In this episode of Shakeeta Torres’ podcast, host Shakeeta welcomes her sister and guest, Lucretia Slater – a retired U.S. Army veteran, licensed mental health therapist, and author of Broken Narratives. The conversation weaves together personal testimony, professional insight, and Christian faith to explore how intergenerational and personal trauma shape parenting. Lucretia recounts her childhood (10 ACEs, domestic violence, a gun‑and‑knife confrontation) and how those experiences manifested in her early motherhood, leading to yelling at her daughter and a crisis that prompted her first therapy visit. She describes the challenges of seeking therapy within a church context that stigmatized mental health, the pivotal role of a culturally‑competent Black therapist, and how integrating Scripture (e.g., Psalms, John 6:12, Ephesians 2:10) helped her re‑frame trauma. Together, Shakeeta and Lucretia outline concrete parenting strategies: unlearning harmful patterns, inviting God into broken places, setting boundaries, practicing forgiveness (distinguishing it from reconciliation), partnering with therapists, and doing the “homework” outside sessions. The episode also promotes several resources – the Christian Leadership Coaching & Mentoring Program (Empowered Purpose Academy), the Faith and Mental Wellness Summit (March 13‑14, CEU‑eligible for NC and AR), and Lucretia’s book. The dialogue ends with a prayer for listeners and a call to action to register for the summit and apply the shared tips.
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Hey, hey, hey, I hope that you were enjoying this episode thus far, I wanted to let you know that the Christian Leadership Coaching and Mentoring Program is officially open for application. So this academy is for you if you feel stuck in your calling, need clarity on who you are called to serve, need community and a safe place to process your stuck points, need development in your spiritual gifts, need to be sharpened, need a safe place to heal and process some of your thoughts and things you've been through. And so I am so passionate about Christian leadership because I understand that sometimes we don't have that safe place to be able to share our most intimate struggles. And also as leaders, aspiring and existing Christian leaders, we do need more support to grow. And so I know for a fact that I'm really good at pulling out things than others. I'm really good at pushing people to the next level. I've been doing counseling and coaching now for over 15 years, and I love it. And I have counseled and coached many people as far as Christian leaders and helping them to get to the next level. If you're interested in this, go to www.empoweredpurposeacademy.com. And here are some of the things that we're going to go over, okay? So one, education about trauma, anxiety, depression, healing your image of God, healing from rejection, understanding your identity, improving communication styles, improving your boundaries, being more assertive, improving your self-esteem, understanding your value, uncovering more of your passions, understanding the fruits and the gifts of the spirit, combating imposter syndrome, growing spiritually. Biblical education, interpreting dreams and visions, and hearing God's voice. Listen, that's a lot, right? And so this program is going to be power-packed full of information to help you to grow and to heal on purpose. So again, visit www.empoweredpurposeacademy.com and submit your application.
And so some of you guys already know the topic today is, it is called Parenting Through My Trauma. And today I have a very, very special guest, my sister, my friend, my colleague, someone that I respect and I love so very much. I'm happy to have her up here. Um, her name is Miss Lucretia Slater, and today she's going to be sharing, um, her story about parenting through trauma. And also, she's one of the speakers for the Faith and Mental Wellness Summit that I'm hosting on March 13th and 14th virtually. This event is for, um, Christian leaders, uh, Christian therapists, social workers, life coaches, believers Anyone can come, but we are going to be incorporating the word of God along with mental health and ways you can cope with different areas of your life. So if you are a therapist looking to get CEUs for your licensure, check your board. It'll be a live summit and you may be able to count those hours towards your certification. As of right now, North Carolina and Arkansas has been confirmed verbally in writing from the board that they do accept this summit for hours for those who are looking to count those towards their licensure. And so without further ado, I'm going to go ahead and introduce Miss Slater and share with you all a little bit about who she is, and then we will get into her story. Okay, so Miss Lucretia Slater is a Florida native, a US Army veteran having served for 13 years. She is a first-generation college graduate. Earning both her Bachelor of Science in Social Work and Master of Social Work. She serves as a student mental health counselor at her college alumni in Tennessee. Lucretia is a mental health advocate and desires to meet women, particularly African American women, at the intersection of faith and mental wellness. Miss Lader publicly shared her story in her first published book called Broken Narratives: Restoration in the Broken Pieces of Our Lives, and she shares a lot about her story on social media. You can find her book on Amazon as well. She resides now in Tennessee with her husband and two daughters, ages 21 and 9, with the 21-year-old now paving her own army journey. She is currently pursuing her doctorate degree of social work at the University of Kentucky, y'all. When not working, Ms. Slater enjoys writing, creating content, and watching Disney movies with her family. So welcome, Ms. Lucretia. Thank you so much for being here today. Without further ado, I'm going to give the floor to Ms. Slater to share with you more about her journey when it comes to parenting through her trauma. And so I will give you the floor, Ms. Slater.
Oh my gosh, thank you so much, Shakeeta Torres, for inviting me, for having me here. Um, I'm completely honored to get to share my story. I— my goal is to share it whenever possible because I want people to know that, you know, God is— he has not forgotten and he doesn't waste anything. Um, let me see, I don't know where to start. Uh, there's so much But I think I will start with the turning point of when I was in the military and, um, I had just returned from my second deployment. And I don't know, something was frustrating me. And I was at the time, I was newly divorced from my oldest daughter's dad. Her and I were living in an apartment, and I don't know, something happened, um, and I just started yelling. And it was maybe 2, 3 minutes later, my daughter at the time, she was, uh, 10. She came to me and she had— her eyes were just so welled up with tears. And she said, Mom, can you just talk to me? Why do you have to yell at me all the time? And she turned around and went into her room and closed the door. And she left me at the dining room table in tears. And I'm like, okay, there's a problem. There's definitely a problem. So I made an appointment to go to therapy. That was probably my second encounter with therapy because, you know, as Black people, we typically don't come from a family that believes in therapy. It's either Jesus or you're crazy.
Yeah.
So, um, I went to therapy and I was very reluctant because I, I knew that I had a problem, but on the other hand, I was like, what can somebody tell me? Um, but this encounter was different. The woman, she was Black like me, she was an LCSW. And, uh, she didn't push, she didn't do any of that, you know. She just sit there, she sat there and asked questions to get to know me. And I'd say by session 4, I mean, I'm just pouring out, I'm, I'm just pouring out my heart to her and, you know, and everything. And what I got out of therapy was a lot of how I was responding to my daughter was a direct result of my childhood. Of the, um, experiences I had growing up. I had a very, very dysfunctional mom. I grew up in a very toxic, dysfunctional environment. Um, I'm the oldest of 4, and so, you know, with that older child complex, we, we already come with this protector mentality. And so there was a lot of things that I had to protect my— or that I felt like I had to protect my siblings from. And it's like I never um, got the opportunity to have a really healthy childhood. And so when I became a mom— I became a mom at 19, um, I had just joined the military, had no idea if I was going to stay in or get out. And it's like, now here I am with this little human being depending on me, and I have no idea what I'm doing. Even though I had been married and she was almost 10, I still had no idea what I was doing. Um, so that experience with that therapist started this, uh, trajectory of change in my life. Uh, fast forward to— I, I had gotten out of the military. Um, I had rededicated my life to God, and I had also gotten pregnant again and married. I mean, life has started happening really fast. It came maybe 2 years after my divorce. Um, and so that was a huge adjustment for both my daughter and me. So I'm married, I have a new family with my daughter, we're trying to adjust, but I still have to be mom. So indirectly she got pushed by the wayside again. And, uh, then I'm trying to co-parent with her dad, which was also very difficult Um, and trying to, I guess, decompress her when she came back from his house, because, you know, we had two completely, um, different parenting styles. And trying to parent her or re-parent her when she came back, and then just the things that she was going through in her life. I mean, it was, it was a lot. It was a lot. And After a while, I realized I needed to get back into therapy, but I was really reluctant this time because I was a rededicated Christian, and the church that I went to, they spoke against therapy, you know, more so like it was, um, of the devil, basically, you know. And so, um, I hesitated a lot going, but then I went. And I also asked some of the ladies at the church, you know, can I, can I just talk to you about something? Because I, um, I'm having, I think, some mental episodes. I was told, well, your faith is weak, your faith must be weak because all you need is Jesus. I was told there had to be a sin in my life as to the reason why I was, um, acting this way. I was told, um, that I just needed to pray more. So a lot of these things coupled with my already, um, confusion in this whole situation, it kind of made me reluctant to go to therapy. But what I saw at home, how I was acting, and then what I saw it doing to my daughter, I knew that I had to do something. So I went ahead and I went to therapy anyway, and I started this process again. Now mind you, there was probably like a 3-year gap between when I first went when I was in the military and when I decided to go again. There was a 3-year gap. So I went again, and I mean, I just thank God that, um, thankfully all of the therapists that I had, all but maybe one, were believers. And so when they learned that I was a believer, because, you know, you really don't disclose that as a therapist, but when they learned that I was a believer, that's when they kind of, you know, harped on that and helped me to rely not just on therapy but Jesus, because what I was told was absolutely wrong, that, you know, you can intersect the two, you can definitely merge the two. And so from those experiences, I began to heal. I began to, um, reconcile my relationship with my daughter. Now, it was hard, it was very hard, because she had already grown up with her own adverse experience you know. And so that would take her to start to work through those processes as she became a young adult. Um, but now it's like I'm two different people, you know. There's this person who my, my oldest daughter knew, and then there's this person that my oldest daughter is getting to know. So, um, it's quite an experience. We talk about it a lot. Um, when she came home for Christmas— because she's stationed in Germany now— when she came home for Christmas, um, we had like a 4-hour conversation about it. And there was just a lot of things that she unearthed and, you know, got out. And I'm so thankful that even through all the things that we went through that she still trusted me enough with the delicate parts of her story, of her heart. Um, and yeah, so I mean, we're on this, this journey of healing and recovery. And then my 10-year-old— now see, my 10-year-old, she is just a mini therapist already because she started, she started in this, um, she came, she was born in my restorative journey, you know. So she kind of got everything healed and restored. So now it's like she'll do emotional check-ins with me, she'll, um, ask me, do you need a hug? Do you need a few minutes by yourself? Do you, you know, things like that. Um, and it's even foreign to my oldest daughter for her to see that too, you know, because she's like you didn't treat me like that when I was 10, or I don't remember you acting like that towards me, or you would have never let me get away with that. Now mind you, a lot of oldest kids say that when we see the youngest kid getting away with, with everything, you know. But at the same time, I know where she was coming from because I wasn't that way, and there were a lot of things that I would have done differently with her, or that I did do differently with her, than I am with my 10-year-old. So it's definitely an experience.
But wow, I want to thank you for sharing your story. So I end up getting off Instagram because the audio was crazy, no one could hear, really hear everything. So I went ahead so that we could, um, really be, you know, in tune and everybody can hear what you're saying. And so you said a mouthful as you were speaking. It was so many different points that came up for me. And so I know that, you know, you and I both are passionate about seeing moms and daughters heal their relationship. And I know you've seen it, I've seen it over the years, how moms have a hard time connecting to their daughters or even understanding them because of their past experiences, right? And so unintentionally, as you were saying, you were parenting your daughter through your unresolved trauma. Oh yeah, oh yeah, through your unresolved trauma. So at 10 years old, she's like, Mom, why you keep yelling at me? So she kind of like just, I'm pretty sure, like jolted you, like, yes, like look in the mirror at yourself.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yes, yes. So like, if you don't mind sharing so people will know a little bit— you don't have to share everything, it's private information— but if you don't mind sharing a little bit about some of your childhood trauma and some things you had to go through or overcome to get to where you are today.
Yeah, yeah, of course. Um, well, I shared it all in my book. That's— God just had me, he had me go there, so I don't mind at all. Um, so I grew up with a single mom, um, in North Central Florida, and some of the things that I encountered— I'm pretty sure your audience— well, not pretty sure, I don't want to assume, but, um, some may have heard of ACEs or adverse childhood experiences. And according to that scale, I have all 10. So I grew up with drug use in the home, with, um, domestic violence in the home, um, severe mental, emotional, verbal, and physical abuse at the hands of my mom. Um, there were times when I became mom to my siblings. My youngest sibling, she actually started calling me Ma. Um, she recognized my mom as her mom, but I was her mom because I took care of her. Um, yeah, that— there were a lot of— there were a lot of men in and out of the home. Like, I really— I never saw a healthy relationship with my mom.. And I mean a healthy relationship between her siblings and her, her grandma and her, because her mom passed away so her grandma raised her, um, her grandma and her, and even the man, the romantic relationships. Um, she's been married several times.
Wow.
Uh, almost all of the men physically abused her. Um, thank God I don't have any recollection of being sexually abused, but I definitely have, um, memories of men making advances towards me. The men that she brought into the home, um, I always felt like I was the protector of my siblings. So there were times— there's this one time that I talk about in my book where one of my mom's husbands at the time, he was a very bad alcoholic and drug user. And so there were times when he would, I mean, beat her bad. The first time I saw it, he actually— she came to pick me up from school. I was in maybe 8th grade, and I noticed that she was— she would never turn and look directly at me in the face.
Yeah.
And so finally I kind of turned and I saw that she had a big swollen eye, and I was like, what happened? Yeah. And I said, did he do this to you? And she said, yeah, but he didn't mean it. Wow. Now I'm in 8th grade. I'm like, I don't think someone unintentionally means to give you a black eye like that. So in my mind, I had made up in my mind that I was going to kill him.
Wow.
So what I did almost every night, I would stay up, and these were school nights. I would stay up because if he wasn't home before I went to bed, I knew that when I went to bed it was going to be dangerous for her. So I would stay up past my bedtime to make sure that she got to bed safe and, you know, all this stuff. And one night in particular, I was up and I just had this— I was very anxious and worked up. I just had a really bad feeling. And my mom kept telling me to go to bed, go to bed, you got school tomorrow. I'm like, no, I'm not. I mean, I used to miss a lot of school too, because even though she treated me that way, she was still my mom. You know how, you know how, um, a dog owner, they might beat their dog, but that dog is still loyal to The dog owner, Stockholm Syndrome. Yes, that's exactly— yes, that's exactly how it was. And he came home, he was really high, really drunk, and she was at the kitchen washing dishes, and he came asking for money. And, um, she had already given me her gun, and she said if it gets worse— now this is— this is over several—
like, how old were you?
How old was it?
12. Why she gave you a gun?
Jesus.
Yeah, she gave me a gun and she said, don't bring it out and don't use it unless you know you have to. Wow. And that night I felt like I was gonna have to. So he kept nagging her for money, kept nagging her. She kept saying, I don't have it, I don't have it. Um, and finally it happened so fast like he punched her in the face and it, um, it messed her eye up because it was bleeding. Her eye started bleeding and I immediately ran to get the gun. And one of my siblings was already up— well, no, two were already up. They were crouched in the room because they had heard it. They were crouched in the room. I got them and I gathered them together and I had already collected some knives from the drawer, and I gave each one of them a knife, and I said, y'all sit right here. And they're crying. My little sister, she was like, Ma, I'm scared. And I said, I know, I know, it's gonna be okay. So I tried to load— I tried to cock the gun back because I made— I showed myself to him, and I had the gun pointed. It wouldn't, it wouldn't shoot. I know that was the grace of God. I know it was the grace of God. It would not shoot. Um, so then I took the knife that I had pulled out for myself, and my two youngest siblings were too scared to do anything. Now, they were babies, you know, they were maybe 3 and 6, 7 maybe. And, um, my middle sister and I, we took our knives and we went charging at him. And I remember I was so— I was so full of rage, I just started slashing at him. And the slashes, they should have landed. I mean, Shakeeta Torres, they should have landed.
Wow.
But I know that it was God that was blocking those slashes because, I mean, I was telling him, I was screaming, I was— I was crying, and I was telling him, I'm gonna gut you like a fish. And I'm just slashing, slashing, and he's running through the house and I'm chasing after him slashing. And, um, I don't know if it was my mom or my grandma, somebody had called the police already. And when I looked at my mom's face, I was just like, oh my gosh. Now the police had already been out there so many times, and you know, I, I told my mom, I said, if you take him back, I'm leaving. I can't, I can't stay here. I, I I can't. I've tried to protect you. I tried to keep you. I said, I can't do this. And the cops, when they came, they said, you know, ma'am, he, he will kill you if you let him back in. He will kill you. Because, you know, the stats for domestic violence and domestic abuse, they're real. They're real. It takes women about 7 to 8 times to finally leave or they end up getting killed. And that had been at least maybe the 6th or 7th time the cops had come out. And so they kept telling her, you need to press charges. If you don't, he will come back and kill you.
Yeah.
So she finally pressed charges, um, but we ended up going to see him in jail. But yeah, that's a, that's a snippet. Yes, yes.
Oh my God, I hear so much. I hear complex trauma, I hear generational trauma. Oh my God, it's like, it's like layers. There's so many layers to what you just shared. And you know, both of us, you know, being mental health, you know, professionals, and then, you know, we know, you know, we already know the language and things. And you know, also, you know, the family dynamics, your family roles. You were the protector, you were the guardian. Like, it's so many different things I hear that you needed to go through in therapy.
Yes.
My God, my God. And therapy, because you needed the language to help you to figure out and undo some of these thinking styles and behaviors that you had. And honey, I can relate to your story so much, it's ridiculous. Yeah, we connect so well with each other.
Really?
Like, when I first— we first met each other, you know, it was just like instant connection. And I definitely understand Why now? For sure, for sure. But you guys hear what she said. Check out her book, it's called Broken Narratives: Restoration in the Broken Pieces of Our Lives on Amazon. And, um, so what I want to do, like, oh, it's just— this is a conversation that can go on for hours, to be honest, for hours and hours. I'm sure people have so many questions that people can relate to your story in reference to trying to parent your child through your trauma. And so, all right, so share with the audience a tip or two about what you had to do or face or even deal with to really start parenting your, your child, like undoing some of the things you did before, if that makes sense.
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, the first thing was I had to unlearn. There were so many things that I had to unlearn. Um, you know, I, I— there was this when I was in, I think, grad school that— I don't know why this story just popped up, but I was in grad school and I remember we were taught this example of an injured dog. She was injured and her back legs were paralyzed, and so as a result, she drug her back legs around. Well, her baby started to do the same thing. Now, they were fine, they could walk Wow, they were perfectly healthy, but imprinting— they started following her and doing what she did. And it took the caregivers to separate the mom from the babies to let them walk on their own and teach them how to walk again, right? And so that's exactly what I had to do. Um, I had to unlearn the unhealthy behaviors that was modeled before me with my mom, and I had to incorporate Jesus into those broken places. Yeah, because see, again, I was taught that it was— there was two— there's two things here that was two paradigms. One, growing up, is either it's Jesus or you're crazy. And the other that I saw was No, it's all Jesus. You don't need therapy. Therapy is of the devil. Therapy is this. Therapy means you don't trust God.
Mm-hmm.
I had to learn how to intersect those.
Yeah.
And a way that God showed me that was he took me to the book of Psalms. And I remember reading and just doing this huge deep dive in Psalms. And the researcher said, had David been formally diagnosed, he would have had bipolar, depression, anxiety, all these things. And I'm like, whoa. And I started reading the Psalms differently, like, wait a minute, he's crying out from a place of, of mental anguish, of emotional stress.
Yes, yes.
So yeah, that— sorry, get back— getting back to the tips. Oh, that's great.
That's a great tip though. That's a good tip.
You're right.
And you Go ahead, I'll let you finish, and then I'll share what I wrote down.
Okay. I had to unlearn, and I had to— I had to invite God back into that space. Because see, the thing is, God will never go where he's not invited. No matter how much he loves you, no matter how much he desires, he will not force himself where he's not welcome. In Revelation, he says, I stand and knock at the door, and he says, if you invite me in, then I will come and eat with you.
Yes. Yes.
And so that's what I had to do. I had to literally let him into those broken places so that he can restore my life.
Yes, yes.
With him directly, but also through therapists.
Yes.
Um, you, uh, pointed out something, um, earlier. Before I, um, continue, someone said thank you for your transparency. I struggle with my daughters at times, but I tried to respond as I would have wanted my mom to respond. That's a good— yeah, yes, so true. He has 4 babies, I know. Oh yes, yes. And so absolutely. And so what you said earlier, you made a good point. Um, you said that you had went to your leaders before in the ministry you were a part of, and you were sharing with them what you were struggling with, and they said that you were just pretty much filled with demons, and that you were pretty much like, just worry about it, you'll have enough faith, right?
Like, ah, yes, yes. I mean, there were times the, the sermons where the pastor would make jokes about people taking Prozac, and I'm like, wait a minute. Yeah.
And I've had clients who do the same thing who told me that they were seeing me for counseling, and when they told their leader they was coming to counseling, they shamed them. And I was so angry And I'm like, they not know that God is in the midst of all of our sessions. Like, there's time when God was, okay, wake up, pray for so-and-so, uh, I want you to fast for them today. Like, and like, in fasting for them and working with them and doing the therapy, but also praying with them and inviting God into the midst. Like you said, invite him in so he can do a work in your heart. Because ultimately, you know, people don't see it this way, but therapy is sowing and watering seeds. And God is the one that brings the increase.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely yes. And that, that was, that was so huge. That was a very huge part of my healing process, is really just allowing God to come in and water what was planted, you know. And it's still a process. Like, I heard this quote from this one, um, what is her name? Dr. Tamar Bryant, she says, I am healed, I am a healer, and I am healing. I love that because it captures the essence of where we are. You know, we— as long as we're here on Earth, we will never be fully healed from anything like that, you know, emotionally and mentally. But because of course, in order to be perfected, that happens once we meet Jesus. But I do believe that we can be so far removed from a place to where now we're able to do what so many of us are doing, is talking to other people and saying, hey, this is what I had to do. Another thing is I had to take the tips of my therapist. You know, that is so important for people. When you decide to go into a relationship with a therapist, for the most part, they are not there to make money off of you. They are not there to— they're really there to help you. And 90% of the work is done outside of that therapy room.
Yep.
I had to be willing to partner with my therapist and do the work outside of therapy, do your homework, try the strategies, figure out what works, hey, all that good stuff. Absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it whenever I would see a client in therapy and then I'm sharing with them because like ultimately if I'm counseling people, I'm sure the same for you, you— God is showing you areas highlighting areas to kind of target. Yeah, right. Um, this is the power of having someone who's a believer, also a therapist, who really truly filled with the Spirit of God. Not saying they are, but they act right, right? I know that you are, Lucretia, and I know that I am too. And so what it is, God begin to highlight stuff to people, right, to connect the dots. And then I love when they go home and they come back, Shakeeta Torres, God just begins to just deal with me about so many different things. And he kind of found on that thing. My God. Oh girl, it's— I get so much joy.
Isn't that amazing? Yeah.
They're also strengthening their relationship with God as well, you know, through the therapy process. When you have someone inviting Holy Spirit and God into the room, they're also working on relationship with God and trusting him again.
Yes.
And so I love it. I love pointing them back to Jesus as well. So it's all encompassing, right?
It's all it is.
My body is— it is.
That's right. And you know what, my last tip I would say is I had to be willing to really and truly forgive my mom because— and, and God used my husband for this. One night, I mean, I'm just sitting there just venting and saying, well, she needs to do this and she needs to apologize for this. Why, why do I have to be the bigger person? Why did it take me to do this and me to do that? And I'm, I'm the child and she's the parent. My husband, he said, well, what if she never apologizes? Then what? And I'm— I was like, hmm, I didn't think about that. What if she doesn't apologize? Then what? Am I gonna hang my life up on the fact that she didn't apologize to me?
Right, right.
Because see, this is what I realized. And, and I've seen people, you know, respect their, their viewpoints on forgiveness and whatnot. But as a believer, we are commanded to forgive. But through God's grace, we understand that forgiveness is also a process, and that forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness involves one person. Reconciliation involves two willing people who are willing to own the wrong, to come together and reconcile that relationship.
Right?
So me forgiving you, it has to do with my right standing with my relationship with God, right? And my healing. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to welcome you back into my space if I feel like you're unsafe to me.
Exactly, exactly. So those boundaries are so important too. And I know it's very difficult to learn how to set boundaries with someone that's your parent who was your caregiver as well. And so where are you and your mom at today? Are you guys in communication with each other? How's the relationship?
Um, we do not talk at all.
Okay.
We have not spoken in going on maybe 7 years.
Mm-hmm. And you know, I need that courage. Yes.
I would— yes, it's difficult because, you know, even as a 42-year-old woman, you still desire your mom. Yeah, you know, you still have that maternal desire.
Yes.
And there are some days that I think back, because of course not every waking moment of my childhood was terrible. I had good moments. She wasn't really affectionate like that, but we had good moments, you know. And so I think about those times, and I just— during, like, while she's absent, I just pray and ask God. I still pray for her. I still pray for her that God will cover her, heal her, you know, save her if she's not— give her that desire to get saved. Um, but in this space, I ask God to help me to be the mom that he needs me to be to my girls as he continues to heal me through And I thank God that he has brought women along the way in my journey that were like Mom to me. Yeah, you know, so yeah, I love that.
Listen, you said a mouthful and like my head is just spinning with so much information and I'm so excited about the summit because I know that it's going to be beautiful and going to bless so many people. Um, so you guys, don't forget, sign up for the Faith and Mental Wellness Summit. She is one of the speakers, you guys, and she's going to share with you all more strategy, more information, more things about, you know, her story. She'll have 45 minutes to present. You'll be able to ask more questions live and all that good stuff. So it's a live event, March 13th and March 14th. And so with that being said, um, I wanted to say this too, so Um, many of you guys probably know and might— may not know the theme of the summer is called Unashamed. Yes, and listen, she had to overcome shame to go get the help that she needs. Because she and I was talking earlier about how, for example, your daughter, you know, said, Mom, why you keep yelling at me? And as you begin to like look in the mirror at yourself, I'm pretty sure you felt like bad, you felt shame.
Absolutely.
Heal.
Absolutely.
And so it takes courage and overcoming that shame part for you to actually go get the help that you needed. Thank God that you did, and you didn't even let people in the ministry you were a part of even stop you from going to get the help that you need too. And so here's the thing I love about Dr. Anita— always say this— she said prayer is a weapon and therapy is a strategy. Strategy, you guys. And so we— and you know, people think if I go to counseling, that mean I'm crazy. If I go to counseling, that means that I don't trust God. If I go to counseling, that mean that I'm not a prayer warrior, whatever the case may be. But baby, you can be all of the— all of those things. And back to what you were saying about David, you know, David, the book of Psalms, you can see all the emotions he went through. He went through joy, he went through happiness, he went through, you know, brokenness. He went through a lot. Disobedience. He went through so many different things, right? And so I know looking at scripture, he also had people in his life that provided him with wise counsel.
Sure.
And that's what therapy is—wise counsel. And so this is why, you know, the Lord put it on my heart so heavily to have the Faith and Mental Wellness Summit, because one of the questions I would always get asked over the years, um, is, Shakeeta Torres, like, do you know a therapist or a Christian life coach that is truly Holy Spirit-led like you? Because I'm only licensed in North Carolina. And people, especially in the pandemic, I would get phone calls for counseling from different states, and I couldn't practice in that state. At that time, I wasn't doing life coaching because I would have too many, um, therapy clients. I couldn't do it all, right? Because I'm trying to like keep myself going too. I remember when I first, um, I became a therapist, uh, in 2013. And opened up my own practice in 2017. And in the— during those phases of my life, I'm like, God, okay, I'm already— I know I'm anointed for this, I know you call me to this, I know I hear your voice, I know I'm gifted, you know. I said, but as far as the clinical part, how do I incorporate that into, into therapy? Because I don't want to come off as like spooky or crazy or whatever. I struggle, and I'm like, God, like, I need a mentor. And God said, I'll be your mentor. And so really, God walked with me through every single client and how to counsel them God's way. Okay. And so over time, you know, I just became sharper and better, sharper and better. And so, you know, now I'm really good at what I do and you're really good at what you do, you know. And so we also have a platform of people on the website as well who are Holy Spirit-led life coaches and therapists, okay, who are full of wisdom, full of knowledge and education as well. To help the body of Christ to heal. That's what we're called to, okay? Yes. Um, so don't forget, you guys, register. It's going to bless you tremendously. And as I said before in the beginning, for those who are just getting on now, you know, if you are a therapist or a social worker or a case manager, you can use those hours towards your licensure depending on your state. I'm in North Carolina. I know Arkansas for sure you can count these hours towards your licensure. So It's going to bless people so much. And so with that being said, um, can you, can you share a scripture or two that you actually had to stand on or, or had to really embody during your healing journey then?
That's so good. It's John— it's very small— John 6:12. It says, um, Well, actually, it's not really small, but it's the only scripture in the Gospels where Jesus instructed the disciples to collect up all the scraps because he wastes nothing. Um, that scripture has been my anchor. Wow. That and Ephesians 2:10, for we are God's masterpieces created anew. And like, Jesus, I forget it now. I don't know why I'm drawing a blank. I know that scripture, but we are God's masterpieces. Passages.
Yeah, we are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Yes, yes, yes. So those two passages are my anchors. I love it, I love it.
And I love, um, as you were saying, Romans 8:28 as well, in conjunction with John. Everything work out here, everything for your good, you're good, right? Um, yeah. And so fast forward to today, you guys, she and her daughter have this like beautiful relationship. They have both taking out time to do the work that it takes to have a great mother and daughter bond. Okay, as I was saying earlier, Miss Lucretia, she is a retired Army veteran and her daughter is actually in the Army now. Okay, and so probably about, what, a month ago now? Was about a month ago, a little bit more. December. In December, she, um, posted a reel on Instagram when she recorded her, her family waiting for her daughter to get, um, off the airplane. Where was she at? Where she located at?
She was in Germany.
In Germany. And you guys, I watched it and I said, I'm not gonna cry, I am not gonna cry, I am not gonna cry, I'm not gonna cry. Before I knew it, I was crying. And also during that time, I was seeing a client in a very similar situation as your story where she was struggling, you know, with the mom and daughter situation. They both were healing together. And so, um, I want to share with you all her reel real quick. I'mma share the screen, y'all, because it's so good. So good. Okay, let me share my screen.
Hopefully it will work and I won't have any issues.
You guys got to see this. Okay, hold on.
Okay, yes.
Okay, yes, I can share it. All right, can you guys see that? Can you see that, Lucretia?
Yes, ma'am. Okay.
Your heart I will choose. Forever I'm yours.
Forever I do.
I get to love you. I get to love you. I get to love you. I get to love Love you. Nice. Say, love is a journey.
I promise that I'll never leave.
When it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me. I get to love you. I get to love you. I get to love you.
Ah, girl, listen. Oh, I'm getting teary-eyed now just watching. Now, girl, listen, honey, you have broken barriers. My God, you have broken barriers. Oh my gosh, you know, you would never think that you didn't have your mother in your life because how you love your babies.
It's just— oh my gosh. Yeah, I— it's like I really feel that emotion deeply right now because, yeah, you know, I, I have such— and I'm trying to hold back my I'm trying to keep myself together. I have such a desire for women to not miss out. For women not to miss out on that beautiful relationship with their daughters— I mean, with their children, period. Yeah. Um, I thank God for this journey. It has definitely not been an easy one, but I thank God for it. And I thank God for where me and my daughter are, because through our relationship with so many other mother-daughter relationships that have been healed, God moves. My desire is for him to get this glory. My desire is for us to point women back to him and say, trust him, trust him with your broken pieces, trust him with this relationship. Whatever you can't do, he can. Whatever you're not, he is, because it's in him where our identity rests. Yes. So that video is crazy, but it is my most viewed video. I believe it.
I know I've heard it.
I'm sure And I am just— I, I give God the glory every time I see a comment or see someone share that. I give God the glory because he's just in this business of restoring relationships. And if I can be that, partake in that, and, and make myself vulnerable for somebody else's healing, then I'm willing to do that. Yeah.
And I tell people all the time, you're not too old, it's never too late to work on things. I've seen grown children and their elderly mothers and relationship is just sour, and I'm like, you guys, it's not too late, it's not too late. Oh girl, my heart is so full right now. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, my God, my God, um, my God, your story, your story, your story. Um, and so with that being said, you guys, I just, uh, so I feel like, I feel a, I feel the need to pray. Oh, you want to pray? Do you want me to pray? I'll let you do it. Okay, okay. So Father, we just thank you right now, God, for, um, Miss Lucretia's story. Father, Father, I pray, God, that it has blessed someone today. Holy Spirit, I ask you, God, to invade their hearts, invade their minds, invade their space, Lord, and that God, it will bring upon healing. Oh Lord God, just to hear her story and to know that God, you love them deeply and it's not too late for them to heal. It's not too late to heal relationships. Father, I pray God that they will take out time to seek you, to not be afraid to look in the mirror, to not be afraid to be transparent or vulnerable with you, and to just know that God, you can walk them through every single situation and every single journey they are facing. God, when it comes to parenting when it comes to being a mom or even a dad and parenting their children through their trauma. And so, Father, I ask you, God, to continue to break strongholds, break generational curses. Father, Father, I ask you, Lord God, just to breathe on them afresh right now. God, feel them wherever they are, God, with your unconditional love, your unwavering love, because God, you don't move. God, you're unshakable. God, your foundation is strong, God, and you want to heal us. You desire to heal us, God, from the inside out. So Holy Spirit, I thank you again for Miss Lucretia's story, for taking out the time. God, she continued to move. Gotta continue to share her story and counsel women and go to school. God, continue, God, to add to her. God, God, continue to open up doors for her, Lord God, to be able to help other women, other moms and daughters to be set free. In Christ's name I pray, Lord. Amen and amen. Hallelujah. Thank you, Lord. Amen. Thank you. Huh. So before we end, do you have anything on your heart that you feel led to share?
Um, just thank you. Thank you for inviting me into this space, and I pray that your audience have been blessed and encouraged, but more importantly, that they've been moved a little bit closer towards their own healing journeys. Yes, yes.
Thank you guys so much for watching. Again, you can register for the, for the summit at faithandmentalwellness.faith. Um, you can register right now, so go in there now, and we hope to see you guys on March 13th and 14th when you can hear her share more strategies and more, um, things about her story when it comes to Parenting Through Your Trauma. See you guys on next week. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode. Our prayer is that that this podcast episode has blessed you. Don't forget to go and subscribe and leave us a raving review. If you would like to sow into this ministry or to this podcast, Pain, Passion, and Purpose, you can do so at anchor.fm/painpassionandpurpose or Cash App $shakeetatorres. Thank you so much, and I will talk to you next time.
