How Unforgivess Affects our Mental & Physical Health!!!

Hey you guys, welcome back to my YouTube channel. My name is Shakeeta Torres and I am happy to be back before you all again today. And so also I want to say welcome to the Faith and Mental Wellness Podcast. Thank you all. Thank you to all of those who come from week to week to hear the episodes. If you're on YouTube and you're not aware of this podcast, please, um, you know, plug in www.faithandmentalwellnesspodcast.faith where you'll be able to see episodes from past guests I've had, episodes I've created. Um, it is a vision and a part of the Faith and Mental Wellness brand where I have a directory where I have the podcast. We have a summit, which I know for sure that I'll be doing again in the future. Okay, so I love that brand. It has blessed so many people, and the Lord has called me specifically to create that for the body of Christ. And so again, um, welcome to those who are listening to the podcast now. Thank you so much for being here. And so originally, I was going to only record this episode today just for the podcast But before I hit the button, the Lord said record it live, right, on video, so that way I can put it on YouTube. And also I will be, um, putting it as reels and shorts on all of our social media channels, okay? Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and the list goes on, okay? So I'm trying to, you know, be wise with my time, and I'm really be a good steward over what God has given me. Okay, so with that being said, as you can see by today's title, it is called How Unforgiveness Affects Our Mental Health and Our Physical Health. If you came on to hear, you know, my episode on last week, um, the Lord had me to do a live called Are You— How Are You Coping? How are you coping with the fall of many leaders that are happening right now in the body of Christ? The Lord has been warning us now for about 2 years, if not more, about what was to come, and the time is actually here. But the Lord also let me know that so many sheep were going to be scattered, okay? And for me to prepare for you all, for those of you who are scattered, okay? And so my perspective on this is, is so many— for me, it's coming from so many different angles. Um, first, you know, God's giving me his perspective, his heart. His heart is for Christian leaders who are falling to be restored. And to have a righteous fall like King David. And then on the flip side of that, he's concerned about the sheep— those of you who are hurt and disappointed about what's happening because you love these leaders. So now you are literally on the verge of operating in unforgiveness because of pain, hurt, disappointment, and the list goes on. But the Lord has asked me, daughter, catch my sheep, okay? And so you can go back and hear that whole video, um, last week, um, but the key thing he told me is the thing the enemy is trying to attack the body of Christ with now is unforgiveness. Unforgiveness. And we hear that word thrown around so much, right? We hear it thrown around in, you know, ministry or, you know, social media. We, we hear the word, but I don't think people really fully understand sometimes the magnitude of what unforgiveness does to us and to our soul and to our heart and how the enemy will use that to cause you not to make it into heaven. You can't make it into heaven, you guys, with unforgiveness in your heart. You can't. Um, you can look at scripture, you can see, you know, what the Lord says about that. I'm not going to go into all of that today, but today I'm addressing how it affects your mental health and your physical health. But before I get into that, I want to share a little bit more with you my testimony, my testimony about how God had to start dealing with me about unforgiveness early on in my walk with him. One thing I love about God is, you know, I share my story time and time again on my other podcast, Pain, Passion, and Purpose, um, about how, you know, I came to Christ. So I came to Christ in '08. Like, I had my whole life was just transformed, you know. I got saved when I was like 12 years old, then over time I went back into the world, um, and so much more. So during that time period, honestly, I was running from God. I knew God wanted me as his daughter, okay? He wanted me to serve him, but I really thought that the world could offer me more than what God could. And so in '08, you know, I knew that in my heart and mind that once I did surrender to God, I was all in. There's no halfway from— from with me. Either I'm in with someone or I'm out. And that's how I felt with God. I'm like, God, I'm not going to do this thing halfway. I don't want to be a lukewarm Christian. I want to serve you with my whole heart. And so in '08, the Lord, you literally janked me up, and he He just wooed me, and he just— oh my gosh, that was an amazing and beautiful experience. I'll tag the video at the bottom so you can, um, not video but the podcast episode, so you could hear my testimony about how God jacked me up. Okay, so, um, I remember it was '08. So fast forward, um, I call the beginning phases of our walk with God that baby phase. And so for me, during those first few years, the Lord was wooing me, loving on me. It was just like bliss. Oh my God, I'm so in love with Jesus. And you know, as I began to mature, he began to really deal with the issues of my heart and my soul. Now, he began doing that from the very beginning, but it was in stages. And so I remember around this time, it was maybe about 2013. Guys, I might say that year a lot, but those years, like I said before, were years where God really dug deep into me. Like deep, deep, okay, deep, deep inner work, okay. And so long story short, I was in Georgia. My husband was in the military at that time, and my oldest daughter at that time, who's 13 now, she was— how old was she? Wasn't even a year old yet, okay. And I had this dream that I was like somewhere, let's say— I can't remember where I was exactly in my dream, but I remember like standing on the side, and then, you know in front of me was this huge body of water, okay? And there were so many boats that were coming, and the boats were coming to get me and the people who were standing by the side. But it was a person that was like showing us like who can get on the boat and who could not. And at the same time, I looked into the sky, I could see God's hands like covered the whole entire sky. His hands were so huge, you guys, okay? And so, um, I remember, you know, the person was like, you can't get on the boat. And I was like, why can't I get on the boat? I was like so confused, you know. And so I woke up from a dream and I pursued the Lord like, God, what are you showing me, Lord? What are you showing me? He said, you have unforgiveness in your heart. You have unforgiveness in your heart. And I'm like, really? And now I'm a kind— I'm a nice person. And it's because you're a kind and nice person, it does not mean that you don't have flaws. It does not mean that you don't have issues in your heart, in your soul. So please don't think that because someone is nice, because you're nice, that you don't have issues. We all have things that God is constantly, you know, chipping away at in us, okay? And so I'm no different. And so with that being said, um, I'm like, God, like, show me, like, who are the people that I haven't forgiven? And he told me. He told me each person that, you know, I had unforgiveness in my heart, and he actually gave me strategy on what to do about it. And so some people he just told me just to pray for and to release them, um, you know, release myself from them through, you know, through prayer, like making declarations, right? Reading the word of God, studying about what unforgiveness is, what it looks like, how it shows up, and so much more. And so he had— I had one particular family member who I was close to but the Lord showed me you, you have unforgiveness towards her and she has unforgiveness towards you. And I'm not going to go into great detail about it, it's very personal. I don't want to, you know, expose this person, but he told me, I want you to write her a letter and I want you to let her know that you forgive her and really share your heart with her and really share with her how she actually hurt you, okay? And so I'm like, Lord, I know that she's not going to want to listen and she's gonna like, you know, accuse me still. And it was— it's not about her, it's more so about to you right now. And so I did, y'all. I sat down and I typed out this whole, you know, letter. I did it on my computer, I believe. I believe, yes. And I sent it to her. I sent it to her, and lo and behold, you know, she sent me a message back, you know, accusing me, saying these different things, like sharing her heart. But I could tell that she was not receiving, uh, what I had to say. But that was not up to me to make her receive. She had to make a choice too. And so since then, you know, I've let her go. You know, when I say let her go, meaning that I don't hold any unforgiveness in my heart towards her. I love her very dearly and so much more. So like, that was like when God began to truly deal with me. I also was a part of a dance ministry during that time, and it was about 8 of us. It was a mixture of guys and girls. You know, here I am, I'm like 28 at this time, and everybody in the group were around the same age. It was so amazing. And so I was a part of a, um, a ministry, a mom team, and I loved it. I absolutely loved dancing, okay? And I still do. I don't do it like I used to because I don't have time, but I did spend a season where I used to dance. I used to choreograph dance, um, I used to help other people choreograph their dance. I led a dance ministry before, during that season as well. It was powerful, it was amazing, okay? But one of the songs we danced to was called A Heart That Forgives by Kevin LeVar. Now, I joined that ministry after I did my work, okay? And I understand what God was doing. How can I help someone else to overcome something, to defeat something, if I'm not willing to do the work myself, okay? And so the ministry I was a part of, we had 3 services., and we dance every— I want to say second Sunday at all three services, okay? And you guys, we fasted, we prayed. When I say breakthrough for people, my God, people were receiving so much breakthrough. Even the dancers, like, some of us couldn't even finish the dance out because it was just so powerful. I used to have a copy of the dance on— see, on the— on DVD. Where it— where is it at? I have no idea. I don't know where it is, okay? Um, but it used to be on YouTube by one of the dancers, but I checked again recently and I believe he took it down. But I am going to reach out to him to say, hey, do you still have a copy of that dance so you guys can see it? Because it was powerful, okay? And your girl was on fire. I'm just gonna say that. God had really anointed me during that season to really dance and really also help my peers as well. Okay, and so we danced to that song 3 different times, and then after that it became a highly requested song from other ministries, other churches, while we were in Georgia. And we would travel together and dance together, and it was amazing. You know, my husband was there with the baby on his hip, you know, supporting me like he always does, always supporting me, you guys. I'm always supporting him. Okay, and so, um, yes. And so since then, even after I moved back to North Carolina, um, I danced to that song a few other times at other ministries too, and it was powerful. I still know the whole dance. I know it by heart. It's been well over 10 years, you guys, okay? So I wanted to share that with you, that this is something that I'm not just telling you to do because I— because I walked it, okay? And fast forward to today, unforgiveness can try to, you know, kind of come into your heart at any given time, okay? And it can be very sneaky and very deceptive. So this is an area that I try my best to keep before the Lord because I know how sneaky the enemy is, and he wants us to be bitter. He wants us to be weighed down. He wants us to be consumed by what she did, by what he did. And you guys, if you really think about the fruit of unforgiveness and what it produces for us, that should be enough for you to say, you know what, God, I want to be free from this. I don't want to hold on to this in my heart because it hinders your blessings, it hinders your ministry, it hinders your mental health, it hinders what it is that God wants to do in your life, okay? Okay, and so today I'm going to just share with you some tips, but I had to share some of my story so it can really hit home for you. I don't want to see you burning down. I don't want to see you, you know, holding on to this and becoming bitter. And then, you know, not only that, you know, it hinders your relationship with God. And so whenever, you know, I'm in prayer, you know, as a person who's an intercessor who prays for so many different things that God shows me, you know, we have to also pray for ourselves, okay? Because it could be exhausting I'm gonna be honest with you, it could be exhausting at times praying for other people because it could be— it could be a lot at times. For me it is anyway. So I have to pray for myself. I have to pray, God, you know, if anything in my heart where I'm holding on to unforgiveness, please show me. People who have offended me, I'm praying, Lord, help me to release them. God, I release them unto you. God, I bless them. God, I have to pray for them as well. It helps to keep my heart free because I recognize that the enemy is working Okay, we're not battling with flesh and blood, we're battling with principalities, spirits, you know, unseen forces, and so much more. So the enemy is always working over time to plant seeds in our heart, and offense and unforgiveness also is at the very, very top. Okay, because from that unforgiveness, as it continues to like become deep-rooted in your heart so many other things trickle down from it to destroy your life and destroy your spirit, your, your spiritual man. Okay, so now I want to transition into sharing with you how unforgiveness affects your mental health and your physical health. All right, so I'm not going to take long. I'm going to just share with you a few tips that the Lord, um, gave me and what I researched. Okay, so first and foremost, um, there's so much research out now that has done studies to show how unforgiveness affects us mentally and physically. There's articles from Harvard Health Publishing, National Institute of Health, American Heart Association, Anxiety and Depression Association of America, the Journal of American Medical Association, and it's like 10 more up here. I'm not gonna read all those, but just know that this is real research, okay? This is not anything that's been made up, but it's research, okay? So the very first thing that it can cause is, um, increased stress hormones. Unforgiveness keeps the body in a state of chronic stress, leading to the continuous release of cortisol and adrenaline. This can elevate your blood pressure strain the heart, and weaken the immune system. Research shows that chronic stress from holding on to grudges can lead to conditions like hypertension and heart disease. Okay, it also can cause inflammation. Holding on to unforgiveness can cause persistent inflammation in the body. Chronic inflammation is linked to serious health conditions such as cardiovascular diseases, diabetes, and autoimmune disorders. When we harbor resentment, our body's inflammatory response remains heightened, exasperating these conditions. Okay, so it mentioned here also resentment, and it does cause your heart, you know, to raise up, cause you to have anxiety, call your system literally to be overworked because you can become triggered thinking about the person who have offended you or hurt you, disappointed you, and so much more. The second thing here is can cause anxiety and physical symptoms. Unforgiveness often leads to anxiety, which manifests— what I just said physically is increased heart rate and elevated blood pressure. The— this heightened state of anxiety can increase the risk of heart disease. Studies indicate that individuals who struggle to forgive are more likely to experience cardiovascular problems. So also, there's an article I read a few years ago that said how at one point doctors wanted to make unforgiveness an actual diagnosis, okay? And honestly, I think it should be, because that is truly the core of a lot of things that we deal with mentally and physically and spiritually. It's unforgiveness, okay? Unforgiveness. It can be things from your past, it can be things that, you know, happened to you in childhood. You have to go back. And so speaking of that, I had to do the same thing. I had to go back. I had forgive my mom. My mom is gone. She's not here anymore. She died when I was 11 years old, you guys. And I had to forgive her for not being a great mom. And when I say not being a great mom, she battled with addiction, you know. When I went through, you know, to court saying it was exposed I was being sexually abused, she chose him over me. She rejected me. Excuse me. It was so many different things that I had to forgive her for. And also forgive my father, right, who was not in my life at this time, you know. Even now, I forgive— I forgive him. I love him, right? And so there's so many people I had to go back into my childhood to forgive, okay? Also, unforgiveness can disrupt your digestive health. Symptoms like stomachaches, nausea, and irritable bowel syndrome are common. The emotional turmoil from not forgiving keeps the digestive system in a state of unrest. Leading to chronic digestive issues. Okay, the next one here is depression and physical health. Um, unforgiveness can also cause, um, depression, which also can cause you to have heart problems. It can also increase the likelihood of you having a heart attack and heart-related issues. Once again, heart is going back to your heart, the issues of your heart, the issues of life. Is in your heart. It's in your heart. Okay, so I'mma skip through this a little bit because some of it's kind of repetitive, but the next part here talks about sleep disorders. Okay, unforgiveness can lead to insomnia and other sleep disorders, disrupting the body's natural sleep cycle. Poor sleep impairs immune function, making individuals more susceptible to infections and illnesses. The stress and anxiety from unforgiveness interfere with restful sleep, weakening the immune response. It can also affect your metabolism. You guys, this is deep. This is some deep stuff, okay? Your— all your whole entire being can be affected: mind, body, and spirit. And then, um, here finally I'm going to talk about, you know, how it can increase your likelihood of being addicted it to alcohol and substances, because oftentimes, you know, we can be so stressed and so depressed that we're looking for relief. You can be looking for a way to not feel your pain anymore. So people will turn to addictions and different things to make themselves feel better, okay? And this is also the case too if you have a hard time forgiving yourself for past mistakes. Weeks. Okay, this also applies to those of us who battle with that as well. Okay, and then finally here, um, it can affect your immune system. So unforgiveness disrupts the immune system, leading to inflammatory, inflammatory responses. The ongoing inflammation can contribute to illnesses such as cardiovascular diseases and autoimmune disorders. The stress negatively associated with unforgiveness weakness, weaken the immune system, making it harder for the body to fight off diseases. So as you can see, you got— it's like I call like, like little links. It's like linked links, links, links, links, okay? And it can get worse and worse and worse if it is not dealt with. And I always tell people, I can identify a person who's operating in unforgiveness just by talking to them, listening to what they have to say, because out of your heart and out of your mouth flows the issues of your life. And so, you know, I'm a person that people are very, very comfortable sharing with me their life story, whether they know I'm a therapist or not. I can be in public and then I'm like doing shopping or whatever, people just come up to me and start talking. And I know it's just who God created me to be, and people feel comfortable with me. So anyway, with that being said, I can tell, like, so What are you saying? Who are you talking about? What is the conversation about, right? And so even for myself, when I journal, I'm like, oh man, I can see what's bothering me. I can see what's on my heart. I could see so many different things about myself. So do some self-reflection, okay? And so I want to jump back to what I was saying earlier in the very beginning of this episode, in this video, about unforgiveness towards those who have hurt you. And so yes, the Lord has been preparing us for a time such as this. Some people knew about it, some people did not know about it, and it's a shocker for them. But God is not shocked, God is not surprised, and he does not want you to miss the things he had for you because unforgiveness keeps you stuck. It can keep you stagnant. Um, God, you guys, I, I don't think we as a whole, as a people truly understand how patient God is with us and how much God really loves us. I can't even put it into words. It's indescribable. It's indescribable. If you think you're a patient person, think about that times infinity. That's how patient God is with us. If you think you really love people, right, think about that times infinity. That's how God feels about his people, us, okay? He knows the things that we need to get rid of for us to be able to move forward. Okay, and so with that being said, I want to invite you. I want to invite you to a workshop. It's a peer support group that the Lord specifically put on my heart to do. I was minding my business, taking care of business, doing other things God has me doing, and this last week the Lord said, daughter, I want you to, you know, present to my people a workshop, a place where they can come and they can feel supported and they can heal and they can express themselves. I'm a big believer of this. Oftentimes we're told to forgive, but oftentimes we don't know how. How do you walk that out? What does— what does that look like, right? And so last year, probably I would say two, almost two years ago, first I created a course called A Heart That Forgives, and people purchased the course. It was amazing. I had great feedback on it. And then the Lord told me to turn it into an actual workbook. So I turn it into a workbook. Um, don't, don't quote me on the month, I always forget. I got so many books out, you guys, at this point. So this was right here, A Heart That Forgives: The Key to Inner Healing. It is a workbook to help you, to walk you through forgiving yourself and forgiving other people. So if you just want the workbook alone, I'll put the link in the description box. It's on my Lulu store. If you, you know, need additional support to discuss and share with your peers your heart and where you are and you need some feedback, then join the peer support group. Okay, I'll put the link to that for you in the description box. Uh, right now I'm having an early bird special until like mid-July. And, um, for $40, and you get access to two peer support groups. You guys, that's dirt cheap. I understand that, you know, what I'm offering and what God has placed on my heart to do, I could definitely charge more because of my qualifications, my credentials, my experience, the anointing on my life, and so much more. But honestly, I care more about people's hearts being free. So you have no excuse. So if you need some support, it's for you. If you don't, that's okay, it's not for you. Maybe you have someone you can discuss it with, you can share your heart with, then definitely do that, okay? Um, and so I'm just being obedient, simply being obedient to what God's asked me to do. And once again, um, this is for people who are struggling to forgive themselves and also to forgive others. So once you register for the workshop, you immediate access to this book in ebook format so you can begin your journey now in preparation for the peer support group. So when we come together, we'll be asking questions about what's in this book here and whatever's on your heart as well. And so, um, once again, I put it in the description box, um, but I want to end this episode and video today, um, with a prayer. Prayer, and also for a prayer for the leaders and a prayer for those who are hurt. Okay, so Father, I just thank you right now, um, for just being a good, good Father. Holy Spirit, you care and you love us so very much that, God, you don't want us to miss our blessings. You don't want us to miss, God, what it is that you have for us. You don't want us to miss heaven. Father, I pray, God, for the leaders who have been exposed, for those who are going to be exposed. I pray for their mental health, their well-being, their heart. I pray, God, that they will have a heart of repentance repentance like King David did and repent for what they've done, Lord. I'm gonna allow you to do a work in their heart, mind, body, and their soul. I pray, God, that they are surrounded by people who's going to hold them accountable, who's going to pour into them, who's going to extend grace to them, God. Father, help those of us who are dealing with hurt and disappointment, Lord, um, to cast that upon you, God, to deal with it, to grieve it if necessary. Hallelujah. Father, I thank you, oh God, for those, Lord, who is hearing this message right now, God. Reveal to them areas in their heart, God, whether it's from their past, God, that they have, uh, been hurt and disappointed and operating in unforgiveness, Lord, in offense and bitterness, Lord. Because God, you don't want us to miss it. God, the enemy is working overtime to try to take God's sheep, my God. But Father, I just pray, God, that you will just reach down, God, and snatch them, Lord God, out of the hands of the enemy, God. God, show us ourselves God, break the spirit of deception. Break the spirit of pride. Break the spirit of bitterness and unforgiveness. God, help us, God, to surrender everything, God, unto you, God. Hallelujah. Help us, God, to see, God, and have a heavenly vision of what this is costing us, Lord. Help us, God, to count the cost, Jesus, God, and to understand that your Son died for our sins. He died for each and every single one of us, God, that we might have life and have life abundantly. Lord. And so God, I thank you, I thank you again, Lord, for what you're doing in this hour. I thank you, God, for restoration. I thank you, God, for, for grace, mercy. And I thank you, God, for just this day. In Christ's name I pray, amen. Amen. All right, you guys, I will see you next time. Thanks again for tuning in on the podcast Faith and Mental Wellness, and also for watching this video on YouTube. And I'll see you guys