Shifting the Paradigm: The Rise of Femme Leadership with Jen Szpigiel

Did you know that 42% of all U.S. businesses are owned by women? And that number equates to 13 million women-owned businesses. That is according to the National Women's Business Council annual report. And so today, we're going to dive into fem leadership and talk about women in business. And no better person than Jen Spiegel to be here to talk about this. She is from Becoming Iconic. And we're going to dig in into the realm of women in business today. Jen, so great to have you here on Cash In On Camera. I'd love for you to start this conversation around how did you get into this line of work in the first place?

Mm, that's a great question to start with because I was a part of that narrative that women had to choose. I had to choose to be an exceptional mom or I got to choose to be a career woman. And I was at that crossroads. I'd had my first baby and I didn't have any evidence of a woman doing it all. And there were a lot of narratives, stories that I was falling into. And naturally I chose my daughter. That was a really easy choice. Um, but in that choice, I lost a portion of myself. And so entrepreneurship was never on my radar. I had never heard of it. I didn't have anybody in my family or in my experience who had done entrepreneurship. So when I understood what this could mean, it clicked for me. I thought, what if as a woman, as a mom, I can have the best of both worlds. I can build something and strive for goals and to make impact in the world and have presence with my family. And that was 17 years ago. I've been raising babies and businesses ever since.

I love the alliteration of that as well. I think that is something that we all as women and especially mothers aspire to do is we do believe that we can have it all. Or maybe we need to be taught to learn that we can have it all. And we want to be able to balance those things, babies and businesses. I think it makes a lot of sense. And so since that time, 17 years ago, you have created multiple 7-figure businesses in this space and you have an agency and you have a magazine and all kinds of wonderful things have come about. But I'd love for us to go back to that point in time, back into, say, 17 years ago when you were getting started. How did the whole concept of becoming iconic really land on your lap, or did it land in your lap? Was it something that happened over the course of time? How did this all come to be?

Well, it was actually just as early as 2020. I had built a massive personal brand using my name and it had grown into something absolutely spectacular. But I knew I was being asked and called into something bigger, into building a legacy, a company, especially being a mom of 4 now. It was beyond me. This was, this was going to have global impact. And so, I was sitting with what would I call a company? I didn't wanna call it by my name. And the word iconic just kept coming in, kept coming in, kept coming in. And I really resisted it. I didn't resonate with the word. And I thought, you know, Oprah's iconic, Beyoncé's iconic, Jenn Spiegel isn't that all that iconic. And I also wondered if women would resonate, 'cause if I wasn't, would somebody else? But it was when I paired it with the word becoming and this pursuit of fulfillment, this idea that every day we wake up and become a better version of ourselves, move forward towards our visions and our dreams, that it clicked for me. And so Becoming Iconic was born and it hit the ground running.

So this, this idea of Becoming Iconic really conjures image of journey and story and journey and pathway, you know, a game plan, etc. And I think that's really sometimes lost in the world of entrepreneurship because a lot of women go into this thinking, well, I, I'm going toward that particular goal and I'll only be successful when I reach the goal. I don't know about you, Jen, but for me, I feel like we have to embrace the journey of getting to the ultimate goal as being part of the process, because it isn't— you don't snap your fingers and then become at that place. It's becoming that person is a journey. What, what has been your experience with the people that you've worked with and that you've mentored in that in that specific aspect of business building.

It's, it's a really great reflection because I think a lot of people are waiting to feel ready. I think this is one of the worst things that can happen for potential. It's like, when I feel more confident, then I will, or I'm only making this amount of money, so who's gonna believe in my expertise, or when I have more clients, then I'm gonna feel more validated. And so we're always waiting for things outside of ourselves to prepare us or get us going into action. And one of the things I love to teach is that that preparedness rarely comes first. It's you having the willingness to step into this dream, this vision, this aspiration you have, and trusting yourself. And that trust comes from moving, from doing the thing you said you want to do. And then as you do that and start to, you know, have these rewards drop in, you start to really build your posture and feel that confidence and feel that readiness. But it rarely comes first. And I feel like Most people in life sit on the sidelines wondering, anticipating, hoping, but are not willing to get in and get their knees dirty and maybe scuffed a little bit as you start to learn leadership and build yourself into the person that can hold that big business goal aspiration.

When you talk about becoming iconic and femme leadership, do you equate that to a revenue goal, or what is your definition of what that means to be finally or becoming a femme leader?

So it has little to do, if anything, to do with money. Now, do I love that we have access to wealth in a way that we never have in history? Absolutely. I'm an advocate for women to become wealthy because I truly believe wealthy women will make the world a better place. I believe that. However, that's not the be-all and end-all to success. And we give way too much emphasis over to income and this urgency. We had to make it yesterday instead of, again, like what you had just said, enjoying this journey and allowing yourself to grow up into success. So iconic to me is being able to look in the mirror and say, I am contributing, I am doing the best I can, I'm committed to my growth, I have presence with the people I care about, I am caring for myself, and I am willing to do audacious things in my life. That to me is iconic. And if that means as a stay-at-home mom, Fantastic. If that means as a career woman in corporate, fantastic. If that means in entrepreneurship, fantastic. But I just really desire for women to start playing a little bit and being curious about capacity, because for far too long we have dimmed down and held ourselves back from really seeing our potential. And that's the power of femme leadership. That's— once you understand it and get a taste for it, there's no turning back. But Too many haven't tasted it yet.

I think the reason that maybe not enough people have tasted it yet is because they might not have or feel like they have the support around them to help them move in that direction, whether that be a husband, a partner, family, whatever that situation is or that circumstance around themselves. So what say you about the support that's needed in order for you to become iconic and to become really step into the leadership role, whether at home or in business, that you desire and that you deserve.

Yeah, I have a couple of podcasts coming out on this because this is a common one. How many people feel held back by someone who isn't supporting them? And that can look in a variety of different ways. And I understand it because I lived a journey where I had a lot of people who were not supportive, who felt like I was biting off more than I could chew and really wanted me to be comfortable for their sake, not for my own sake. And it's not an easy road and an easy journey. So I just want to honor that, you know, this is not a simple fix, but I had a mentor say to me once that changed my life. He said, "You can respect somebody's opinion, but you do not have to accept somebody's opinion." And it was specifically in response to a question from a woman who raised her hand and said, "I have so much to give. I know I'm on the right path. I know I'm supposed to do this thing, but my spouse just is rolling his eyes or poking at me or making, you know, sarcastic comments, telling me not to tell people about it, saying you're not even making any money. I just don't have any, like, belief coming in from him. What do I do? And I loved that response because what that taught me was I can hear somebody out who isn't supportive. I can hear their concern, their fears, their hesitations. That's relationship. But I don't have to accept that as my own. I don't have to accept that as my outcome. And as a matter of fact, a relationship to me gets to be two individuals who thrive and do all they can do in life and cheer each other on and applaud each other. And actually, maybe, maybe if you follow through and do the thing you said you were gonna do, he or she will rise to the occasion. And I don't think we give our partners enough, I guess, benefit of the doubt. You know, we're just kind of stuck in the stickiness. Instead, do the thing and let them rise alongside of you because your example will be the best thing they've ever witnessed.

One of the best responses that I heard, and I too join masterminds and have coaches and things like that over the course of many years being at this, about 10 years now that I've been doing marketing, is that if someone is not supportive of what you want to do, you can respectfully say, I hear you. I hear what you're saying. But let me just try this. It might fail. 'But let me just try it. Let's just see,' you know, so that you can almost divert that, that energy away and just say, you know, 'Listen, you, you might be right. Who knows?' But it allows you then to be able to go and still take that path while not putting down their opinion about what it might be. And I just think that's a really important thing. You, you still need to follow your heart and what you're being called to do. And I think that women especially have a lot of desire in their hearts to want to do good in the world without having that— always that support there behind them. So how do we know then that what we're being called to do inside of ourselves is worthy of pursuing? Let's say in business, especially since we're in this, uh, the Cashing on Camera podcast is mostly business consultants, coaches, and entrepreneurs who are looking to build and grow. How do we know that we ought to listen to that tugging on our heart and pursue it despite the fear?

Well, I don't know if we ever really know for sure. I think life is risk. I mean, when I got married, it's like, you know, you don't want to assume it's going to end in a separation or a divorce. There's a level of risk in saying yes. Same when I decided to have children. I never really felt totally ready. I wasn't sure. There's never a perfect time or perfect day, but you do it and you hold that baby and you don't look at the baby and go, well, we'll see how this goes. And if it doesn't work out, I mean, we don't do these things in life. And so I think there's some fun that gets to partner with this tug on your heart, like have a little bit of a lightness about it. Don't take everything so seriously. And the best way to know if this is a good idea or not is to simply ask yourself, is this something I can't get off my heart? Is this really, you know, something I'm losing sleep over, I wake up thinking about, I'm Am I finding myself naturally talking to other people about it? And if that's the case, I think that's a pretty good indication there's something there that you could offer. And again, going back to what you said earlier in the try, I think try got a really bad reputation. People are like, you will or you won't, there is no try. I understand that philosophy, but I also think there's some, just some, and you know, I guess an invitation through trying of just giving it an attempt. And sometimes we do something maybe that we thought was the right thing, isn't, but it put us on the trajectory for something that was. It has this really cool way of molding us and shifting us along a path that we didn't even expect. So your worst case scenario is you learn more about yourself and you have great lessons and you grow your leadership. Your best case scenario is you did the very thing you were supposed to be doing, and then either direction, you've won.

That's so true. I think about all the lessons that I have learned, and I always say that entrepreneurship is the greatest form of personal development you'll ever put yourself through. I mean, you will learn so much about yourself through this process, especially when you're in the early stages and you're growing. So I know you've mentioned leadership a couple of times here, but when someone's starting their business out at the very, very beginning, leadership is not even really a part of that equation quite yet because they have to really nail sales and marketing before we can start building a team and leading a team and things of that, uh, things like that. So when it comes to marketing, what is the path, the best path that people can follow that is really going to help them become iconic but still stay ethical to their beliefs and their values In a world right now where there's so much going on with marketing and we see people, I don't know about you, but I talk to a lot of people who are just, they're on this hamster wheel of content creation for really no intent. And there's no strategy behind it. There's doing the thing that they see other people doing. And then you have to bring them back down to earth and say, okay, we need to have a better marketing plan here. It's just not working for you.

Yeah, yeah. And then we have a lot of— talk about femme leadership— we have a lot of women who are doing bro marketing. I mean, we're having this like, we're women, we're rising, we're becoming liberated, we're becoming wealthy, and yet we're just going right into the bro marketing of, you know, designer bags, red-bottom shoes, private jets, throwing our income out constantly. I mean, there's so much of that right now. It's so toxic. It's unfortunate. But I do believe people only do the best with what they know in this moment, so I do give them the benefit of the doubt. I do understand that, you know, right now this is what they know and this is how they're— it's coming through. They will learn the lesson. You know, you've been doing this for 10 years, I've been doing this for 17 years. I had that moment too. We all do. We go through that like hype moment where we think that's what's going to attract. And what I can tell you for sure after 17 years, and I have a degree in marketing and it's just what I've always done is the more of you, you can give through your marketing, the word authenticity comes through and it's unfortunate we both use that word. I think it's lost its potency in certain ways, but it doesn't take away its potency at the same time. Being yourself, offering yourself through the journey, not needing to prove yourself to anyone, but allowing your example, the way you show up to be the evidence and proof and knowing that that is exactly what people want. Is the best spark to exceptional marketing. It has very little to do with how much money you're making or the things you own, and has everything to do with integrity, the willingness to be vulnerable, and the willingness also to have the audacity to say, "I know something, and I have the skills or the expertise to show up and teach you how to do something similar." And so there's, there's this like almost polarity of humility met with audacity, and that can feel uncomfortable because It's like, which one is it? I say it's both. And when you can start doing both and playing with both, that's when I think marketing becomes really rich and inviting and magnetic.

Yes. I think staying away from, as you said, the bro marketing concept of look at me in my red bottom shoes and I just bought my Gucci bag and da da da, you know, all those types of things. It can seem really desperate, I think, sometimes.. And what I love is taking a step back and saying, how can I demonstrate, to your point, demonstrate my expertise? And maybe there are, there's a specific marketing channel that would work better for you in order to do that demonstration of your expertise. But taking a step back and being humble, maybe even a little bit self-deprecating, maybe even a little bit you know, more of the authority, more of a thought leader, I think, of what it is that you do. It's a more elegant way, and I think a lot of women gravitate more toward that because, to your point, it feels more real and authentic because it has a nurturing sort of aspect to it, which I think comes by— we as women come by that naturally.

Yeah, that's that feminine energy, that feminine power that so many are not tapping into, and we all crave it. It's all— you hear so much of that right now, like feminine energy, feminine energy. But we swung this pendulum so far the other way now where it's just so misused and skewed and almost in a way unattractive, which is so unfortunate because feminine energy is so divine and so compassionate and so loving. It's our superpower.

And isn't it also vulnerable? Let's just talk about the place of vulnerability within the marketing. Where, where can that play in?

Storytelling. Everybody loves storytelling. I love a good story. Tell me how you were in a similar place that I am today, how you overcame that, the lessons you learned, what the journey was like, what I have to look forward to. I think so much of the marketing is pain point selling. It's all about like, let's continue to put focus on what's hurting you. Like you're not making enough money, you want to lose weight. Like we're constantly focusing on those things. I, stand for and why I built my agency and a part of who I am with every client that I encounter. It's visionary. That's the way to market is like, what's possible? How would it feel if you had more money at the end of the month? How would it feel to be comfortable in your clothes? That's how we, you know, open someone to possibility, not by constantly reminding him and her of what they don't have or what they want to have. That's not That's not even ethical in certain ways. I just think that again, we have to be really careful about how we are doing it, but also I think it's important that the people listening in and participating also take responsibility in this. What are you participating in? Are you listening to someone who is perpetuating that pain for you, or are you being with or along with someone who is empowering you? The feelings will be different, and you get to have a beautiful experience when someone is sharing, marketing, and selling to you. That gets to feel good for both people.

Yeah, I agree. And people are, again, to your point, people who are marketing by putting in the, you know, stabbing that pain and twisting the knife and, and, and that sort of thing. I think it's been so overdone. And now people who find people who are being authentic and who are being more nurturing and the glass is half full and empowerment and things of that nature make people feel like, wow, this is a real standout. It makes you stand out because most of the marketing that's out there is about the pain points. Now listen, having said that, you do need to help people see what the pain is that they're going through in order— and we start talking about sales and things like that. But I think there is definitely a place for that empowerment. And the nice thing about women entrepreneurs is that we can tap into our own selves just naturally. It's within you. That that piece is already within you, but you might have been lured by other people that are doing things a certain way and you're trying to copy them rather than just going inside of yourself and saying, what feels natural to me and how I show up in the world?

Right.

So I love that. Jen, I want to ask you, what is a tip, a tool, a tactic or technique that's really helping you to market yourself? I know you had your personal branding journey and then it brought you to Becoming Iconic, but What's really working for you right now in terms of marketing yourself or your agency?

It's staying in my lane, 100%, because you did, you just spoke about it. And I think everybody can attest that we are such a world of consumption and in consumption we're comparing. And then what we're doing is, I think without even really realizing it, we are duplicating or copying somebody else with good intention. Again, I understand where it's coming from, but we don't need another Jen from Becoming Iconic. We don't need another Cheryl. We don't need another Sally. We need you. And so what happens is, if you do consume, let that be sparks of inspiration. Let that show you something and spark creativity in you. But you've got to sit with things, discern, and say, is this right and correct? How could I do this in my own way? Invent something unique and special and stay focused on you and what you have to offer the world. Because I firmly believe right now, this very second, there is somebody in the world praying for something that you have to offer them. There's someone saying, "If only someone could help me learn how to love sales. If only there was someone that could help me design this house. If only there was someone." So if you can understand that there's someone praying for the answer that you hold, it will help you remove this idea that you need to be like anyone else and instead hold you accountable to showing up and being seen and being heard and being felt. Those 3 things. And that can only happen when you have that laser vision on who you are and what you have to offer.

Yes, staying in your lane is, is so important. And it's difficult when you're first starting out because you are to some degree trying some things. You know, you are throwing a bit of spaghetti at the walls and you're just trying to find your way in the world. But at some point, hopefully through mentorship, which I think we're both proponents of, through mentorship it can help you see that when is the right time to really start to decide I'm going to really start going down this path and this is my lane and I'm going to stay within it. And then go deep, you know, go deep down that lane. So thank you so much, Jen. This has been fun. I want to give you an opportunity to tell people how they can reach out to you and I'll put your website up on the screen. Tell us the URL. Tell us what we can find there.

Well, thank you. I really appreciate that generosity and I appreciate being here with you. So Becoming Iconic is pretty easy to find across all social platforms. It's Becoming Iconic. The website is becomingiconic.co. It hosts my boutique. There's a magazine that I'm really proud of. The magazine is called Becoming Iconic. Think of it like Forbes meets Vogue. So for anybody who is in leadership, especially women, this is just a gorgeous magazine. You can download the digital copy for free or you can subscribe. And then I do have the podcast Becoming Iconic, which is a top-rated podcast across all platforms. Happy to serve people through that. And again, it's free. You just have to have the intention to go subscribe and listen. But there's lots of ways of finding me and I always love meeting new people. So the invitation is wide open.

I know we're connected on LinkedIn. That tends to be the place I'm hanging out the most right now as well. And so love what you're doing with the podcast, with the magazine, with the agency. Love your message. More women can rise to fem leadership and we need that type of work in the world. I mean, we're in a place right now in the world where we can just We need more of that feminine energy, that authentic energy to permeate, you know, all of the, the things that we desire out of life. So thank you so much, Jen, for being here. We really appreciate it.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you. And just a reminder for those of you who are watching the podcast right now, if you are watching the video, you can connect with me by taking a picture of the QR code on your screen. That will take you to my signature card, and there you'll find all of the up-to-date links of things I'm working on, projects, speaking opportunities. And if you want to connect with me, all my socials are linked there as well. If you are listening to the podcast, you can find me on all the socials at Cheryl Plouffe, and you'll find that same signature card in the bio. Thank you so much for being here today and learning from Jen on Shifting the Paradigm: The Rise of Femme Leadership. And I hope to see you again on Cash In On Camera in the next episode. Bye for now.