In this solo interview, Dr Shiny Unsal, creator of Neuroshine Technology, ICF‑certified coach, Forbes Coaches Council executive coach, and licensed NLP trainer, explains why listening is as crucial as speaking in effective communication. She outlines three progressive levels of listening: Level 1, where attention is self‑focused and the listener interprets new information only in relation to personal beliefs, values, and goals; Level 2, which shifts to an empathetic stance, asking “What does this mean for them?” and mentally adopting the other person’s perspective, goals, and needs; and Level 3, which integrates Levels 1 and 2 with contextual factors such as environment, timing, and sensory cues, ensuring the listener is mentally and physically prepared for deep dialogue. Drawing on two decades of neuroscience and communication research, Dr Unsal emphasizes that humans fundamentally crave to feel heard, seen, appreciated, and, most importantly, safe. She urges listeners to practice Level 2 and Level 3 listening to provide these emotional gifts, thereby enhancing relationships in personal and professional settings.
Chapters
Hello everyone. My name is Shiny Unsal. I am the creator of Neuroshine Technology and Academy of Neuroshine Technology. I am an ICF certified coach, a member and an executive coach at Forbes Coaches Council. And I'm also a licensed NLP trainer teaching neuro-linguistic programming so that people can create a powerful mindset and live their own life on their own terms. When you study communication, you tend to see tips and tools about how to design your language. You don't get to see much about how to take in the language that you're hearing from outside and store it inside. It's called listening. I am going to talk about 3 levels of listening and why they're important for you to become a better communicator. Level 1 is when you're totally in your own world and you are asking this question to yourself. What does it mean to me? Right? What does it mean to me? Your focus is on yourself. Your attention is on yourself. It's all about you, your beliefs, your values, your goals, where you are in your life, and how does that upcoming information from the outside world is relating to your reality, right? So that is level 1 listening. And that is actually what we witness most of the time. And that is a problem. Why is it a problem? Because not everything is about you. Level 2, listening for the other person. Level 2 feels like, hmm, how I would do things if I were them. And you put your focus on the other person. And you become them. How you become them is you start thinking as if you are them. You, you do your best to look at the reality that they're in, their friends, their perspectives, their goals, where they are in life, how old they are, if they are a man or a woman, or if they have needs different than yours. If they have different goals and vision about life, you literally become them. And that is a very big shift in your consciousness. In order to really forget about you, you need to be asking yourself this question at level 2 listening. What does it mean for them? What does it mean for this person? What does it mean for this client, for this, manager or employee, right? So it's literally being selfless. Level 3 combines Level 1, Level 2 with the environment and time. Level 3 listening is also open to sensory equity. If you're in a meeting and if you know that you are paying attention to that person's needs and goals at Level 2, you also bringing extra elements like, okay, where are we now? Is it a good environment to talk to talk about these things? Is it a good time? Is your mind prepared for this question? Is your mental space open to go deep with this content? I have been studying neuroscience and communication for the last 20 years. What we want really, truly as humanity, we want to feel heard, We want to feel seen and we want to feel appreciated. And more so, even more important than all these three is we want to be safe. And if you want to give these emotions, this safety and being heard and seen and appreciated to the people you're communicating with, I invite you to communicate and listen at level 2 and level 3. You will give people such a gift. You will be able to give them the feeling of being heard, seen, appreciated.
