Grief & Faith: The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Welcome to Pain, Passion, and Purpose. I am your host, Shakeeta Torres, where I share mental health education, biblical teachings, and tips to help you to heal on purpose so you can walk boldly in your God-given purpose. This podcast is sponsored by Empowered Purpose Academy, a certified online Christian academy where where we provide services such as certification for Christian life coaches, mentorship for master's level aspiring and existing Christian therapists, mentorship for Christians, and continued education courses for the body of Christ. You can visit www.empoweredpurposeacademy.com to learn more and to download your free guide. If you like today's episode, please subscribe and leave us a raving review so that others can tap into the knowledge and wisdom that will be shared on this podcast. Thank you so much for being here, and I will start in just a moment. Hello everyone, good afternoon to, uh, Facebook and on YouTube. Um, I'm not going to be before you guys long. It's not my plan to any anyway, but it's depending on, you know, how Holy Spirit want to move, what he wants to say. Um, hey sis, how you doing? Um, Maya, my sister, my best friend's twin sister, is on. Hello, Portia. Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Thank you all for being here. Um, if you come, um, late, if you get off, you can always come back to watch the replay. It will also be on my podcast, um, as well. And so I'm going to go ahead and just get into it. And so welcome everyone. Um, by this time, some of you of you guys, um, may not know me. Some of you guys probably do. Those of you who don't know me, I am a licensed therapist. I am a Christian life coach. I'm an author now of almost 6 books, going on like 7, I believe. Um, also, um, I, I'm the owner and founder of Empowered Purpose Academy, where I provide certification for Christian life coaches, a mentorship program, um, books certification courses, and so much more. Okay, so I will, um, put the link in the description for those of you who are on YouTube and on Facebook, for you guys to go back and look at that if you want to. But today we're going to talk about grief and faith. Okay, this is a topic that's very near and dear to my heart. It always has been. But before I go into, to, um, to today's teaching, I want to share with you all the big announcement. So my newest book I just wrote, um, Grief and Faith, is officially available for pre-order. This book here is, um, the draft, and so I'll be working on it this coming up weekend. Hopefully I can get this sent off by the middle of next week. But if you want to pre-order the book, you can also get the ebook for free. So the ebook will be available before the book is, okay? I also have another book. The draft of that book has not came yet, but it's a grief, um, and support for children, okay? So So while I was writing this book, which is pretty thick, it's a book/workbook, I said, okay, these have to be two different books because it was so much information and so much content that this book would have been like twice the size. So I wanted to separate it for those who need additional support on how to help their children, whether you a grandparent, whether you a caregiver, to really navigate through their grief journey as well. And I'll get into that a little bit later, um, on today's teaching. And so yes, it's available, super excited about it. Uh, it's a— when I got the book actually yesterday, it's mad, it's buttery soft. Ah, I love it. Okay, so, um, with that being said, um, I'm also a certified grief counseling specialist, meaning that, um, I took the— I went the extra mile and got, you know, additional training in treating grief. I used to work in hospice. I loved hospice, you guys. I used— I also, you know, work in mental health as well. So I've coached and counseled, and I've done so many workshops for churches virtually, um, in person, online, all that good stuff for organizations, okay? And so I'm very well versed in this topic, and I have a lot of experience personally and experience— experience professionally in this particular area. Okay, before I start, I'm gonna go ahead and go into a prayer and then I'll get into it. All right, um, so dear Heavenly Father, I just thank you right now for, um, this time to be able to just share with your people, um, knowledge, um, tools, education, um, also sharing your heart with what you want them, um, to know, um, during this teaching today. Um, but Holy Spirit, I invite you in. I ask you, God, to have your way. I surrender this space for you, Lord, to just, um, do what you want to do. In Jesus' name I pray, amen and amen. Okay, so, so my prayer. And so one of the things that I still recognize, um, even today through, um, many people and working with them, talking with them, even in my own personal life, some of my friends and everything, is that grief is not, um, doesn't only happen whenever someone passes away, okay? Grief happens whenever we experience a type of loss, all right? And so this workbook, this book that I just, um, wrote, it is geared more towards someone who has died, but the tools in here, um, also can go towards any kind of loss, okay? This book also has a link, um, a QR code to a toolkit that I created, um, for you to have additional tools and worksheets to be able to help you navigate through your grief journey, um, because also I've seen people say, hey, I have a brother or a sister or you know, a friend or someone who's grieving, but they're not ready to go to counseling, or they're not ready to, you know, to talk about it. So they wanted me to have a book also to be able to get— to put them to purchase, to actually give to other people who you see who may, um, have what we call grief symptoms. Okay, so this will be a really good gift for someone who you know need— who needs support, but they may struggle with seeking the help they need because they're not quite ready. Okay. So I want to go over, um, real quickly, um, different types of losses, okay? The number one thing, of course, is whenever someone dies, okay? A friend, a family member, a coworker, whenever an actual person passes away. Um, number two, a divorce or relationship breakup. This is so common. Um, just the other, um, night, um, I had this dream of someone that I know, you know, personally, who was going through a breakup. And the Lord was showing me, you know, what she was going through and to intercede and pray for her. And so in my dream, she would— she just kept saying, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do. She was just so heartbroken. And in my dream, I told her, I said, you know, you're actually grieving, right? And she began to say, really? And so a lot of times we don't, you know, connect grief, you know, along with divorce or a relationship breakup, but you do. You grieve what you have lost, okay? And so it is a process Anytime I counsel anyone who was going through a divorce or relationship breakup, I always pull out my grief tools because I tell them, take out time to grieve, take out time, um, to, you know, go through that pain and process it and talk about your feelings in a safe place, journal and all that good stuff. Because it's so important that that person grieve, especially if you, you know, been together for 5 years, 10 years, it doesn't matter really. I remember very vividly going through my first heartbreak when I was in high school with this guy, and I mean, I really love this guy, okay? We together for 3 years, and I definitely went through that grief, um, process because, you know, we really cared about each other, right? So give yourself permission to grieve. Also friendships, you know, you can have a friendship that, you know, does, you know, might end. It might end well, it might end badly. You can also go through grief whenever you are dealing with a friendship that is like no longer exist, okay? The third thing here is loss of job or financial security. That can trigger grief, okay, due to not having, um, stability, um, and sometimes a lot of people, our identity is tied to what we do, okay? Number 4 is serious, serious illness or diagnosis, um, this can really alter your life. Um, which causes you to grieve the things that you used to do that you cannot do anymore, right? Um, the next one here is miscarriage or stillbirth. This is very common as well. Many women who, um, go through this, um, couples, and oftentimes they can be, you know, grieving in silence, right, because they want to keep it private. But that can definitely trigger, um, grief as well. The next one here is loss of a home, whether it's through foreclosure, eviction. Um, this can be emotionally challenging because this house has so many memories attached to it, right? So you can grieve the memories you had in that home, okay? Um, loss of independence for those who are aging, for those who, you know, go have a disability or illness. I remember my uncle, you know, he's passed away now. Um, he's our family matriarch, and so I remember, um, he end up, um, having MS, and he went from being this strong, you know, independent man who, you know, he drove trucks, had his own house, he was able to go and come and go as he pleased. But then when he, you know, got that diagnosis and, you know, became, you know, sicker and sicker, he couldn't do anything anymore. I could definitely see that he was having a hard time with that. He was irritable, he was frustrated, and I get it. I was so patient with him, um, because I knew that that was, um, very near and dear to his heart because he's the matriarch of our family. Okay, um, number 8, um, natural disasters, um, which is earthquakes, hurricanes. Um, you can lose your home through that, your possessions. I know, you know, I can go back to my area, um, I forgot what hurricane it was. It was two different hurricanes that came to North Carolina and it affected our area, um, very bad. It was flooded, it was completely flooded, like the whole city was just flooded. Um, and so that was very definitely a natural disaster that many people, um, grieve, collect, grieve together collectively. Okay. Um, number 9, end of a dream or goal. Um, failing to achieve a long-held dream or goal can lead to grief in the sense of loss. Um, number 10 is very common, is pet loss. Now I've seen, I've had clients that come to counseling before in the past who would say, you know, my, my pet died, but I feel so silly for you know, being sad. I'm like, why? No, like, that's your— that was your pet. You had a close bond with your pet. And so yeah, it's okay to grieve what you lost, right? Because some people do feel guilty for grieving their pet, and you shouldn't. I have— we have a pet at my house. He's amazing. He's an amazing, amazing dog. If something happened to him, we will all be pitiful, okay? We'll be so sad. Um, number 11, um, relocation. Uh, if you have to move to somewhere else, whether it is, you know, God might send you, you might have went on your own because, you know, you had a job opportunity, but it doesn't mean that you're not going to miss the thing that you used to be a part of. So you can definitely grieve, um, that as well. Number 12, a child leaving the home, um, being an empty nester, they can cause you to have some grief, right? Because you used to having your children there with you every day, or, you know, they're in college, having them on weekend, but eventually they just move, right? So you can be, um, grieving an empty nest. I already covered this earlier. A loss of friendship, uh, retirement, um, loss of a cultural or religious belief. This is very common too. If you used to be a part of a ministry or a church and you have to move on for whatever reason, um, you can grieve this as well. Uh, loss of safety or trust after experiencing a traumatic event, uh, which is crime or betrayal. That can lead to feelings of grief, okay? Loss of health, okay, we already— and then the last one is, um, loss of a mentor or role model, right? It doesn't necessarily have to be through death, but it could be— once again, that kind of fall in the category of relationships, okay? So there's so many different types of things that we can grieve that I know for a fact that many of us overlook, okay? And so I'm very familiar with grief personally and professionally, and so I definitely know whenever I am grieving something. And so for me, you know, what I do is I give myself the space and the grace to have my feelings. I also, you know, you know, take out time. I journal. I take out time to talk about how I feel with my husband or my friends, right? That is healthy. I remember this was like years ago. I think I shared this story before where I had a friendship that ended, and I really, really loved her and cared about her. And, um, I said, God, I'm so heartbroken. I'm like, God, give me the grace grive. Okay, so it's interesting because, um, I say that, um, you know, because probably about 3 weeks ago I went to a women's support group here in my area, and that's what God gave me for them was graced to grieve. So we had like a conversation in a group setting just talking about grief, um, the things they have lost, how to handle it. It was just amazing because they were talking about things they have never shared with anybody before. Because to other people it may seem insignificant. And so I'm a big believer of— I don't like to make people feel less than because of their, their feeling or their experience, or compare, like compare what's going on between, you know, you and somebody else. That's, to me, that's so unfair, right? Or, you know, and so we'll get into some, you know, into that a little bit later during today's teaching, but it happens a lot. It happens a lot. Um, Denise said, absolutely, hubbies and I are empty nesters. Yes, some people seem so happy, but I immediately feel this emptiness. Absolutely, I would too. I got two daughters and I love them. I told them they could be home forever with us, and I mean that. And so I love them. So if they had to move, I would be definitely, um, be upset. Not upset, but I would grieve, right? Okay, so, um, the next part I want to go over the different types of grief, you guys. I'm not going to go over the whole entire, um, all 16 of them. I'm going to pick out 6 that I know are very common, also overlooked, to give you language to what you may be experiencing, um, now or even in the past. So once again, my book, it goes over everything, okay? All my knowledge, my experience, examples, workbook. So be sure to check it out. If you want to get the book, send me a DM and I'll send you the link to get it, okay? All right, so the first one here is called delayed grief. Delayed grief. Okay, this, um, typically happens for many reasons. For one, let's say that you are, for example, a single mom and you're working, taking care of your children, and someone dies, right? You don't have time to like sit here and cater to your own emotions, so you keep going, you keep going, right? They kind of like survive and take care of your family, right? But then if things kind of slow down and you get a handle what's going on at home, in your environment, then you can have what they call delayed grief, when things begin to come up for you later. This is very common, you guys, very, very, very common— delayed grief. So just think about, you know, an example for yourself where you had to keep on going, you didn't have time to kind of slow down. Okay, the next one here is distorted grief. Um, this is defined as a very intense or extreme reaction to loss Um, this can, um, cause you to have like self-destructive behaviors. Um, oftentimes, um, I haven't seen clients like this, but I've had clients tell me, hey, I have a, you know, family member who is like going crazy after so-and-so passed away, right? With the mom, dad, whoever, whoever. And, you know, I tell them, have they going through this, you know, distorted grief? And I see this a lot with people who already have underlying stuff. Or like, um, have, you know, drug addictions, uh, who already have like, you know, past traumas, and it kind of like triggers them and they can go into like thoughts of suicide. They can go into drinking heavily. Um, the family can be very concerned about them, and really all you can do is just like really sit down and talk with them. Um, and like even if you see it later on after someone passes away, it still can be because of that, okay? So definitely, um, keep that in mind. Um, the third one here is cumulative, um, grief. Um, happens whenever you experience a second loss shortly after the first loss. Okay, we call this also grief overload or bereavement overload. Oh my God, I remember years ago I had this woman of God. Um, she had experienced so much loss. Even my mother-in-law to this day experienced, you know, so much loss too. And so with my, my client, her husband had died, her best friend died a few months later. Her sister died a few months later. Um, I think she had a son die, and it was like every few months someone was passing away. That is called cumulative grief, okay? Cumulative grief, all right? Um, the next one here is, um, secondary loss. Um, this can occur— um, let me see here. Okay, we gonna skip that one because it's kind of very similar to cumulative grief. The next one here is mass grief, okay? I see this too, where— okay, I'm gonna give you an example. Like, let's say you had a family member or a friend, um, who died, right? And you might not have had a great relationship with them. And so sometimes people can act like the death didn't affect them, or they're not really moved, and they put on this like front and facade like they're okay when really they're not okay, right? Even, even if like you and that person were close with each other Okay, you can still experience what we call mass grief. All right. So the last one here I want to go over is called collective grief. This happens whenever an entire, entire community or a large group of people experience the same loss. If we look at what's going on right now in Israel, that's a prime example. They are definitely going through what we call collective grief. Okay. Whenever we had, you know, a celebrity died, it's like well known, for example, Kobe Bryant, right? You know, that is definitely a loss that many people experience together because they really love Kobe Bryant. Okay, so this is only the top 6. It's all— it's actually 10 more, but it's— I'm gonna go over all of it today. And so keep in mind, you guys, that grief can pop up at any given moment. When I say that, meaning trigger, being triggered. Um, triggers can be, um, a smell Triggers can be, you know, seeing pictures of somebody or seeing someone that reminds you of that person. Um, a trigger can be, um, you know, hearing a song. A trigger can be anything that reminds you of what you experienced, okay? And as some of you guys know, some of my family's up here. You guys, you know, my mom died when I was 11 in a severe, you know, house fire. It was a tragedy, tragedy, okay? And I look back and, you know, we didn't have like the resources and tools when I was younger, um, to be able to, you know, really deal with our grief symptoms. So I remember myself like crying a lot to sleep because I miss my mom so much, okay? And so, um, you know, then, you know, I can't blame my family, but then, you know, it really wasn't— I feel like children and grief are definitely overlooked, okay? They're definitely overlooked. The way children grieve and adults grieve is not the same. It is not the same with children. They do grieve. Even babies grieve. And so in my other book, um, um, it's called Grieving— what's it called again, babe? Grieving Children. I can't think of the name of my own book. Grieving Children, uh, no, Supporting Grieving Children: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers. Yes. Okay, so that book, I haven't got that draft yet, but also available, um, uh, open to for pre-order. As well, okay? And so I'll get into more of that in just a moment. All right, so like, let's get into really quickly, uh, some coping skills you can, you know, you can do. And then I want to share with you all the word of God, okay? Um, so some skills you can use to cope. Number one is do not deny your feelings. It is okay to say I am sad. It's okay to be a person of faith and say, you know what, God, I'm sad, I'm hurt, I'm in pain, my heart is broken. I do it all the time. Like, if I'm like emotional, something comes up, I'm like, Lord, this— I'm just having a hard time, right? God understands. It does not mean that you lack faith, that you, you know, don't believe that God can heal your heart, because you were admitting that you were in pain. So for me personally, um, I've had one of my aunts pass away. I had an uncle that passed away that I was very, very close to, um, probably— how long it been? Like 2, 3 years? Your brother passed away? Your brother was murdered. I'm sorry, his brother was actually murdered like 3, 3 years, about 3 years now. And that was hard for me because to see my husband and to see, you know, his mom like grieve was very difficult for me. But God graced me for it. Grace to grieve, grace to grieve. But my baby, my youngest one at the time, was 6, and she was very close to my brother's uncle. And my God, y'all, I cried, I wept watching her cry because it was her very first time experiencing grief at such a young age, okay? And so I remember, you know, we tried to prep her. We told her, hey, this is what, you know, you know, Uncle Tim, you know, he's passed away. You know, she want to know how, who did it, why. So we did tell her that he was murdered. So here's the thing about children. Children have great memory. And what I've learned, especially through counseling other people, is that even if the child is, you know, young and you might think that in their mind they can't comprehend certain things, you have to tell them the truth in an age-appropriate way. Let me explain. So I had a client maybe about— this was like last year— and, um, he came because he said, I'm re-triggered because all these years as a little boy, you know, I always thought my dad, you know, died from just life, right? Something happened and he got sick and he died. Well, as an adult, he found out his dad actually committed suicide. That messed him all up. That messed him completely up, you guys. So he had to go back and kind of like revisit it to figure out, okay, why? What happened? Why did my dad do that? I also had a client before, she was a woman. She said, I have not told my grown children how their dad, you know, their dad died. I'm scared. And I'm like, oh my God. Like, she's like, so far no one has actually told them what happened, but I know for a fact it's going to trigger them. And now I'm afraid that I made a mistake by not telling the truth. So it's difficult. It is not easy. But I definitely— we definitely sat down with her and we told her. And she said, Mommy, well, who did it? Now I said, baby, I don't want to tell you yet who did it because I don't want you to be even more upset right now. Right now it's already a lot to kind of take in. Um, but she asked a few more times, but I didn't lie to her. We just told her, baby, we didn't want to tell you, okay? So, you know, we told her, but like even going to the funeral home and seeing him, like it came, like it became very real for her. And she was like, she just looked and she like froze. And then she just like kept asking me, like, Mom— and first like her grandma, Grandma, is that— and she kind of like put two and two together. You know, we told her, we prepared her, she still wasn't putting it together. And oh my God, y'all, my baby lost it. I mean, she was crying hysterically. I had to pick her up, take her to the bathroom. Room. She was clinging on to me. She didn't want nobody else. She didn't want grandma, grandpa. She didn't want anybody. And so, um, she cried. She's still to this day— it's been 2 years— she's still grieving. She is still grieving, um, because she's very vocal about how she feels. Say, Mommy, I miss him so much. I miss going with him to McDonald's. I miss him calling because he, you know, he would call her all the time and FaceTime her saying, hey baby girl, how you doing? Because she's our, you know, our youngest daughter. And him and her really like clicked really well together, you know. And so, um, she told me, Mommy, the other night I was crying because I miss him so much, you know. And so children, they grieve as well. And sometimes as adults, whenever we are grieving, um, we unintentionally, you know, neglect the fact that our kids are going through too. So I've definitely had that happen before where I had a client who, you know, her father had died like 5 years ago. It was, you know, she had a son and she didn't realize how he was grieving because she was so stuck in her own pain. She couldn't see her sons. So I kind of— first, I helped her to navigate some things, right? So that way she can be a healthy parent. She can be in a good place to be able to help her baby, and she was able to, thank God. Okay, so I have so many testimonies, you guys, of helping so many people walk through their own journey with grief. This is why I wrote this book. I didn't write it just because— I wrote it because I know what I'm talking about. I know know my stuff. Okay, um, so back to the coping skills part, I want to say, um, journal. Journaling is great. Um, people— I think when people hear the word journal, I see, oh, it's a chore. Oh, it's just work. Yeah, it is work, but when you journal, you're able to get to the core of your thoughts, get to the core of how you actually feel. And when I do that myself, I definitely am able to get to the core of what's going on with Shakeeta Torres that day. Okay. Um, also do not isolate. Oftentimes whenever we're grieving, we think that we're by ourselves, and we are not by ourselves, okay? Will everybody around you understand what you're going through? No, they will not, because everyone's loss is different. How we grieve is different. Um, it is based off of our own family environment, how we were raised, right? Uh, if you experienced other, um, types of losses before. And so it's so— it's so much. That's why I wrote this book, y'all. This is literally like 8 sessions in one book, if not more. Okay, um, and so grief is so— uh, so it can be so complex. And it's definitely possible to be, you know— okay, my mom died, it's been— I was 11 years old. This has been, God, over— way over 20 years, right? 28 years, y'all. 28 years ago. And so I'm definitely in a much better place, but there are times when I do get triggered triggered. Okay, for example, when I got married, I was triggered because I missed her. I wish she was there. When I had both my daughters, I was triggered because I wanted her to be there. Nobody can take the place of your mother, no matter how, you know, no matter how the relationship dynamic could be. And so I definitely, you know, I was triggered when I finished, you know, I got my master's degree. Like, it's so many— especially in the good moments and the bad moments. But I can say that the Lord has really healed me. He, he can be a mother and a father to you. I promise you that. I promise you, okay? And so, um, like I said before, I'm very familiar, um, with the grief. And so, yeah, so I would say I feel like my husband's in a better place when it comes to his brother, but he definitely has his moments too, too. And so this is his first time experiencing, you know, loss on this level. And so oftentimes he would come and say, hey babe, I feel like this today, is this normal? And I'm like, yeah, it's actually normal. So sometimes we think that the things we think or do or feel might not be normal, but actually it is. I've heard so many different stories about how people say the first 6 months or the first year, it was like a blur. I don't remember anything after that person died because it's like they're trying to survive. And actually, in a study that I read a couple years ago about grief is that most people are not ready to really deal with the grief until 6 months after, right? Um, but sometimes— I had a client one time before he came in, maybe 3 months after his wife had a heart attack at home because his job made him go to counseling, made him go. And I'm so glad they did because he was dealing with a lot. And not only that, you guys, whenever someone passes away, it's so much stuff that comes along with it. So think about the family dynamics. Like, whenever I worked at hospice, you guys, I saw everything, okay? It was like, okay, the person here, you know, they're dying. But then you got family drama, then you got this person mad, this person triggered, this person want the money, this person is like, man, I had to play like the social worker. I had to be the mediator. I had to be the counselor. You know, I had to help the whole family, but I was graced for it. I was so graced for it. I would hear, you crazy to, you know, love hospice. I love hospice. Like, I don't— I just love it. Like, it gave me so much like joy to actually be there for other families during their time of need. Um, I know one time in particular we did have a, a client that was there for maybe like 6 months, and we had grown very close to him. Um, he was, um, actually, um, he was in prison for, you know, he had AIDS. He was actually Muslim, and I saw him almost every day for 6 months at work. And so when he died, it hit all of us. Like, I cried. I was sad like for almost a week because like we had built this relationship with him. I feel like he was my uncle or a family member. He became the family of everyone who worked there, you know. And so, yeah, so, um, grief is a part of life. It sucks, it really does. Um, but I have found, um, and learned that God is with us and all that, and all that. Um, it's okay to be grieving and angry with God. That's, that's definitely very common. Like, oh God, I prayed, I've done this, I've done that, and you still took my, you know, loved one away. And so it's so so many different layers, um, to, um, to grief. Yes, but journaling is very therapeutic. Yes, be true to yourself and feeling so healing can, can begin. Absolutely. Let me look over here on Instagram. Sorry, you guys, I was talking away, just talking away. I'm feeling grief for not being able to be me, so I isolate, work, home, pay bills, cry, pray. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm so sorry. So I definitely be praying, um, at the end for sure. And I am having— I keep forgetting— I'm having a Grief and Faith Workshop on November the 20th on a Monday at 6 PM where people can actually come in. And you know, it's virtual, it is a, it is a charge for it, very low cost, um, and I'll post that link, um, up here too on Facebook. On Instagram is also in my profile. So let's get into the scripture, you guys, and then after that I'm going to pray, okay? So the first scripture that I love the most, okay, when it comes to grief and loss is Psalm 34:18. Says, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted and he saves the crushed in spirit. If you don't think of anything else when it comes to the word of God, go to Psalms 34:18 and remember that God is with you. He's actually a lot more closer then when you're in pain and you're going through than any other time, y'all. Just like now, the world's in a crisis, like, you know, everything going on with the war and everything right now. Like, God is right there. Like, just talk to him. Just talk to him. Like, don't leave him out of your grieving journey, okay? The next thing here that I love, you guys, when I was reading— this was like me years ago reading just about grief, and I first started, you know, doing Grief and Faith workshops. Um, I came across these scriptures that said that, um, in the Bible it says that Jesus wailed 3 different times in the Bible. 3 times, okay? And so one of them, um, I think this is— can't think of the scripture right now. I have the actual scriptures here, but the actual where I got it from, I don't have it, y'all. Sorry. Let me see. But it's about Lazarus, okay? So do you remember whenever, um, you know, Mary and Martha— Martha and their friend were upset because Lazarus had, had died. Now, prior to this, you know, Jesus had a close relationship with Mary and Martha and also with Lazarus, okay? And so he pretty much had died, and so they had asked Jesus to come, you know, to be there to comfort them in the loss of their brother Lazarus. Okay, but Jesus told them, listen, your brother will rise again. And so he meant, I'm coming to raise him up from the dead. But they thought he meant, okay, yes, he'll be raised again, you know, on the day of resurrection. But what got me, y'all, it actually— when I read it, I just, I cried. Whenever Jesus got there, okay, I'm gonna go down a little bit, and he saw that the people were so grieved and they were crying and they were mourning Jesus wept, y'all. He was moved by so much compassion that he cried because he saw their pain, knowing that he was getting ready to raise him up from the dead. And I'm just like, wow, like, he cried because they were in pain and they were grieving their dead brother, even though he knew he was about to do a miracle and raise him up from the dead. So he's the same God today, yesterday, and forevermore. And so if he did that for them, he cried about them and knowing what he was going to do, the miracle for Lazarus. Think about us when he sees us in pain and grieving and going through loss. You guys, I promise you, he cares about all that. I can't tell you how many times I've been through different things emotionally. And you know, I want— it's in our nature to want to shut down, okay? To shut down, right? Shut down, okay? Whether it's with God, with your family, your friends, whoever. But every time I'm, I'm in that place where I'm on like that brink, like, God, I'm just— I'm tired, I'm done, he say, daughter, do not shut me out. He said, talk to me. I can handle all your emotions. If you're angry with me, if you mad with me, if you're sad, Whatever happened, I don't care. Bring your emotions to me. Because what happens is whenever we shut everybody off, that actually gives room for depression, that leaves more room for anxiety, that leaves room for the enemy to plant thoughts in our head about no one cares about you, no one's thinking about you, right? And that's not true. And so I, even time I don't want to talk to God, I have to make myself like, Lord, you told me time and time again if I'm emotional, to bring my emotions to you. So here I am, here I am, Lord, here I am. Okay, and so I want you to go back when you get a chance and like really read that. If you're struggling in your grief journey now, um, whether it's someone that passed away, you know, lost job, everything I mentioned earlier in the different types of losses, if you going through any of that, go back and read the scripture. I might be able to find it. Hold on one second, look at my computer. I can give it to you guys. So this is— oh, here you go. This is John chapter 11, verse 17. I will start there. 17, um, actually, yeah, 17 all the way to 44. So it talks about, you know, everything that happened before and leading up to it. It was a bad odor. I mean, he had been— he, he he was gone for a little bit, okay? He won't like— he didn't— he, he didn't just pass away that day, but he had been, you know, he had died like days before RZA got there. And so yes, I wanted to share that with you all, okay? Let me go back up here to Instagram. All right, so that's all I have for you guys today. Thank you, um, so much for being on and for watching. Um, she can go back and watch the replay again. I have my book, um, Grief and Faith. I know for a fact it will bless you or somebody that you know who may be going through their own grief journey. Um, it's on my, um, Instagram page and my profile. Uh, also it is on my YouTube description box, and then also on Facebook, it's also in the description too. Okay, so Heavenly Father, I just thank you, Lord, for, um, your people. Father, I pray, God, for those who are going through a very difficult season, for those who who, um, have endured loss, God, loss through loved ones and friends, relationships, God, everything that we discussed earlier today during this live. Holy Spirit, I ask you, God, to just invade their space, invade their hearts and their minds, God, with your love and with your presence, Lord. Father, remind them, God, that you are right there in the middle, that you right there in the midst, God, whatever they're going through, that, God, you have not forgotten about them. Holy Spirit, I ask you, God, to just, um, surround them with people who will be able to pick up and discern that they need a listening ear. They may have a need, God, and that they might be afraid to even ask for it. And so, Holy Spirit, I ask you, Lord, that, um, even during this time, even with Israel and everything going on in all the nations, Lord, I pray, God, for them as well. That, God, that, God, you will heal their hearts, God, and that, God, you will be with them. And so, God, we just thank you. We thank you for your word. We thank you for this time. In Christ's name I pray. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you, sis. Thank you, Denise. This is very good. Thank you, thank you. All right, let me see, um, on Instagram. If you guys have any questions before I get off in the next 5 minutes, like, feel free to, you know, post them and I'll try my best to answer. So here's someone put, I'm feeling grief for not being able to do— to be me. So I say, word. Home page was quiet. Pray. So I'm not really sure, Desiree, what your situation is, so it's kind of hard for me to kind of give you like any feedback. I don't know your circumstances, um, but definitely, um, praying for you. Okay, let me see if anyone else ask any questions. So I think that's it on Instagram. All right, so again, thank you all so much for watching. The replay will also be up on all my my platforms, and I will see you guys next week. All right, okay, bye-bye. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. Our prayer is that this podcast episode has blessed you. Don't forget to go and subscribe and leave us a raving review. If you would like to sow into this ministry or to this podcast, Pain, Passion, and Purpose, you can do so at anchor.fm/painpassionandpurpose or Cash App, dollar sign, Shakeeta Torres. Thank you so much, and I will talk to you next time.