, hey, I just want to tell you I love you. None of that. You call me when you want something, and that bothers me. And I know you saw that video that I made about me getting in the sauna, right? That, that day meant more to me than anything. That day I was going to do what I was going to do. This is a fact. I'm not scared of death. Death has been put in front of me many a times, more than you know, more than your mama knows. But when you told me that, I got out of that sauna and I prayed for the first time to get some of these images and and, and, and thoughts out of my head, right? And they did. They hadn't been there since. The only thing that's bothering me now is we, we let Sean take the reins of the business and running the business, and he hasn't done a good job. So when I get back, I'm gonna have to take it back over and I'm gonna have to do what I gotta do to raise that business back up, okay? And I know exactly what to do. I only built that house because your mama wanted it. I didn't want that house. I was fine where it was. So a lot of money that I had saved up, which was a lot of money— I made a lot of money, like a lot of money— but I spent it all on all the properties. I built that house. I built your grandpa's house. Um, I still have some money left over, and, and I did, and I, and I made that money by putting my life on the line for y'all. I mean, you don't even understand what I went through. I did a lot of things that I don't regret. Nothing I did, nothing, not one thing, because I had to do it. Y'all mean more to me than anything. And if it wasn't for y'all, I wouldn't be here. 1,000%. Your mama will be set for life 'cause she's got life insurance. I want to personally help you build your personal brand, okay? Only you can help yourself tattoo. I know nothing about it. But when it comes to tattooing or building the brand, and, and, and, and showing how you're doing stuff, teaching how to do stuff, you need to start doing it. Okay, put the damn Meta Glasses on, clear them out. Can you still see with them on there?

Yeah.

Or do they bother you?

No, they're fine.

Huh?

They're fine.

They're fine.

Okay.

All right, there's this other thing if, if they bother you, but the only thing with the Meta Glasses is they help push algorithm up, right? There's another thing that I'm getting is It's already at the house. I should have told you to get it while you was at the house.

I probably brought it in. There's a bunch of packages at the house.

Okay, all right, you probably brought it in. But what it is, it's a thing I wear and it vlogs my whole day. I don't have to edit it. It edits everything myself. I'm glad you came back out here 'cause it means a lot, but we need to spend time together. I don't want you in your fucking room. You know, we're having dinner tonight together, just me and you. Um, I just want to spend more time. Okay, that's it. That's all I want. I may be going to Costa Rica. Yeah, for 7 days to work on myself. Okay, okay. And it's a, uh, it's an herbal medicine called ayahuasca. I don't know if you ever heard about it, seen it, whatever, but it's like ancient medicine that makes you hallucinate, but it takes certain memories and stuff like that and, yeah, it makes you face them.

Yeah.

So this is one of my last resorts. And I'm trying everything I can. And I'm a pretty tough motherfucker. And I feel like I'm failing not only you, Mama, and Mimi because I'm not providing like I should. I've spent a lot of money self-developing. And it's helped a lot. A real— a lot. I've learned a lot. Like in September, me and your mama's gonna go with Andy and his wife. We're gonna do like a little marriage retreat thing to, to, for me and her to get better. Like, we're, we're not bad at all. Can we get better? Yes. It's all about getting better. 1% better every damn day. You have to get better. So what are you doing to get better every day? Are you working on tattooing every day, not just drawing?

Well, I was when I was back home. Right now I'm watching videos and stuff.

I mean, of course, right now.

But yeah, when I was back home, I was doing it every night.

Okay, so I want you to do— sit down, make me a list, text it to me— what you need my help with. Marketing, building a brand, brand name. Okay, your brand name needs to be you. You are the brand.

Yeah.

Okay. Ink something, Mike, it, it, it's just part of it, right? So it's like me, right? I am the brand. Melton X is the umbrella under the brand. That's just what you got to understand, okay? So this is some of the same stuff we're going to do for you. Send me a list of, of stuff that you need me to work on for you that you can't do yourself. Because I'm very good at marketing, I'm very good at colors. It's just come naturally to me for over the years, and I've done very fucking well, very well. And it's like everything I touch goes to gold. I just want the best for you and your sister and your mama. I don't give a shit about me because I, I know that I work hard on myself every day. So that's why I'm not worried about me. I get better every day. Every day I get better. Even on my worst day, I get better. So today we're going to go to the gym, and every day we're here, we're going to go to the gym except my off days. I do have off days. What's today, Monday?

Mhm.

Wednesday is my off day. We'll still go because I want you to do stuff and I want to show you stuff, right? We're not here till Sunday. That's it. We're leaving. It's our last day. So what I want you to do is, whether you do it out here, in your room, or wherever you need to do it, send me a list of stuff you want me to work on, and I will lock this shit down by the end of the week. Okay? I mean, colors, the branding, everything.

What does colors mean?

Huh?

What does colors mean?

Colors is colors. Red, white, blue, green, purple. Colors, not ink. Colors, colors of the brand.

Oh, okay.

We're worth millions on paper, but do we have it liquid? No. But I want you to be able to sustain yourself with doing tattoos and stuff like that. So also put that in there, pricing.

Okay, okay.

I'mma teach you how to sell. Sales will make you rich, flat out. Just doing tattoos ain't gonna make you rich. Yeah, you need to learn. I know, because sales will make you rich. Sales has made me rich. Do you know why people work at McDonald's?

Because they don't know how to—

because they're not good at anything. They're not good at a fucking thing.

Yeah.

Even managers. There's some managers are not good leaders. Everybody who does sales are richer than everybody else if they're good at sales. Yeah. Hell, there's car dealers that make $150,000, $300,000 a year. Andy Elliott made $2.5 million a year.

Why?

Because he was really good at fucking sales. Why do you think I go out to Andy's all the time? It ain't to go slap Andy's back and rub his butt. It's to learn from Andy because he's the fucking best.

Yeah, right?

I mean, that's just it. I go out there to be around a bunch of great people, and, and, and I go out there and, and I learn. And that's why, you know, I take you with me sometimes and you're just sitting there drawing. You should be sitting there fucking learning.

Well, sometimes I just don't really understand what they're talking about. Just because they're always talking about how you already run. I don't already run a business. I don't know, like, sometimes what they're—

You are running a business.

Well, I mean, technically now I am, but like, I didn't know what they were talking about.

Let's do all the branding first, okay?

Yeah.

Send me the list and then we'll set you up an account.

Okay.

We're not going to do— we may do TikTok. All right, TikTok people do not spend— well, it's younger kids that may spend a little money, right?

Yeah.

But when it comes to big money, Facebook and Instagram, that's where the money's at. I'd rather get 10 views and change a person's life than get a million views and change nobody's life. We need to work on that acknowledge form. Okay, the acknowledge form for anybody that's under 18, for their parent to sign off. It needs to be signed off in front of their parent, not just them. Yeah, cuz they can sign the parent's name. Make sure you send that to me too. Okay, this will be a legal binding letter that if they want a tattoo, their parents signed off on it. You get better over time, okay? So don't never— if you do something right or do something wrong, don't beat yourself up. You're new at it. It's okay. You need to be obsessed with anything you're doing. I mean, fucking obsessed. Like me, you see, I'm obsessed with getting abs. They're coming. I'm obsessed with getting fucking— like, you can see my shoulders. I'm obsessed with fitness right now. I'm obsessed with business. I'm obsessed with, with, with, with content. I'm learning new stuff every day with content. I'm learning what changes, because algorithm changes every week. What's, what's good today ain't good tomorrow, ain't good next week. And I didn't mean to be hard on you when you came out here. I was just pissed that you left and then you decided to come back because there was an issue. Listen, You can't wait for an issue to arise before you do something about it. Don't wait for something bad to happen to change it. If you're having an argument with your girl all the time, all the time, all the time, don't wait for something bad to happen to change it. You got to be the bigger man to step up and say, hey, I've been an asshole. I'm sorry, this— these are the things I'm going to change. Is there anything you want me to change? Me and your mama's had several talks. I had been the best husband. I don't know if you know it or not, okay? I've done a lot of crazy shit that she shouldn't have to put up with. Other women, okay? But she sat down with me one day and said she can't do it no more. One more time, I'm done. Hadn't happened since. You have to be the man that you say you're going to be. You can't be fake. Nothing about me is fake, not one fucking thing. I'm real, I keep it real, I tell people like it is whether they fucking like it or not. That's why people like me so much. You either like me or hate me. There is no middle ground. Either way, I don't give a shit. I'm glad you came out here, and, and, and, and, and that's the reason that I, I treated you the way you did. And I shouldn't have did that. That's my fault. I should have gave you a hug. I should have thanked you for coming back out here. Okay, and I love you.

I love you too.

So just some days, just call me. What do you mean? When you went and talked to him?

Yeah.

What'd you say?

I just pleaded with him, just started crying. I just talked. I didn't even have a script or nothing. I just talked.

You don't need a fucking script.

I know, but I just I just talked.

Okay. So what did they say?

They just, they understood that they needed to do what I was talking about.

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's good. But just call me sometimes. Don't just call me when you need something. Why do you think I don't hang out with a lot of people? But never get down on yourself because I know how it can be. As you're growing up, you feel like you ain't good enough and you ain't doing enough and this and that, but you are good enough. And you got people around you that can, that, that can help you way more than anybody else. If somebody with a 6th grade education, as dumb as I am, can make it as far as I got, you can too. You just have to work harder than anybody else. I don't know if anybody works harder than me. The only person I know that works harder than me is Andy. Me and Andy is a lot alike. I mean, a lot. And that's, that's, that's why I look up to Andy, because, you know, he, he, he, he has a family life. Like, he, he, he was like me before, but then he changed. So he knew he had to be a better daddy. He knew he had to be a better husband. He knew how to be a better leader. He knew how to be a— he had to be a better businessman. And these are the things that I'm going to change. And it's my goal to be the best dad ever. Selling's easy. All you're doing is asking questions. You're not talking. The best salesmen talk the least. The best salesmen let everybody else talk.

Okay?

Because when they talk, what happens?

They just kind of get annoying.

No, they're giving you ammunition to put in your pocket to use towards them. Okay. Hey, man, I've been thinking about getting this and this and this and this. All right, cool. I'm gonna put that in my pocket. Man, you know, I want it to be dark. I like the lines like— all right, cool. I'm putting that, putting that in my pocket. All right, at the end of the day, JB, this is what you told me you wanted. You wanted this right here, and you wanted the fine lines looking all good, and you want it done right the first time. Do you agree? All right, cool. What day and time is best for you? Done. That's how easy it was to sell. Yeah, it's— selling's real easy. I sold Nathan to go to the fucking gym. He didn't want to. I sold him to go to the fucking gym. That's amazing, to get a 500-pound person to change his mindset to go to the gym. Yeah, I didn't say, hey, fat— you fat ass motherfucker, you need to go to the gym. What I did, I said, Why put off tomorrow what needs to be done today? Do you agree?

Yeah.

Because he was saying, well, I need to get shoes. I can get that tomorrow morning. I need to get socks. I can get that tomorrow. No, there is a shoe place on the way to the gym. We can get shoes, we can get socks. There is no reason to put off till tomorrow what needs to be done that day. Do you agree? He thought about it for a second. He said, let's go. This is just part of sales, and this is something that me as a leader, me as a daddy, has to teach you. That's my job. I'm sorry the way I treated you when you got here. I shouldn't have did that, and I did that out of anger. Do you understand? Because it was like If he wanted to spend time with me, he should have stayed here. I know what drugs do to people. Look, look at my nephew. 8 years in fucking prison because he wants to be a fucking idiot smoking meth, dealing meth. He's a fucking moron. I don't want you to end up like, like these fucking idiots. I've had guns pulled on me. Do you know what they did? They put that shit back in their car. I mean, it ain't because like I'm, I'm invincible. It's because you're either going to shoot me or, or, or, or you're going to go the fuck home. Because when most people, when they pull out guns, they're more scared of you than you are of them. The loudest person in the room is is the scariest person in the room. They're scared. That's why they— that's why they talk so loud. The quietest people, that's the ones you got to worry about. Give me a hug. I love you. Appreciate you coming out here. Yeah, just hang out. Hang— hang with the right people.

I know.

Don't do no dumb shit.