Shamsudin Hakim outlines a four-phase breakup recovery program. In phase two, you write a letter to your ex about unmet expectations and burn it. By week nine, you ask yourself who you are without the relationship, and at 90 days, you decide whether to end things for good based on whether they've actually changed.
And this is what I call the release the hope phase. It's a weekly burning letter exercise. This is where you write what you needed that person to be. Then you burn it, you watch it turn to ash, and you let the hope go with it. Phase 3 is weeks 9 through 12. This is where you reclaim your identity, where you ask yourself, who am I without this marriage? Not who I was before it. Not who I'll be after it. Who am I right now? And phase 4 is decision. At the end of 90 days, if he hasn't fought for the marriage, therapy, changed behavior, consistent pursuit, not just money and monitoring,
