You can't love someone into healing. The speaker identifies five red flags of a fixer dynamic: trauma-dumping early, excusing bad behavior with past hurt, claiming you're different from others who left, needing you more than you need them, and resisting therapy because they have you.
This is the Fixer's kryptonite. You see their potential. You see their pain. You think if I just love them enough, they'll heal. If I just stay, they'll change. But here's the truth. You can't love someone into healing. They have to choose it. And most broken people, they're not choosing it. They're choosing you to avoid doing the work themselves. So here's the red flags I want you to look for. They trauma dump on date one. Hooking your empathy. They make excuses for their behavior, saying things like, I've been hurt before. They say you're different from everyone else who gave up on them. They need you more than you, want you. They resist therapy, growth. I don't need help. I have you.
