SHAMSUDIN HAKIMI help you break the Love Pattern that keeps choosing the wrong person.

Why You Never Learned To Be A Man

16 Sept 2026 · 1 min

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In this brief monologue, SHAMSUDIN HAKIM argues that women who grew up around unsafe men often adopt soft, passive behaviors as a protective strategy learned in childhood. When these women bring that same energy into dating, they are typically seen by potential partners as friendly and safe rather than as romantic prospects, because many women’s attraction is triggered by a display of masculine intention—a quality the speaker claims these women were never taught to cultivate.

Chapters

The men in your life were unsafe, so being like them feels unsafe to you. So you stay soft, you stay passive, you stay in the space that felt protected as a child, surrounded by women. But when you bring that energy into dating, women experience you as a friend, a good person, a safe presence, but not a romantic option because romantic attraction for most women requires some form of masculine intention. And you've never learned how to create it.