Shamsudin Hakim argues men's obsession with specific physical traits stems from childhood powerlessness. The brain compensates by seeking control over observable things like height and weight. These rigid appearance standards protect against emotional vulnerability by letting men judge without getting close.
Pattern 2, the surface fixation. When you experience something as a child that you couldn't control, your brain develops a need to control what it can. In dating, this often shows up as hyper-specific physical criteria. She has to be this height, this weight, this body type, this hair, this skin tone. She has to have this shape. On the surface, that looks shallow. Why is this man so focused on looks? But underneath, physical criteria are sink criteria. They don't require vulnerability.
