What If Nobody Likes Me? How To Show Up With Courage with Paula Telizyn

In this live‑stream interview, host Sheryl Plouffe talks with solopreneur and artist Paula Taliesin about the deep‑seated fear of being judged and how it blocks people from showing up on camera and in business. Paula traces the root of the fear to childhood conditioning to conform, recounts personal stories of being terrified to share art, writing, and video, and explains how the first public appearance is always the hardest. Both hosts stress that courage is built through imperfect action, repeated practice, and pushing into the discomfort zone. They share concrete tactics: a 5‑day video challenge, a library of 180 short video prompts (CherylPlouffe.com/180), writing in a conversational voice (or using voice‑to‑text), and embracing one’s unique quirks to create a memorable brand. Paula describes the twofold results of showing up – greater personal clarity about business direction and increased attraction from audiences who remember authentic, distinctive personalities. The conversation ends with practical marketing advice (write like you speak) and contact information for Paula (0luck.com, paulataliesian.com).
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The answer should be yes. You should all be nodding in agreement. Yes, Cheryl. Yes, we should all be showing up in our businesses. But that can be easier said than done if you have fear lingering inside of you. Welcome to Cash In On Camera! I'm your host Cheryl Plouffe. And Paula Taliesin is our guest expert today to talk about courage. You know, how do we build courage in our businesses? How do we show up? I've got my own thoughts and ideas on how to do that. But we brought Paula on because we've become fast friends. And she has some really unique twists around this concept as well. So, Paula, excited to have you on the show today.
I'm excited to be here.
So, let's dive into this idea of, you know, first of all, let's just go back to why people have trouble showing up in the first place. And I think the title of our episode today, What If Nobody Likes Me, probably gives it away. People are really a lot of times apprehensive because they fear what other people will think of them. Tell me what you think about that.
Well, I think that's something that happens to us as we're growing up because there's such a huge push, especially in the elementary school years, to conform with the group, to not stand out, to follow the trends. And that really impacts us. We take our childhood selves into our adulthood, um, and it shows up in very unfortunate sometimes ways. We have to unlearn things, unlearn things like conforming to the group. So, "What if nobody likes me?" is a very fundamental human reaction to sticking your neck out, right? When you show up with your unique work, your unique self, the way you, the way you carry yourself, the way you speak, you know, you're sort of thinking, "Are they all just going to sort of make fun of me?" Even, even though as an adult that doesn't really come into play. So it is definitely a childhood thing for everyone.
And for anyone watching the live stream right now, because we're live on YouTube, but my Facebook page, Facebook group, LinkedIn, and Twitter at the same time, let know wherever you're watching from in the chat or the comment box what questions you have around this specific topic. And I'd love to know also, if you're willing to share, what is something that you feel is holding you back. So Paula, I know that with your business you work a lot with solopreneurs and you help people go from zero to, you know, that half-million-dollar mark in their businesses. And it's really, um, the tenet of what you do. But in order to do that, you likely have had to face some challenges of your own in terms of showing up. So tell me a little bit more about some of the challenges you feel that you faced over your entrepreneurial journey.
Yeah, absolutely. So, um, I carried that whole childhood thing into adulthood, the, the trying to conform, um, because I was picked on as a child. I had a bit of a rough time growing up, and then I married someone who decided to put me down. So there was a whole lot of overcoming what other people had sort of convinced me of. So the very first time I decided to release my art into the public, I was terrified. The very first time I decided to release my writing into the public, I was terrified. And the very first time I went on video, absolutely, absolutely terrified. So, so it's, you know, we all have to work through things, but the one thing I do know is that people don't care. They don't care as much as we care. We have that little window where nobody knows you. You can show up, you can make your mistakes, you can, you can create your courage through your actions and they won't care. So for me, getting on video was the biggest one because I knew I couldn't be in an online business, in a public-facing business without being able to overcome the video thing. It was literally one of my best friends made me. She challenged me. She knows I'm competitive and she challenged me to show up 5 days in a row to talk about my very first book on Facebook, not even publicly, just to my Facebook friends.. And the first time I was like, I'm Paula, Paula Tslizian, and, um, I think I wrote a book.
Bye. It's like a 10-second video and you're gone. It's a good thing you say that because that was, you know, when we have run challenges in the past, what we have found through the work that we've done is that that's exactly what it is. That very first video is the hardest one to do. Nothing is as difficult as the first one. The next, you know, 5 might be challenging, but they shouldn't be as terrifying as the very first one. So, love that you found that courage within yourself to show up on video and to really show up in your business. What advice do you have to those who are watching either live or on the replay or even listening to the podcast version right now? If they're feeling like, "Yeah, but I can't seem to muster up that courage," what do they need to do to take action?
Well, you need to know that you can't think your way through. You can't talk your way into it. You can't do anything but actually just do it. So there's the, the whole thing where you just sometimes have to go and push yourself into that. It can be, again, like my very first live, 5 minutes, hi, and then I disappeared. And just realize that practice is what creates that courage, that act of showing up. But also the adrenaline is addictive. If you don't push yourself into your discomfort zone, you don't know what you're made of. You don't know what you're capable of. And afterwards you get this high, like a runner's high, but minus the exercise. Like, oh, thank goodness, you know, where, where you've shown up and you're like, I did it, I did it, and nobody killed me, the world didn't end, you know. It's, it's, I can do it again. And it becomes a sort of a little bit addictive to do it. And then you start getting more and more comfortable. So my, my bottom line is just do it. Just do it. Get it over with, even if it's very short, even if it's in front of a small group of people, and then expand.. But you do have that window where nobody cares because they don't know you. They don't care. They're not going to go to you and say, well, remember, Paula, in December of 2018, you showed up and it was 5 minutes and kind of boring. Nobody has come to me and said that, right? They're not going to remember. So it's a benefit.
I think that we are so close to what we do. We're so close to the work that we're doing, the offers we're creating, our sales, our marketing, and all of the different divisions of our businesses. Like we're so close to it that we think that everybody else is as close as we are. And they're not. They only see a small portion of the stuff that you're putting out there. And you do have to— I agree with you 100%. You have to just start taking imperfect action. There is no way around it. You can't, like you said, think your way out of it. And one of the things that we've created and is a list of prompts very short Mad Libs-style prompts. You can find it at CherylPlouffe.com/180 for 180 video prompts. Because of that reason alone, Paula, is just giving people that impetus and that little template to be able to just go and do a 1-minute live stream. It does not have to be an epic 20-minute interview at this stage. Just take that first step. So, Let's move into results. So, let's say we can't think our way out of this. We have to take that imperfect action, whether you use a prompt or you find the courage or you get out there and you start doing the lives or you get the training that you need to do it. But let's talk results. So, when you found the courage to do it and you started really building your business, and I know you were involved heavily in the arts world for some time. Now, you're working with solopreneurs. You know, what kind of results have you seen in your business as a result of finding the courage to show up?
The results are twofold because you can become more clear about your business. So, you realize as you're speaking, as you're showing up, what you actually want to do because our bodies tend to know more than our brains do. So, you'll get that result. But also, people become attracted to you when you show up as yourself, authentically you. So, if you gesture with your hands a lot, which I tend to do, so I'm kind of sitting on them right now. If you tell terrible jokes, if you roll roll your eyes. Just embrace how unique you are because it's your uniqueness that creates that hook that lets you stick in somebody's head. We remember the people who are different even though we've been conditioned our whole lives to conform. We remember the people who are different. So, um, yeah, just show up and be yourself. And, um, it, it's twofold. It helps you and it helps other people. So that's, that's what I found for myself as well.
I know that you are an accomplished artist and that a lot of your work are in people's private galleries and, and whatnot. Let's talk about self-expression because it's so unique and different for each individual entrepreneur or solopreneur out there in terms of how they show up. How important is it to be different or to be self-expressive online?
It's incredibly important. Absolutely. I mean, we don't remember all the beige people basically. All the people who look the same, act the same, say the same things. There's a thousand replaceable people for them. You want to be as different as possible. Find that intersection of skills that you have. Everybody has a unique way of expressing themselves, a unique series of experiences, and unique zones of genius. Where those intersect, that's where your success lies. That's where your difference lies. And that's where people are going to remember you.
I love that. So, Paula, we have a little segment that we do on the show and we all have to market ourselves. And we call it Stop Marketing Like It's 1999. So I'd love to know from you, what is something marketing-wise that you have done? It could be a tip, a tool, a tactic, a technique that you've utilized in your business that's really helped you to grow.
Yeah, so I'm a writer with quite a few books out. And the one thing I do is I write like I speak. So my email newsletter, it goes out weekly. It literally is full of the kind of language I typically use. And whether you resonate with it, you'll be happy with it. If you don't, well, you know, we'll part ways. But it's just writing like I speak. So I think it's important to get rid of all the businessy stuff. I think, you know, if you've been in business long enough, everybody's written something so boring, you know, you just want to cry when you read it and not read it. So, so write like you speak, express yourself, be passionate. It's okay to be passionate about stuff. My accountant, I love her. She thinks that spreadsheets are the stuff that life is made of. I've stayed with her for years because I've never met somebody who loves accounting the way she loves accounting. Really own your passion for whatever it is and express it. So, in writing, express it the way you would speak and maybe even use voice-to-text. So, if you're not a writer, use voice-to-text to your advantage and then edit to make it readable.
That's what I like to do. I will take my phone and I will dictate into the phone, into my Notes app and get the premise of the idea down first. And then, I'll go back and I'll take it and maybe start to massage the words. And I don't worry too much about grammar. I mean, yeah, it'd be great to have perfect grammar. But I think what's more important is expressing the idea, the thought, you know, and really helping people to learn something from what it is you're sharing. So I appreciate that. Awesome. Paula, how can people get in touch with you?
Well, you can find me at 0luck.com, and that's the word zero, then the word percent, and luck, of course, dot com. And paulataliesian.com for my writing and my art. Um, all emails go to me, so me personally, I'm a one-person show.
I love that. And you know, it's, it's interesting, right? It brings up a great point, and that's where we'll end the, the show today. But you know, listen, your business can be whatever you want it to be. You can craft it to fit the lifestyle that you want. So many people, I think they see people with, you know, teams of 50, 100 people doing all these different things, when really I think you and I probably are both on the same path. We just want to have a really robust business that with a small team of people, maybe solo, you know, that really supports the lifestyle that we want. So Paula, thank you so much for having, uh, for coming on the show today and for sharing your insights with us.
Well, thank you for having me.
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