Shamsudin Hakim argues men should stop dating from neediness and start from abundance. Spend 60 to 90 days building a fulfilling life, do masculine-energy work through therapy and male spaces, then date with directness and purpose. Invite someone into your life instead of trying to fill a void.
Because right now he's dating from lack. I need someone to hang out with, go to the gym with, settle down with. Everything is I need. The shift is from I need someone to I'm inviting someone into a life I already built. And that requires 60 to 90 days of focused self-investment before swiping right on anyone. Step 4, then the masculine energy work. After the foundation is set, therapy, safe male spaces, purpose, Then we work on how he shows up in dating— directness, eye contact, leading, creating tension.
