From Zero to Full Calendar: How to be a successful networker

We can all agree that networking is uber important when it comes to building your business. And I can think of no better person to have on Cashing On Camera than Michael Whitehouse, who is the guy who knows a guy. So from a branding perspective, you already have my attention and admiration, Michael, because how smart is that? The guy who knows a guy. It's so simple that it works. And we're here today, today to talk about networking and going really from zero, which was where people start, start from zero. But we need to get to that place where we have a full calendar. We want to have a lot of booked calls and we want to get to that place so we can be really successful in our networking. So let's start there. Let's start with a little bit of your backstory and how you became known as the guy who knows a guy.

Sure. So I went from zero to full calendar twice, once in 2014 when I first moved to Groton, Connecticut, and did it in person. And then once again in 2020, when everything went online, I went to a whole different world, a bigger, more exciting world beyond Southeast Connecticut using the same strategies. But the way I became the guy who knows a guy was that in 2014, I started by knowing nobody, but I knew I needed network and I knew where networking happened, if not how. So, you know, it happens at networking events. So I went to all of them. I went to every business after hours, business before hours, business during hours, line cutting, ribbon cutting, hair cutting. I would have shown up for the opening of an envelope. And what I found was in 6 to 9 months later, I was at the place where I was connecting movers and shakers to other movers and shakers. Now, this is partly a New England phenomenon and partly just that you never realize how few people people know, because if they haven't met, they haven't met. So I'd connect to people who, you know, the mayor of this and the owner of that, they lived 10 miles apart for 50 years. They've never met before. And I'd connect them. And suddenly I've lived this area less than a year and I realize I'm making connections. I'm doing something. And it wasn't magic. It wasn't some unique strategy I had. It was simply I was following a system. And partly because I started from zero. When you start from a little bit, you're like, I know people. When you know nobody, you know, you know nobody. It's kind of like how it's better to be fired from a job than have a crummy job. When you have a crummy job, you're like, okay, well, maybe this is okay. When you're fired, you have no job. You know you need a job. I had no network. I knew I needed network. So I wrote it down and I put out this book called The Guy Who Knows a Guy. And I became known as the guy who knows a guy because if you're running a networking event, you're running a chamber of commerce, who would you rather have at your event? The author of The Guy Who Knows a Guy or the guy who knows a guy himself? So that's how I picked up that nickname. But what the real key to it, the major thing I was doing was I was coming to offer value. And partly, as I think back on it, it almost came from a place of insecurity. I was new in the area. I didn't have a business. I didn't have money. I didn't have particular skills. I wasn't a master of anything, but I did have a network. So if I met with you to make it so I didn't feel like I was wasting your time, I'd make a few introductions and then I'd meet with someone else. I'd make a few introductions. And it was mostly out of a place of— as I said, it started from a place of insecurity.. I just wanted to provide some value. And after I did this long enough, I realized the introductions were the value. It wasn't about what I could teach or what I could do or what my business did. I could make connections. And, but it, it starts from the idea of giving without expectation and receiving without resistance. So there's two parts to that. Give without expectation and receive without resistance. I actually figured out the first part pretty well. It was the second part, not knowing that, which made me the best connected Uber driver in Connecticut for a while. You know, I didn't have a business I couldn't monetize, but I was meeting all kinds of people. And that's— so the short answer to how do you fill the calendar is you give without expectation. You make those introductions. When you do that, people are going to want to reciprocate.

But Michael, I want to dig into that a little bit more. Let me dig into that a little bit more. Just the first part, which is to give without expectation. Listen, people are doing networking with an expectation that it's going to lead to something now, or in the medium term, or in the long term. So, there is an ulterior motive laid down behind it. So, how can we be authentically building those connections and filling our calendar from a giving perspective, like from a service perspective and like a networking without expecting anything in return when really, in fact, we do want something in return. You know what I mean? Like, there's like a— it's a tough thing to balance because people, I think for the most part, people who watch this show or, you know, shows of this nature who are like looking at entrepreneurship and business and coaching and that sort of thing, they're doing it because they really believe in what they're doing. They're on a path. They have a passion. They have a mission. They're out there to do good work. But at the underlying of it, they ultimately want there to be some benefit to them.

Yeah. Well, so some of this starts from a mindset point. You got to back back up way before you get to the networking to what you're offering. And I had trouble with this before in my pre-pandemic days. I was selling other people's stuff. I sold printing, I sold cars, I sold insurance, I sold magazine ads. And did I believe in it? Yeah, they weren't bad things. They just, but they weren't life-changing things. So I wasn't a great salesperson because I didn't believe in what I was doing. So I really did think of sales as something I did to someone.. And so then if I went into network to sell them, I was like, I want to take their money and I guess I'll give them some value. But if you're a coach, if you're a trainer or something like that, hopefully you really believe in what you're doing and you're not selling to make money and you're like, I need money. I guess I can coach on this.

I can network here so I can make money. Yeah.

Yeah. If you're, if you're the right kind of coach, you're doing it for the right reasons. I have knowledge. I know how you can clear your mindset blocks. I know how you can improve your marriage. I know how you can whatever. And I need to get paid because I can't be a good coach living in a cardboard box. You know, if I'm spending all my time driving Uber, I can't be spending my time coaching. And if that's your mindset, then you're thinking of it as, as my business is a service. And now my networking concierge business, that's the way I think of it. I— people hire me to make introductions for them. And of course they're going to pay me something that's expected. We'll talk about what it is. They'll say, oh, I kind of like that. So what's it cost? I tell them what it costs.

They say, oh, that sounds good.

But there's no negotiation. We don't have that adversarial, like, all right, so what's it gonna take to get you in this program right now? It's more, I'm gonna help you in this way. You're gonna reciprocate in that way. That way happens to be money. That's how it goes. And so then you take that to networking side. What leads those conversations doesn't come from a place of taking. I'm not coming from a place of, all right, you know, who of your friends can I target as prospects that I can engage in the sales process and put in my funnel? You know, it's more a matter of who can I get into my universe that I can provide value to? You know, my funnel, I mean, I have funnel like everyone else does. You sign up for my— to get my audiobook or my podcast, you get on email list, you're going to get things. Some of those things you can buy. But I see it as this is a place I can stay in touch with people and provide them value. So it's all about thinking about giving that value. I mean, it's kind of like the concept in— I do have it handy— in Bob Burg's The Go-Giver, that your income is based on how much value you create in the world. So you approach it, I'm going to create value. I'm going to give value to the people I meet. I'm going to give value to the people on my email list. I'm going to give value to the people who watch a podcast I'm being interviewed on. It's all about creating that value. And don't worry about how does this action put money in my pocket in the aggregate. And now you do need a monetization path. This is where I stumbled for quite a while.

There needs to be otherwise it's not a business, which happens a lot in the coaching industry too. Like a lot of people who are service driven and then at the end of the day they're not making money because they're not— either don't have again their offer dialed in. So to your point, going back to the beginning and figuring out what it is that you do and how you offer it. But yeah, this happens actually more often than you might imagine. People are like giving, giving, giving, but then they're not— they don't have any kind of structure for receiving in return.

And if you ever have people say, I love what you do, either I love what you do, how can I refer you? Or I love what you do, what can I buy from you? And they're confused and they honestly want to help or support you or become a customer and they don't know how. This is your red flag that you need to stop everything you're doing and fix that. Because if you don't have that set up— and I know because I spent a year and a half not having that in place, and I was connected to everyone, and it laid a great networking groundwork, but it would have been nice to get paid during that time. But I didn't have that groundwork laid. So if you have people who like what you're doing, you're generating positive feelings and good relationships, and people want to make introductions for you, but they don't know how, and they're telling you that, then you need to step back and either work with a coach who can help you or figure it out yourself. You know, what do you— what can people pay you for? And it could be as simple as I charge $250 an hour for coaching services. I charge $1,000 a month for, you know, the simplest way to do is one-on-one coaching and they can pay you through PayPal or Stripe or whatever. It doesn't have to be a course and a system and a university.

I totally—

you got to have something.

And this happens a lot too, where people are Again, we're going on a tangent here because this is taking us a little bit off course. But just let me make this one point. Your offer does not have to be complicated. You don't have to have a complex marketing funnel in place in order to start monetizing. Yes. Michael, question for you about networking. There are networking varying different degrees and kinds and ways to network. One of the— and this is from experience I have participated in and spoken at networking groups where it's the same group of people who are meeting month after month.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Is that as effective, or is it better to think of networking from the perspective of dipping your toes into different kinds of groups periodically? Like, give us a kind of a framework around what are the best types or styles of networking that people should be involved in?

Sure. Yeah. So I actually have a 5-level framework called the— I call NINJA because that's an acronym, because whenever you make an acronym out of ninja, you do.

Of course you do.

Of course. And so, so the first level is networking. Um, that's the N, and that's where you go to an event looking for your clients, looking for your prospects. Uh, and there's a way to do that well without being the creepy pushy insurance salesman type. You can be the friendly insurance salesman type. Um, but it's still— you're looking for your, your customers in the room. Level 2 is introductions. You're looking for introductions to people, to your customers beyond the room. That's what you're talking about. BNI, same people in the room every week. You get to know them and they get to trust you to refer you to customers. That's level 2. Level 3, this is where it really gets interesting, is non-competitive partners. This is where you're not looking for introductions to your customers. You're looking for introductions to your partners who you can have relationship with that can lead to customers. Uh, and, and then level 4 is joint ventures, level 5 is affiliates. Those are more complex. You, you do need systems and structures in place for those. But level 3 is what I always try to get people to, because you can go straight to level 3. Um, and the importance of level 3 is if I meet you at an event and we're talking about who your partners are and who you'd like to collaborate with, I'll connect you to potential partners all day long. Because worst thing that happens, for the most part, is that somebody says, oh yeah, nothing happened there, but It was a nice conversation. If I do a level 2 introduction, if I introduce you to a prospect, worst thing that happens, someone says, Michael, why did you introduce me to someone to pitch me? She was pitching me all day long. I didn't want to hear her pitch. I didn't have time for that. So I'll introduce to potential partners. And if someone's thinking at that level, then I say, ah, I can also introduce you to spaces where you can find more people who are already thinking that way and network at a higher level. So it's not so much about what spaces you're in as what you're doing. Now, obviously you want to be in those spaces. If you're in a space where everyone's looking for their customer, they're not gonna understand the idea of introduce to partners. So you might be able to ask the right questions to draw value for them, but that might be the wrong room. But if you can get to that partner level, then you're gonna meet people who will routinely refer you people and you'll refer them people. And that's part of how you fill the calendar. You get a group of people around you who on a regular basis say, oh, Michael, you know who you should know? You should meet Susie here. Let me send you an email. And this, this will lead to your calendar being filled with— which can create its own secondary problem, which I think we're going to touch on in a moment.

Yeah, exactly. So, you know, it's a good problem to have. Like if you get yourself and you're using all of Michael's methodologies and these 5 steps to really start filling your calendar, it can be almost too much of a good thing because now all of a sudden you have a full calendar, which is the problem you want to have.

Yeah.

But there's a different strategy than Michael when that happens. And I'd love for you to be able to just touch on that briefly. What happens after we filled our calendar?

Then what? Sure. So I had an experience once where I reached out to somebody to have a one-on-one call, you know, one of those exploration, how can we collaborate kind of calls. And they said, oh, I don't do that. I don't have time for the exploration calls. And it's because this person was at a level of fame where A lot of people said, hey, let's explore how we can collaborate. And by collaborate, it was sell you or make you, pitch you on promoting my stuff basically. Okay. So, but I never wanted to be, I never wanted to have to say no because they're 9 out of 10 of them might not be productive calls, but the 10th one could be my next million dollar partner. Who knows? So what I created was simply an open virtual coffee. So if you go to my, my website, you can find a link. And every Friday at 10 AM Eastern time, I open up a Zoom room for an hour and anyone can hop on my calendar— not on my calendar— anyone can go to that link, get access to Zoom room and introduce themselves. And what this did is it created a pressure valve on my calendar because I don't necessarily want to give half an hour to every single person who wants to meet with me because a lot of those conversations are, well, it was nice to meet you. But I have nothing to sell them. They have nothing I need. There's no value in that conversation from a business perspective. But I also don't want to be the guy who's like, I don't have time for you, or I don't know, justify why you deserve a spot on my calendar because that creates a certain energy. So I say for anyone who comes to me, I say, I got an open virtual coffee. Come on in anytime. And The cool thing that happens too is I get to meet them because it's an hour. So if there's 5 or less people, everyone's got 10 minutes to introduce themselves. I can tell them what I got going on. We can see where it goes. And but the cool thing is they get to meet each other. So sometimes, like I had the one last week or a few weeks ago, there was not necessarily a lot of value or, you know, I think relationships may go to something sometime, but it wasn't immediate, like, let's do this together. But two of the people there did similar things in similar spaces and were perfect introductions for each other. So they, they each heard each other's introductions. They exchanged contact information. An introduction got made around me at my— in my room that I didn't have to do anything on. And the other thing was the other person who was there came in and pitched and, and it was, you know, obviously the pitch went nowhere because when you come in and cold pitch a room, it's not going to take you anywhere. No. But it gave the space where I could say, would you like some feedback? And here's some things you might want to do. And you might want to join my Inner Circle program where I can teach you more about how to network and not pitch. Will she join? I don't know. But it didn't take up time on my calendar, so I didn't spend half an hour being like, oh, I lost half an hour to someone pitching at me. But it also provided value to that person because I was able to offer some advice. Whether she'll take it or not is up to her. Oh look, it's my website, and there it is. There's my virtual coffee link right there.

I love it. Yeah, I love about what you just said about the virtual, the open virtual coffee concept too, is that it still allows you to be providing value, building those connections, but then it also is really becoming its own networking unto itself, it sounds like.

Yeah, to some degree. I mean, I don't, I don't encourage people to come on a regular basis because then then it'll be a networking group and not a, not a virtual coffee.

Okay, so you don't want it to become a networking group. You really truly want it to be a place where you can talk about— and I am showing your website here. I want people to know that they can go to guywhoknowsaguy.com to be able to reach out to you and know more about your Friday 10 AM Eastern, uh, open virtual coffee. That's great. Um, but yeah, you don't want it to become a networking group. You really truly want it to stay focused on what the original intent was behind it.

I mean, if somebody were up every 6 weeks, I wouldn't turn them away. Right. I'm happy to chat with them again. I just don't want people to, like, come on a regular— which isn't really a problem. It's— the problem is getting people to come on a regular basis when you want to. So it's never been an issue.

The thing I like about it too is that, again, it's the— it's— it solves the problem. Like you said, a pressure valve, but it solves the problem of now I have so many calls that it's overwhelming. It's taking up a lot of my time. So doing this strategy allows you to leverage your time.

Absolutely.

And it's really smart. I, when you told me that on our intro call, I was like, oh, that's just brilliant. Something I should think about doing too, because I, like you, have been on a lot of those calls. You know, not, not all those calls really lead anywhere. But I also am absolutely a proponent of your number 3 on your NINJA acronym, which is the non-competitive partners. I think that's one of the key levels of, of, of I guess, success or whatever I've achieved even to this point has been probably predominantly based on those noncompetitive partners and those relationships. So, Michael, one of the things that we do on Cash In On Camera is a little segment called Stop Marketing Like It's $19.99. And I would love to know if there's a tip, a tool, a tactic, some technique that's working to help you market for the year we live in.

So automation I have made great use of. And whenever I hear automation, when I say the word, I'm like, who automated? I don't know how that works. Because then I'm thinking about funnels and chatbots and I don't know how any of that works. But there's simple forms of automation. For example, if somebody signs up for a one-on-one or if they sign up for the virtual coffee, I put them into an email sequence. And email number 1 is a quick summary of me and everything I do. Here's my podcast, here's my Facebook group, here's everything in one email, boom. Email number 2 is here's my origin story, how I became a superhero. And then from there, there's a big old unsubscribe link. So you don't want any more, click here, you're out. Or if they don't unsubscribe, then they will get my other offers and sequences and whatnot. But the value that has is they now have some familiarity with me. And if they're as busy as I am, they don't have time to do background checks, searching through the LinkedIn and whatnot. It's great to do that. I don't have time for it. But if I get an email that's like, here's a quick summary of me. Oh, cool. Here's what I need to know. So there's things with automation you can do. I also have a sequence that once a week or so, when you're on my list, once a week or so, you get an email. First you get email 1, then 2, then 3, introducing you to TEDx talks, podcasts, books, programs, evergreen stuff. But once a week, here's something valuable I've run across, and that's automated. So if you sign up right now, you'll get the first one. If you signed up a year ago, you would've gotten the first one then, you'd be on the 50th one now. And that way I just need to write one email a week and the people who are on that get continuously served. So there's a lot of places where you can put robots to work for you. You know, Calendly is a base example of that to do the work so you can maintain a relationship and engagement without having to keep track of thousands of people and everything with there. And it works remarkably well to maintain that connection and I'll get an email back from someone 6 months later that I haven't talked to. And we didn't— we hit it off well enough but didn't go anywhere. They get it. They respond to a random email. They say, hey, yeah, Michael, you do such and such, right? Because we should talk about that now. Just because I stayed in their universe.

Yeah. Because at that moment when they first join your, let's say, email list, they're in a different place and things evolve. As we know, things change very rapidly in this space and that where somebody is on day one can be very different than where they are in month 6.

Yeah, or I'm in a very different place.

Yeah, yeah. Well, Michael, this is great. Thank you so much for coming on the show today. We really appreciate your insight. I love your NINJA acronym. I love everything that you shared, and I'm happy to know the guy who knows a guy.

Yeah, and I'm happy to know you as well.

Thank you so much.