Shakeeta Torres, a clinical social worker and life coach, walks through six steps to find your purpose: write your life story, notice what triggers strong emotions, list your passions, seek God through prayer and dreams, set boundaries, and obey what you learn. She turned her own trauma and her mother's death into work fighting human trafficking.
Chapters
Hello everybody, my name is Shakeeta Torres and welcome back to the replay. Um, my name is Shakeeta and I am a licensed clinical social worker, which means I'm a therapist, and I am a certified life coach. And I love to empower Christians to unpack pain, discover their passions, and walk in their God-given purpose. So thank you guys for joining in. For those who are there, um, happy Tuesday, good afternoon. And all that good stuff. And so today, this live is going to be about a specific request that someone has sent to me in my DM, and you know who you are. And I said, sure, of course, I can do a live and teaching on that today. So you guys, bear with me, I have some notes I wrote down today. And so today I'm going to be talking about pain, passion, and purpose. Um, this person wanted to know, could I share some tips and share my story on you know, how I went from pain to purpose. Um, so first of all, thank you guys so, so much for all the encouragement. Thank you so much for, um, your prayers, um, DMing me, um, commenting on my page about my mom's birthday who passed away, um, in '96. Um, that day for me, it was a little difficult, I'm not gonna lie. I was very emotional. Um, but that same night, me and my siblings kind of got together. We did a, um, a whole Facebook, um, video together live, um, the four of us just like catching up, you know, seeing how we feeling and all that good stuff. So thank y'all so much for your prayers and your— for your encouragement. Okay, so I'm excited, you guys. Hopefully you guys, if you're able to, get out some pen and paper, but if not, I'll leave the replay up so you guys can take some notes. All right, so how do you turn your pain into purpose as a Christian? Okay. So I'm coming from a Christian perspective, all right? So, um, first of all, I'll say this: if you go back to my podcast, my link is in my bio, you will be able to hear like intricate details about my story as far as like pain, passion, and purpose. I talk a lot about my childhood trauma, things I've experienced, my passions now, and how I'm— how God used me now as far as my purpose, all right? And it has been a journey. It has been a journey. All right, so you get a chance to go back and check that out. Um, my, my views on that, or listening on that, has increased significantly over the past like 2 weeks. So thank y'all for, for all the support. All right, so how do we go from pain to purpose? All right, so, um, first of all, um, I'm a true believer that we all have purpose. A lot of people that I see who sometimes struggle with depression is because they're not always sure what it is that God's calling them to do. And that will make you feel depressed. It does. Wherever you are, you know, walking and living here on this earth and you feel as though you don't understand your passion or understand your purpose, that will make you feel lost. It does. I've been there before. I've been in a place where I'm like, God, like What am I here for? Like, what do you want me to do? Like, what's my purpose here on earth, God? Can you please tell me? Can you please show me? So, um, whenever I first gave my life to Christ, uh, for the last time— I did backslide a few times in the beginning, you know— I had really— I was very serious about my walk at that point in my life. I said, okay, God, I surrender to you, you know, I'm here, Father, whatever you want me to do. So at that point, I had been to counseling maybe, maybe like one or two times but not really like Christian counseling per se, okay? And so, um, when I told God yes to giving my life to him, it was like he just started digging in me. Not in a bad way, not a bad way. When I say that, he began to really highlight areas in my life where I was still broken, areas that I shouldn't get a healing. And all y'all, it was the journey. Like, in private, God dealt with my heart, he dealt with my pain, he dealt with, you know, things that I had struggled with, my self-esteem. You know, how I saw myself, um, when it came to even the guys I dated, all that. He did all that, okay? Um, and so as I was healing and I truly began to understand God and who he was and who he was in my life, I began to ask him, okay, God, like, what's my purpose? When I first, um, joined a ministry, the very first thing that I did was serve as a, um, as an usher, all right? And I loved it. I was just excited to be in God's house and just to serve his people. Right? And so, but I was in a place where I felt like they really only like push people who were inside the four walls of the church, okay? Purpose is bigger than that, y'all. Purpose is bigger than just being inside the four walls of the church, right? Many of us, God, God has called out into entrepreneurship. He has called many of us out into, you know, our jobs, into, you know, anything that we're doing really can be purpose, y'all. Like, seriously. So anyway, so this is what I want you to do. First, get out a pen and paper, all right? And I want you to begin to write about your story. Write about your life. Write about the things that you've struggled with, things you heal from, even the things that you have not healed from. If you have not healed from it, ask God for strategy. Like, God, you know, show me how can I heal from this. He might tell you to go to therapy. He might tell you to see a life coach. He might deal with you one-on-one and begin to heal you and show you areas that you still need to have counsel on. Because I'm telling you right now, if you do not take out time to heal, and as God begins to elevate you in purpose, it will show up. It will show up. I've seen it happen so many times. The people who were so, you know, in a hurry to like go into purpose and do what God called them to do, but they end up hurting other people. Hurt people hurt people. I don't care where you work at, I don't care what kind of job you in, you you will hurt other people. And then also I see people who are in purpose, but because they have not healed, they have a really, um, they have a hard time with, uh, setting boundaries. Okay, so let's say for example, I say for— okay, for me, okay, so I have a history of childhood sexual abuse, right? So like, let's say a client comes to me and they, they're dealing with the same thing, right? So if I'm not careful, I can let my emotions, I can let the things that I've been to, I've been through you know, steer me and dictate how I help them, and not being led by God. So when you're operating in your emotions, in your flesh, you're operating in what you think they need, and you end up trying to save them from everything. And you cannot do that. You cannot. God taught me long, long ago that one man sows, one man waters, and God is the one that brings the increase. Okay, so I had to apply that to my own practice, to my own life, and I had to learn how to set boundaries with myself, with my emotions, with my time. Because if you don't, you will end up working harder than the other person. Okay, as far as, as far as me and my— and what I do. And so God doesn't want you to do that. You are not anybody's savior. Like, you would end up becoming that person's like idol or their God, because they will always go to you for the answer. But our job is to steer them back to Christ, back to God who has all the answers. Like, we know in part, we see in part, but God knows everything. And for a season, you know, God will have you, you know, be there for that person and be, and be, you know, a voice for the, um, for him, for them, for a season, not forever. Okay, so please keep it in mind. Please take out the time, time to heal, y'all. I am also a person who's been in ministry before with people who have hurt me time and time and time and time again. Some of that is because of my own stuff, you know, having mother wounds, father wounds, feeling abandoned, feeling rejected. So I look for that in other people who were not equipped to help me with that. All right, but then on the other side of that, there are people who I was under, who I was serving with and serving under before in ministries, who who hurt me because they were hurt, because they had been through their own pain and didn't take out time to, you know, heal, see a counselor, um, talk to God. God, y'all, God will show you the areas that you need to work on if you just take out time to listen. All right, so speaking of listening, I get to that in a minute. All right, so like I said before, write down your story, write down the things that, you know, you've been through— the good, the bad, and the ugly. All right, uh, will it be hard for some of y'all to do that? It will be, to be honest, it will. So as you're writing, pay attention to what makes you angry. Pay attention to the things that make you like feel fired up, um, the things that make you cry, the things that make you want to go help and do something about it, right? Those are typically the areas that God is calling you to, right? But if you know that you haven't healed from it, once again, take Take out time to heal from it, all right? Um, write it down. Write down everything that you're feeling, you know, your emotions, right? Okay, so far as your passions, those are your passions. Okay, so on the next sheet of paper— by the way, poster board— I have a poster board right now in my, um, in my office upstairs where I write down everything, like my visions, what I see, what God is telling me as far as like, you know my purpose and things to do in the next season. All right, so do the same thing. So write down, um, your passions, right? And it doesn't always have to be something big. It could be something very small. Like, for me, like, I like doing hair sometimes. I like doing makeup sometimes. I mean, there's so many different things that I'm passionate about, but I do know that we cannot operate in them all at the same time because we're going to be overwhelmed. We're going to be overworked. And God wants you to, you know, focus on one thing at a time, and then he'll continue to build on that as you, um, as you continue to grow, grow in him, grow how much you can handle, right? So write down all your passions, everything that you, you know, enjoy doing, whether it's in church, outside of church, whatever, working with kids, teenagers, working, you know, in school, wherever you work at, whatever you're doing, just write it down. Like, don't even think about it, just write it, okay? And so then once you do that Go back to your list and like compare the things that God, you know, that God is highlighting to you, or you feel like you like, you know, feel drawn to, okay? And you will start to see how some of those things kind of like line up. You'll see it. I had to do the same thing for myself. I'm like, wow, God, everything that I've actually endured or been through is what I'm actually called to do, okay? Oftentimes we think that, you know, things we've, you know, been through in our past, like God can't use it, but he can. All right, he can use it. He can use every single thing you've been through for the building of his kingdom. All right, so what is purpose? So number one, as a Christian, our purpose is to know God, to love God, and make his name known here on the earth through the things that we do for God's people, for people in general actually, because people, whether they're Christian or not, people because God desires to bring all men to him, right? Okay, so that's our number one purpose. And Jeremiah 29:11 says that God had the purpose for all of us. He knew that before we were even born what he had for us. We are not a mistake, okay? Uh, some of us have been born into, into families for, you know, who had affairs, or what, you know, them mom and dad didn't want them, and you've been adopted. But honey, you were not a mistake. All right, I can definitely relate to that. You know, I shared my pockets about how, you know, my mom— you know, I'm the oldest of 4, and it was a season in her life where she was going through a very difficult time. I'm not sure what she was going through, but she gave me away to a family member for like a year. Okay, and I was so sad. I'm like, my mama don't want me no more. Like, what's going on? Like, she don't love me. Like, what's wrong with me, right? So many of you have been through some of the same things. With caregivers and family, you know, feeling like you don't belong, like, you know, the black sheep. I'm right here with you, girl. I'm right here with your brother. Exactly. 1 Timothy, um, chapter 2, 3 through 4. Yes. Okay, Dr. Moore says yes, girl. Sticky notes, sticky notes, love those too. So, um, purpose, back to purpose. And so one of the things that, um, I did over the past, like, decade is I write. All right, um, I had dreams and visions all the time. Um, I was a little girl, I had dreams and visions all the time, but then I didn't really know what they were, okay? It was like I would have like those like déjà vu moments, like, God, I've seen this before, like, I've been here before, like, what's going on? I don't understand. So I went through a season where I was in the world, I was doing what I wanted to do, okay? And I would have dreams in here and there, but they were kind of vague. But when I finally gave God my yes and decided to serve him, it was like my dream life blew up, okay? I would have like 3 or 4 dreams every single night, okay? And so I am a seer, okay? Seer is a person that has dreams and visions, and they have a prophetic anointing with a prophetic mantle, and God uses it to, um, to help you to see your own stuff, your own life, and also help you, but to help you to mention to other people, okay? So that's a whole topic by itself. It's a whole teaching, okay? I can go into that, but as to today, it's pain, passion, and purpose, okay? Stay in focus. So, um, ask God to show you. So I'll begin to write, God, what's my purpose? God, what do you want me to do? God, I desire to know your will for my— I mean, I got journals right now that I went through last night that I was like, wow, God, I've came such a long way. You have really like, you know, revealed yourself to me. You have revealed your purpose for me, right? And, um, whatever comes to you, write it down. Sometimes you can be driving and Holy Spirit might put it in your spirit, right? If you can, pull over, pull over. I did that before. Write it down. Um, God may use a friend or a loved one or a stranger or your pastor or whoever to say, you know what, I see you doing this, or I see you doing that, right? Write it down. Ask the Lord. Uh, if you are a dreamer— if you don't dream, ask God to give you dreams. He will give it to you. And so for me, most of my stuff came through my dreams. At the time, I had no idea what a lot of it meant. So I'm gonna give you one dream in particular that I had— I remember having. So at this point in my life, you know, I have— you know, I had decided to go ahead and, um, pursue being a therapist. And I was like, okay God, like, what do you want me to do next? Because either I'm gonna, you know, continue to do therapy once I get my license, or I'm going to like go work, you know, on base somewhere, or another agency, whatever the case may be, right? And so I'm like, God, can you please show me like what it is that you want me to do? And so, uh, one of the first dreams he showed me was like a woman. Actually, I knew this person. I knew her life. I knew what she had been going through. We had went to college together and I was like in the office setting and this young woman, and she's a woman now, she was a teenager then, was in my office and she was naked. She was naked and talking to me. And I was like, why is this girl naked? So I had to go before God. At the time I had like a dream journal to help you kind of interpret some of your dreams. It is Bible-based, by the way. And naked means this vulnerability. So she was being vulnerable with me and I was counseling her. And so God was showing me like, I'm calling you to work with women who are broken, women who need healing. So I'm like, okay guys, I wrote that down. Okay. And so then I had one other dream before where I was somewhere at some like, some like shopping center buying an outfit, buying clothes. Okay. And, um, a woman was in there. I was actually ministering to her, and she was crying. I was crying with her. And then my dreams had shifted, and I saw this huge golden bridge. It was so beautiful. It was— oh my God, I can still see it right now. It was, it was huge. It was gold. It was like, it was just like diamonds and stuff all over the bridge, okay? So I was like, God, what is this? So I had to, you know, sit with God. I had to research it, figure out, you know, what does the bridge mean, right? And so the bridge is like you crossing over into something. And so what God was telling me was that I'm going to use you to help women to heal, and they can, you know, cross over into a new season into their life, right? Into the identity. Okay, so it's layers to it. It's layers. Okay, I didn't get full revelation of everything all at one time because it will overwhelm you. It will. And so ask God for dreams, ask God for vision. Who has put— I'll always have a notebook next to my bed for when I have prophetic dreams. Yes, I put it, I put the date and time. It's so useful. Yes, right? So this is what I use for my— so for a long time I would use like, uh, paper and pencil to write in my, in my journals. Um, but over the past 3 years I've been using this app called Journey. Um, because, um, you know, in the morning time you get up, sometimes you don't have time to write down your dream in your journal. So I didn't want to forget what I saw. So, um, when I would get to my office, I would sit in the parking lot for a good like 15 minutes or so and just write down in my, um, in the app everything that, um, I dreamed the night before. Or just journaling in general, just talking to God and sharing my heart with him, or sharing with, you know, whether it's good or bad, whatever it was. And so, um, I would do that because my notebook would either be at home or in my car, in my office, and I didn't want any distractions either. So I put it in my, um, my app called Journey, and I actually end up paying for the app so that way it can sync. It can sync to my desktop and, um, it can sync to my phone. So I can like do it on my computer if I want to now. I can do it on my phone, and you can add tags to it. Like let's say you had a dream last night about fish. Okay, you can put a tag for a fish or a tag for whatever it is, you know, but you want to title the dream so then you can always go back to it. You can look for that tag and it would tag— it would show you all the dream dreams you had with the tag on it. Um, also, as she said before, date it. Make sure you date your dreams. Date what God is showing you. Okay, um, another tip I wanted to add Oh yeah, in the app Journey, I love it because every 30 days it gives me like a, hey, you know, 30 days ago you had this journal entry. And I go back and I'll read it, and it really does encourage me because it reminds me of what it was, um, that God showed me. Um, then, uh, you can also, it'll say like, you know, like 3 years later, like a year later. It's amazing, like, to see here in your phone say, look at this, uh, journal entry from 3 years ago. Oh wow, God, I remember this dream. Okay, God, I'm, I'm there with you. So it's amazing. So, uh, for some of you guys who are joining now, I'm talking about, you know, pain, passion, and purpose, and how to really, um, truly discover that. Um, now obedience. Uh, number 1 of the number 1 things that I see with clients that I have, and people in general Sometimes, you know, God, he will show you and tell you what your purpose is, but you won't move. You won't move because you're afraid. You won't move because you're fearful of rejection. You're fearful what other people have to say, you know, all the other good stuff. And I get it, y'all. I've been there. I have— I've had to do my own, like, work and my own process, okay? You know, because God has need of you. God has need of me. There's like— there's enough room for everybody. It truly is, okay? Um, so be obedient. And if you struggle with that, you know, seek counsel, seek support. You know, I'm a life coach, you know, I'm a therapist, a life coach. I, I'm able to see anybody in the world. I have a link in my bio, you can check it out if you want to. Um, we have friends, um, there's plenty of Facebook groups that are Christian-based that talk about purpose and encourage you. So get around people who are like-minded. You know, you can't like continue to be in the same environment if you're somewhere where you don't have that support that you need. But I also understand that, you know, people have been through a lot when it comes to like trust and trauma and anxiety and depression. Those things can hinder you from, um, seeking support. It can hinder you from walking in your purpose. That's why— that's what I do, okay? I help clients who deal with depression, anxiety, childhood trauma deal with things from the past so they can like launch out and do what God's calling them to do. All right, so those are my tips for pain, passion, and purpose as far as like how to, you know, kind of like maneuver that. You guys, it's so much more to it. It is. But there's no way I can go over every single solitary detail of pain, passion, and purpose. Everybody's journey is different. Everybody's situation is different. Their environment is different. They're different people. I believe God can use anything. He can use anybody. He can use you wherever you are. Um, you know, I'm very open-minded when it comes to the things of God. A lot of people are not. They feel like God's in a box, and he's not in a box. So even with that, you know, ask God to like expand your mind. Um, I would say for me, for a long time, you know, I thought that ministry for me would be more so like in church. And it is, because like I'm a part of the body, so I'm a part of, you know, Christ's body. But I wasn't— I'm not called in this season to be, you know, in a box, like in the four walls. God has called me out into the marketplace. And so, you know, I'm a counselor. I'm also a founder and president of a nonprofit that is geared toward education about human trafficking. So I do that. But here's the thing about having multiple things going on like I do now. Pray for me. Um, is that God is only going to give you what he can trust you with. So if he said, okay, I want you to do XYZ, and you can't even do that, it's going to be hard for him to trust you and give you more, right? So when you guys see people who are in ministry who, you know, who you know are anointed, you know God has called them, and you see them doing all these great things, know that one, it came with a cost. Two, know that it was a process. It didn't just happen overnight. God, they had to prove themselves to God that God could trust them. They had to prove themselves to God that they can handle, you know, they can handle it. And, you know, we all at some point get, you know, discouraged or overwhelmed. That's why we need community. That's why we need, um, you know, people to encourage us. And so, um, that's why I post what I post on Instagram, like, because I want y'all to be encouraged. I want y'all to know that, you know, um, you know, God cares about you and God loves you. He desires to have relationship with you. You don't have to look for people to affirm you. And we all desire to be affirmed. We all desire that to some degree. But is it crippling you? Is it causing you to, you know, put all your trust into man and not into God? Because these things on earth, y'all, it's gonna pass away. Now, I was just in prayer this morning. Yesterday I had kind of like a little rough day. I'm not gonna lie, this thing was coming up left and right. I'm like, God, like, whoo, can I catch a break? And, um, I had to really sit with that. I'm like, God, why am I frustrated? Like, what, what's going on with my, you know, how I'm feeling right now? And I don't have those kind of days often, and when I do, I have to really sit with myself and just talk to the Lord. And, um, and this morning I was just in prayer. I'm like, you know what, these things that are frustrating me, no, no ma'am, no sir, it has to go. It has to go because it's going to pass away. It is not going to make or break what it is that, you know, God has for me to do. And the same thing for you, you know, is what you doing, is it going to make or break what God is calling you to do in your life? Okay, so those are, you know, my top tips for, um, pain, passion, and purpose. I do have my ebook in my link called Pain, Passion, and Purpose. If you have a chance, you know, you can go download it. It's free. It's kind of like what we kind of like went over today, but a little bit more in depth. I'm like 3 pages long. It's not long at all. It's an easy, easy read. Um, if you have any questions, um, even now or later, um, in the replay, just ask me and I'll be more than happy to, you know, answer your questions if I can. All right, um, so that is all I have at this moment. Um, but yeah, I definitely have some more content that I want to like share with you guys. Um, but I— today I had— there was a request from somebody that, um, asked me in my DM. I said absolutely. Um, for those of you who really want to operate in the things of the Spirit and the things of God, I encourage you to read 1 Corinthians chapter 12. I did forget to mention that, um, about the gifts of the Spirit. I also have a podcast episode called The Gifts Are Without Repentance, okay? It's a short listen, it's about, what, 10 minutes long, and I talk about the gifts of the Spirit and how people can still operate in those gifts and their lifestyle not line up with that, but also talk about how it can affect people who have, who have a pure heart, who wants to truly serve. Okay, so my podcast to me is good content. All of them are short because I know that, you know, people, uh, I know for me I had to get straight to the point. I don't like any fluff. Like, just give me, give me the meat, what I need to know so I can go home about my business. I got stuff to do. Okay, so I try my best to keep things that go over short, but if it's not short, know that it's meaty. It's going to help. Um, so thank you guys again so much for watching. If y'all have any questions, let me know. Same way with everybody. Wave hello. So those of you just getting out, Miss Sweet, Miss Sweet 718, thanks for joining. I am about to go off. But you can watch the replay. It will be up, it will be up. All right, so until next time, I will see you guys soon. Bye!
