How to Outgrow Fear and Grow Your Business

Consultant, an entrepreneur, you need to grow your business. Otherwise, it's a hobby, right? But growing a business comes with its fair share of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of ridicule, fear of— name the list. I mean, you could have a little checklist of all the things that we're fearful of, and it holds a lot of people back. Today we have Elle Nagy here to talk about fear and how we can eliminate that, how we can outgrow fear so that we can grow our businesses. Elle, So great to have you here. You're known as the Fear Maven, which I love. Tell us how you got briefly, you know, tell us how you got into this line of work.

Oh my goodness. So in the personal development space and the mindset, I call it for close on 30 years, Cheryl, but the turnaround for me came probably 10 years ago when I did my very first Ironman event. And I'm petrified of water. After a near drowning as a child, I just never learned how to swim. But a friend sent me an Ironman video, and when I heard in the video, "John, you are an Ironman," something just went, "I was born an Ironman!" And so I entered. I had a look at what it was, and it was like, holy shit, I'm going to swim for like 3.8 kilometers in the ocean. And, um, I had to really lean into this. And, you know, I went to coaches and none of them could help me. They all said no, this is impossible, too short a time, because it was months. And I just kept going, but if I want to be an Ironman, I must, I must do be able to do this. And, um, even the morning of the event, I couldn't get into the the ocean. I couldn't warm up with the athletes. I was just absolutely beyond terrified. But when that cannon went, I was like, this is what I was born to do. I remember literally 2 hours 15 minutes late, dragged my sorry ass out of the water. It was just this voice and it said, 'And you'll feel as your freedom.' And it profound, and there was so much into it that I paused. I was like, okay, let me get to the rest of the event now. And then the next 10 years, I wanted to understand, I wanted to understand why behind my fear. What is this fear all about playing out in us? Well, our world today, discovered that there are main tribes that we are all conditioned with, we have been for thousands of years, that's literally the story of our current society. Really good news is, guys, that consciousness has evolved. Now we have a choice: are we going to continue on the fear frequency, judgment against it, because you're still evolving consciousness through that choice, Or are you one of the pioneers of consciousness ready to outgrow trouble, fear, and thereby tap into divine love and start creating from there? And so, yes, I love—

I love that you are attacking this topic from the perspective of consciousness and the evolution and the upleveling of consciousness in the world because You know, your specialty, as you said, is tribal fear consciousness. And, and I think a lot of us maybe feel like this world is going wild and there's so many different things going on. Like, all of that is tied into where we're going from a consciousness perspective. And so when it comes to fear, though, and you gave a great example of that stemmed from many, many years ago with the Iron Man, I feel the same way about some of the things that I experienced in my mid-teens. Like, I just was painfully shy as a child.. And for some reason, a voice inside me started to speak to me at around the age of 15 that told me that my destiny was not what I was being led to believe based on my circumstantial situation at home. I don't know where it came from. It was a voice or a calling or something inside of me that said, you must go and face these fears. You must go and do these things. That seem out of character, don't seem like you belong in those areas, right? So things like, you know, getting on stages, modeling, pageantry, public speaking, hosting a TV show when I was 18, you know, all these different things were completely out of character for me, but I was being called to do it, and I did. And I actually wrote that about it in a book that I was— a compilation book that I was in about fear and saying yes. So I pull— I 100% agree that you have to, you have to be able to find, you know, figure out how to face those fears. Otherwise, you risk staying the same and at the same level. But yet it's easy to say, it's easy to just spout those words and say, oh, just face your fears. Talk to us about how we can pragmatically actually attack those fears so we can grow.

I want you to face your fears and I don't want you to attack them. It's like you need to change the whole story. Fear is on your side. Fear wants you to grow. Fear is my best friend. You know, I always go, Fear darling, that kind of like drops the little nugget for me to follow into my greatness I am becoming and who I have become. And single fear, I call them your demons. And people think that demons are scary, demons are evil, and demons are all the kind of things, you know, that we've been told. But the demons adore you, and each one is a treasure of personal growth for you. And when you stop making the demon your enemy and you welcome it into conversation, go, hey, friend, submit to me the gold. Who do I get to be through outgrowing you? Who do I become by watering this and allowing it to be in me? That's how you outgrow the fear, and it becomes a love relationship.

It becomes a love relationship with fear, and I You said something there that caught my attention in that it's a gift. Is fear a gift? And how, how is fear a gift to us?

Fear is in terms of it holds the secrets to all of your exponential understanding as well, that fear was never the end. Like, fear is normal. But tribal shunning is not. That is what society really— stuck in a conversation where fear is the enemy and has to come and they have to feel the fear and do it anyway. The fact of the matter is, if that worked, we would live in a fearless society already, which means it's not working. Means we have to be willing to have a different approach. Like any emotion, is just a messenger. It's an indication of how aligned are you with your inner being, with your Oneness as evolved through your life experience. So when people go, "Well, I have a voice that's guiding me," it's like, "Yeah, baby, you're a human being." You're a human being, not a human doing. Being. There's more to you than meets the eye. Being is your consciousness, which is a part of universal consciousness. Human is having the experience that's really evolving within us. When we start bringing these into alignment and allowing ourselves to be guided by this inner compass, then we start to understand that all the tribes tribal things that we've been conditioned to believe is what's causing that fear, because it's an indication that it's out of agreement with what your being knows to be true. So I say, we don't even have to do something that scares us anymore, that is tribal consciousness, but we can do something that excites us every day, that's love consciousness. Consciousness. So it might seem like little, but everything is in the details.

So, Elle, I want to present this from the perspective of business growth, since a lot of the listeners and viewers of this podcast are entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants, business owners, and they want to grow their business. Let's just say, for example, a scenario where it's a new entrepreneur, someone who is new to growing their business. They don't know what they don't know. There's a lot to learn. There's marketing, there's sales, there's all these different skills that we have to develop. Now, we have to also get out there and be seen and be known. And it's just all these things that entrepreneurs need to do, especially solopreneurs, which is typically the beginning of the process. And there are a lot of unknowns. So, people tend to want to emulate other people that they see because they don't trust themselves yet to step into this role because they don't know what to do. What advice do you have for, let's say, early-stage business owners who know they should be doing things but they're not sure what it is and they feel absolutely terrified and overwhelmed what are some steps that they could take to help themselves?

I think the very first thing is to understand that, hey, you think you're building a business? No, no, no, no, no, no. You are called to entrepreneurship for personal growth and evolution that's going to blow your mind. That is really what entrepreneurship is. It's the most extraordinary journey of persons and the business is just a tool. Like, I talk tools a lot, and don't get confused with what's really with the tools and the toys and how we get to express it in the world in, in 3D. But if you have said yes to business, what you've actually said yes to is, hell yes, I am so ready to evolve. Ready to start using my creativities to get to know myself on a level that I've never known myself before. And when you start understanding that and you just spin a little bit— guys, can I say the F word on this stream?

Yes, I'm not gonna stop you. I'm not gonna stop you.

You cannot fuck this up. Like, you literally cannot fuck up your life even if you tried. Everything in your life is moving you forward. Everything in your life is growing and evolving. So my first piece of advice is take pressure off that, oh my God, I can't dare to fail because I fail, everything is just going to be like, oh, this whole lot. No, honey, we all fail all the time. We fail. So the more you relax this and start having fun and kind of go, oh, I'm back in the playpen and I'm going to have fun like a child, and what happens if I do this and what happened if I do that? And be unattached to outcome and rather go, what am I learning all the time? Oh, look, if I do this, I get— oh yeah, I want that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, more of that. And if I do this— ah, okay, no, did not like that. Like, let's not do that again. However, if you're like me and most of my people, we are so resilient like screw it up again and again and again and again and again until we find the thing that is like jam, like peanut jam, baby. And then life becomes really fun, and you'll start having fun with your business. Because here's the thing, whatever you're bringing to your business today— and, and I get it, to pay the bills and, and when you kind of go, it— everybody's like, they've got like a million followers, goodness, I'll never be there. But like, whatever that is, like, let it go. Just let— you're not gonna have fun like that because now I was smacked back in. And guess what you're doing? Getting a frequency, a vibration here in your business, and action that you take is going to create more fear, and people feel that. Now, those who are addicted are going to gravitate towards you. Yeah, I feel in your space because I'm scared too. And let me tell you that when you work with those people, it's like everything in your gets multiplied, right? Like You, when you don't sort out this shit, like, life will give you the mirror of what's inside of you, and it's just an option. Do I want to continue like this? Do I want to slow down to speed things up? Your greatest asset is your emotions. Your greatest asset is your emotions, and you really need to start connecting to your emotions and paying attention to what— because when people come to me that they are going to grind themselves into a code because they'll destination happiness but they hate the journey, I'm like, no, honey, your train's going. Like, you can't, you can't have a horrible journey and think you're going to have destination, happiness, it's not gonna happen. So check in every single day, sure that you take care of you. You know, I get up between 4 and 5 in the mornings. My self-care takes approximately 2 to 3 hours before I face the world because I set the tone for the rest of my day. Why would I not 2 to 3 hours in setting the exact tone that I want to emotionally bring into my world. Once you've set that tone, you, and you go, what is the aligned action today? Like, I know what the vision is. I know that the moment I've connected to the vision, it's already done. What will it feel like when I'm there, and feeling you take action. Because if you— when I'm there, it feels safe and creative and luxurious and proud and connected and fulfilled. If you are then taking action, I'm scared to hustle, I'm exhausted, this is terrible, what if they judge me, you are really just yourself out of the game and you're not going to have— and then you might as well just go back to corporate because fun having a job, then entrepreneur. Entrepreneurship is experimentation, growth, doing something unique, being willing to fail in public, and you have to stop giving a damn about what what people think of you. Because here's the thing, you think that people are sitting there going, oh my God, did you see what I'm wearing? Did you hear what she said? We have to stop the world, everybody has to like crucify Al. No, darling, you're not that important. People are carrying their own lives. They might see you and go, ah, bitch, and carry on. You're not obsessed about tomorrow. Then on to the next and the next person and the next person. Play with people that play. Play with people that kind of go, "Oh man, did you just fall flat on your face? Me too! Get up, let's keep on playing!" Be dead, be fun, have shenanigans. Work in the way you want it to.

You know what, El? I've always believed that growing a business is far and away the best form of personal development that you can ever put yourself through. However, I never made the connection between that and fear until today. And how you just described that and explained that made me realize, oh, that's why it is. That's why it's the biggest form of personal development. I've always known it to be true because I've been through it. And I do feel that I've grown exponentially since I started to— not even when I started my business, but when I thought about starting my business, which was 4 years before I ever did it. So, from the moment I had an idea or thought, was thinking ahead to what will it be like when I do it, not if I do it, but when I do it. And lo and behold, you know, it did take time, but it did eventually happen. That whole journey from around 2013 to today is, is a journey of personal development. And, and self-actualization, I know, is really important to you, and that's something that you help people with as well through your work, um, in, in, you know, in Tribal Fear Consciousness and helping people to, you know, face those— not face the fears, but like you said, almost really embrace it and, and own it, as opposed to how we're typically conditioned to deal with it in society.

Yeah, and I want to say this is natural. The moment I had the idea of a business, it was done, because the idea only came after it was already created inside of you. And when we start connecting to that, not about our future self, we're not growing into Alf, we are, we literally already, the being has already become successful self and we are just finding greater alignment with the fullness of who we actually are. Not a future thing, like in the moment that woman. You don't believe it yet, and so you're finding greater and greater alignment, allowing for the fullness of who you are, because you are already that really successful, influential, impactful, dynamic, magnetic being. We say it's your calling, but the calling is: are you willing to obey the call of your being, your genius, of your soul, by not obeying the call of tribal fear? That is the journey that people are on at the moment.

Agreed. It's the, the business is a vehicle, and that's the biggest thing I'm taking away today, right? The business is a vehicle to something far greater than just the business. And, and that was an epiphany for me as you explained that. So thank you, I appreciate that. I think so do our viewers and listeners. El, I want to ask you about a tip, tool, tactic, or technique that you use to help you market yourself as part of our Stop Marketing Like It's 1999 segment. What is something that's really working for you right now to get out there and promote and market the Fear Maven?

Being true to who I am, just being me. And I want to explain, I really fell prey to the marketing shenanigans of being, oh, Al, you 'You can't say that,' or 'You have to dumb it down. You have to speak like a 5-year-old. You can't— people won't understand what you're saying.' And the more I did that, the worse my business was doing. Because even when I were attracting people, oh my God, they were hard work. It is like working, respect, 5-year-old, because I was speaking like a 5-year-old. The moment I gave myself permission, well, actually, I don't work with 5-year-olds. I am full of shenanigans. No sense, because I don't speak to the logic of the mind. I speak to your heart and soul. Only way for me to get there is to bypass your logical mind. The more I started attracting my real soul clients, and they all go, oh my God, you're just as crazy as me, Fee. Somebody who gets me. Finally somebody that I don't have to explain myself to. And I, I know that you don't make sense, but I feel I had to give myself permission to do me, to be me. Now it doesn't mean that everybody has to sound crazy and to do like, you know, what I do. When you kind of go, well, who am I really? Not as, oh, look at me, I'm like a person here and then I'm a mess over here. And then like, who are you really? How do you speak? When you meet me in the street, this is still what I live, this is still what I sound like. Why would that not be good enough for your true soul clients?

I agree.

If it means that you lose 99% of people, fantastic! 99% is not your people. And start understanding there is no competition, there's no competition. Your clients are your sole clients and their clients are their sole clients. And the more authentic we are being, the more we are serving our service. To everybody. Just be you, baby. That's what today is all about. You do you. What feels good to you? Because the moment that you do anything other than that, you're back in fear. But what if it doesn't work? But honey, what if it does?

'Be you, baby.' I'm like, I have a whiteboard behind me here. I'm gonna write that actually at the very top. I'm gonna write 'be you, baby' as a reminder that it's okay. It's okay to be weird and odd and quirky and whatever it is that you are in terms of the qualities of your personality. Because I come from broadcasting and I think in broadcasting, it's like they want you to have a little bit of personality. They want you to be yourself a little bit but not too much. So I think I've been indoctrinated into that thinking. I need to do more of that, right? So I'm going to write that down. Maybe everyone listening and watching will do the same. Put a little sticky note or something near your desk that says, "Be you, baby." I just love that. Elle, I want people to know where they can go and learn more about you. I'm going to put up your website on the screen. Tell us how they can connect.

Yeah, absolutely. Connect with me on my website, shenyu.ca. Or else on, um, on YouTube, on LinkedIn. I love connecting with— please don't follow me, actually, me. I still love having conversations and coffees and getting with— from my soul to yours. Um, absolutely, you know, this, right? Even on my website, every word is written, not a copyright. Every word message to your soul. And that is how I want to connect to you. I don't want to connect to your mind. I want to connect to your heart and I want to connect to your human to human. We're all in this together. One team, baby. Team humanity.

I love it. And that's how we actually, we ended up connecting through Christine Campbell Rappin because we were both part of her summit. And then that's how we connected. We've been chatting on LinkedIn and We had a great conversation and here you are. So, I know how open and generous you are and you've made introductions. You are definitely someone who I say thank you so much and you definitely are somebody who is a helper. You're out there to support people and to help them. So, here we have one more, one comment here. So, Yvonne says, I love that. Be you, baby. Period. Love it.

You're gonna have a t-shirt made for that.

That's fantastic. I love it. Elle, thank you so much for coming on the show. I really appreciate your, your candor and your expertise and your insights around fear and how we can outgrow it to grow our business. And I really appreciate you being on the show today.

Thank you. Oh, thanks, Cheryl. It's been such an amazing pleasure. I love your work, by the way. Just shout out to Cheryl, everyone.

Yeah, thank you. I appreciate it. I'll talk to you soon.