Crush Imposter Syndrome

Best of us suffer from some form of imposter syndrome at some point in our entrepreneurial journey. Sheryl Plouffe here, video strategist, along with Suzanne Longstreet to talk about imposter syndrome today. This is a really important topic because it can be the thing that holds you back from accomplishing all that you want to, not only personally but professionally as well. Suzanne, so glad that you're here. You come at this with a very different expertise than I do being an NLP Master Coach and Master Hypnotherapist. And I'd love to hear from your point of view about imposter syndrome. Well, let's start with the basics. What in your opinion would be the definition of imposter syndrome? It's a term we hear. It's thrown around a lot. But what is in your estimation imposter syndrome?

Yes, great question. I'm so happy to be here with you, Cheryl. Imposter syndrome affects way too many of us. And researchers said up to 82% of people have identified with imposter syndrome at one point in their life. And there's— it has many behaviors underneath it, things like, I'm not good enough, I don't feel worthy, and even things that you wouldn't think fall underneath it. I— it needs to be perfect before I'm gonna post it on social media. It needs to be perfect before I will show up. And do a video with somebody. So, all of these behaviors chunk up to look like imposter syndrome. And my definition of it is anytime when you feel like you're going to stop yourself because you're waiting for the guy with the clipboard to come and call you out as a fraud or something like that, you know you're running imposter syndrome.

Yeah, and we suffer from that. Or do you agree with the statement that I opened our interview with today in that we all do suffer from some form of that? That's my opinion, but I'd love to know from your perspective. Do we all suffer from it to some degree?

Yeah, again, that 82% have had something. And the people who don't tend to go to the other spectrum, which is the Dunning-Kruger effect, which is, ah, I can do this. I can do anything. I've done 1 out of the 9 things on that job description. I can do it all. So if you don't have a little bit of imposter syndrome at some point in your life, you are often a little bit overblown, perhaps.

Which brings me to the point, is it healthy to have some dose of it?

I believe so, and I use it as fuel. This is what I believe is important. We need to have a little bit of it so that we don't oversell ourselves or don't, um, that we keep ourselves in check a little bit. But too much of it obviously is a problem. A little bit is good.

How do we get that perfect balance? What are some things that we can action, action, and that we can do to to have just that perfect balance of imposter syndrome or whatever we might call the positive side of that versus letting it overtake us so that it holds us back? How do we achieve that perfect balance?

Well, the thing I like to do and recommend to my clients is recognize it. Just pay attention to those thoughts. Am I doing this because— so, it's the need to be perfect. Okay, it has to be perfect before I'm willing to post it on. And I'm staying up and putting too much time into it. 'Whoa, whoa, whoa, is this healthy, working for me, or is this imposter syndrome?' And when we can label it as, 'Oh, this is imposter syndrome, this is stopping me from getting that post out on LinkedIn,' then we can go, 'Okay, just relax into it and go, yeah, oh, there it goes, the imposter syndrome has struck in again.' What I struck again— what I would like people to do is not say 'my' and own it, because then we can get into the hypnosis of the diagnosis, right?

Meaning that we're taking it on as if it's— we're singularly the only person in the world who feels that way. Is that what you mean?

Yeah. It's also, for example, um, owning it and, and allowing it to define you. Okay. I am a fraud. I am a perfectionist. I am not good enough. All that stuff. Is when we say, I have imposter syndrome. I, oh, it's because of my imposter syndrome. Then what happens is we rely to, it's a crutch. Oh, I don't have to do it because I have imposter syndrome. And then we don't get things done.

That's what we're— But if you say, yeah, and if you say, well, oh, you know, okay, so you say, okay, great, I recognize that this is imposter syndrome. And then you say, my imposter syndrome is keeping me from making that post or making that video. That's not healthy either because then you're saying that you own it.

You're identifying. It's part of your identity. We don't want to have that label us. The label is probably the best way to say it, Cheryl, is we don't want to label ourselves with that.

Because it's the language. In saying the word, 'my imposter syndrome,' implies that you're owning it. So, what would be the alternative? Is it more about saying, 'Okay, I'm recognizing that this is imposter syndrome but it's outside of me?' Yes, exactly.

Practicing the observer role of sitting there and going, oh, that seems like imposter syndrome. That's not me, that's the imposter syndrome. And therefore, I'm not going to let that dictate my actions. I'm going to do it anyway and show you I'm okay. It's almost like talking to the inner critic as well, like distancing ourselves from that, that inner voice, that inner critic. The imposter syndrome voice.

So let me ask you, you personally, I mean, obviously you're an expert at this. But you personally are on this interview right now and you're visible. You're getting out there and you're speaking on your subject matter expertise. And that's amazing. But did you ever suffer from that to the point where it kept you and held you back from doing interviews like these?

Oh gosh, yes, absolutely. In fact, when I was talking to my colleague Michelle in January, she said, Suzanne, This is a great subject for you. I'd really love you to go out into the world and talk about imposter syndrome. Because what had happened is I was in a mastermind where I was a client, and somebody said, you have imposter syndrome, like this, which is just the worst way to find out about it. And I was like, I do not. And as I went in and did the research to do this, prepare it, to prepare for the talk that I was doing way back in January of this year, I went, oh my gosh, I identify with some of these things. And, and it was healthy. I went, okay, I do identify with some of these things. I can see some of my behaviors as having done this in the past. And what am I going to do? How can I help people if I feel this way myself?

Yeah. So what— let me ask about your work, how the work that you do now. Obviously, you, you cover a lot of other symptoms and, and issues other than imposter syndrome, but I'd love for you to explain a little bit about the work that you do and, and how you help people.

Thank you. I'll share with you is every single symptom of imposter syndrome is something that one of my clients— every single client comes to, they have a component of it because there's multiple things. And I have more information about this. Um, in fact, I've even got a quiz, an assessment that people can do on my website to find out what degree they might identify with it or have it or how it might be stopping them. Because what I've learned— oh, thank you— is what I've absolutely learned in the work that I do and the people that I help is that at some point in time it has affected people from doing more, being more, or having more. And when that happens, it's time for a mindset adjustment, a mindset shift, so that they can see how it has stopped them in the past, or what has stopped them in the past, how their brain is running a pattern that is not serving them so that they can move. We can change that, change their neurology, shift their mindset so they can step into being able to do that action or the task or show up on camera or however that is without that baggage behind them that they don't need anymore.

Does the baggage come from a specific period of your life? Is most of the baggage from your childhood? Yeah. Is most of the baggage from other momentous things that happen in your life, or would you— is there a percentage? Is there any way of being able to tell? Really, the majority of us bring our baggage from our childhood.

So here's the fun thing. I believe that the unconscious mind, or the subconscious, creates— has had something happen that is almost like a seed, and it always happens before age 7. So childhood, yes.. And then, for example, as we go through life, there's the spiral. And so that seed which was planted, say, at 5, then becomes— our unconscious mind is seeking proof that that belief that we had at the age of 5 is true. And so it, like, like the sand of grain, grain of sand in an oyster, it starts to encompass it. And so it gets heavier and heavier and heavier. And the more our unconscious mind is seeking throughout our lives for proof that the decision that we made when we were 5 is true, it can exacerbate it and get it bigger and bigger and bigger until all of a sudden you're 41 years old, you're standing in front of a room full of people, and you're bawling your eyes out because of something that had happened when you were 5. Because it's heavy.

It's so interesting when you say that. I think me and maybe all of us who are watching this live or the replay right now are all Going back to when we were 5. It brings us back to that place where we start to think about, gee, what was my life like at 5, 7, those formative years, and how has that informed the way that I think about myself and others at this point? So interesting. I'll try to stay on focus now because my mind is like going back in time, right? We have a tendency to do that when you say that. Yeah. You know, I think in the entrepreneurial space, especially when you're building a business, there's so much coming at us. We have to wear a lot of hats, especially in the early stages of your business. And there is a lot of newness, a lot of new things coming at you. And I can't help but to think, you know, technology is a really big one for a lot of people, you know, our age who are— we didn't grow up with Google. We didn't have the internet. And you have to go out and you have to really often try things and experiment and fail at them. I can't even tell you how many things I've tried and failed at over the last 8 or 9 years. But it's part of the process. And I think a lot of people would benefit from just getting out there and experimenting with things and just trying things. And listen, you're not going to melt if you make a landing page or something or do something that isn't going to work out. But it can be really scary because the work that you put out there is visible for other people to see. And they might look at it and go, well, that's subpar. Or that's not perfect or ideal. So, what are some ways that we can specifically around content and online visibility, some things that we can do to just find the confidence within to still do those things and be seen and put ourselves out there?

Good one. Keep showing up. And you know what I do is I know that many oftentimes because I've seen it. Somebody say, did you see my post? And I'll be like, oh my gosh! I've been too busy doing my own thing, not even seeing your post. And I attempt to go on and, and like and comment on as many friends and people that I know, and I still miss them. So the nice thing is right now there's so many people putting content out there. If we just keep going and just building up that— it's almost like we keep going to the gym. If we keep going to the gym and lifting weights, we can eventually move from the 2-pound to the 5-pound to the 10-pound to and up. And just like building up your mental, your body fitness, building up your mental fitness by going out there and doing the same thing over and over again and proving to yourself, proving to your unconscious mind that you're safe. That even when somebody says something to you and they, they make a comment, you're still, you're still okay. Because remember, we learned this as kids: sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me. And I just allow that to flow through my, my mind. And okay, well, that's there. And then the other part of that is, is Well, that's their opinion, and everybody's got one.

Yeah, I like what you said there about building up your subconscious mind, that, that even though through, through those actions, albeit imperfect in your mind, or, you know, it's not done the way the people that you aspire to be like do it, but you're— it's not really about the process of other people judging your work as much as it is the exercise of you building up your subconscious. I never thought of it that way. And so, that's like you said, an exercise in building your muscles. And so, I can't help but to think the word resilience comes to my mind. And it's funny because I'm having a conversation with a family member about resilience recently. Is it resilience or what is the word or adjective that we might describe that is the singular thing that we're trying to build?

I actually like that word, resilience. And Agility, flexibility. What I also love to see in my clients is neutrality. When something happens, they go, "Yep, that happened. Next." Next.

I love that.

It's gonna happen again.

No, this is great. Those are great words. And I hope that if you're watching right now, maybe those are some words that you can keep within you, or maybe even post those words around you if it helps you to see that, you know, those are the things I'm striving to do. I'm trying to build resilience and agility so that I can build up my subconscious mind. And maybe that's something that will help our viewers. So Suzanne, really excited to also move into a fun thing that we do in these interviews, and that is stop marketing like it's 1999. We all collectively have to market ourselves, obviously. So what is something that is a modern marketing method tool, tip, tactic, or technique that you're using that's really working for you that you'd like to share with our audience?

Oh, that's so fun! I was thinking that question was different. So, I was thinking stop the cold, like stop marketing like 1999. In other words, stop the cold calls. And that's where I was going.

Yes, it could be that. That could be your tip, tool, or technique. Yeah, I'd be like, well, I don't cold call anymore. I do this instead.

Yeah, I don't cold call anymore. I genuinely open up and having conversations with people. Meet with them. Network. I think that networks. Cheryl, you and I met in a networking group. And I love building connections with people through networking. And there was a time many years ago when I first started building my business, my business coach said to me, if you want to build a business, you've got to go out and network. And I said, I don't want to network. I don't. I'm afraid of networking. And she said, then you won't have a business. And so, I muscled through literally to go out and start networking and had a reframe 6 or 7 months into it and realized, hmm, networking is about socializing and meeting new people and not, not worrying about what I'm saying but listening to them. Because who wants to hire a coach that talks all about themselves? You want to hire a coach that's good, who's a good listener. So when I realized I just have to show up and listen, it became fun. And so I recommend that people go out, show up with an open heart and an open mind, and and really truly connect with people.

That's great. Suzanne, thank you so much for coming on Cash In On Camera today and sharing your expertise around imposter syndrome and some real tactical things I think that people could do and utilize to help them reprogram their subconscious mind and help them get out there and be visible. Because really, the truth is you can't build a business in isolation, nor can you build a business by being invisible. If you stay invisible, you will not be able to grow your business. That's just not the world that we live in today. So, really appreciate that. Where people find you. I know I've been showing your website but tell us verbally where people can find you.

Yeah, the best way to find me is to, if you want to connect, let's book a time on my calendar. Book a clarity session. And you can find me at successandclarity.com. And I'm on Facebook. I'm also on LinkedIn. And thank you so much, Cheryl. It's been really fun experiencing your interview style. It's lovely.

Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate the compliment. Thank you so much. And I look forward to connecting with you. I know we're going to be— we are in networking groups and we'll be connecting again. And I appreciate coming on today.

Thank you so much.