"'Coaching Couples'" 5 Things We Love About Each Other plus Marriage Nuggets

Yeah, let's kind of grab me extra close. That's fun. Hello, Facebook Live! So as we said, we're going to do a challenge, um, of 5 things you love about each other.

Mm-hmm.

And so we wanted to do this for a few weeks now. We wanted to do it in the beginning of February, but We got so busy. But anyways, Valentine's Day, happy Valentine's Day! Hope you guys had a wonderful day. It's rainy outside, um, where we are. I'm not sure about where you guys are. So we wanted to just share 5 things we love about each other. We feel like it would be, um, beneficial for other couples to do the same thing. Um, and so you want me to go first?

Women first.

Okay, so I had to get a little notepad because, um, I want to make sure I had my thoughts for together. So, um, the first thing about my husband I love the most is that he covers me, that he protects me. He is very protective over me, um, and I feel safe with him. He makes me feel safe. Okay, number 2, he is hilarious. You guys, he is so funny. He's an introvert at heart, but around his family and his friends and close loved ones, he is a clown. So it's never a dull moment in our household. Never. Between him and my youngest daughter, Eloria, they are funny. They are hilarious. Okay, so thank you for lighting up my mood. The third thing that I love about him is that he is very decisive. Because sometimes I can be very indecisive. So it don't take him long— well, he think about what he gonna do first, but he always, you know, make a decision pretty quickly. He doesn't wait and think about it over and over and over again. Um, he really takes out time to think about it, then he makes the decision, he sticks to it. And I love that about him because I'm the opposite, I'm indecisive. So he's really good at being decisive. With. Okay, um, and then number 4, his work ethic. He is very hardworking. Um, he always takes care of us, the family, the girls. But not only that, you know, he do a lot of things behind the scenes that many people don't know about, even myself. Like, everything that he does, he does, um, just for people all the time that I don't know about. It could be something simple as, oh, somebody's car, you know, tire will flat on their car. He'll help with that. Um, and so the last and final thing I wanted to say is, uh, his walk. I love how he walked, y'all. I love his, uh, walk. Yes, I love his masculinity. He is very, um, very authoritative and very assertive, and I love that about him. Um, he is a man to the alpha male, and I love that, right? And so he don't let anybody run over him. He don't let anybody tell him what to do. Um, he's not stubborn. He used to be real stubborn. He came a long way, but he's very, um, confident who he is as a man. And his mannerisms, the way he responds, the way he— you know, when I see him outside on the car, I'll be looking at him, checking him out. Y'all, he look— he look good. So I love his walk. Yeah, yeah. So that's the thing, you know, I'm definitely like, you know, like, you know, love about him even the more. But my top 5 were these right here. So it's your turn.

Okay, well, I got mine because, um, first I like her drive, um, and the obedience with her drive, because the Lord tells her to do stuff and she does. It might take a little bit, but she does. Um, sometimes too too much. I think everything's in a season and due time. And but she takes initiative and she does it. Put it down. Don't put it up.

We have kids, y'all. Okay.

Um, yes, her drive I love, and that's number one. Number two is her joy, because she'll come into a the room or anywhere, and her joy oozes out and it fills the atmosphere. It fills that space with joy. So you can't help but be around her and be joyful. I don't care what kind of day you done had. The Pearly Weiss, that her smile, her enthusiasm, the joy of the Lord just It's so welcoming. And no matter how I feel, she come inside and I do something and she give me that smile. I'm like, yes, thank you, Lord. I needed that. I need to see that joy to get through your day sometimes, refill my joy, because no matter what I'm going through, it's so pleasant to see. I know it's the joy of the Lord, and to see, literally see the joy of the Lord Makes me feel good.

Oh, thank you, baby.

And her faithfulness. Number 3, her faithfulness to what she does. I hear her, you know, speaking and counseling, mentoring her friends, her family, her clients. Her faithfulness to our girls. As a mother, her faithfulness as a wife. It's so great to know that no matter what, she's going to be there and she's going to be doing what she knows to do. Like, I don't have to tell her to do stuff. Like, she just knows to do it. She knows the way my stomach set up. Okay? She knows I like to eat. So she throws down. The faithfulness after a long day doing whatever she's doing to still come downstairs, cook food, have me some food ready for the next day for work.

I love it.

It's just wonderful. The faithfulness. Okay, so far so good.

So far so good.

All right, I'm getting points, y'all. I'm getting points, y'all. Number 4, her beauty. She's so easy on my eyes, y'all.

You are too. Hello.

Mm-hmm. You got them Bambi eyelashes on right now. Like, she be fanning me, y'all. Like, oh, cool me down.

Oh my gosh.

But not only her outer beauty, I was telling her earlier— yesterday, yesterday, it doesn't I mean, no matter what, you just wake up, you redoing your hair, whatever, like the beauty from inside out. God, I mean, we've been together for some time, y'all. This is our 13th Valentine's together.

Together, 13 or 14? This is 13. 13. Yeah, and we've been married, it'd be 12 years in July.

So yeah, so to see her in all different facets From just waking up to working out to ministering to just being a mom, whatever. It's all beautiful. It's all beautiful. It all matters. I take it all in.

Oh, thank you, baby.

And the 5th thing I got is her love. Her love for people, for God's people. Just love. She has a grace with people, and I love that. I aspire to see, I aspire to do better by watching her.

Oh, thank you, baby.

It's very beautiful to see the love that you show other people, not only us, even strangers sometimes. Like, how is she so nice and friendly? I show so much love to people she don't even know. But it goes back to that grace of God.

Yes, God's grace, how he created me. I mean, I would say going back when I was younger, I used to really struggle with— I used to be— what's the word I'm looking for? Not struggle, but I used to get upset because I used to forgive people too easily.

And when we first got together, you were like that.

Yeah, I was like that. That. And I came a long way. I definitely used to be very passive, um, you know, had a hard time speaking up for myself. But my husband helped me with that so much. Between God and between my husband, he has truly helped me to speak up for myself, um. And at times I think I shock him when I do certain things or confront situations.

Yeah, she come a long way because I confront it now.

I'm not going to sit here and play you know, play games with people, um, but you can still love them, you know, and still be assertive at the same time. Um, and so I thank him for helping me to like give me the space to grow. I love the fact that he gave me the space to grow and the space to be myself. He gonna try to be my father, he don't try to sit here and take, you know, over me or over my life, but he truly, you know, stands in a gap for me and pray for me and allow me to make mistakes and allow me to grow. And I try my best to do the same thing for him. Like I said, we've been married for— it'd be 12 years in July, but I feel like it's been a lifetime. I really do. I know that I married my soulmate. I know that I married the man that God has for me because, uh, we both have evolved so much in so many different areas. And now we're parents, we got 2 kids, you know. I've changed, my body's changed, everything, you know. He's changed. And so just giving each other that grace and space to maneuver and to grow. And even when I'm trying to like find my voice and I was growing in my voice and, you know, confidence in that, you know, he allowed me to— even sometimes I would snap on him, like, okay, Kida. He didn't get upset. He didn't say, who you talking to? Or don't get an attitude with me, you know. But he gave you the space to do that. He's very slow to respond. And quick to listen to me, um, and I appreciate that.

That's taking— that's taking the grace of God because, yeah, a lot of prayer. She's, uh, prayed for me a lot for my tongue. Yes. And God's done it, and I appreciate your continued prayers. Oh, I love that too, that she keeps me covered. Yeah, she's my accountability partner.

And vice versa.

Yep, she's my best friend. I love having my wife as my best friend. So she's my best friend, she's my wife, she's my ministry partner, she's, you know, the mother of my kids. It's so many different hats that she wears, but I love each of those hats and she wears them so well. Yeah, and she's strong.

She's beautiful. Yeah, yeah, he fine. He's so fine to me. Like, it's amazing how we first met. I wasn't really that attracted to him at first, you know, nothing against him. It's just I was in a different space, you know, definitely was not in Christ for sure. But it was like God really just revealed to me who he was and like that he was my husband and that You know, he— it's like over time my attraction for him became stronger and stronger, but it's more than just physical, right? You know, it's just the core of who he is, and he's everything that I need, you know. Um, I know for a fact if I had married somebody else other than him, my life would not be the same. I know I would not be able to do all the things that I do and be able to fully walk in what God has called me to, because, you know, not every spouse is very supportive. You know, I counsel with women from, you know, here and there who struggle, and men too. I counsel with men too who struggle with their spouse being supportive and giving them that space to be who they are, uh, with no boundaries, no space to be who they are without being judgmental or trying to change them. So, you know, over the years, you know, God taught me that, hey, you can't change him. Like, he's my son, you know. Worry about yourself. Worry about yourself. And so, um, I let him be him and he let me be me, but we fit, we fit well together.

You right, Aunt Teresa. I appreciate it. She said we complement each other.

Oh, thank you, Auntie. And listen, y'all, my auntie on the live right now who's posting, Aunt Teresa, has taught me so much about marriage. Like, let me tell you, I've had over the years, even before that, you know, women who who sowed into me. Like, um, Bibia is one of them. Um, definitely, um, my Aunt Teresa. Um, those are two main people that God used heavily in my life to truly explain to me and teach me about a healthy marriage and what that looks like. And of course, you know, through Holy Spirit and God himself has taught me how to be a wife, you know, and what that looks like. And so, um, in the next, you know, couple of months or so, we will be doing, you know, um, coaching couples ministry. We started doing that a little bit before COVID but if things got crazy, things got busy. But we are going to get back to that and start really sharing. Because one thing I realized about marriage is that to me and him, what comes off as like second nature or things that, you know, as a couple you should know, does not come easily to to other people, you get what I'm saying? Like, sometimes I'm shocked sometimes at the way, you know, men and women, you know, talk to each other in their relationship. Like, my husband has never cursed me out, I've never cursed him out. Um, even when we upset with each other, you know, we just don't talk. We give ourselves time to kind of calm down, that kind of process our feelings, and then we're coming together and then we'll talk.

Um, but you gotta think before—

yeah, it's all that disrespect, like, from your spouse to each other. It's just so— it breaks my heart to see that because that's not how God created marriage to be. And of course no one is perfect, of course, you know, all of the above. But I know we have so much to teach other people and so much to pour out for other couples, um, learn from, and that's because of the Lord. That's it, end of the day. Mhm. Yep, yep. So thank you guys for your comments. Let me see what you guys saying. Let me pull it— let me pull it up a little bit. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness.

So I look in your own—

I know. So my aunt said something. Okay, love you, Auntie. Okay, okay. Oh, thank you, Jia. I appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, and the joy of the Lord really is my— it is my strength, y'all. Like, on my worst days, he just let me know that I put joy inside of you. Um, yes. Anything else you want to say, love?

Um, God is good. Let me get this.

Okay, he got long arm.

Yeah, God is good. Oh, Delonte, boy, it's been too long.

I know.

Wow, what's going on? Oh my God.

Hey, Katasha. Wow, how you doing?

I don't think Fred on anymore. No. Yeah, yeah. Um, just be genuine with each other. That's all. Yeah, be genuine. Yeah, be honest. No secrets. Yeah, tell her. I'll tell her everything.

Yeah, and vice versa. Like, even if I want to tell them— and the reason why we tell each other everything, y'all, for the most part, is because that stops the enemy in his tracks.

Amen.

Right? Whenever you put a voice to it— like, one of the things that I remember, uh, Overseer— not up here, but you know, our spiritual father used to say— he said he was a daughter. He was like, because he could see me in the spirit, he said whenever the enemy is pushing up against you, the enemy is trying to attack you, you need to tell your husband. Because there's some things that I would get attacked with that I didn't want to share with him out of like, I don't want him to worry or be stressed out about what was going on spiritually with me. And he said, no, tell your husband, because that, you know, when two or three are gathered in your name, what God, you know, God is in the midst. And so he's my covering, and every single time I share something with him, um, that's going on with me, you know, emotionally, whatever, it always like— it just loses its power. Yes, it's power. Yeah. Hey, love you too, Delonte.

Yeah, it's been— yeah, um, it's been great, great so far. Not everything is pieces and cream, and you know, it's personal. Things you may deal with may hinder you or your spouse in a relationship. But yeah, it's just little, little speed bumps, little bumps. Yeah.

And I will say this too, like, you know, in the past, you know, people would, you know, say, oh yeah, you know, a perfect marriage. No, I don't. My marriage is not perfect. We both had to, you know, we were only tall when we got— we were 20. I was 25, 24, and you was 24. So it was young. Oh my gosh, we were so young. So it's like me and him would like do like little immature things, of course. So God had to really prune us and process us. And so I think that, you know, I don't want people to think that we just woke up and we were like this perfect couple. I mean, we're not perfect now. What I'm saying is, you know, you're going to grow, you're going to evolve. There are things that you need to work out in your own life personally and then together as a couple. That makes sense. Hope that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anything else?

Um, spending time together. Yes, communicating, talking each other. That time together to vent. I have a listening ear, so I'll listen to her because I know she didn't get it out.

I'm a talker. I do. I talk a lot sometimes. He listens.

Yeah, yeah, you got to listen to each other and like truly listen. Put your phone down, put your distractions down, because obviously they're coming to you for a reason. So give them good feedback. Be genuine. Uh, yeah, um, take showers together.

Like, that's so—

it's so great.

It's like a time of fellowship. Yeah, it is. Like, like, like, just me and you in the water.

No phone. You can't have distractions in the shower or any of that.

And so really and truly, God speaks to us a lot while we get a shower together. Especially to him. Oh my God, like every time he's been praying for me, God said pray for her about this, pray for her about that, and then vice versa.

Yeah, the Lord speaks when we, when we're that, in that, that time together. Yeah, I've given her plenty of word that the Lord has given me. I just, I'm a vessel, I'm a vessel to the Lord. So whatever she, I might have, and she'd be ready. She'd be like, oh, okay, what is it? She's like giggly, she's like smiling. Then I'm like, oh Okay, get excited.

She gets excited.

I'm obedient, so she knows by now that it's coming from him, it's not me. Um, yeah, yeah.

Nikki said— hey Nikki, my cousin, you guys— said, first time on your live, this is beneficial for people that are even thinking about marriage. Good stuff. Love you guys. Love you too. This is so true because there's other things that I really want to share as we move along this journey with couples and everything that people need to be aware of about marriage. Like, it's just like, I think one of my friends, Yesenia, was on earlier and she did a live about, um, about the show on Netflix called Bridgerton. Oh my God, and she had some good, some good stuff, y'all, that God gave her to share. So that's a good— we're gonna have to watch the show Bridgerton. Yeah, yeah, it was, it was, it was good, it was okay, but it was not realistic. Information about marriage at all, whatever. Hey Dee Dee, how you doing? So yeah, anything else? So I want to challenge other couples to like do a video or a live, or even just do like a post on your, um, on your newsfeed about 5 things about your spouse that you love. Because I know for a fact that during COVID marriages have been challenged like never before. Whatever they were dealing with, whether they had a good foundation or that they had a shaky foundation It really showed, like, during COVID Um, it was— yeah, it showed.

Um, even your favorite, uh, celebrity couples. Yes, they didn't even know each other, been married 17, 18 years. Yes.

Um, yes, I've heard some other— I think, um, you know, no shade to Gabrielle Union. I know she's an awesome actress, but I watched the video, uh, the video she did with Taraji and And she was saying that how, you know, her being home with her husband was different. And now they both travel, you know, they both work, you know, good, good stuff, right? But when she said that, they didn't really know. He didn't— it's like he didn't— like, it was like he didn't really know her struggles from her trauma because she had been raped before at her— one of her jobs, like, many, many years ago. And so she hid a part of herself from him because she didn't want him to see her vulnerable. And I'm like, that's not good. Like, your spouse should see your vulnerability and be able to meet you where you are, right? Um, another couple, Latoya Luckett and her husband, they're celebrities, right? No shade against them, beautiful couple. Um, but I finally had a chance to look at, um, their, uh, some of their videos from T.I. and Tiny on YouTube, but their marriage was not great before COVID Like, they had so many different issues, you guys. I was like, what? Like, I was just in shock of like how he was talking to her, you know, how she was communicating with him. And so I'm just giving you guys examples. Like, don't look at a couple from the outside and assume that they have it all together, because no couple does. And don't covet other marriages, because marriage is work. Marriage is a sacrifice of your time, of, you know, um, your your life, right? Um, marriage is beautiful. I see so many young people, especially in their 20s, who are so such in a rush to get married. And I'm like, we only got married because God said it was time for us to get married. I don't think we first met each other and began to date, it wasn't our intention to get married at the age that we were. We were— I had my own thoughts about, okay, Shakeeta Torres, all right, I'm gonna get married at 30, 35. He had his same thoughts, right? But God had other plans for our life, and so we didn't seek to get married. Whenever we did, it was a God-ordained relationship. Um, and so wait, wait on what God has for you. I know at times it could be difficult, you know, to wait because you get lonely, and I understand, I get it. Not— no judge— no, no judgment here. Um, but wait. Like, it's so much— like, in your waiting, ask God what it is that you want— he, he wants you to do during your singleness. Because like the word of God talks about that a single person can do a lot more than a person who's married. Like he was saying before, I have so many different things, I have a lot of drive, things I want to do, but I have a husband, I have two children that I have to kind of sometimes slow myself down because they're— they come first, you know. When I was single, I could have did a lot more things, but honestly, when I was single, I really wasn't in the things of God the way I should have, and I regret that. I really do. Do. I regret not giving God— I'm fully giving God my singleness because there's so many things that I could have been doing during that time. So I'll let my husband speak some more. He has so much— he has so much wisdom, y'all. He has so much wisdom. Whenever he go to car shows and things like that and these young guys are there and, you know, they're coming to him about their relationship, he giving them like insight and they're like, wow, man, like I ain't think about it like that. Like, why I say he shares so much behind the scenes with people, he, he does if they ask for it, they need it. Um, and so he has so much wisdom when it comes to relationships. Um, and so you have anything else you want to add before we— nope. So me either. Hey you guys, thanks for watching.

No, that's all.

I don't— yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all. That's it. Okay, so until next time, you guys, we'll definitely get on again, um, when we feel led to, to share more, you know, marriage nuggets and to just be real, be transparent. Oh, someone put a post— had sent me a message saying— hold on. Uh, can you discuss balancing time management with work, kids, and household chores? Oh my gosh, oh yes, definitely. Um, so me and him both, we work hard.

We do. Um, she said wait.

Oh, wait. Okay.

Yeah, let's see. Well, okay, time management. All right, so this is what we got going on in our lives. I work 7 days from— uh, I work 7 12-hour days And I'm off for 7 days. When I'm off them 7 days, I got side work that I do— cars, vehicles. I either brakes, pot, or detailing them, painting them, doing the, uh, painting the wheels, um, and then, uh, you know, taking our youngest one to class. And then when I'm working my regular job And she's— you can wait, okay?

She loves the camera, y'all.

Put my hug on Layaway. Um, tell them about yours.

This is her. So I'm literally like, right now I am like over 3 different businesses. So I have Empowered to Share, which is my counseling business. I just launched my coaching business, which is a business me and him have together that's going to also involve like, um, couples counseling and things like that. And I also have, um, Doing It for Kingdom. It's a nonprofit. It's a nonprofit, um, that God told me to start that is going to, um, help survivors of human trafficking. And so with that, I'm the director, I'm the founder. We have a board, you know, I have a secretary, vice president, treasurer. I have a great team, and we meet every single month now. And so I'm having to balance that, balance, you know, all of that, balance taking care of myself, self-care. And then we have two girls, okay?

And then we have ministry.

And then we have ministry. Yeah, we do do a lot, don't we? Then that's Tuesday night. God's grace. Okay. And then the girls are being homeschooled right now because of COVID Like, we were going to put them in school, um, but it was going to be virtual from like 7:30 AM to about 3 PM in the afternoon. And Lord, I just knew. I said, God, this is not going to work. This is not going to work. I need for, you know, things to be a little bit easier for us because I have to work, he has to work, and my little one, she's 5, she's not going to sit still for 5, 6 hours a day. It's not going to happen. So we, um, you know, had to research homeschool programs and we had to, you know, look at different curriculums together. Like, whoo, Jesus.

I give it to her because she did pretty much all that planning of the school stuff.

Yeah.

So when I'm working 5 AM to 5 PM She's getting up, she's homeschooling them, then she goes, she might work out, then she goes see her clients.

Yeah.

Then in the evening she has to take the youngest one to, uh, uh, tutoring on Mondays and Wednesdays, um, because I can't do it because I don't get home in time if I'm on a day shift. Yeah, and then she got to do all her notes for work and all that stuff. So she's up way too late to turn around and do it all again the next day. So if I'm working 5 PM to 5 AM, I can't do— I can't— yeah, by the time I wake up, I might can help them with a little bit of homeschool. Yeah, that they have. And then I gotta go to work. That's about all I have time for. I might be able to work out. So in all that, when do we have time for each other? Yep. Um, the weeks that I work, it is more rough. We don't really have time with each other like that because if I'm working 5 AM to 5 PM, by the time dinner's done, we get the girls settled and down, I gotta go to sleep. I gotta get up at 3:30 or 3:20. So we know we gotta sacrifice. Either I gotta stay up longer than I want, get 4 hours of sleep just to get— but I have to. That's a sacrifice. Yeah, you have to sacrifice a marriage. Yeah, period. Whether it's later in the morning or earlier, or later in the day or earlier in the morning, you have to find that window, that, that time to say, okay, we need to spend time together. Yeah, because the last thing you want is distractions and things that's going to take you away from the marriage. The enemy like that. Oh, I'm gonna put stuff in front of you that's going to take you away from that. Like, oh no.

Yeah.

So then you got to take that time back. No, you got to plan it out or be spontaneous, sporadic, whatever.

Yeah. And as far as our time together, we just mesh together so well. We're very intentional about intimacy. Be very intentional about, you know, checking in with each other, being to each other. When he's at work, we do Facebook messages several times, um, and then we try to at least have a date night at least once a month. But it's been really hard because of COVID because we can't let our kids go anywhere because of COVID right? So for us, like, looking at TV, watching a movie, um, you know, talking to each other, just, you know, just enjoying each other's company.

Allora, so Stop beating that.

I'm content with that. And I know he's content with that too. As far as not having to always be out and about all the time.

You don't have to be out and about to spend time together. You don't have to go out and eat. You don't have to go to the movie theater. You don't have to go out. Like, that's still distractions. Y'all still going to be talking about other stuff around you.

Exactly. As far as chores, Nikki mentioned that, asked me about that too, is that our oldest one, we give her like a little calendar. Of where she has to do certain chores each day, and we give her an allowance for that, right? Hey, me and him, we, um, both do chores together.

Sorry, get out of there.

Like this past week, he cleaned the whole house. He was doing things, you know, here at home. And then, um, like today I said, okay, we've been cleaning up all week, let me come in here and wash these clothes, wash these dishes. So it's not— it's a family approach. It's not all on me, it's not all on him. Uh, every once in a while my mother-in-law will come over here and she'll clean up for us too as well.

Um, so yes, so, and we starting to show the youngest one now how to clean up. Hey, you gotta make your bed, and I show her how to make the bed. Yeah, clean up her stuff, come in here, clean her stuff up. Um, but really it's just, it's a, it's a team effort. Yeah, we're a team, so can't complete the task with one person.

Yeah, and the house is not always spotless. I gave that up. I had like, at one point I was working extremely hard to have the house always spotless. No, we got 2 kids, that's impossible. I mean, for me, now some people can do that, that's their preference, but for us, that's, that wasn't working to have a perfect house all the time.

I mean, just have a calendar with things you want done each day and have whoever you, you would like to have whatever chores on that day so people know when they get up to go and look at that calendar to do those tasks.

Exactly.

Um, but everyone has to be on board with it.

And not only that, a lot of times—

I'm sorry, a lot of times men need to put like their ego down and get out of the Old Testament mindset or old thoughts, like all the women, that's a woman task, a woman need to be doing that, and I'm gonna just take the trash out. And that's extent of what I'm going to do. You got to get rid of that. You got to do everything. So I try to do anything. I'm not a great cook. Okay. Cooking is not my thing.

It's good meat.

Yeah, I can cook some meat, but beyond that, I do anything that she would do and she does anything that I would do.

Right, exactly.

Now I prefer to do the outside things.

Yeah, you the outside person. Yeah, wow. Hey, Paul. Um, another thing too that me and my husband don't do is drama. No, we don't do drama. We won't be involved in a whole bunch of chaos with people. Um, we are strictly about our family and our father's business, so we don't let what's going on with other people like take up our time. When I say that, of course you have— we have friends and we have family that we that we, you know, are there for. That's not what I'm saying. We have a person who's always toxic, always negative, always got something bad to say about other people. I can't, I can't do it. That, that drains me, and he definitely don't like it for sure. Um, so having that balance in your own personal life, it does, it does spill over into, you know, it does spill over into your relationship, into your home.

And everyone don't like to see happy couples. No, it's okay. Yeah, we'll continue to be happy.

Oh my gosh. Well, the way I see it, it's a— I don't take it personal. I don't, because it's only a reflection of where that person is at. And just pray for them. That's all I can do is pray for them. Yeah. So I hope I answered your question, Nikki. Okay, perfect, perfect. We have any other questions anybody want to ask? We're open to it.

Yes, Lord.

Okay, that's it, babe.

I believe so.

Oh my, our hearts and minds. Yeah, it's a delay. I forgot the delay. I say check my inbox.

Yeah, I know there's a delay.

Okay.

Oh, it's a good question.

Yeah, you want to answer that?

Decisions like finances or our kids. Usually if we have— okay, if we have a big decision to make between whether finances, something for the house, vehicles, life, um, I guess we're indecisive on it, how do we come to a decision? Um, we sit and we pray about it first and and wait to see what the move of God does. Like, if we feel drawn to whatever it is, being obedient, it's all about obedience. As the head of the house, as a man, I'm speaking biblically. I don't care about nothing else but Bible. Okay, so biblically, the man is a sayer, the watcher of the house. But at the same time, it's a partnership. So I can't dictate to her everything and expect for her to be submissive and love me without feeling some type of way. So even though I'm the head, I still have to come to her because it's a decision that's going to affect us or the whole house. So I still come to her with whatever that may be. We pray about it, um, and we, we go from there. Yeah, um, not— that may not be how everyone else's household functions, but that's how we function. Um, and it works for us. There hasn't really been any times that it's been something so far where it caused us to have like I like any distress.

So I'm thinking about like examples where we had whatever, like for example, let me think. Um, one time when you first came home and I was like, babe, I don't think you should get this car right now because, you know, we need to save the money for whatever, and the fence, right? Because you thought we want to get the money from being overseas, right? For being able to leave. So, you know, I saw how my thoughts— tell them how I feel, okay? He work, he make the money, okay? Um, I work. And so sometimes we are very— we're very— we give each other room to like get the thing that we desire, but not to the point where we can't pay our bills. It's not like that. But what I noticed over the years, what God does, is like anytime we disagree, and let's say he is the head, if he go ahead and do it, guess what? He feels it. He feels it. Like God allows him to feel, you know, the mistake or feel the decision he made, and then God deals him. Uh, one thing I learned as his wife is that because he is the head and that God has given him authority over me as his wife, like he said, he doesn't own me. But if we come together and like we don't always agree, I said, okay, but I don't agree. But you know what, you know, feel that strongly about it, we'll go ahead and do it, right? It was a wrong decision. He, he learns from it. He learns from it and he turns around and try to correct it. And that God gives him the wisdom to get things right, right? What's the example? Okay, and then he said hearing God, praying. The last time you were going to use, um, money to get it— what was you going to get with the car? Something happened with your transmission. Oh yeah, yeah, that was a big one.

I was saving up money, uh, for a paint booth. Yeah, I was gonna buy a paint booth. Now saving up this money, I had all this cash saved up, and I had enough to buy it, plenty enough to buy it, but the Lord was like, no. Yeah, he kept telling me no, and like, I didn't feel the unction to buy it. So I was like, okay. So July last year, my transmission went out on my car, and all the amount of money I had saved paid for it. It was like darn near the exact amount I needed for to pay for the transmission on my car. So it's about obedience, it's about listening. And that wasn't— that didn't hurt us to use that money for that because it was like it was put away for a purpose that wasn't affecting the household. Yeah. So you have to— yeah, just be obedient.

Like I said before, there's things that he wanted to do that I didn't agree with. And he said, I really want to do it. And so I said, okay. And one thing that God taught me is that he said, you're my daughter, right? He's my son, right? It's order: God, him, then me, right? And so when I share how I feel, tell him what I think, and give him my— what I think he should do, and he did the opposite of that, God, you know, God, God going to deal with him. I'm not going to laugh or anything. I have never lack for anything being submissive to my husband. God has never allowed me to go without nothing to be together. Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. But I had to get in order as his wife, and God dealt with me about that years ago because, yeah, I'm very independent now. Before I met my husband, I was doing my own thing, he was doing his own thing. And so when you come together as one, you have to submit to your spouse. And I hear so many times, you know, when women tell me, or even men, like, you know, feel like, you know, the wife should do everything they tell them to do. That is not true. That is not true. That's not what submissive mean, you know. Submissive mean, okay, y'all come together, y'all talk about it, you share how you feel. He might not agree with it, he might do it anyway, but you trust God over your life. You trust God to come into the midst and be able to work that thing out for you. You. And it causes us to have less, less arguments about anything. Uh, I don't feel some kind of weight. I don't feel insecure. I don't feel scared. I know, I know God got it. And he had to learn. We got married in our 20s, early 20s. Like, I'm 36, almost 37, and he's 36. We 36 and March. March 25th, his birthday, y'all. So, um, so you both had to grow. We both had some growing to do for sure.

Yeah.

Anything else?

No.

So to answer your question, um, Nikki—

Santa Maria.

Yes, Santa Maria.

See, see all them teeth.

All right, you guys, so thank you guys for watching. Um, we appreciate it. We're gonna go because my little one is itching to get in this camera. She loves to be center of attention, she really does. Um, so I'm talking about her head. She rough. All right, so you guys have a good rest of your evening. Have a happy Valentine's Day. Um, you know, share, and we'll see you guys next time.

Bye!