SHAMSUDIN HAKIMI help you break the Love Pattern that keeps choosing the wrong person.

The Avoidance Response: Why You Feel Stuck

15 Sept 2026 · 1 min

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In this segment, Shamsudin Hakim explains the first pattern he calls the "avoidance response." He argues that when a person’s trauma originates from a male figure, they may unconsciously avoid masculine energy. This avoidance is not a deliberate decision; instead, the individual gravitates toward feminine energy, preferring the company of women, and often lacks male friends or mentors. Because they lack a safe environment to engage with masculine energy, they miss opportunities to learn how to embody and integrate that aspect of themselves, which can leave them feeling stuck in personal growth.

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Pattern one: the avoidance response. If the person who hurt you was male, you might avoid male energy altogether—not consciously. You don't wake up and say, "I'm avoiding men," but you gravitate toward women. You feel safer around feminine energy. You don't hang out with guys. You don't have male friends. You don't have male mentors. And here's what happens. You never learn how to embody masculine energy because you never had a safe space to develop it.