A Christian therapist argues that clinicians need their own therapy to practice well. She describes her path from unrecognized anxiety to diagnosis, shaped by family trauma and childhood neglect, and how prayer, her husband, and a close friend helped alongside professional treatment. She warns that therapists often hide low self-esteem behind intellectual knowledge.
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being in therapy yourself. Now, I'm not saying that if they say they haven't, you shouldn't see them, but what I'm saying is I do feel like, once again, in order to be effective at your maximum potential, it— you should go to therapy. Um, and so for clients who I see and like it's their first time seeking out therapy, they're extremely nervous. They are like, don't know what to expect. Um, they don't know me, So I break the ice by telling them that, hey, I get how you feel. Because before, when I had to find a therapist before in the past, I was nervous because I'm like, I'm going to this person to be vulnerable. I'm going to this person to share with them my most intimate struggles, and I don't know what to expect. So I will always pray. Honestly, I'm like, Lord, you know, this is what I'm struggling with. You know, I trust that this person has the wisdom um, to help me, um, in my situation and to help me to identify some of the root causes of my symptoms. That's it. That's it. And so, you know, for me, you know, I am a Christian. I'm also a faith-based counselor. So with that, I do pray a lot. I seek God a lot. And sometimes he will tell me, okay, daughter, this is what you're dealing with. So what's going on? But then guess what? It's my responsibility to deal with it, whether I'm going to see a therapist, whether I'm talking to my husband or my best friend who I adore so much as well. Um, those are my top 3: God, my husband, and my best friend. Faith without works is dead. So having said that, my biggest thing I've struggled with before in the past has been anxiety, and honestly, I didn't know that it was anxiety. I did not know. Um, because it was before I became a therapist. It was before I really, you know, really dug into the DSM, which is what we use to diagnose our clients with, um, mental health diagnosis like anxiety, depression, you know. It's a whole other ball game all by itself. We'll talk about that in another video. Um, but my husband said the Lord told me to tell you that you are struggling with anxiety and you need to seek that out. You need to seek out what it is that's causing you to have all this anxiety. And so I was like, okay. So I did, I did. I started going to therapy. I started to read scriptures about anxiety. That definitely helped. And for me, it was a lot of generational stuff in my family. My mom had anxiety. My brother has anxiety. My sister has, actually she has panic attacks. My brother has anxiety. It runs in my family deep, real deep. And so that carried over into my life. And so some of the root causes for me was, you know, I have a history of sexual trauma, physical trauma, seeing domestic violence in my home growing up, um, having, um, child— no, child, you know, abuse, physical abuse, um, having what we call in therapy, um, uh, childhood emotional neglect, where I wasn't able to really articulate how I felt without being shunned or put down. And so that gave me anxiety because as I got older, I had a hard time telling other people how I felt and letting other people know you know, what my boundaries are. And so I had to learn how to be assertive. And so with that came even more anxiety. And so it's amazing because I see so many of my clients tell me, you're such a confident woman, you are just so bold, and you're just so, you know, sure about who you are. But you guys, I had to go through the process. It was not— I didn't wake up like this. I didn't wake up saying, okay, I'm this extra bold woman of God that is fearless. No ma'am. I had to work on myself. I had to journal. I had to— I talked to God, I talked to my husband, I talked to my girlfriend. And you know, iron sharpens iron, okay? And for a lot of my clients that I have, I am their iron. There are believers, they believe in the Lord, they love God and God loves them, but there's certain areas that God wants you to work on. Faith without works is dead. You can know you have an issue, but then actually working on the issue is totally different. And that's across the board for therapists and non-therapists, because, you know, I see therapists who are extremely smart— they're extra, extra smart, you guys— they know those books like in and out, but their self-confidence and self-esteem is so low. So they use that as a crutch to be able to feel good about themselves. And to try to make themselves appear like these— like they're intelligent people. And I don't think a lot of these therapists are seeing that they're doing that. So I'm not bashing them. I'm not trying to, you know, put those people down who have never been to therapy before and who are therapists. But it shows up. Like, I have, you know, really good discernment, um, that comes from experience in my profession, that comes from the Lord, that comes from me spending time with him. So So when I spend time with people in general and I hear them, you know, talking and hear things, I can clearly see some of the areas that, you know, they need to work on. Um, do I tell them at times? Yes, when I feel led to, because sometimes everyone is not ready to hear the truth. Or, you know, I just pray for them. I'm like, Lord, just reveal it to them. Reveal to them, God, that they need to seek you out in this area or seek professional help in this area so they can heal. My ultimate goal is to see other people to heal from their past experiences, from, you know, generational things, from their mom to their grandmother, you know, father, grandfather. I mean, so much history, you guys, that, you know, we need to process. And, um, I like the motto that someone had posted before, you know, we're not responsible for what happened to us, especially when we're children, because we're children, we can't control things around us. But we are responsible for our own healing, meaning that you to seek it out. And depending on the situation, depending on what it is that you're dealing with, um, is it hard at times? Absolutely. It is hard to have a mirror sometimes and look in the mirror and see that, okay, I really need help. Especially people who feel like, you know, they have it all together. But that's not true. We don't have it all together. I don't have it all together. It is a constant walk for me every single day to wake up and put on my best self. Do I have hard days where I do have anxiety more so than others? Yes, I do. I have to sit with that and say, okay, why do I have anxiety? You know, where is this coming from? Why am I being anxious? And it has gotten so much better over the years. Even my doctor told me, you're doing amazing. I told her about my history of anxiety. She knows, you know, she knows about that. Um, my therapist that I see from time to time, you know, she knows. I said, hey, I'm struggling, I need help, my anxiety is off the charts. You know, I don't know why we kind of sit and we process that. And I even thought about doing medication, but they both told me no, because she said, Shakeeta, you have what it takes. You have what it takes to overcome it. There's nothing wrong with taking medication for anxiety. That's a whole other topic all by itself as well. I want to focus on really therapy for therapists so you guys can really get a clear picture of, you know, my thoughts about it. Okay, these are my thoughts and my observations about therapy for therapists. So I'm here. I love seeing therapists because when I'm talking to them about certain things, they get it right away because they're also doing that with their clients. So what I'm doing, I'm pretty much reflecting back to them what they're teaching, and I'm helping them to work on their stuff. Because when you're so busy helping other people, um, it is hard to work on your stuff. And if you go a long period of time without working on your stuff it becomes harder and you become full and you become stressed and you become depressed and you become anxious. So it's good to kind of catch that stuff early. Like, whenever my anxiety flared up and it was bad for several, like a couple of weeks, 2 or 3 weeks, I said, okay, I call my therapist, I need an appointment because I've been doing everything I possibly can. I feel like I was anyway to, um, help alleviate my anxiety. I caught it early. I didn't wait until it was to the point where it was uncontrollable and I couldn't function the way I needed to for my clients and for my family. Okay, my first priority is my family, and if I can't give them my best self and then come to work and give my best self, then what good am I? What good am I? So, but anywho, that's my, um, spiel, um, about therapy for therapists. If you have any questions, um, please ask them. I will drop a couple of articles um, in the description box for my therapists out there. Hello! Um, you guys have a great day and I'll talk to you soon. Bye-bye!
