SHAMSUDIN HAKIMI help you break the Love Pattern that keeps choosing the wrong person.

Why Masculine Techniques Feel Fake (And How to Fix It)

16 Sept 2026 · 1 min

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In this segment, Shamsudin Hakim explains the fourth step of his framework for men seeking healthier dating dynamics. After establishing a solid foundation through therapy, participation in safe male spaces, and clarifying personal purpose, men move to the "masculine energy work" phase. This involves practicing directness, sustained eye contact, taking the lead, and deliberately creating tension—techniques he outlines in his original assessment. Hakim stresses that these tools only feel authentic when the underlying emotional healing is in place; without it, attempts at masculine techniques feel forced, causing men to default to a passive "nice friend" stance that feels safe to their nervous system.

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Step 4, then the masculine energy work. After the foundation is set— therapy, safe male spaces, purpose— then we work on how he shows up in dating. Directness, eye contact, leading, creating tension, all the things I covered in this, all the things I covered in his original assessment. But those tools only work when the foundation is healed. Without healing, masculine energy techniques feel He'll try them, they'll— won't— he'll try them, they won't feel natural, and he'll revert to passive nice friend because that's where his nervous system feels safe.